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Thread: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

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    Avalon Member East Sun's Avatar
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    Default Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    How can someone plan in advance for to, not be a burden on a spouse in the
    event of them being debilitated by a stroke.

    Especially if the person wants to live in their home until they die this is
    important.

    In certain circumstances in a hospital or nursing home, stipulations can be made
    for a spouse to "pull the plug" if the Dr. deems it appropriate.

    But otherwise in the aforementioned scenario what can be specified by
    the "patient" so their wishes may be met.

    Should a person, with a lawyer draw up papers that specifies that they want to die
    under certain circumstances.
    What is the law in your State?

    For me because I had two strokes and two heart attacks I want to make specific
    plans so as to not be in a position where I can not know my my real situation.
    Then I want to die, That is clear.

    But laws that do not make sense may be in effect.

    I would want for my spouse to be able to decide according to my wishes.

    Any suggestions?
    Question Everything, always speak truth...

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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    I'll suggest, East Sun, that you consult an attorney in your area that focuses on wills, living wills, and power of attorney. You can do an Internet search for the attorneys' websites.

    An over-the-phone initial conversation may not cost you anything.
    I had these papers drawn up last year for about $400 to $500, if I recall correctly.

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    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    In the UK, there's a thing called a "living will". That acts in a similar way to a regular will (which activates when someone dies), but a "living will" applies if the unfortunate person is still alive but incapacitated in specifically named ways.

    It does seem like the US has something similar (and I'd guess many other countries, too). Here's an article by the Mayo Clinic:

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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    Dear East Sun,

    I could not just go by this thread without comment.

    I am in a similar situation and I can give a bit of advice.

    First, tell no one of your decisions, whatever they may be. Any history to the illness will be used against you by interested authorities.
    Second, help those who you care about prepare for what is to come and your wishes in that regard. Get them accustomed to the idea, so that it will not be as great a shock at the time.

    For me, an enemy of even the idea of death and who has managed to keep death at bay in most of its guises for over a half a century, I need a lot of lead time and practice to get used to the idea...and sometimes I just break down and cry about the hopelessness of it. And yet so it is...

    When I was young I had a recurring nightmare of a black figure getting ever closer. I was so terrified, I still sleep with the covers over my eyes as a result. I would contemplate who that scary shadow could be but never did figure it out. Looking back now, I think that cloaked and hooded person was death - getting ever nearer.


    I wish you and your loved ones only all the very best.
    Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless ó like water...Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. Bruce Lee

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    Avalon Member Satori's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    Quote Posted by East Sun (here)
    How can someone plan in advance for to, not be a burden on a spouse in the
    event of them being debilitated by a stroke.

    Especially if the person wants to live in their home until they die this is
    important.

    In certain circumstances in a hospital or nursing home, stipulations can be made
    for a spouse to "pull the plug" if the Dr. deems it appropriate.

    But otherwise in the aforementioned scenario what can be specified by
    the "patient" so their wishes may be met.

    Should a person, with a lawyer draw up papers that specifies that they want to die
    under certain circumstances.
    What is the law in your State?

    For me because I had two strokes and two heart attacks I want to make specific
    plans so as to not be in a position where I can not know my my real situation.
    Then I want to die, That is clear.

    But laws that do not make sense may be in effect.

    I would want for my spouse to be able to decide according to my wishes.

    Any suggestions?
    Check into www.compassionandchoices.org.

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    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    My sister was on Hospice. She thought she was dying of kidney failure. When she gave up hope the hospice nurse said do what you like, smoke, drink and enjoy what you can. then she adjusted her blood pressure meds and told her get off all that stuff. that was 3 years ago. she had put all in order and had a do no resuscitate in order. she made peace with it and then came back from it all

    you may want to make a video of all who are in agreement of what you want and distribute to certain family members and an attorney

    on another note I gain great solace in reading the NDE,S from this sight . there is no punishment for anything . forgive yourselves https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html

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    Avalon Member East Sun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    I always thought that Dr. Kevorkian was way ahead of his time. And we still have not
    caught up on his visions of reality, life and death.
    Question Everything, always speak truth...

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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    If you are in the U.S. and are on Medicare or Medicaid and your health is rapidly declining due to a condition that is treatable, but you choose not to receive expensive treatments that will extend your life, then you may qualify for hospice care. This could mean various things, including that a nurse is sent to your home just to make sure that you are clean and comfortable. There isn't much you can do to plan for this service until the time comes, but when it does, you will be evaluated to see if you qualify.

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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    My father and I completed the paperwork (real estate, bank, car title, who to notify, etc) before he left. It made the event much easier. I have done the same with my son.

    The croaking event, without pain and stress, might even be fun for an eternal being. How can going home to pure positive energy feel bad to the one croaking?

    I wonder if the departed ever looks back and feels the stress suffered by those left behind or by thinking about unreached goals.
    Last edited by Ron Mauer Sr; 15th September 2020 at 14:50.

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    Aaland Avalon Member Agape's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    I am sorry to digress bro but you donít want to get another stroke, you need to reduce the stress everyday, plan from one day to another.
    Start taking steps towards recovery. Keep your BP ( and GP) in check.

