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Thread: Forgiveness

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    United States Avalon Member Vanessa's Avatar
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    Question Forgiveness

    How does one really REALLY know when they have forgiven?
    Can one truly forgive yet still have trust issues?
    Forgive and still can relive the incident?
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    forgiveness comes from within, you need to forgive yourself for what ever you feel you have done wrong, dont look to outside forces to change who you are, but rather look into your heart and start feeling again, the best way to do this is to go into the feeling of compassion, not self pity, not compassion as the world sees it but rather compassion with no attachments. love your self in the way you think Father/God loves you. You have the power in your to change your life and to manifest what you want out of it.

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    How does one really REALLY know when they have forgiven?
    Can one truly forgive yet still have trust issues?
    Forgive and still can relive the incident?

    Hi there and welcome


    Good questions...
    Perhaps first define what forgiveness and trust mean to you.
    If its a process of letting go, then the action of "trust" should automatically be take care of.
    I love this quote by Twain: Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
    I think that if you can truly forgive, through love, trust has hope
    .... be gentle with your anger. Sixto Rodriguez, Cape Town 20.02.2013

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    Avalon Member 13th Warrior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Message removed.
    Last edited by 13th Warrior; 23rd February 2012 at 17:17.
    “Bundinn er bátlaus maður”

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Well in my experience forgiveness is a tricky thing...how can one truly forgive oneself ...impossible...because ones actions has im[acted irrevocably on others lives....obvious....forgiving others ...hmmm...another tricky.....when the hurt is so great which has enormous impact ??? treicky....I persona;;y resolve these issues by never forgiving myself and only forgiven those who have passed...cos now they know

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    United States Avalon Member EnergyGardener's Avatar
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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    How does one really REALLY know when they have forgiven?
    Can one truly forgive yet still have trust issues?
    Forgive and still can relive the incident?
    Is resolution of this very personal goal the original message of the great earth sages; some of their movements evolved into religions that lost that purpose?
    Last edited by EnergyGardener; 23rd February 2012 at 17:32.
    What Happens to Us, Is Less Important, Than; How We React, When It Does
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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Once I was seriously wronged by a family member. Since that time I've grown to understand the why and what fors of the incident, moved on to create a much more mature relationship with that person. I have said I've forgiven, think I have but just in the back of my mind is always that niggling thought "was the incident really forgiven?".

    This is coming from a person who won't go into past lives because she's got enough guilt in this one.
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    Once I was seriously wronged by a family member. Since that time I've grown to understand the why and what fors of the incident, moved on to create a much more mature relationship with that person. I have said I've forgiven, think I have but just in the back of my mind is always that niggling thought "was the incident really forgiven?".

    This is coming from a person who won't go into past lives because she's got enough guilt in this one.
    I very much relate to that; I have not chosen to cross that bridge either. I wonder what Dig's take is on the saying, "To forgive does not mean to forget."
    What Happens to Us, Is Less Important, Than; How We React, When It Does
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    What Happens to Us, Is Less Important, If; We are Prepared, When It Does - US Copyright 2003

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    Once I was seriously wronged by a family member. Since that time I've grown to understand the why and what fors of the incident, moved on to create a much more mature relationship with that person. I have said I've forgiven, think I have but just in the back of my mind is always that niggling thought "was the incident really forgiven?".

    This is coming from a person who won't go into past lives because she's got enough guilt in this one.
    Part of what you may be going through is a past life issue very similar to what you have gone through, people are clearing alot of those issues now thinking its something form this life that is unfinished. Just a suggestion

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by tonyp (here)
    ....I persona;;y resolve these issues by never forgiving myself and only forgiven those who have passed...cos now they know
    I think waiting until someone passes to forgive them would ultimately cause them the emotional toll that you received. Not talking Karma, I'm not that advanced. But carrying the burden on UNforgiveness is heavy.

    As for forgiving one's self.....I'm learning that one. I honestly believe I've never intentionally hurt anyone. But man o' man I'm sure the line of those I hurt is long. I seek forgiveness when I can, and I do try to understand and forgive myself.
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    lol...we all have honey..luv u

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    shift the memoy to what it was like before the incedent happend, and then change it in your mind and make it a positive experiance that you learned from

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Dig (here)
    shift the memoy to what it was like before the incedent happend, and then change it in your mind and make it a positive experiance that you learned from
    In that case all was forgiven. I spent over a year mourning that disneyesque non reality of what I thought I had. I mark that year as the age I finally grew up.
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    Quote Posted by Dig (here)
    shift the memoy to what it was like before the incedent happend, and then change it in your mind and make it a positive experiance that you learned from
    In that case all was forgiven. I spent over a year mourning that disneyesque non reality of what I thought I had. I mark that year as the age I finally grew up.
    Grew up or opened up your heart again in order to feel.

