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Thread: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thank you Bill for sharing your very moving story. We all wonder how we would act in the moment, when given the choice between saving ourselves and helping another.

    I was reading your story during my tea break at work and having trouble controling my feelings, then when Belle shared her story it finished me and I had to run off to the loo!

    Thank you Belle, I am very glad you are here with us. I have made lots of mistakes too!

    TigerLilly
    Last edited by TigerLilly; 17th February 2011 at 17:30.

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    UK Avalon Member red_rose's Avatar
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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Bill I think you're lovely

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    wow thats crazy scarey stuff, but to think that someone is alive because of you and that you put your friend first is amazing. Not all would have done that.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thank you Bill for your heart-felt sharing. What an amazing story and so beautifully expressed. I felt it and have learned something from it. You inspire....



    Quote Posted by Charlie Pecos (here)
    Belle,

    Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.

    I want to thank you for helping me to see that there are indeed others like me here.
    God bless you and know that you are loved Belle.

    Charlie


    Charlie and Belle,

    I am just like you. I feel the same things that you are expressing all the time and struggle with being on Earth also and have always felt like a social 'misfit'. My feeling a 'misfit' has led me to look for something deeper than the superficial of this world that seems to entertain so many. Our humanity connects us all and how beautiful when we share it with each other like Bill has done here. Connecting hearts in 'community' like this one is doing is what is important in my opinion. It is the only thing that matters really.

    We are all in this together and very much loved....


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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Belle (here)
    ... I've been feeling awkward and a bit uncomfortable since I joined. Everyone seems to so awakened and enlightened and I just keep making mistake after mistake. Guess I'm more than a little harsh on myself.
    ...
    ... I always felt like I was a mistake, that there was something wrong with me. I had learned at a very young age to treat every day as though it were my last, because that was a very real possibility...and sometimes I almost wished that would happen because I never felt like I belonged , like I fit in. I was never good enough.
    ...
    Quote Posted by Charlie Pecos (here)
    ... I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.
    ...

    Charlie
    Bill, that is an amazing story, both as a physical adventure story and a story of spiritual adventure. Thanks so much for sharing it, and for sharing yourself.

    Charlie posted on another thread the other day, just opened up his heart and gave the biggest cyber-bear hug in history, to someone who really needed it, and I just basked in the glow. Wherever you are, Charlie, that's where I want to hang out too. :~)

    I'd much rather have one Belle and one Charlie to hang out with that a thousand (usually self-proclaimed) "cool" or "enlightened" people who lack compassion and humility. Thanks for being here!

    Dennis

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    United States Avalon Member write4change's Avatar
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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Both Bell's and Bil'ls Story

    The issues of mistakes is never ending. If reincarnation is the way of the universe, mistakes are both planned and part of the process. Learning is eternal and it appears that the Eternal broke into universes and dimensions to continue to learn it all which is always expanding. It is not just that the answers are always changing, the questions are always changing. If you know nothing, and don't know what you do not know, you can't even ask good questions.

    Who do you save and when and why? Knowing who I think Bill is--the even deeper process is that Bill could not have lived with himself if he made the other choice. He may not have known that then but he knows that now. What we are taught is that is it shameful to think thru almost anything. Most of the people on this site, I bet would have substantial savings for every time they were told, "You think too much." What I love is the deepening process of thought and seeing how it builds the character into someone like Bill. These are the people you trust.

    Bell, and such a good choice of name, see you are beautiful and part of you at least knows it. Bell those who choose to be born with defects for whatever reason come with a big purpose in front of their face. What if you were the two headed girl who is now fourteen. Two heads, two minds, a shared heart, and one womb. Who will love her and understand her and fulfill her? Who agreed to be such unique parents? Bell, you are already a miracle for a lifetime of celebration.

    In the early 70s, my first husband had me committed to a mental institution for not being content with a woman's role. Then that was classified as a mental illness just like being gay. He was also a doctor and my husband. So he had three legal reasons he could have me committed without due process. In fact, there were no patient rights then so there was no due process. So people like Frances Farmer could be lobotomized by their mother's judgment. I was one of the first dissolutions in California. I didn't want alimony, I just wanted him to pay me back for putting him through medical school and of course he wanted to pay nothing, not even child support if he could escape. Thus, I am in a mental institution until I consent or go crazy from being there.

