Here and Now...What's Happening?

[Chinaski]

Posted by modwiz (here)
So, I am back from Oregon. A meaningful trip, but one that has left me raw on a few levels. Dealing with an actual flesh and blood branching of my own DNA was interesting and challenging. He and his mother are all pagan/wiccan but steeped in the same collective mind programming of any American. His mother believes the official story of 911 because she is an engineer and the report she read made sense to her. She also believes China poses a threat. Needless to say there is a serious culture clash there.

Anyway, back in the here and now it is difficult to find a conversation to enjoin. I will lurk until my normal tendencies to opine manifest. Energies are very low and a malaise is stuck to my energy field. Clearly, it is attached to some personal work that needs doing. My outer world is now lagging behind what my inner knowing is. Some of the actions may need to be major. Getting back into my tent towards the end of the month is my first order of business.

I think.

got an extra tent?

sometimes i just wish i had a cave and 10 years worth of foodstuffs. interacting with people in the real world frequently leaves me feeling drained, especially lately.

i'll be traveling west soon, too. Colorado. a wedding. along with the money i'll be spending that i don't really have, i have the added burden of being 'best man'. oh, which actually means i'll have to spend even more money that i don't really have cause i'll have to arrange the bachelor party, or at least something resembling one. i forgot to factor that into the budget. damn.

i'm trying not to be a downer about this, but i'm having little success. i have a feeling i'll have a much better time than i'm imagining, but until then i have every intention to remain stubbornly morose and despondent over the whole thing

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by ViralSpiral (here)




Irony, UK's cctv has it...

thanks for the new screen-saver, Viral!

[modwiz]

Posted by Chinaski (here)

Posted by modwiz (here)
So, I am back from Oregon. A meaningful trip, but one that has left me raw on a few levels. Dealing with an actual flesh and blood branching of my own DNA was interesting and challenging. He and his mother are all pagan/wiccan but steeped in the same collective mind programming of any American. His mother believes the official story of 911 because she is an engineer and the report she read made sense to her. She also believes China poses a threat. Needless to say there is a serious culture clash there.

Anyway, back in the here and now it is difficult to find a conversation to enjoin. I will lurk until my normal tendencies to opine manifest. Energies are very low and a malaise is stuck to my energy field. Clearly, it is attached to some personal work that needs doing. My outer world is now lagging behind what my inner knowing is. Some of the actions may need to be major. Getting back into my tent towards the end of the month is my first order of business.

I think.

got an extra tent?

sometimes i just wish i had a cave and 10 years worth of foodstuffs. interacting with people in the real world frequently leaves me feeling drained, especially lately.

i'll be traveling west soon, too. Colorado. a wedding. along with the money i'll be spending that i don't really have, i have the added burden of being 'best man'. oh, which actually means i'll have to spend even more money that i don't really have cause i'll have to arrange the bachelor party, or at least something resembling one. i forgot to factor that into the budget. damn.

i'm trying not to be a downer about this, but i'm having little success. i have a feeling i'll have a much better time than i'm imagining, but until then i have every intention to remain stubbornly morose and despondent over the whole thing

I am very careful about what I say yes to. I put off visiting my son for two years. I consented to a few long term commitments when he was given the all clear to be on the planet. My tent comes with three meals a day and a 30 amp electric hook-up. The food is all veggie too, my chosen diet. Life is very good overall. So good that I sulk during the little times it is not all my way. I have created my own reality that works for me. I have to step outside my comfort zone from time to time to interact with others in adjacent realities. Only complete hermits do not have to deal with this fact.

[Chinaski]

funnily enough, i haven't exactly said 'yes' to the wedding yet, though it's very likely i'll go. i haven't said 'no' either, but i'm wondering what'll be worse at this point: going, and dealing with the accompanying stress, or not going and dealing with the accompanying guilt

i'm giving myself another week to decide. somehow, my current mental state won't allow me a resolution on this. i'm gonna let the static settle for a week or so, and see how i feel then.

[astrid]

Chinaski,

It took me years and years to say no and not feel guilt.
But i certainly recommend working on this,
the sense of freedom that results is like nothing else.

Ultimately its about you anyways, I'm sure you know this,
its more to do with your feelings around the issue,
and getting better at processing them.
Guilt is a tricky one as it's programmed into us from
such a young age. Religion is a master at it.

Shame , guilt, self berating, it's like a whole garbage tip
gets thrown on us. There comes a time when life presents you
with experiences where you get to make a stand, and there is no rush.
Eventually you will say no and feel totally Ok about doing so.

Last wedding i went to, i knew it was for all the
wrong reasons. And sure enough within a year the bride ( a friend of mine)
was having an affair. But i guess there is no such thing as mistakes, its all just
experience and learning. I get frustrated as i can see the outcomes, but i have
to learn to just let people be and learn thier own lessons. That's one of my
lesser traits, i can be like a dragon in a china shop sometimes. Why i only move into
assist people if they are ready and willing to move on things.

Sadly to say for a lot of people, drama and illness has a function in their lives
and they actually don't want to be healthy. So i tend to work in a very narrow band
width as far as the living humans go. Then when they die they are all filled with remorse,
and don't cross over properly as they think they can somehow make amends by sticking around,
that's where 90% of my time is spent cleaning up. As the dead being with the living has all sorts
of side effects, for us, for them and for the planet.

An interesting fact about the dead that most don't know, they are the same as they
were when they were here. Someone with an attitude will still have an attitude.
Some of them are a down right pain in the arse.

Anyways.. i kind of majorly digressed here,
sorry about that. Tangents.

