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Thread: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

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    United States Avalon Member kathymarie's Avatar
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    Default Let's put this thread to rest:I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    I have very much enjoyed my time here at Avalon...especially making new friends....you know who you are....and finding information from those I believed to be like-minded. It's very hard, as many of you well know, to feel as if you are out of step with those around you. My immediate circle of friends and family think my ideas about the truth of reality are 'crazy'. They don't believe in conspiracies and only see God, government and church as pillars of truth and the cornerstones of civilization. I try to chip, chip,chip away but usually feel I'm wasting my time. That's why I blessed the day I found Avalon.

    ...but I don't think I'm a good fit here so I'm taking some time away to consider this...life's too short not to make the most of each moment.

    Blessings, love and light to all of you.

    ...Thursday..Sept. 22....I wish to say a few things....then let's put this thread to rest.
    I would never leave a company of friends....real, virtual,whatever.....without saying "goodbye". I thought saying that in a thread would be better than sending a bunch of pm's to my friends here as well as others whom I have come to appreciate and respect. There was no other motive. I am surprised by the number of responses....and a bit embarrassed, as well. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words...even any that read to me pretty much as "ta-ta and don't let the door hit your backside on the way out"....

    The problem for me is not in the daily, incessant "chipping"....nor is it anything to do with Avalon. I, like others, have baggage that I thought I had dealt with ages ago. Just in the last few days I've had comments and posts that stirred up feelings inside me that are unwelcome and well, just not me. But of course, they are a part of me....else I would not be feeling them. I'm not going to bore you with personal details . We all have our own stories, with past drama, abuses, hurts and wrongs. I honestly thought I had put all behind me....I thought I had done the requisite forgive and forget. I have enjoyed a fair amount of success in life and believed living joyously was indeed the best revenge...and I use that word in the loosest sense.

    Someone here made a comment recently, innocuous enough, that sent me reeling for days. Not from what they said----their voice....but from a voice from my past. Suddenly I was a vulnerable 6 year old again....or 16 year old...doesn't matter. It has taken my adult life and physical separation from that part of my past to rid myself of it....only to find I haven't dealt with it and the most foolish of comments brings it to the surface again.

    The "good fit" part means that sometimes posts seem not to hold love as the standard by which they are written. I've said in other posts I'm kind of naive. It's always a shock to my system when I read something that comes across as mean-spirited and unkind, short-sighted or premature. I usually just ignore such words but this week I've found myself angry, pi**ed off, & wanted to fire off a blistering retort. One of the things I put behind me was cutting with my words. I don't like feeling this way. More work I need to do...I know.

    Thank you so much again for your kind words....any others I'm just going to ignore. I'm taking a couple of weeks away from Avalon....from the computer in general....for meditation, soul-searching and deep digging.

    As I said earlier, except for making a few responses to some of the below posts....let's put this to rest.

    blessings....
    Last edited by kathymarie; 22nd September 2011 at 19:42.
    [FONT="Impact"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]kathymarie

    The mind is like a parachute--it works best when open.

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    Avalon Member Jake's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    You are a perfect fit! Perhaps you should simply take a break. Your awakening is inevitable,,, no matter where you travel... Love always... Jake.
    Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Yoda....

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    kathymarie, i hope you reconsider. there is so much to learn yet. and i know that you have many good threads inside waiting to come out. please let me know if i can help in anyway.
    warmest regards, corson

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    Scotland Avalon Member aranuk's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Quote Posted by kathymarie (here)
    I have very much enjoyed my time here at Avalon...especially making new friends....you know who you are....and finding information from those I believed to be like-minded. It's very hard, as many of you well know, to feel as if you are out of step with those around you. My immediate circle of friends and family think my ideas about the truth of reality are 'crazy'. They don't believe in conspiracies and only see God, government and church as pillars of truth and the cornerstones of civilization. I try to chip, chip,chip away but usually feel I'm wasting my time. That's why I blessed the day I found Avalon.


    ...but I don't think I'm a good fit here so I'm taking some time away to consider this...life's too short not to make the most of each moment.

