Losing Hope, And distaste for Human Life.

[seantimberwolf]

Hi guys, i never post as much as i probably should.
But over the past 2 months i have lost all taste for hope, but most importantly i have lost all love and care for humans.
This may sound strange but i'm finding it hard to look upon people with anything other than distaste and, anger.
I know i should not feel this way and people can throw "love and light" at me all day.
But fact is for some reason almost over night i have become completely detached.
My job is in retail, and i have always been able to be approachable to people of all types, its been what has made me successful.
But i cannot care anymore, i hope people don't think ill off me, but i cannot help it.
I want to know why this has happened, has anyone else gone through this?
Sometimes i find myself (Odin forgive me for saying this) wishing all the degenerate idiots of society would just die, or just not exist so the whole human race can move on, I know that may sound extreme but i cant help feel it, i wish no ill harm on others but its the way i have been feeling recently, i welcome any help on this.
And if anyone feels like being angry towards me, save your breath i honestly don't care, im on hear to seek advice, and get ahead of this before its too far gone.

Thanks guys, i hope i can get over this.
Sean

[Eagle]

I think it is in a way a clensing of all the anger that has been projected to you by people in general. you are feeling what they are but it isnt you. as things begin to progress more and more you will see just about everyone go through this. you will have ups and downs as most of us here has had lately. ride it out get rid of the anger and send it back to them with love.

[Forevernyt]

Well, your first cause of this feeling is WORKING IN RETAIL!

I've been there done that and oh what a distaste it put in my mouth for my fellow man. Not all, but most.
You're probably a very intelligent person. I'm guess that you're frustrated, as we all are, with how society is going. Down the crapper. I think you're feelings are natural and not unwarranted.

I also think it is a phase that you must go through, in order for self growth. Work from within yourself. Nothing else really truly matters. You have to live within you. You deal with the consequences of your choices, no one else. You have to look at you in the mirror every day.

Figure out what you want and what makes you happy, then go about trying to do that. You might find your feelings change soon after.

Just my opinion. I wish you well.

[RedeZra]

Posted by seantimberwolf (here)
Sometimes i find myself (Odin forgive me for saying this) wishing all the degenerate idiots of society would just die, or just not exist so the whole human race can move on

i've had enough of evil too and so has God

enough is enough

the end of evil

[Tarka the Duck]

Thank you so much for your honesty, Wolf. I have absolutely no idea what to say at this moment - and I certainly don't want to make a glib response...but I wanted to write that I really appreciate what you have said, and would like the chance to reflect on it.
Much love
Kathie

[Dawn]

Great job! Most people refuse to experience all the 'not nice' energies they have stored in their various bodies. Usually any energy being released is 'felt' as it is on its way out. This is often referred to as 'integrating your shadow'. I have been through lots of it. You cannot 'go to the next level' of depth until you are willing to release (which means you will feel it) the energetic blocks that are in the way.

Here is a little first aid for you. It just helped me move some grief that I have been experiencing. And it is really FAST! Just 8 minutes. I found it in a thread here on Avalon. You will feel better after you listen to it. Oh... you will need headphones or it will not work for you.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=9P_hgfiSmLM

[Lettherebelight]

Wow, seantimberwolf. Retail has got to be one of the most difficult positions for an advanced thinking person to be in. It is indeed no wonder you are thinking 'what is the point?', etc. especially when faced with...

a) people whose motives are profit orientated.(colleagues)
b) people who are absorbed in the acquisition of goods that are often unnecessary and manufactured at the expense of others. (customers)

It sounds like you are at one of those 'key moments', before the turning of the tide. Remember, wild one, the dawn is always preceded by the darkest hour.

You will prevail in a way that will surprise even yourself. Whatever decisions you make now, remain true to your core principles...they'll always see you all right.

Best wishes, Vraja

I really dig that avatar..

[58andfixed]

Please, be easy on yourself.

You are entering a stage of change.

Yes, I am projecting that it has to do with a change in your awareness, however you were following a engineered system. Public schools, MSM, how people behave in 'herds,' etc...

To think different IS different.

It's like a process of being 'born.'

Anger, resentment & detachment are easy emotions to become overwhelmed by.

