Is anyone having non stop difficult , antagonistic and contentious e mails, texts and so on?

[thepainterdoug]

This has to be the worst year for me in communication between friends etc due to e mail, text messaging and any other form of communication that lacks the human being not being present and right in front of me.

E mails and texts back and forth,constant mis spellings, things taken wrong, mis interpreted, Olive branches offered, not returned, or even making things worse.

Just hard keyboard data being pounded back and forth, people hearing what they want to hear and firing back. It's so painful, and now I'm reaching a tipping point.

Without the human face, its inflections, the eye wink, the brow raise, a slight smirk, the package of all human qualities along with the intonation of tone and nuance of voice, we are killing ourselves.

Tech if not killing us, is changing us. We are jamming in too much in too little time and no one has time to really hear what each of us are saying.

I want peace and harmony in my life . And that means, like it or not, some measure of agreement with each other. You cannot be peaceful while in constant conflict.

And now it seems I cannot even have this harmony with so called good friends.

Whats going on?? anyone else having this on an incresed level?

[Frank V]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
This has to be the worst year for me in communication between friends etc due to e mail, text messaging and any other form of communication that lacks the human being not being present and right in front of me.

E mails and texts back and forth,constant mis spellings, things taken wrong, mis interpreted, Olive branches offered, not returned, or even making things worse.

Just hard keyboard data being pounded back and forth, people hearing what they want to hear and firing back. It's so painful, and now I'm reaching a tipping point.

[...]

I want peace and harmony in my life . And that means, like it or not, some measure of agreement with each other. You cannot be peaceful while in constant conflict.

And now it seems I cannot even have this harmony with so called good friends.

Whats going on?? anyone else having this on an incresed level?

I'm not experiencing this to the same level as yourself right now, but I have certainly known many days like that in my life. Or days where you do some good deed for someone else, and then the universe punishes you for it.

I'm not an astrologer ─ there are people here who know a lot more about astrology than I do ─ but it could be something astrological that's playing out right now, in addition to the more down-to-earth explanation that people are starting to exhibit cabin fever because of the lockdowns.

[thepainterdoug]

Thanks Frank, AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? I NEED AN ASTROLOGER!! lol just kidding.

hey im open to all, but i thinks is non human contact and pecking out communication in general thats adding up.

covid not helping, thats for sure

[Kryztian]

I was experiencing that a lot in 2018. Having misunderstandings with people whom I thought had a high degree of integrity and then KABOOM. Strangely, the wounds healed and the relationships resumed with the people I was quite willing to let go of and but not with the ones I valued.

I think some higher cosmic force is at work, good or bad, saying "you don't need that person in your life." Then you grieve the relationship, for ever what is was worth, and move on.

[thepainterdoug]

thanks Kryztian I guess its my turn. its beyond incredible that it warranted me writing a post on it. I think people are under a lot of pressure beyond the helping of covid 19

everyone is a googling expert, you cant show anyone anything without it being dissected before its even read and thought about. lots of need to win, by all armchair experts. the election year adding to camps digging in for battle.

im keeping with my favorite saying, " i dont know, i wasnt there".

[TomKat]

Posted by Frank V (here)
I'm not an astrologer ─ there are people here who know a lot more about astrology than I do ─ but it could be something astrological that's playing out right now, in addition to the more down-to-earth explanation that people are starting to exhibit cabin fever because of the lockdowns.

Well, Mercury's NOT in retrograde, if that's what you were thinking of.

[waves]

I suspect that people felt pushed to quick take sides and quick hard-commit to it for survival and their choice was determined by how mentally prepared/awake/researched they were.

E..v..e..r..y..o..n..e got blindsided virtually between breakfast and lunch with 50+ applecarts of their routines and future expectations suddenly upset for the worse and gone for life.

Everyone had to regroup, rethink, replan while suddenly under a mainstream media blindsiding of fear and to me, the world split into the side that stopped looking and learning to survive, or the side that increased their looking and learning to survive.