    Blessings, love and light to all of you.
    Kathy Nah Stay. You're a great fit here! As much as anyone.


    Stan
    If you don't follow your spirit without hesitation, you end up following your hesitation without spirit.

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    I agree with Jake.
    In my view you fit like one of those rocks in an ancient pyramid.
    You are just having one of those Cap attacks of not feeling quite right...
    Nothing to do with Avalon, but life on this planet itself and the way time flies....
    Now go and rethink what you just posted.
    Rise up to a bird's eye view of things...

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    I don't always think I am a good fit here either. I think perhaps it is that I don't have the time to really get to know the people. However, that is my fault and not the site.

    What I decided is that I will read what interests me and ignore the other. I came here looking for interesting and useful information that I may not find elsewhere. Some information I resonate with and some I do not. Often times (and many times in the not so distant past) I almost closed my membership due to the infighting and bickering. As you can see...I still am here. Taking what I need and leaving the rest for others.

    I hope you find what you are looking for! It may be from others or as close as your heart!

    Peace be with you,
    Pam

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    Wales Avalon Member Lisab's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Hope you change your mind Kathymarie. None us here probably really 'fit' and thats why we fit here!! Love and light Lisa xx

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Hi KathyMarie... I respect your choice... I find myself needing a break every now and again... but I come back!

    Blessings where ever you find yourself!
    ~a pebble in the water makes a ripple effect,
    every action in this world will bear a consequence...
    if you wade around forever you will surely drown.... ~ RJA

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Quote Posted by Lisab (here)
    Hope you change your mind Kathymarie. None us here probably really 'fit' and thats why we fit here!! Love and light Lisa xx
    this....


    As Jake said too:- no matter where you travel...
    And Ulli:- life on this planet itself and the way time flies....


    Things are very confusing right now, and we need to surround ourselves with ilk.

    Stay
    .... be gentle with your anger. Sixto Rodriguez, Cape Town 20.02.2013

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    United States Moderator Marianne's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Quote Posted by Lisab (here)
    Hope you change your mind Kathymarie. None us here probably really 'fit' and thats why we fit here!! Love and light Lisa xx
    I agree wholeheartedly with Lisab -- I don't really fit here either, I'm not brilliant or even smart like so many here. I don't have a gift for expressing myself. But I love being here nonetheless, because there is love and positivity and laughter...there's other stuff here too, fear creeping in, and sometimes anger, but we can all hang together and get over that.

    I remember staying at a girl's summer camp in Vermont, as an adult, where they devoted the last two weeks of the season to 'family camp'. The woman who ran it was a wise woman indeed. I liked to sit around her kitchen table and help her with the garden vegetables (she showed me how to braid onions) and talk to her. One little gem she gave me was that the kids who came and stayed only 2-3 weeks missed out on wonderful relationships, because the first little while was spent coming to terms with each other, feeling out of kilter and all. After the first little while, things got sorted out and kids learned how to be together, and formed long lasting bonds.

    I hope you stay.

    All love,
    Marianne

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Like most people here, I will please ask you to reconsider because you are part of the changes that are happening here for all of us.

    You are part of the"big plan"whether you think you fit or not, but none of us fit in the reality we have been led to believe, but a new one will be born and this forum and the universe will always need you.

    You are not different to anybody else, you "woke up" from a long sleep by joining Avalon and this is the smartest of move I shall say
    A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love and your life has already changed for the best.

    In love and light always
    I have seen life on this planet, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Dear Kathy,
    Mind is like a parachute...it is best when it is open. Extremely wise words. You fit here and will be much supported.