Here's some hints that may help. I've seen plenty more from very loving, caring, professional and experience people here at PA -- so I'm sure this thread will load up on many more helpful bits of information.

May one of them guide you to a sense of peace, where solution can be found.

"Model of Behavior Change"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_model



Stage !:

"Precontemplators typically underestimate the pros of changing, overestimate the cons, and often are not aware of making such mistakes. These individuals are encouraged to become more mindful of their decision making and more conscious of the multiple benefits of changing an unhealthy behavior."

****

Get your feet onto grass, hug a kitten or a puppy, find a tree, lie down on the ground and look up at the sky --- stay there until the stars come out, even if they seem foggy from the city lights.

- 58

[pyrangello]

Hey Timberwolf, My girlfriends niece who I visited in the hospital this past weekend past away last night as she just turned 40. Her heart just wasn't the kind that was going to keep her going here on earth in the physical realm.

Yes there is a shift in attitudes and peoples ways right now, the earth is doing the same. Working in retail is a gifted talent and sometimes it's a nightmare. The key for you my friend is knowing when to tune in and tune out. You take charge of yourself and not let your Ego control you. Everytime you get frustrated just sit yourself down and tell your Ego to stop it, your in charge. And if you need a breather from everything then indeed do that.

I run a business and I'm almost 50 now. There are about 3-4 times a year I need to just park it for the weekend and just sleep the entire weekend. So I force myself and then get re-charged and then I'm back at it again. These earth shifts , magnetics, and energy waves are effecting me as well too and sometimes I have to have a sit down one on one with myself. As I get myself back to center then I realize it's really not that bad, it just seemed like it was for a moment. Kind of like the time I was mountain climbing, got to a point where I was scared to come down as all I really needed to do was sit down for a while. It does sound easier than it is, but if you practice enough it will get easier.

Granted there are some that are so dense in the term that they are just consuming air here on earth, but allowing them to change your thought process turns you into them and I refuse for that to happen to me, I am just a little more guarded as to who I let into my circle now as I am still as compassionate as I use to be just more guarded. This past weekend reminded me of just how short our time is here and how precious our time is here for those that appreciate every kind gesture that we may display. Yes I have gone thru what your experiencing and when I did I kept telling myself "one day it's going to get better, I have no idea when but it will as I am sure of it" and you know what, it did !

[seantimberwolf]

Posted by Lettherebelight (here)
Wow, seantimberwolf. Retail has got to be one of the most difficult positions for an advanced thinking person to be in. It is indeed no wonder you are thinking 'what is the point?', etc. especially when faced with...

a) people whose motives are profit orientated.(colleagues)
b) people who are absorbed in the acquisition of goods that are often unnecessary and manufactured at the expense of others. (customers)

It sounds like you are at one of those 'key moments', before the turning of the tide. Remember, wild one, the dawn is always preceded by the darkest hour.

You will prevail in a way that will surprise even yourself. Whatever decisions you make now, remain true to your core principles...they'll always see you all right.

Best wishes, Vraja

I really dig that avatar..

Thanks Vraja, Its hard working in retail every f*****g day i have to listen to people who i hate talk about sales, figures, projections, false staff care etc etc, its grinding me down,
I mean really grinding me down, i started working at 15, i have done labor jobs since then, and im self educated to a very high degree.
The problem is even if i wanted to change direction its very very hard in today's society. especially for someone with no qualifications except life lol.
I was thinking of going to Australia to work farms and ranch's i love the outdoors and have a passion for simple hard honest work, maybe through necessity.
Its like i was born in the wrong time, i went to a physic in January who told me i had countless incarnations on earth, and have not had hardly any in modern day.
So i would find it hard to fit in.
People lack honor and pride, its like the way of the warrior is lost, people are like ants around gum,
Instead of fighting for what is right in the soul we allow monsters to walk the earth in the guise of pedophiles and child killers and rapists.
But where told they have "human" rights, its sickening.
We rush around to buy products that we never have and never will require, instead of learning things we buy the knowledge we seek, what happened to us.
How can i love fellow man when most of the human race hate each other for no other reason but being different, or a technicality on what is ultimately the same religion !

