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  1. Link to Post #1
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    Default Love

    Love weirds me out. The very concept.

    There are very few people I truly love in this life and they are all blood family, and my dog. I'm not kidding. It weirds me out that I love these folks so much that I will throw away all of my life's philosophical ideas and beliefs in a heartbeat over minuscule scenarios. Does that make sense?

    I started this thread because I want to know how folks cope with this crazy level of love when it comes to partners; folks they've met outside of their family. AKA, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife.

    I've been with a bunch of girls but honestly when I think of it... I think I've only been in infatuation and never love. I've experienced a similar level of 'dropping morals in place of protection of those you're close to' but in retrospect it always seems to be motivated by outside sources. Basically keeping up with the whole dog eat dog world kinda thing: you musn't be the weak one. As a result I show my teeth. That being said, the feeling isn't the same as with family, hence, love.

    I don't see love happening because I'm too ****ing crazy. I don't want to 'open the gates' so to speak. Not to sound melodramatic but I've gone through some **** in my life and if I open the gates of trust bad things can happen, irreversible life decision kind of things.

    I know, I know! That sounds psycho. That's the problem: I am a psycho.

    So what do you folks have to say? Got any words of encouragement for your fellow Avalonian?
    Just as every cop is a criminal
    And all the sinners saints

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    Default Re: Love

    My feeling is that when you love, you love all the way..with nothing held back.

    As it should be, in my view.

    That's the greatest prize on earth... 2 people loving each other unabashed and without reservation. It's the best feeling I've ever experienced.

    The problem maybe, when you love all the way, is that there's nothing left in the tank to nurse you back to health when it all goes sour. With all your emotional resources having been used up, you're left totally vulnerable. It's a horrifying place to be...alone, with that pain, and nothing left to soften the blow. The worst feeling imaginable.

    So most people will love only partially. It's a damage control maneuver. The fear of loving fully and leaving themselves totally open to potential disaster is too much to take. There may be some utility in this, and arguably even some wisdom...but with it one forfeits the chance at the best feeling imaginable, which is that unreserved and unabashed reciprocal love that sometimes occurs when 2 courageous people throw caution to the wind and decide they want to live life to the absolute fullest...even if for a finite amount of time, and even if the resulting pain of a potential breakup will leave them emotionally crippled for months or even years.

    So no, you're not a psycho bro. You're just aware of the dangers involved, and you're being cautious. If you're living life with a crippling illness, like you and I both do, sometimes all it takes is a snapped shoelace to drive you over the edge. Imagine what a broken heart would do?

    So it's risky. However, in the greater scheme of things, the bigger risk is to not allow yourself a chance at this type of love. Youll likely find yourself on your death bed one day, terribly disappointed in yourself if you don't
    Last edited by Mike; 31st October 2019 at 07:32.

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    Default Re: Love

    Fear to me is a contracted energy around Me.

    Love therefore is an expansive energy around everything.

    Love also freaks me out. Luckily we have a generator of Love which is the Heart and the fuel seems to be Me.

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    Default Re: Love

    I love my daughter more than anything in the world. I would go broke trying to please her.

    I can't imagine risking my life to save a friends life.

    I don't crave love, but it seems like it would be nice to have after watching televisions shows like, "90 Day Fiance."

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    Default Re: Love

    No problem with love at all. Laying down my life could be for anyone, given the right circumstance - I'm not picky.

    When young I often had two girlfriends, in case one was busy...

    Fell in love three times. The first two times, it turns out, I was mistaken.
    Forget about it

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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    So it's risky. However, in the greater scheme of things, the bigger risk is to not allow yourself a chance at this type of love. Youll likely find yourself on your death bed one day, terribly disappointed in yourself if you don't
    I 100% agree with Mike here. Strat, the last thing you want is Mike's scenario coming to pass where rather than feeling deep contentment with a life well lived, waves of second guessing yourself start washing over you like "if only I could have it to do over again", "what have I done", thoughts like that circling like vultures as you exit stage left.

    Not the way you want to go.

    If/when you wind up meeting that right girl, don't let her go and give her all the love you have in your heart. Chances are she will give it back in return, and even if it goes south, she dies before you, or whatever, there's the old saying "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". Some may disagree with that sentiment but, to me its gold.

    Now some people are just meant to remain single, and that's just fine and I even have a dear old friend who was destined for the single life, but for those otherwise inclined and just never act on it, for whatever reason, I see only mounting regret as one ages into their senior years.

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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by Gracy May (here)
    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    So it's risky. However, in the greater scheme of things, the bigger risk is to not allow yourself a chance at this type of love. Youll likely find yourself on your death bed one day, terribly disappointed in yourself if you don't
    I 100% agree with Mike here. Strat, the last thing you want is Mike's scenario coming to pass where rather than feeling deep contentment with a life well lived, waves of second guessing yourself start washing over you like "if only I could have it to do over again", "what have I done", thoughts like that circling like vultures as you exit stage left.

    Not the way you want to go.

    If/when you wind up meeting that right girl, don't let her go and give her all the love you have in your heart. Chances are she will give it back in return, and even if it goes south, she dies before you, or whatever, there's the old saying "better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all". Some may disagree with that sentiment but, to me its gold.