    Love
    Tony

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    KathyMarie, I remember reading Project Camelot way before Avalon was started, I remember feeling so overjoyed and overwhelmed that I finally found the big piece to
    the puzzle to start leaping forward and connect the dots if you will. Along with that came wanting to tell everyone some of the truths that they should know, then the
    realization set in that many think your nuts, and so your bubble that just blew up slowly deflates and then reality sets in. Your here for a reason , a special reason and
    a common question asked to like minded avalons that we've probably all heard is "Do you know?" . Not many can resonate with that question as you don't have all the answers
    but indeed are on the right path. One thing you are learning now is that it is very difficult to change direction of people's beliefs or thought processes, basically your rocking
    their world and comfort level and to them everything is just fine the way it is. Only thing is the way it is isn't going to be here in the next 2 years, it's coming for a change big time.
    Just recognize your on the cusp of where many should be or will be going, your ahead of the curve and when you see that tiny window of curiosity of someone taking
    interest in your thoughts plant a small seed and let it sit there for a while. Help those and bond with those that are looking and most of all , fear doesn't exist.
    Stay with your family and friends in public but in private educate yourself here, here are many talented and gifted individuals from all over this world, How cool is that.
    Here is where you learn to stay grounded and centered and when things get out of hand you'll be the calmest one in the group making rational decisions without fear
    because you do know !!!!!!!!!!!! Stay the Path young lady , the longer your on it , the better you feel.

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    KathyMarie,
    I don't presume to know how you feel but I was at that point a while back. I wanted to run, that's what I do...
    The scars of that time are still evident on my profile page - erased messages.
    Take some time, read the posts here - and see that you are loved.
    You do fit here! As do I...
    Love,
    Ernie
    Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water...Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. Bruce Lee

    Free will can only be as free as the mind that conceives it.

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    KathieMarie, Just STAY. Don't give up. You're doing fine here.

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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Kathymarie- I hope so much you will reconsider and stay here. Yours is the voice of reason and careful thinking and we need people like you so badly. Your contributions are appreciated by myself and others and you are a "perfect fit" here.

    Love,
    Goldie

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    Avalon Member norman's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Your formality of either being here or not being here intrigues me a little.

    My own relationship with this forum is more casual. I often wander off when I'm bored or upset. I don't slam the door behind me and I know I can return when I want.

    Now, if someone changed the locks while I was out, that would be another matter.

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    Germany Avalon Member christian's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    It's understandable to leave with saying goodbye, it shows that you got some manners, but you can get here anytime you wish, if you feel like reading or writing, do so, if you feel like doing something else, do something else. Go for whatever makes you happy, do some travelling, if you're inclined to do so, but I'd appreciate you posting updates on it.

    You cannot make others 'see', if they don't want. Think about, whoever will be the first one among your friends and relatives, who will respect and ponder your views, will be afraid of being met with the same kind of ridicule etc. that you experience.

    What I read between the lines is - correct me, if I'm wrong - you feel uncomfortable within your circle of friends and relatives and thus want to 'take the blue pill'. To try this is an option... Once you know, you can never go back, they say, yet most of us are born without the knowledge they had prior, so it kind of works sometimes.

    I prayed for the gift of intuitive insights to know whether something important is true or not immediately. Then one day, when I first read about David Icke's claim about the 'fake moon' etc. I immediately knew that he's right on that. Yet, I decided to tell the story to a somewhat sceptical friend in a tone, as if would ridicule it, as if I wouldn't believe it either, because I'm well aware of how outrageous it appears. I was pretty calm, nothing special about my body or mind in that moment when I told him, yet my nose started bleeding seconds after that. Don't mess around with the gifts that you got, is how I understand that, with great power comes great responsibility.

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    Switzerland Avalon Member centreoflight's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    Just read your blog and its comments. i also feel somehow where am i. do i belong here? i like to break the ice and share a few thoughts:

    Neo realized that he had to fight Smith. The Agent had no power over him! Now we as humanity have to understand that the Agent is called Money. Money is a strong Energy created by our masters to enslave us. The time to stand up against this Black Sticky Monster is now. It is ridiculous how the monetary supply is organized. There is an oligarchy which is looting humanity and we are looking while it is happening. We need to stand up and speak our truth. WAKE UP. It is time to take responsibility for our lives. What do we want? I leave it here and repeat ALL IS LOVE, THERE IS NOTHING WHICH IS NOT LOVE.
    Om Namo Narayana – Salemalekum, Om Shanti, Shanti Om

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    Scotland Moderator Billy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'll say "goodbye"....

    If it is not broken Kathymarie, There is no need to fix it. Just take time out, there is no need to leave

    Bless you

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