[Fred Steeves]

Posted by seantimberwolf (here)
Sometimes i find myself (Odin forgive me for saying this) wishing all the degenerate idiots of society would just die, or just not exist so the whole human race can move on, I know that may sound extreme but i cant help feel it, i wish no ill harm on others but its the way i have been feeling recently, i welcome any help on this.

Hi Sean, having been where you are, only in a different way and much later in life, my advice to you would be to ride out brother. Don't TRY to do ANYTHING, simply intend for the best possible outcome for all concerned, let it go, and let the four winds blow.

It may well take you to a very dark place for a time, but you'll get through it, and you'll be o.k. In time you'll begin to look back on it as a very positive and necessary experience, and if you're like me, you'll be grateful for it.

Be the warrior with soft eyes, and trust.

Cheers,
Fred

[Ian Gordon]

Well put Fred, and good advice, what I would add is Seantimberwolf is be prepared to play the long game, anything is possible, look for the signs and follow your heart.
I was once in retail and playing the corporate game so I understand the place you are at. With me the universe had to bash me a few times before I listened, retail is hard once you realise that you no longer care and dont want to play the game, so dont take as long as me !!!
what happened with me I was given a life lesson by been in a car accident which according to western medicine meant I wouldnt work again. Been stubbon I investigated alternative medice (although my mindset was it was all BS) to my horror an acupuncturist and a chiropractor put me right (and opened my eyes to the alternative message) from then I worked and studied and used my holiday and full sick leave to escape and become an alternative therapist, it took four years. But without the accident I hate to think of the place I would have been. Seantimberwolf, you have found Avalon, you are awake, you have a massive head start on where I was. believe in yourself, be your own guru and trust yourself.......dont do anything rash or hasty and dont burn bridges until you are 100% you will never need them. Ask for help and it will come.

[Lettherebelight]

Hi seantimberwolf, your work in retail has not been a waste. Your experience has given you many deep insights. The choices you make now will enable others to benefit from your realisations, which are more profound than you realise.
There are many souls who are looking for encouragement to pursue a better way of life. Your example could give people the encouragement they need. Don't worry, you will find the right association to hang with.

Tread carefully, it is true what they say...this world is no place for a gentleman.

[westhill]

I work part-time at a grocery store where everyone, no matter what level (spiritual or emotional), is invited to come and ask me "Where's the mayonnaise?"
It's not where or what you do, but how you do it. It is a "practice" to give your full attention. People respond when they realize you are truly hearing and seeing
them in such an impersonal place as a grocery store. At that moment I have nothing else more important to do, but guide them to isle 18A. I do it fully present.
They can come along grouchy or grateful, that is not my concern. How I act is (some days are harder than others).
westhill

[Xenos]

I'm pretty agree with Dig... I felt like you for long time, until I understood that i'm extra sensitive and probably telepathe... and i even didn't discover by my self lol, people told me that "i'm living in people thought"... you are maybe the same... and yes when you see people, it is very very hard to be in love with them. But, it can be something else too, but can i ask you some question ? I'm sorry for that.

Do you know why you loose hope and care for humans ? Could you put words on it or it "like that", "it happen like that" ?

Do you even know why people bring you distaste or anger ? Why people make you mad ? Can you put words on it ? But "love and light" are not in the mouth, they are in the heart... so... people sometime speak to much from my point of view.

Posted by seantimberwolf (here)
I want to know why this has happened, has anyone else gone through this?
Sometimes i find myself (Odin forgive me for saying this) wishing all the degenerate idiots of society would just die, or just not exist so the whole human race can move on, I know that may sound extreme but i cant help feel it, i wish no ill harm on others but its the way i have been feeling recently, i welcome any help on this.
And if anyone feels like being angry towards me, save your breath i honestly don't care, im on hear to seek advice, and get ahead of this before its too far gone.

If you feel the change during the night, so it probably control mental... to turn your back to other people... if they do that, it is because your are a valuable person... as the french secret service (probably) told me, "they do that because you are spiritually strong"... and so, they don't want to see you give, to be appreciate and to catalyze people in your social life. You don't suffer because your bad, or crazy... but because your are precious. Precious for your race, and you can give a lot.