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    I'd say not opened up my heart, more like mended my heart. According to most, I've been accused of feeling too much.
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    This is remarkable timing, a subject to my core, my own objective to resolve, to yet jettison some very old and heavy baggage. The few light ones I've recently tossed have lifted my weight significantly already.

    Thank you for your posts.
    What Happens to Us, Is Less Important, Than; How We React, When It Does
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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    I'd say not opened up my heart, more like mended my heart. According to most, I've been accused of feeling too much.
    when a person feels to much then you could say they are getting closer to who they really are, people dont like the fact that someone could change for the better because then they would have to climb off the couch and do the same thing, takes to much work

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    Quote Posted by EnergyGardener (here)
    This is remarkable timing, a subject to my core, my own objective to resolve, to yet jettison some very old and heavy baggage. The few light ones I've recently tossed have lifted my weight significantly already.

    Thank you for your posts.
    getting rid of all the hurt and pain may take a few weeks or Months but when you come out the other end you will be in a higher Frequency

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    I have often found that those who accuse others of "feeling too much" or "thinking too much" don't do much of either one.
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    Quote Posted by Vanessa (here)
    How does one really REALLY know when they have forgiven?
    Can one truly forgive yet still have trust issues?
    Forgive and still can relive the incident?
    You know when you've truly forgiven something when you can't remember what the grievance was.
    I'm serious. Forgiveness is understanding that the incident or person wasn't what you thought it was,
    and that whatever happened was for an important change in you. Honestly, that's all that's ever going on here.

    When you realize you were actually wrong, (not about that something happened, but about what you actually know about what happened, and where your reaction came from) then you
    won't remember why you were caught there, because it won't make any sense anymore. You can relive it because it's a different story than the one that felt hurtful.
    But you have to be willing to be wrong, or nothing can happen.

    Keeping a grievance for as long as we do, and all the ideas that we draw into the story to justify it, isn't bad, but is how we resist that change. It's about us, it's about you becoming free.

    You can find a discipline that will train you how to manage your reactions that way, like the Sedona Method, or Byron Katie, or A Course in Miracles, there are probably a thousand ways to do it.
    But you can also test yourself by going into a particular grievance with all the resistance and justification you can think of, and refusing to accept that as the truth of the situation. The story remains true to you because you believe it as you tell it to yourself. What about all the factors that you don't know? There is a universe of factors, all of them crucial to the truth or purpose.

    Crush yourself between your desire to be free and your need to be right. How long will you stay there until it shows you what you need to see? Because it will. It has to.
    Do you want to be right and justified, or do you want to be happy? How badly do you want either? Draw a circle around yourself and refuse to budge until it shifts for you.

    You can save yourself a lot of time by doing it with the one most painful thing you can think of, or try it on a lot of little issues until you realize the truth of it. But when you do it fully and don't compromise,
    you discover that your mind is operating in the range where what we call miracles occur. Weird things, like the person you hated becomes your friend out the blue, or becomes a symbol of love for you.
    Or a problem just disappears for no reason at all. Or cancer disappears. It's that part of your mind that is free of attack and self defense.

    That's how fundamental it is to how we discover freedom and peace. Everything that ever happens to us is happening for our benefit. That can be hard to accept.

    We'll probably get a bit of resistance here in a forum where elements need to battle against powers that seem to control from the outside, trying to use force against force,
    or maybe not.
    There's also a lot of good information on how to change things outside of us by changing within. That that is what needs to occur before the outside is able to change.
    It's how we resist confronting ideas and resist change that causes us pain, but we can't escape from them. We have to go through them to learn what they really are.

    Here's a simple way to resolve trust issues. Trust people to screw up. I trust myself to make mistakes, and not know how to unmake them. People have to use whatever method
    they've learned to protect themselves. They can't help it, unless or until they learn a different way. We can learn to accept that without making other people chronically guilty according to our standards.
    They have to be guilty to us until we allow them their innocence. People are always on the defensive, especially when under attack.

    It may not seem like the solution that you'd like, but it is the solution. If it's helpful we can talk more about it.

    I wish you all the best.
    Last edited by markpierre; 23rd February 2012 at 20:16.

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    Default Re: Forgiveness

    That was the most amazing and complete answer I've ever gotten on forgiveness. During the year i was in mourning I had the occasion to ask several ministers and a priest that and got nothing. Thank You
    Reality -- What a Concept!

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