Seeking serious advice on will (to create)

[TraineeHuman]

NeverMind, here are some more suggestions or remarks about helping a person strengthen their self-esteem. As I see it, to do precisely this daily is probably the most essential thing by far that a spouse or partner should be doing. As I understand it, it’s also very important in creating and maintaining a good quality friendship, and also good parenting, and also good teamwork and also good supervision in any work situation.

Let me start by describing a lesson one of my past spiritual teachers once gave – and was then forever talking about. He found a kitten that had probably been abused, and was certainly terrified of people. He also got a full set of encyclopedia volumes and put them all on a boardroom table. Then he put the kitten at one end of the books. It immediately found a “cave” somewhere in the gaps between the volumes and tried to hide. He placed a finger close to the kitten, artificially created a sensation of fear, then quickly pulled his finger away from the kitten. He did that a few times. Soon the kitten got the message that there was some fairly strong fear that the kitten could sense and that fear wasn’t its own, so it had to belong to somebody else. Not only that, but the kitten soon deduced that it itself must be very scary as far as that finger, and even the person attached to that finger, was concerned. In this way, after ten minutes or so the kitten had turned into a tiger. It became convinced that it could successfully attack any human, despite being less than one twentieth the size. It became a damn nuisance, because it wouldn’t give up, and those claws are quite sharp and quite strong.

That demonstration is a kind of template for how to empower a person to have greater self-esteem. Almost every spiritual teacher I’ve had has used it, extensively. I always use it in any counselling work I do. In a way you could say it seems dishonest. I mean, young kittens don’t really have the strength to capture and control adult humans. However, the way to use it is to be very observant – if not creative—and become aware of genuine strengths that the person you are trying to help has. Then you make sure you validate their concrete demonstration of one of those strengths or abilities immediately after it happens – at least once a day, or on each occasion when you see them. The psychologist Carl Rogers sometimes referred to this as “prizing” the person, i.e., expressing why they are so valuable and important and strong and even unique. Even though your friend may not be enthusiastic if you “prize” her for her healing abilities, there are obviously many other qualities she has. For instance, being a natural psychic healer myself, I happen to know that any such healer always has strong psychic abilities (clairvoyance, telepathy, etc) as well – but may not know it.

I could go on for pages about the method of building a person’s self-esteem through genuine appreciation and through compliments which identify genuine, real, specific potentials or already existing qualities of that person. This is known as “person-centred psychology”. The term “strengths approach” also covers at least parts of it. You mentioned your hope that ideally there was some “miracle cure” for your friend. Well, in fields such as nursing and social work and allied health, the person-centred approach has been taking over quite a lot as the preferred approach over the last decade. This followed the discovery that it works more tangibly and quickly than behaviour modification (or cognitive behaviour modification), which used to be the preferred approach in those fields for some decades until recently. (Carl Rogers also proved that it is also the basis of most ancient Eastern psychotherapy and of humanistic and existential psychotherapy, but I guess you’re not concerned with the theoretical foundations.)

[NeverMind]

Not really an update. I simply wanted to say that I have most certainly not forgotten about this thread, far from it, and I am genuinely thankful for all the responses.
There have been very interesting developments - the "weirdness" seems to be returning (if ever so slowly), which in this case is a good thing. :) - but I couldn't possibly discuss them right now.
First of all, it involves another person; and secondly, words have a way of destroying everything they touch, even from afar. At least in my experience they do.

So, for now... THANK YOU. :)


P.S. (off topic): I LOVE your nickname, TraineeHuman. :)

[eaglespirit]

Beautiful Thread...
I can only add...
look in the mirror and say....... "I Love You"...bring the empathy upon You!

[Anchor]

Great thread, I seem to have missed this when it first came round.

Consider those professionals who call themselves creators, the creative writers.

They are a great analogy for this situation - especially when they get writers block.

I would offer the opinion that she has not been "sucked dry" or "sapped" because the resources we are dealing with are infinite.

She is like the cartoon character that runs over the cliff edge, but only falls once they have looked down!

Crisis of faith is a common problem is it not?

You don't reason with this, how can one reason with faith?

It will pass in time. Not much you can do to help, except what you are doing...

[EileenCookies]

Nevermind, I quickly read through your original posting here on this thread and you are asking for advice for another. This isn't helpful. They need to ask source for help. Your asking is only a sign of their fixation.

