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28th June 2010 21:55
Link to Post #1
Avalon Member
This evening i was given a second chance
I made the foolish decision of going out too sea today with my father, without a life-jacket. We were at the very head of the estuary fishing for sea trout. We were both remarking about how torrential the current was, my only words to describe it were utterly ferocious. I decided to make the clever move of standing up at the front of the boat to take a leak. The boat was rocking back and forth as my mind was telling me how bad of an idea this was. Then an image flashed in my mind, it was me in the water battling against the current. But i just shrugged it off.
Seconds later a series of events unfolded that was way beyond anything id ever expected. I noticed that the anchor had come loose and the boat was being dragged away with the current, i looked back at my father and told him, he said something about me acting as a sail making the boat pull it away. That was the last memory I had of being in the boat. The next thing I was in the water, wearing 2 layers of tracksuit bottoms and one pair of jeans, 2 t-shirts and a heavy hoodie, along with my shoes, my first thought was "I really didnt think it would end like this, im a goner". I battled as much as i could to keep my head above water but the current was so terribly ferocious at that very moment that i knew there was no possible way of living through this. Not with all of them clothes, not with that current, not without a lifejacket, and not with the amount of time it was taking my father to start the boat let alone catch up with me. By the time my father started the engine, which he was right beside, id been swept 200 metres away from the boat, just like that, as quick as you'd click your fingers.
It was over, there was no way i could keep my head above water any longer, all of my energy was gone, my clothes and shoes were dragging me under, i was disorientated, and in shock, and about to go under 50 ft of water. But then, I shouted in my head, (along with "shhit shhit shhit") "I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!" And envisioned myself sitting in the boat soaking wet, but relieved. (it worked to get me in there, so i figured why not, its that or die lol..)
At that very moment my arms got lighter, the current started to loose its grip on me as if something was holding me steady at the top of the water, as if something was keeping me from going under. After what seemed like forever my father managed to get the boat close enough to me that i could grab his arm. I hugged that boat like a baby hugs its mother.
Im not sure how i feel right now. My dad brought me on to the beach so i could get dried off. I wanted to cry but i couldnt. But the urge was so intense, such a powerfull energy in my chest just bursting to get out. But still, ive not been able to cry, maybe later.
As i was feeling a bit crappy on the way down to the sea this afternoon, I had made a conscious decision to just surrender myself to the universe. Knowing that i was in fact surrendering to my own visualisations. And boy, did my own visions come bite me in the ass.. but then came to save my life. This comes at a point in my life where im just rediscovering the power of our own imagination when properly utilised. And this was God kicking the point. I killed myself with my own mind, and then saved myself.
Its that or.. i dunno. *scratches head*
Thoughts?
By the way, its good to see you guys again
Last edited by jack; 8th September 2017 at 22:15.
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28th June 2010 22:03
Link to Post #2