    Share some of the stress. Eat more greens everyday to improve your cardiovascular system.
    Get on regime. Start planning life after you get better ..

    No one knows how long are each of us going to be here. Even during the recent pandemic lockdown, and while so many people fell ill elsewhere others have recovered from long term illnesses for the word fell quiet for a while.

    Your life is in your hands and yours, at all times. We all depend on others, everyday.


    Anyway, itís not a good time to be ill or go to hospitals a lot these days if any. Being able to take control of your health is more important now than ever.
    Itís a big restart for many people, take or leave.


    I hope you can make it to 101.


    Best wishes


    🙏🌟🌸

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    Fiji Avalon Member Sunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    This website has Advance Health Care Directives for the 50 US states: https://www.nhpco.org/advancedirective/. If you download one, it gives loads of instruction on how to fill it out.

    I downloaded the California one to take a look. It's one of those files that you can't cut and paste, so here is a summary of what it contains:

    Part1: Power of Attorney for Health Care -- This lets you select someone to make decisions about your health care when you are unable to do so.

    Part 2: Individual Instructions -- Your wishes about your health care if you are unable to make decisions.

    Part 3: Your wishes about organ donation.

    Part 4: Lets you designate a physician to have primary responsibility for your health care.

    Part 5: Your signature and witnesses

    It seems like an easy form to fill out.

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    Avalon Member Satori's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    Quote Posted by East Sun (here)
    How can someone plan in advance for to, not be a burden on a spouse in the
    event of them being debilitated by a stroke.

    Especially if the person wants to live in their home until they die this is
    important.

    In certain circumstances in a hospital or nursing home, stipulations can be made
    for a spouse to "pull the plug" if the Dr. deems it appropriate.

    But otherwise in the aforementioned scenario what can be specified by
    the "patient" so their wishes may be met.

    Should a person, with a lawyer draw up papers that specifies that they want to die
    under certain circumstances.
    What is the law in your State?

    For me because I had two strokes and two heart attacks I want to make specific
    plans so as to not be in a position where I can not know my my real situation.
    Then I want to die, That is clear.

    But laws that do not make sense may be in effect.

    I would want for my spouse to be able to decide according to my wishes.

    Any suggestions?
    First and foremost: See a qualified, reputable probate/trust lawyer in your state.

    You will likely need: 1) a power of attorney (POA), 2) a health care directive (HCD), and 3) a Will. Depending on the size and nature of your estate, you may need or want a Trust. The POA and HCD are effective while you are alive and become operative when you are too mentally incapacitated to make decisions for yourself. A Trust is also effective during your lifetime.

    The POA should name a trusted person as your "attorney in fact" or "power of attorney", such as a spouse or an adult child. You can nominate a primary POA, and you can have a secondary and tertiary POA. For example, your spouse can be the primary, and an adult child can be named as as secondary and another person as tertiary. The secondary and tertiary individuals come into play only if the primary is unable or unwilling to act on your behalf per the terms of the POA. All states in the USA of legislation that regulates and spells out what is required for an effective POA.

    The same is true as to a HCD. In the HCD you can spell out in advance the medical circumstances in which you direct that live saving measures be provided or not provided. Most states require that, at a minimum, water and food be provided to a dying person. Other than that, the HCD can direct that no other measures be taken, or define, to some extent, what the measures should be, or not be.

    A will or a Trust (Trusts often contain a Will within them) direct who (the "natural objects of your bounty") you want to leave your estate to and what the "natural objects of your bounty" should receive upon your death. Depending on the size and nature of your estate there are tax consequences to dying. If you do not have a Will the State decides who gets what. But that is not necessarily a bad thing if you have a small estate and if you want what you have to go to your family members. But, without a Will, you can not direct who gets what.

    The man thing you want to do is keep as much of your estate as possible in the family or with the people you care about, and avoid probate and taxes. One way to do that short of a Will or a Trust, is to put as many assets into joint survivorship as possible. Assets held in joint survivorship pass by operation of law, that is, automatically, to the surviving joint owner(s). Examples are cars, houses, other real estate, banks accounts, retirement accounts.... Assets held in joint tenancy are not subject to probate and pass to the survivor(s) immediately. One can save money avoiding probate to the extent possible. Federal and state tax consequences are another matter.

    But, one is well-advised to engage the services of a qualified estate planner and tax expert.
    Last edited by Satori; 16th September 2020 at 21:19.

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  25. Link to Post #13
    Avalon Member East Sun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Plans in advance of your wish to die in the event of...

    I have contacted a lawyer who is working on what we need to put the process in place.
    In mass. USA you can have a lawyer draw up papers that can specify a person
    who can decide what you have decided in such circumstances.

    That could be a spouse or other.

    They know your wishes.

    Having said that, I have to say that,
    I have a very good immune system and and a very good diet and
    would never wear a mask if it were not for others freaking out for
    fear of me contaminating them.

    Do your research as to the ingredients in those vaccines. You will be
    shocked to see what is in them.
    And further make sure you know how those ingredient can affect you.

    .
    Question Everything, always speak truth...

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