If you have questions for yourself, then you can receive those answers (if willing to receive them). If you asked me why you were not the person you recall yourself as being, I would say, "get here". You are dwelling in the past. You can not do anything in the past as it is only an idea. YOu can move from now (if you become really present with yourself here and in this moment).
helpful?

eileen (spiritual helper)

[LucidVisions]

When the old ways don't work for us, as they once did, it can be very devastating. When she gets through the rut, she will be stronger than before. A road trip to a sacred site may be in order, sometime an instant realignment can release the blocks. The book Many Lives, Many Masters is a very good antidote for remembering that all is well and that we have chosen every life lesson that we need to evolve. After reading Brian Weiss's first book, my husband's usual bothers did not phase me at all, LOL, I would just look at him and tell him how much I loved him and was thankful for his being in my life. OSHA Root and Maldive are very good for curing a broken spirit. Many blessings and much light to you and her.

[CdnSirian]

I hope all of the above posts help, because they all offer excellent ideas. I have done Reiki healing, with reported successes, and a lot of praying for people with results. I also have studied a great deal about nutrition and cannot underestimate the effects of balanced hormones and -- endless other factors-- and more recently have discovered newly, that a B6 deficiency and hypoglycemia, or leaky gut syndrome, can undermine anyone's brilliance.

I have come close to death a couple of times myself, and all I can say, is look to nutrition where possible. I absolutely know your friend can recover her brilliance. I also know as a healer, when your body is lacking, you cannot do it, and the glasses you see the world, but more importantly, yourself, through,are very dark indeed.

Power to you both!

[Sidney]

Hi Nevermind, I believe the first time around, I had posted to just let it ride its course, which I still stand by tht advice, however, when reading your posting again, it hit me, sort of ironic, that Ibelieve MY will is holding me back as well. As I have never been able to "properly" grieve for the horrendous things that have happened to me. It seems every thing I do, before I take action,my subconcious is stillstuck in this "no,look at me,deal with me,cry me out" sort of mode.,which distracts me, and take the energy away from what it was that I was about to do and forces me to focus on the(baggage) subconciously, and slowing me down. (confusing I know),, I didn;t know this until just now,

It is profound that your lovely thread, has helped me to figure a way to heal my hurts, and I believe my acquiring this epiphany, may help your friend as well. Perhaps, she has not properly allowed herself to grieve, and put away the baggage, as the trip can be over now, so to speak.

I am not certain exactly how to go about doing this grief process, but I realize just now that I cannot sweep it under the rug any longer. And It may have something to do with "letting god" and "letting go", from within ourself. Really is profound. You may tell your friend, that from this, I received a gift . Thank You

[Anchor]

Posted by starchild111 (here)
It is profound that your lovely thread, has helped me to figure a way to heal my hurts, and I believe my acquiring this epiphany, may help your friend as well. Perhaps, she has not properly allowed herself to grieve, and put away the baggage, as the trip can be over now, so to speak.

I am not certain exactly how to go about doing this grief process, but I realize just now that I cannot sweep it under the rug any longer. And It may have something to do with "letting god" and "letting go", from within ourself. Really is profound. You may tell your friend, that from this, I received a gift . Thank You

I love reading these kinds of posts.

Would you describe your revelation as something to do with faith? .... faith in yourself?

[Sidney]

Posted by Anchor (here)

Posted by starchild111 (here)
It is profound that your lovely thread, has helped me to figure a way to heal my hurts, and I believe my acquiring this epiphany, may help your friend as well. Perhaps, she has not properly allowed herself to grieve, and put away the baggage, as the trip can be over now, so to speak.

I am not certain exactly how to go about doing this grief process, but I realize just now that I cannot sweep it under the rug any longer. And It may have something to do with "letting god" and "letting go", from within ourself. Really is profound. You may tell your friend, that from this, I received a gift . Thank You

I love reading these kinds of posts.

Would you describe your revelation as something to do with faith? .... faith in yourself?

Simply put, I've been too busy to go back and deal with the grief. So I am going to make it a point to meditate more each day, and focus on forgiveness., and letting go of anger, and stop feeling sorry for myself so I can better live my life. Letting go, I would compare to setting a caged bird (or several) free.

[Eagle]

Posted by starchild111 (here)

Posted by Anchor (here)

Posted by starchild111 (here)
It is profound that your lovely thread, has helped me to figure a way to heal my hurts, and I believe my acquiring this epiphany, may help your friend as well. Perhaps, she has not properly allowed herself to grieve, and put away the baggage, as the trip can be over now, so to speak.

I am not certain exactly how to go about doing this grief process, but I realize just now that I cannot sweep it under the rug any longer. And It may have something to do with "letting god" and "letting go", from within ourself. Really is profound. You may tell your friend, that from this, I received a gift . Thank You

I love reading these kinds of posts.

Would you describe your revelation as something to do with faith? .... faith in yourself?

Simply put, I've been too busy to go back and deal with the grief. So I am going to make it a point to meditate more each day, and focus on forgiveness., and letting go of anger, and stop feeling sorry for myself so I can better live my life. Letting go, I would compare to setting a caged bird (or several) free.

You have got it Star, Forgive yourself and others is an important step