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Thread: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

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    UK Avalon Member Sunny-side-up's Avatar
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    Default Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    I seen this happen so many times even here in Avalon forums.

    A person commenting on the views of a persons knowledge or views is, tainted straight away by said persons appearance and clothing?

    Things like 'was soon as i saw the person I was turned off by his/hers clothing'?

    Clothing and appearance should not matter.

    Don't read a book by it's cover.

    I only mention the above because we should not be influenced by packaging, like the way truth-seekers are negatively-re-packaged and all then see them in that light 0.o

    What is being delivered and or said by said person might well be wrong, just don't be pre-negatively conditioned by appearances.

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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    What if they are wearing a Maga hat, or hammers and sickles, or Nazi insignias? What if they wear masks alone in their car? Or hold signs that read BLM? Or ALM? What if they wear jeans and a Tshirt? Or their pants have holes at the knees or are worn down at their knees?

    Is it alright then to presume? Just asking. Do people wear cloths to make a statement, or do they just grab what is closest to hand?
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    Greece Avalon Member
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    Default Re: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    The word "appearance" is very vague. An appearance can be neutral but it can very well be charged positively or negatively. It can be a strong statement. Often, it is more than colours and aesthetics. It's the energy that vibrates depending on choices and intentions.

    I'm not supporting any kind of judgement based on the above, but someone can very well feel that he is not resonating with what he sees.

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    Default Re: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    But we DO judge books by their covers!! Why else have a gorgeous man with flowing hair and bare chest on the cover of a romance novel.

    We look at a person and say to ourselves...hmmm...do I like this person? Does this person reflect my values? Do I even want to strike up a conversation with this person who has purple hair, nose ring, and wife beater shirt? OR would I rather talk to a person that looks like me? ( assuming I don't have purple hair, nose ring and a skimpy t-shirt). This is your first impression.

    The second impression is the hand shake. Is it firm? Is it floppy? Is it cold and clammy?
    The third impression is do they look you in the eyes or are they shifting their eyes to the ground? to the sky? or everywhere but on your face?

    We are a walking Book!! Sometimes we even tell a story when we open our mouths and stick our size 13EEE into our mouths for saying something we shouldn't.

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    United States Avalon Member Sarah Rainsong's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    I think first impressions can be important, especially if it's a strong negative. I think, in general, our instincts react more strongly to something that might be threatening. (see The Gift of Fear by Gaven de Becker)

    On the other hand, reacting to something someone is simply wearing might be more of an indication of ourselves. One thing I have learned over the years is that people choose to wear what they do for myriad of reasons (be it clothing, hairstyles, tatoos, etc.), and jumping to a conclusion based solely on appearance is more reflective of the one doing the judging than the person judging.

    I prefer to trust my instincts, which rely more on mannerisms, speech, eye contact, and energy: things that are, IMO, going to reflect the true nature of a person rather than something as superficial as appearance.

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    Administrator Mark (Star Mariner)'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Does it matter what people dress and look like?

    If there was an award for the least fashionably inclined person in human history, I'd be in the finals at least. For the last 30ish years I've worn the exact same get up. For casualwear- jeans, plimsolls (a type of sneaker), t-shirt, and on top a usually tartan (plaid) patterned long-sleeved shirt. Year round. I replace with new jeans, new plimsolls, new shirts when necessary, but the general attire is the same, exactly the same. This is a male privilege I am more than willing to admit and own - in that I'm not compelled to buy, buy, buy, innovate, innovate, innovate.

    I think there's also certain leftover caveman dna remaining in my - and our - male systems, certainly in hetero male systems, that extends just so far as to present a reasonable appearance. We give very few damns for cutting a dash and striking a pose, or for looking smart, trendy or beautiful. Many of us are very 'inner' beings; the outward, with its accoutrements and costumes, is a foreign tongue of which we know very few words.

    Interestingly, it's how I (and us men, I think) view other men too. The more flashy a guy looks, the less interesting (and authentic) they seem, and the more dispossessed we feel. Not saying those who put in great effort, as well as cost! into their appearance are all shallow people. Not at all, but there is a psychological dynamic at play. Suffice it to say, men do judge other men by their appearance, but not in the same way that women view men, or men view women. In those instances, appearance takes on a very different energy.
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