    So who did I get for a therapist? A woman who had broke her neck skiing. She is in a huge wheelchair and attached to a respirator. She has some movement in one arm and can sort of write with this big metal attachment. Talking to someone who speaks with the mechanics of a respirator is unnerving when you have no experience with anything---I am 26. I am almost rendered speechless by this confrontation. I maybe in a pain but it is nothing to what I am confronted with. I wanted another therapist.

    So -- you -- would-- deny me --a life--a job--because---you cannot--face --- pain-----yours- or--anyone--else's.

    I have since done about 10 years of therapy with all kinds of different viewpoints and techniques--most of them worthless.

    But that therapy, everyday facing what is the reality of pain and being all you can be in any way you can be---has stayed with me all my life.

    After all this, I became a nurse. And as a nurse, I can tell you -- you have no idea how many lives you touched and in how many ways being so severely ill so young and so helpless. Many people asked many questions of themselves and each other.

    Go in peace, you have already served much in the process of lifting humanity.
    Last edited by write4change; 17th February 2011 at 22:54.
    Beware the axis of sanctimony.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Belle And Charlie Pecos,

    It seems to me that you may be socially dysfunctional only because you didn't learn the little social intrigues, games, and poses (poser behaviors) that constitutes what we know as social interactions. Social Engineering Those are little fronts and armors humans put up. That's where the lack of 'enlightenment' lives at.

    You are more appreciated for your authenticity and your honest from the self expression than any sort of cool behaviors could replace.

    One can swing a bat but it doesn't necessarily mean they are a player.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thank you for sharing that with us Bill. You are quite gifted with the story telling; I felt I was dangling on the rope there with you two. I am not sure what I would have done in that situation, but your story gives me strength. Maybe I will remember it at a time when it counts.

    It was interesting, and timely, reading your, Belle, and Charlie's stories. I woke up this morning feeling a deep pain in my heart - the one I have spent a lifetime avoiding. Not being able to remember a week in my childhood where I wasn't hit, beaten with a belt or verbally berated, I built a wall around my heart. This morning I was asking my heart to forgive me for building a barrier between my thinking self and my feeling self. Then I went to the computer and read these stories. I guess we all have different paths to the same heart.

    Reminds me of a forum member's signature: "Sometimes a person finds their destiny on the road they took to avoid it" The International.
    Last edited by Mystique; 17th February 2011 at 17:47.
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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Wow! Went to work for a few hours (like I said to Charlie, don't you hate it when work interferes with time spent here), came back and am overwhelmed with the love and support.

    We all have dark places within us where we try to hide our dysfunction, our hurts, our fears from the world. Only in such an aptly named and magical place called Avalon can we bare our deepest secrets and find love.

    Last edited by Belle; 18th February 2011 at 01:49. Reason: misspelling

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)

    "Bill, forgive yourself. You saved my life."

    Just read this post Bill, not a pleasant thing to admit to anyone, least of all your friend.

    What a wonderful reply he gave you.
    Never would have expected that, amazing!

    If it interests you, the signature I use is related to your story.

    I was in sales and marketing many years ago and there were many one-liners that could create enthusiasm and motivate people. i read hundreds of them.

    I came across a picture postcard, displaying a climber at the top of a snow covered mountain peak, with a beautiful scenic view behind him. He was standing there on his own and bending down to give a helping hand to his friend below. The message was written across the bottom of the picture...

    "There is no greater excercise for the Heart, than to reach down and lift others up"


    I have never seen a message which moves me as that one does.

    I tried to find the author when I got my first PC, but never did.

    Thanks for relating your story Bill.


    Best wishes,
    WhiteStar
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Last edited by WhiteStar; 17th February 2011 at 20:05.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Very inspiring!

    victor hugo wrote:

    Quote “In each age men of genius undertake the ascent. From below, the world follows them with their eyes. These men go up the mountain, enter the clouds, disappear, reappear, People watch them, mark them. They walk by the side of precipices. They daringly pursue their road. See them aloft, see them in the distance; they are but black specks. On they go. The road is uneven, its difficulties constant. At each step a wall, at each step a trap. As they rise the cold increases. They must make their ladder, cut the ice and walk on it., hewing the steps in haste. A storm is raging. Nevertheless they go forward in their madness. The air becomes difficult to breath. The abyss yawns below them. Some fall. Others stop and retrace their steps; there is a sad weariness. The bold ones continue. They are eyed by the eagles; the lightning plays about them: the hurricane is furious. No matter, they persevere.”
    and i say:
    if i were yours or his mother i would have killed you.

