Letter to Mr Cameron (Prime Minister UK)

[greybeard]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also......
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home..

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!





C

[Tony]

Love it love it....! However I just do not have the time to spend all that lovely money. Grumpies rule!!!

[norman]

Aye...oh well. Whoever wrote all that about prisons ain't ever been inside one.

I like the bit about fixing the economy though

[araucaria]

Come on pie'n'eal, who are you kidding with your 'lovely money' stuff?

Not sure about the car bit Greybeard, whatever happened to free energy?

And with all that alcohol, you may create a problem with OAP delinquency!

This is thinking outside the box with a vengeance, but still within the money paradigm. Is that really what we want?

[Star1111]

Spot on Greybeard
Love it !!

[mosquito]

If he agrees, I might even come back ! (only to leave again)

[Ian Gordon]

can we make the qualifying age 48 please

[araucaria]

I'm sorry, but the more I read this the more I shudder! Put pensioners in prison with guards and tv rights etc etc? !!
Maybe their 50-something millionnaire children could be helping them instead. They'd have to have something to do with their time and money;
The idea of people having enough wealth to make money irrelevant should be extended to the entire population. You would then make huge savings on pensions, hospitals, prisons, you name it.

The big trouble with dishing out cash is of course that most of it would go to the bankers most of the time.

[percival tyro]

You are my next Prime Minister....Could you set aside some cash for holidays?.

[cellardoor]

I work in a retirement home so what you said about sending pensioners to prison I 100% fully support. That is everything they need and don't get. Put a few doilies around the place and they'll be as happy as a pig in ****. But seriously having to face this truth everyday really upsets me. We have our priorities completely screwed up in the UK. I've considered slapping a POVA on David Cameron before now.

[kathymarie]

HI Chris...I loved your tongue-in-cheek solutions! When you finished fixing the UK please consider helping your American cousins as well. You're absolutely correct that we old grumpy gusses need to do something. If we wait for someone else to we're screwed!

[araucaria]

I was ignoring the tongue-in-cheek side to this because Greybeard has posted this open letter before, so apparently at another level he is dead serious. By pointing out that pensioners would often be materially better off in prison he is in fact using biting satire to state that the madness has got to stop. I think we would all subscribe to that sentiment.

[greybeard]

I did not compose it but it does appeal to my warped sense of humor and actually who knows some of it might just work--- smiling.
Chris

[aranuk]

Posted by greybeard (here)
Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also......
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home..

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!





C

Chris Bravo! That's the best economic policy I have ever heard! Not only that but it is so full of common sense that it is incredible nobody has offered this advice before now!

Chris how did you come to this information?

Stan

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by pie'n'eal (here)
Love it love it....! However I just do not have the time to spend all that lovely money. Grumpies rule!!!

You could make the time Tony.

Stan