So my experience so far is....
1. the swarms of people instantly committed to the fear narrative won't budge and feel their survival depends on shutting out any threat to their commitment, and they must actively shoot anyone trying to tell them otherwise,
2. friends still committed to the Q/Trump 'just wait, it's all necessary' crowd won't budge and feel their survival depends on shutting out any threat to their commitment and they justify away anything contrary,
3. but I'm having the most soaring energetic deep and amazed conversations with my most mentally prepared/unsurprised friends who have no walls, no fear based commitments because they were prepared for this.

So I'm saying your experience sounds like feeling the effects of people having dug their heels in on their choice/side taking - they think it's for survival - and it feels threatening to consider anything else for now.
Does any of that ring true?

[DeDukshyn]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
thanks Kryztian I guess its my turn. its beyond incredible that it warranted me writing a post on it. I think people are under a lot of pressure beyond the helping of covid 19

everyone is a googling expert, you cant show anyone anything without it being dissected before its even read and thought about. lots of need to win, by all armchair experts. the election year adding to camps digging in for battle.

im keeping with my favorite saying, " i dont know, i wasnt there".

I totally know what you mean. I tend to speak using the English language accurately and literally, but also I use a lot of metaphors to help explain things. Because of this, I get so much of people thinking I mean things I don't say, things for intentions I don't intend, and people trying to read into my metaphors too literally. I think extremely objectively and everyone seems to always be trying to figure out what my subjective intention is (when there isn't one), then they judge that which they created in their mind about what they assume to be my subjective intention, and react to that judgement, leaving me stunned how the hell people got what they interpreted out of what I actually said.

When I find another individual who can speak openly, honestly and objectively the way I do, its like I am finally communicating with someone for the first time ever! Its a joy! But unfortunately, especially in this day of social media, phone zombies, etc, these people are very few and far between.

I spend a lot of time trying to defend myself from judgements and attacks from people who think I am meaning something different than what I say. It makes communication difficult, and I am finding it is only getting worse and worse.

I also see that 85% of the disagreements are actually solely because of people misinterpreting or re-interpreting what is being said to justify their programmed emotional reaction to it - no brain or actual critical thoughts ever get used.

The problem is actually emotional alignments to things, ideas, ideologies, beliefs, dogma, or whatever programming the individual has received that they tend to identify with as "themself". The ego then kicks into play and tries to defend "the self as defined by these programs" and lashes out in defense. It doesn't care what the topic is, it suppresses the thought and replaces it with an instant reaction - like how it would defend the body from physical harm.

Everyone does this, to some extent at least.

So I have tried to use these issues as a challenge to myself to try to find a way to communicate that bypasses these processes. It doesn't always go well -- the ego sometimes gets really upset if you try to trick it or bypass it; but sometimes, if you use your words just right, and the recipient is somewhat receptive to this, a program might get broken. This is the only way I know of of influencing change in others, aside from being an example. It doesn't work that often, but I have been through an entire course where this method is employed almost exclusively as a self improvement and communication improvement program (Landmark Forum), and the results were very good.

Where I cannot influence the discussion for a better course, I then (try) to use it as on opportunity to practice acceptance and move on.

[DeDukshyn]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
...
everyone is a googling expert, you cant show anyone anything without it being dissected before its even read and thought about. lots of need to win, by all armchair experts. the election year adding to camps digging in for battle.

im keeping with my favorite saying, " i dont know, i wasnt there".

Yes there's support for every single possible view on the net these days - simply googling to find an opposing viewpoint has completely replaced actual research.

I saw an article pasted on FB yesterday that was an "expert" debunking a bunch of COVid19 conspiracy theories (some of the debunking I fully agreed with but that is beside my point).

The guy was a "brain specialist" working with "behaviors" and the article laid out some interesting work he had done with viruses etc. and anyway, fluffed up all his credentials and how much research he had done in his life and how much of an "expert" he was etc.