    Thanks for the exhilarating story! to climb a mountain,to fall from a mountain (in the dark hours of the night ),to have to make a crucial decision on your friend's life and act upon it,(and go grab a pizza when it all ends :) thats one hell of an experience that have probably had an effect on you for the rest of your life..

    Quote "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." ~Aldous Leonard Huxley
    Who knows Bill,maybe some of your good judgments of today come from that one experience when you climbed the sassolango with your friend Dave.

    Be blessed,

    Limor

    ===EDIT====

    To all the people and responsers on Belle and Charlie,i am greatfully humble at being at your presence.i get a great strength from your words and sharing your thoughts and feelings.i recognize myself in it as well.

    Love to you all
    Last edited by Limor; 17th February 2011 at 22:57.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    That's one hell of a cliffhanger story Bill, have you ever wondered looking back if you and your friend planned the event before ya'll were born?

    Great stories from others as well, makes me very happy to be one of the misfits here on the island of misfit toys.

    Love you all and Cheers,
    Fred S.

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    Smile Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Loved it Bill! But let me guess,you took off your hat for the picture because I always thought you were born with your hat.
    Last edited by scott12133; 17th February 2011 at 21:16. Reason: I wanted to make sure we all no it was ment to be funny

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thank you, your the type of fellow that you wouldn't mind sharing a foxhole with in the heat of battle.

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness



    To Belle,Charlie,Marie,Dennis,Write4change,Mystique and others that are very much like us. may i dedicate this to you..



    O.k ,


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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thank-you once again, Bill, for sharing another of your moments in time.
    "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." Unknown

    "Vision without action is merely a dream.
    Action without vision just passes the time.
    Vision with action can change the world." Joel Arthur Barker

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Namaste Dear Bill...
    Things in our world are never simply black or white. It is the grey areas that define our characters and where we get all the blessed and sometimes painful learning.

    Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us.
    -Di

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Charlie Pecos (here)
    Thank You for sharing your story Bill. It shows us all that we are, after all,only human and the choices we make are what counts.

    Belle,

    Thank you for sharing your story this morning. I have been feeling a little down, like I just don't fit here on the forum. Like maybe I just need to take my ball and go play by myself, just like I have had to do all my life, because I'm not "cool enough" to hang out with the other kids. I too am a little "socially disfunctional", I just always have been. I have always felt that I do not belong here on earth, and for the last year all I want to do is quit and go home. I struggle internally to keep on the path.

    I want to thank you for reminding me that there are indeed others like me here.
    God bless you and know that you are loved Belle.

    Charlie
    Charlie, that is the exact reason you fit in here, because you don't fit in.
    I have never been able to fit in anywhere in this life. Whatever group I was with, I either never felt like a ''real'' member, or I was on the fringe.
    I always ended up leaving for other pastures.
    I too don't want to be where I am, but I am stuck for now. Sometime in the past I was amongst the stars and now I am stuck here, whether by choice or not, I am not sure.
    But anyways, you will find you are in the majority here as we all present dissenting views on any and every subject you could think of, that puts us all into that group automatically.
    And don't think of running off anywheres, Lord Vader can find you no matter where you go.
    He will drag you back here, you know that, don't you?

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    what a story! and what an experience. Thanks for sharing that, fear and happiness all at the same time! good that you are still alive to tell the story.
    There is a reason why you are here with us Bill and vice versa.

    Cheers,

    seko

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    Default Re: A day in the mountains: a tale of forgiveness

    Thanks to Bill (and Richard) for sharing these very personal stories lately. I wish I had one as moving off the top of my head.

    Bill, I know you're an Englishman, but you look very Scottish in that old B&W photo you posted. Am I right?
    "I never gave a damn 'bout the meter man, 'til i was the man who had to read the meters, man." -- Mike Watt

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