    Now some people are just meant to remain single, and that's just fine and I even have a dear old friend who was destined for the single life, but for those otherwise inclined and just never act on it, for whatever reason, I see only mounting regret as one ages into their senior years.
    Yes - this also has a lot of meaning to me! I walked away from a group and unfortunately a marriage, mainly because I realized, I'd miss out on what else I wanted to do. The following quote says that:
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

    -- H. Jackson Brown Jr. - Author

    I am single since, but I am working on changing this. Isn't it up to me in the end?
    Last edited by Michi; 31st October 2019 at 15:10.
    "The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own."
    -- Benjamin Disraeli

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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    However, in the greater scheme of things, the bigger risk is to not allow yourself a chance at this type of love. Youll likely find yourself on your death bed one day, terribly disappointed in yourself if you don't
    Very well said Mike. No Regrets - if you know you're going to regret NOT doing something - do it (or at least give yourself a chance)

    Not to be confused with "Better to regret things you have done, than things you haven't" - that one is evil.

    Here's another punch in the guts one "Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?" - I think that question's a trick, and I refuse to answer it

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    Default Re: Love

    Love............ It's like gold dust.

    Hard to find, easy to lose.



    Believe me, I know.

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    Default Re: Love

    “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
    I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

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  21. Link to Post #11
    United States Avalon Member Ayt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by Sstarss (here)
    “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
    I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”
    So perfect, Sstarss

    If I may, here is the entire poem, by Sarah Williams. I had to do a long research project on Tycho Brahe back in school, and this poem to me is truly touching.

    Quote The Old Astronomer to His Pupil
    by Sarah Williams

    Reach me down my Tycho Brahe,—I would know him when we meet,
    When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
    He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
    We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

    Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
    Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
    And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
    And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

    But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
    You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
    What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
    What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

    You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
    But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
    Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
    I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

    What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
    You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
    I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
    You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

    Well then, kiss me,—since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
    There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
    I can dimly comprehend it,—that I might have been more kind,
    Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

    I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,—
    Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
    But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
    To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

    There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
    To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
    And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
    Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

    I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
    But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
    So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
    See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

    I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
    Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
    It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,—
    God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.
    "We're all bozos on this bus"

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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    However, in the greater scheme of things, the bigger risk is to not allow yourself a chance at this type of love. Youll likely find yourself on your death bed one day, terribly disappointed in yourself if you don't
    Very well said Mike. No Regrets - if you know you're going to regret NOT doing something - do it (or at least give yourself a chance)

    Not to be confused with "Better to regret things you have done, than things you haven't" - that one is evil.

    Here's another punch in the guts one "Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?" - I think that question's a trick, and I refuse to answer it
    I just joined www.okcupid.com. It is SO scary putting yourself out there, but I really like what you're saying here. You don't know what you could be missing out there. I have been happily single for a very long time, but I do have a lot of love to give. I believe I am what is called a, "hopeless romantic."

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  25. Link to Post #13
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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by Ayt (here)
    Quote Posted by Sstarss (here)
    “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
    I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”
    So perfect, Sstarss

    If I may, here is the entire poem, by Sarah Williams. I had to do a long research project on Tycho Brahe back in school, and this poem to me is truly touching.

    Quote The Old Astronomer to His Pupil
    by Sarah Williams

    Reach me down my Tycho Brahe,—I would know him when we meet,
    When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
    He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
    We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

    Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
    Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
    And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
    And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

    But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
    You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
    What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
    What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

    You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
    But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
    Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
    I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

    What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
    You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
    I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
    You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

    Well then, kiss me,—since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
    There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
    I can dimly comprehend it,—that I might have been more kind,
    Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

    I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,—
    Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
    But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
    To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

    There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
    To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
    And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
    Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

    I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
    But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
    So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
    See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

    I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
    Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
    It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,—
    God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.
    Perfection

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    Default Re: Love

    Romantic love is a creation. We can create it for anyone, but hopefully for someone who is compatible. As to compatibility, I have observed that people are best off marrying someone whose astrology sun sign is the same element as their own, but not their own sign: Pisces with Cancer or Scorpio, Aries with Leo or Sagittarius, Taurus with Virgo or Capricorn, Gemini with Libra or Aquarius. Also, it's helpful if the woman's moon sign is the same sign as the man's sun sign, which can make up for less compatible sun signs. The longest marriages are often with opposite signs -- rocky but long-lasting. The older the couple, the less these rules matter, since we mellow with age.

    Another important factor is common interests. Couples who have little in common except attraction don't do as much together. So the best way to find "the one" is at some activity you are interested in. A scuba diver shouldn't be going to the art museum or grocery store to find a partner, they should be going on group scuba diving trips.
    Last edited by TomKat; 31st October 2019 at 22:54.

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    Default Re: Love

    Quote Posted by RogueEllis (here)
    I just joined www.okcupid.com. It is SO scary putting yourself out there, but I really like what you're saying here. You don't know what you could be missing out there. I have been happily single for a very long time, but I do have a lot of love to give. I believe I am what is called a, "hopeless romantic."
    You never!!! I can barely contain my shock here

    I'm a website developer who once considered developing a dating website, and OKCupid is pretty brilliantly developed, I have to say. I answered ALL the seemingly-limitless questions, and then I began to develop feelings for the website
    Once I had all the questions answered it began letting me vote up/down other new questions, so essentially my prize for answering all those questions was WORK (ha ha)

    I met a guy on okcupid.com who was a lot like me, almost eerily so. There was 0 physical attraction though, on either side. We just had a lot in common (very low enemy percentage too, ha ha)

    I've had more success with choosing people based off PHOTO ONLY. I know it sounds superficial, but I think part of us (our subconscious) is able to help us choose. One day I decided to give it a try, and I picked the happiest looking guy near me on PlentyOfFish.com to talk to. We're still great friends to this day - I made a friend for life.

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