At the end and for kidding a little (don't take it personally)... Do you know what Odin, the god of War, could tell you ? That the Valhalla is for warrior and if you want Valkyrie in your bed, so you should fight and not surrender my friend. And if you refuse, he can cut your head and throwing your body to Fenris.

Try to do yoga, mediation... runaway groups, or people, especially if you can't stand them anymore... you can go through by yourself and if they do it to you, it is because you can ! They see in you.

Last question, if you draw a graphic representing your state of mind, would it be calm or very active... like artificially active.... not from you ?

I would like to finish with a sympathetic song

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=WfISf55KLmI

[Fred Steeves]

Speaking of grocery stores, I got the surprise of my life several months ago going to my local rinky dink store. Going through the meat section(sorry vegetarians) one day I overheard someone in conversation talking about Eisenhower and the military industrial complex. Needless to say this was a bit stunning, and when I looked to see who it was, it was none other than the guy who stocks the shelves talking to a customer. I waited til they were done and then walked over and struck up a conversation with him. He knew of David Icke, Jordan Maxwell, Alex Jones, Project Camelot, etc. It was so cool, and he uses his job interaction with the public to spread a little bit of knowledge here and there when appropriate.

I always hope he's working when the wife gives me a grocery list, and of course when I happen to park behind a car with a bumper sticker saying "Expose Chemtrails", I know exactly who it belongs to. LOL.

Cheers,
Fred

[seantimberwolf]

At the end and for kidding a little (don't take it personally)... Do you know what Odin, the god of War, could tell you ? That the Valhalla is for warrior and if you want Valkyrie in your bed, so you should fight and not surrender my friend. And if you refuse, he can cut your head and throwing your body to Fenris.

This did make me laugh thank you my friend.
Most of what i do i do for the all father, he is my guide i think its through him that allot of my distaste for humanity comes, as i do not relate to modern man.
I do not have many people interactions on a personnel level, i had a girlfriend but needless to say it ended badly due to a number of factors.
I have a small set of friends who know me well, many people who do not know me, normally do not want to get to know me, im not very approachable.
I just woke up one day feeling this way towards people who are ignorant and rude.
I dream of battles, every night i dream of fighting for a noble cause, one i cannot identify.
Since i was a child i have had a compulsion to collect ancient weapons and swords, to learn to use them and fight with them, i could not explain it for the longest time.
Then i saw a physic and was told how i have led many lifes, maybe i should look into past life regression, i dont sleep very often either.
It may just be a fact off life, something i have to learn to live with

[ceetee9]

Hi Sean,

I hear what you're saying and understand and wish I had some words of wisdom for you that I could be sure would ease your anger, pain and suffering.

I was in retail sales a long time ago and disliked it as well; although I think my dislike for it stemmed more from having to play the "sales game" then it did with having to deal with all kinds of people. I know it's hard to find other kinds of work--particularly these days--but it sounds to me like you may be at the point where that is what you need to try and do.

Don't beat yourself up over wishing the "idiots" would all die or go away either. I think most of us have felt that way at one time or another--particularly when we become very frustrated and disillusioned by all the garbage that goes on. I still can't understand why the masses are either ignorant of it all or don't care enough to do anything to try and change it. I find humor helps me a great deal when trying to deal with my frustrations though.

As others have said, try not to despair too much. You are in a funk right now, but it will get better.

[siggy]

I hear you seantimberwolf!
I've been in a similar place for the last few months.
It seems (from reading the threads) that lots of people are feeling similar things / energies, call it what you will.
I don't have any answers, I'm searching as well.
But it helps me at least to know that it's not just me - 'a trouble shared is a trouble halved' and all that.
I hope my small response helps to halve yours

Siggy

[Sidney]

Hey Sean- It's not you, its not even retail (IMO),it's everything. We are all (including your retail patrons) having growing pains. Also most likely you are an empath, which means, you are feeling/experiencing everyone elses emotions besides your own, and it is a heavy burden to carry. I don't have any answers for you as I am trying to find my own answers. Take comfort that you are not alone in your experience. Many of us are stuck in survival mode. At least we have a safe place to come and vent, for what it's worth.