He then just went through a list of these conspiracy theories and said he didn't believe any of them and if you did you were stupid.

No research, no looking into the reasoning why people are entertaining these theories, no answering the questions people have, just "I'm an expert and if you believe this, you're an idiot". No critical thought ... nothing at all. But this was circulating around facebook as "proof" that these "conspiracy theories" are nothing but BS.

Its frightening to see people's lack of ability to do anything but parrot that which aligns to their emotional reactions.

I totally have as much frustrations as you in this area, but as I mentioned, I'm trying to see what lesson is in this for me ...

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

You're not wrong thepainterdoug. I've had the same observation, many times, particularly with text messaging. People can so easily fall out over a simple text. It's because humans - well some humans - can be very emotional, using base emotions as the sole judge and jury in a situation, particularly when stressed. An emotional context will often be imagined and placed where it wasn't. Guile, falsehood, manipulation, etc., will even be ascribed when it was never present at all. People project their insecurities into the reactions (and interactions) of other people all the time, and most of all in communications that are not face to face.

Texting is not a good medium for conversation. Email is better. Texts are rapid and have limited space. I only text now to send an actual 'message', what texts were originally designed for, like 'I'll be home at 2 o'clock', or 'don't forget to pick up some milk while you're there,' etc. For anything that requires a response, some level of actual discourse, I'll call them and speak to them directly.

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

Posted by DeDukshyn (here)
[INo research, no looking into the reasoning why people are entertaining these theories, no answering the questions people have, just "I'm an expert and if you believe this, you're an idiot". No critical thought ... nothing at all. [/I]

^This.^

Anyone who openly announces they're 'an expert', should automatically qualify one's incredulity. Like the guy who says they're god's gift to women and a love-machine. It probably means they're actually a virgin. The ego usually takes over when the intellect is short of something to say, because it doesn't know or dare not speak the truth.

Like UFOs. (It always comes back to that with me). The number of people that have locked eyes with me over the years and pointedly stated that UFOs were bullsh!t and they don't exist... My God. I used to argue the point, bitterly. Never to much avail. My response to them now is:

-how many books on UFOs have your read?
-how many documentaries have you seen?
-how many conferences have you attended?
-how many witnesses have you questioned?
-how many investigators have you spoken to?
-how many case histories have you studied?
-how many declassified documents have you reviewed?

and the list goes on.

When they say 'none' to ALL those questions, I allow myself the satisfaction of calmly asking them how they can then claim to have an informed opinion on the subject? Cue silence.

The same goes for any other subject, topic, or theory, especially conspiracy theories. I find that those who know little of substance on a given matter are often the loudest critic.

[Ernie Nemeth]

Funny, Doug, my experience is the opposite. Like the other inexplicable circumstances that left people wondering if they understood the world at all, my people are reconnecting with me, looking for some meaning behind the chaos.

I wonder what they really think of me since when the important things happen, they always come back, even if I haven't heard from them in decades, some since 911. Like I can sort it out for them, since I have dedicated my life to that pursuit and forsaken the material world.

I love them and I feel sorry for them but I don't have definitive answers to offer.

It makes me feel inadequate that I could not fulfill my ambition but they have fulfilled theirs. In a way I hold them to blame, and that just makes me feel even more inadequate.

But I know my role and hide my own petty thoughts of my own shortcomings so that I can look strong and sure. It's such a lie, but I'm all they got. I just think had you heeded my words during the good times you would not need to come running during the bad.

But worse, I consider the odds that soon things will go back to normal and the public will forget this fiasco, and I will again be forgotten. Until the next time the world seems to upend itself and they come searching for answers they are too lazy to pursue and do not even consider worthy of pursuit themselves.