But on the wedding, personally i don't go to any social events unless
they are meaningful to me and have some sort of integrity surrounding them.
But that's me.. I'm a total hermit. Lucky the family knows i am strange, so they tend to
leave me alone.

[Chinaski]

thanks for that Astrid! i needed to hear that.

i'm getting better at saying 'no', though i'm not all the way there yet.

the family knows i'm strange too, and when i'm not feeling like a freak because of it, i like to use it to my advantage ha! ha! maybe i'll do that here.

[1inMany]

I know what you mean, Modwiz...I sent my (grown) niece something about how funky the energies are lately, and she sent me back not one, but THREE Emails about how special Jesus is to her. **sigh** Forced interaction...why did I send her the little chuckle in the first place? So, I could have left well enough alone. But, ooohhhh noooooo, I started the mess, so I had to see it through. Wasted a whole day trying to ignore the fact that the Jesus EmailS were bothering me, that she completely missed what I was saying. I finally had to sit down and clear up some stuff knowing that was the only way to shake off the ick. So, for what it's worth, Chinaski, I hate being between a rock and a hard place, too!

Oh, what in the hell is going on? Do I need to sage again...is that it? Why can I not shake this. Today, I felt very weak and shaky...physical shakes. I can report that I have a clean bill of health from my doc, so all six vials of blood were healthy Knowing that, I can only surmise that I am perfectly healthy with a touch of an 8-day migraine (is it 8 days now?), fried-ness going on a week or two...no solar flares that I see...

Damn, I'd like to go back to all those 11:11s, and the spirals in the sky, and knowing everything was good.

Fake it til you make it?

Much Love,

[astrid]

Yes EXACTLY.. the more we can be left alone and work in stealth mode,
the more we can get done. Being " strange" is one way to do that,
it tends to work pretty well.

[Carmody]

Posted by Chinaski (here)
funnily enough, i haven't exactly said 'yes' to the wedding yet, though it's very likely i'll go. i haven't said 'no' either, but i'm wondering what'll be worse at this point: going, and dealing with the accompanying stress, or not going and dealing with the accompanying guilt

i'm giving myself another week to decide. somehow, my current mental state won't allow me a resolution on this. i'm gonna let the static settle for a week or so, and see how i feel then.

4 days from now, things will be much more clear. We are hitting the end of a mercury retrograde, so befuddlement for the next few days, mostly the next 2-2.5 days, is very much the 'norm'. The morose parts can be connected to the mental befuddlement.

It's 'complicated unknowing percolator' time, for the collective and individual consciousness of humanity. There are a couple of other alignments that have just passed which are not helping much.

[Chinaski]

Posted by astrid (here)
Yes EXACTLY.. the more we can be left alone and work in stealth mode,
the more we can get done. Being " strange" is one way to do that,
it tends to work pretty well.

the more alone i am, the more energy i have. sometimes, if i can do it, i just shut the shades for days and don't do a damn thing. i come out of this feeling wonderful -- it charges me up for months.

@1inmany: you see the consecutive number arrangements too? (ie 111,222 etc...) they're usually portents of doom for me, so you can keep 'em!

[astrid]

Yes and you know that was a BIG breakthrough me,
having been previously the relationship QUEEN.
To be totally blissfully happy and alone in the
human paired up sense
is really is something when you get there.

[1inMany]

@1inmany: you see the consecutive number arrangements too? (ie 111,222 etc...) they're usually portents of doom for me, so you can keep 'em!

lol, nope. I'm new to seeing the 11:11s, and it's so fun! After your experience with those consecutives, no thanks...enough ick here lol...

Much Love,

[astrid]

Actually i think I'm both getting more "strange" and more effective.

The last few weeks i have been working fairly closely with trees,
amazing teachers, and suburb at transmuting energies.
So yeah, in 3D terms, i would be currently falling under the banner of
one or a numerous list of psychiatric labels.

Yet another reason why stealth is so important to master.

[Chinaski]

Posted by astrid (here)
Actually i think I'm both getting more "strange" and more effective.

The last few weeks i have been working fairly closely with trees,
amazing teachers, and suburb at transmuting energies.
So yeah, in 3D terms, i would be currently falling under the banner of
one or a numerous list of psychiatric labels.

Yet another reason why stealth is so important to master.

the word 'strange' has negative connotations for many, but not me. the stranger, the better -- for the most part anyway.

i use other people's opinions as a barometer in that sense -- if someone is reminding me how strange or weird i am, i know i'm more than likely on the right track. 'strange' is a cop-out 3d expression, an umbrella term used mainly by the spiritually ignorant to describe something that threatens their sheltered worldview.

[astrid]

Agreed, that why i said "strange" as opposed to strange

[Chinaski]

Posted by astrid (here)
Agreed, that why i said "strange" as opposed to strange

gotcha

i know *you* get it Astrid -- i was just speaking in generalities.

from here on out: "strange"=good.........strange=bad.

[Dennis Leahy]

I am the 279,621st person to open this thread. Yay!

Dennis

edit: it was 10:10 on my digital clock.

[christian]

Just finished looking at lots of cat-content from "theories of the deep understanding of things"...













Weird things happen all the time...

[astrid]

I guess everyone has different reasons for being here.

But personally I'm confused, why would anyone would leave because

My posts don’t get enough “thanks”

shaking head.....

[ViralSpiral]

Posted by astrid (here)
I guess everyone has a different reason for being here,
personally in confused though, why anyone would leave because

My posts don’t get enough “thanks”

shaking head.....

From Tom's report: Mercury & Mars retrograde as well as the T- square - security. Earthly, emotional, and inner security. We need to stay the course....

I actually feel for lost souls. The maze is making people very dizzy!

[ViralSpiral]

and this one is for Christian (for that hideous horse-play )