Of course now they got UTube...haha

[thepainterdoug]

waves/ are these great conversations your having face to face? even skype etc. or just via text or e mail?? cause if i say by a text, the sky is blue, its an argument.
im sure the political season is contributing not to mention the correctness craze.

dedukshyn/ everyones an expert all of a sudden and yes metaphor and nuance going over like a lead balloon. these things would be softened and interpreted better if face to face. people need to see each others eyes.

star mariner. we as emotional creatures and not being done a good service with keyboards and tablets. so everyone has their news and "im right "weapon at their side at all time.

no one seems willing to have patience, hear the other side and contemplate . its just fire back asap.

thanks all

[waves]

waves/ are these great conversations your having face to face? even skype etc. or just via text or e mail?? cause if i say by a text, the sky is blue, its an argument.

The great conversations are long phone calls with friends I hadn't been talking regularly with but we reconnected because of this and are now back to regular. Like no time had passed, we were exactly the wide open minded/comparing big pictures thoughts friends we always were and both extra appreciated the rarity of that mindset compared to how everyone else around were acting sort of like you're describing. I always find myself thinking 'the air is so clear!'.

It's looking to me like the work one has done on ones self to not be a victim is really showing it's state of progress in everyone for better or worse... these two friends both naturally went into fearless observer detachment and awe, no fear or panic.

Maybe since I've avoided CELLphones/wifi from day 1, never texted and have no experience with that world of constant one line back and forth, my experience doesn't have that exact relevance you were looking for, but in other friends I've experienced the same hard lines drawn that won't budge, things taken wrong and an exasperation if I won't agree mostly in email that's sort of like you described and wanted to comment on the huge difference in those like that and those not too.

[Terry777]

I check the energy of everything I type, to see how it will come back to me in the future. Because of this I delete a lot of things before I post them, especially on FB.

[Denise/Dizi]

I am he worst at getting points across in writing, and find myself writing too much as a result. I try to remind people I am sharing opinions "subject to change", and encourage friendly dialogue. That doesn't always solve issues, but at least I know I gave it my best effort. It isn't just you. And I am ok with myself at the end of the day. Thats really all I can do..

You're not alone, I do believe people talk before they think anymore. pre programming replies. I have even caught myself finishing up a few comments here with "Lol".. And I try to keep that in mind constantly, even wear a red string on my wrist o remind me to drive my own actions rather than let previous habits drive me.. and still forget. I try to remain humble, exercise humility, and try at all times to he humane to others. But people are stressed out right now.

I also like what Wave wrote.. I laughed. Because it is so easy to say, "This is my opinion", or I may be wrong.. Every one seems to b Dr. Phil right now. Or whatever supposed expert you wish to replace that name with..

LOL.

[Agape]

There are few possible steps to consider:

a/deleting all junk and otherwise useless old mail from one and all of your mailboxes.

It includes emails from best friends and companies communicating “ah oh no thanks” on some inauspicious day. It too is “emotional junk” that better should not be recalled and accumulated.
Delete things like “death threats” and “mother in law cursing to hell” and other tragicomical matters you can miss in your life. Or keep just one copy of each for illustration.

It can take couple hours depending on how advanced the software but definitely worth it

b/ get new email address with better security ( ProtonMail is one possible example) that won’t be used in usual networking websites or company communication.

Decide how many friends can be trusted with your personal address again, accordingly.

c/Let the “old junk” run its own course and emails used as signed up or officially fulfill its purpose there


It helps to clean the energy field. Letting go of old letters is always important instead holding “all the information in”. What is truly important to our heart never goes anywhere, it stays there.

It’s not the Time to store things forever I’ve understood. It’s important to simplify, purify and sanctify



🙏🌟🙏

[thepainterdoug]

Denise/ Dizi

good observations, im guility of" LOL "too often, trying to soften the tone. and Im famous for over explaining when typing , feeling i need to overcompensate when not present with a real person.
all this being said, im not going to be a pushover, as some people need a good standing up! not only for me, but for them as well. sad how kindness is weakness in this world.

and thanks no need for me to put a red string around my wrist, im just going to visualize yours! and remember not to sign of with the silly lol

Terry 777, on facebook yes. I do the same. the vibe going with the words, important

Agape. thats a job i need to get to

doug/ red string

[Mashika]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
This has to be the worst year for me in communication between friends etc due to e mail, text messaging and any other form of communication that lacks the human being not being present and right in front of me.

E mails and texts back and forth,constant mis spellings, things taken wrong, mis interpreted, Olive branches offered, not returned, or even making things worse.

Just hard keyboard data being pounded back and forth, people hearing what they want to hear and firing back. It's so painful, and now I'm reaching a tipping point.

Without the human face, its inflections, the eye wink, the brow raise, a slight smirk, the package of all human qualities along with the intonation of tone and nuance of voice, we are killing ourselves.

Tech if not killing us, is changing us. We are jamming in too much in too little time and no one has time to really hear what each of us are saying.

I want peace and harmony in my life . And that means, like it or not, some measure of agreement with each other. You cannot be peaceful while in constant conflict.

And now it seems I cannot even have this harmony with so called good friends.

Whats going on?? anyone else having this on an incresed level?

I always find this very weird, i'm not sure email or texts or any other tech is actually the problem

For context, email has been around since like 1971 or so, it's even older by 10 years than my mom!

So it's not like email or texts are a recent thing that is changing people's minds

By the time my mom got her first computer it was around 1992, email and forums on the web had been around for plenty of years, so again it's not like this way of communicating is new at all

I think the way tech is used is what causes the problem, not tech influencing the behavior of people out of nowhere (or maybe both but hear me out for a bit)

At least for me and friends, we don't use email or txts as much if it's something we need to talk seriously, it doesn't really work, at all. There's always the chance that a single message can get misunderstood and if you try to reply to it while the other person is writing a wall of text on their side then your messages will get all crossed and things go into rant hell and more confusion and it's a never ending thing. Instead as soon as you find something weird or confusing on an email or text, just make a video call and then you have the following

the human face, its inflections, the eye wink, the brow raise, a slight smirk, the package of all human qualities along with the intonation of tone and nuance of voice

That's what we do, and it keep things moving forward, if you can't make a video call at least you can just jump into a voice call and figure out the problem without allowing for a chance to break a friendship because you all kept going with emails/txts that lose context very fast, specially if you all hit send at the wrong times and all messages are getting crossed, growing into a crazy argument over nothing

If you use Facebook/Whatsapp or any other chat app, it's normal to be able to send audio messages and make voice calls, and plenty of video call apps like Facetime or Zoom and others, so these days even if the people is at the other side of the world, why not just make the video calls? I constantly go into group video calls and it's not exactly the same as being in front of each other but still better than a wall of text. And is not like it wasn't the same before, i mean people use to send letters through post office that could take weeks to reach the recipient, then wait for more weeks to receive a reply

And phone calls have been around since forever so is not really the problem. It's more like people focused on trying to get something out of a technology that maybe wasn't mean to be used like that?

I don't know, i just meant to say that written letters have been around for centuries, and phone calls for more than a century now, and the problem was not around back then? Or is just how the communication medium is used? And about typos.. well if you are going to fail at grammar, as i do a lot it could also happen on a written letter sent through post office, doesn't it? That's more like an education problem than what medium you use to communicate

Anyways i would just jump into a phone call or a video call as soon as something feels wrong with an email or text, it's faster to reach an understanding if you are looking at the face of the other person or at least hearing their voice

Not trying to antagonize, just saying... 🤷🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🤍

[Constance]

This seems to be the state of the world at the moment. We need to treat the adults around us who are having emotional meltdowns/being antagonistic/argumentative the same way we would treat a tiny child. (and especially if that adult cannot self-regulate)

We cannot match that adults reactivity. We can only detach and be a witness for what they are going through with the same loving compassion that we would extend to a tiny child.

Episode 46: Detaching with Love & Integrity – An Interview with Joel Mitchell

https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/p...N1foOamSkW6zUA