Channeling - the 'how to' guide

[Borden]

Are you looking for a way to string along as many of the gullible as you can? Do you want to maintain a scam for a financially agreeable length of time? Fake UFO footage not working out for you now that everyone's a computer whizz kid?

Proclaim yourself a channeler!

When you 'channel', you can put forth any amount of preposterous information you care to invent, because it comes from the entity you are 'channeling'. There is no comeback!

When you 'channel', no proof of your claims is required. (Curiously, when the average person claims to hear voices in the head that make them do and say things, the mental health authorities do not require much more proof than that either)

All you need to get started is some run-of-the-mill, platitudinous guff you have picked up from the usual suspects in the 'alternative' media. Then you'll need an eye-wateringly, truly cringe-worthy, patronizing turn of phrase. Hint: call people 'beloved', brethren', and even 'little one'! I'm serious! It works!

Once you've got the preliminary mind-set right, no amount of inconsistency, nonsense and regurgitated waffle will stuff things up for you. Don't believe me? Do more research! I'm serious! These people get away with murder, and not only that ... they get away with inelegant, indulgent language! It's like listening to a ten year old make stuff up for a five year old. You can't go wrong!

Got all that? Well, let's face it - it ain't hard. Now we're good to go.

First, establish yourself as a 'channeler'. Commitment and bullet-headedness will help you greatly in this department. However, since you're already determined to milk the credit-card-carrying credulous, this should not be an issue for you.

Second. look around for fellow scam-artists to latch onto. This should not be too hard either. Bear in mind that they are all desperate to affiliate themselves with whoever is garnering the most attention. It doesn't matter if your scam is about aliens ... you will swiftly find that you are an expert on global finances, Montauk Island, quantum theory and eschatology too!

Third, don't be afraid to go too far!

Honestly, you can say whatever the f%$* you like to the sort of people who lap up the whole channeling lark. I've seen some examples so ludicrous I assumed that the 'channeler' would lose all credibility ... but no! No press is bad press! This is an INCREDIBLE market!

When you have followed these basic guidelines, you should find the money rolling in. Ignore those niggling feelings that you're abusing the weak-minded ... forget that worrying idea that you're raping the hopes and dreams of the guileless. Stand tall! And if you really need some sort of moral fabrication to get you through the night ... well, you have a message, right? And 'Channeling' seems to be the only way to present that message with impact ... right? It's a dirty world ... why not get a little dirty too? It's all good!

Pretty soon you'll have followers who will actually defend you! To your astonishment, they will say things like, 'no-one human could have written anything that wise.' Even more conveniently, they will demonize anyone who doubts your gift! This is a win/win situation, people - do not miss out!

You can even be creative with the channel-verse you create. Of course, plagiarism is the highest form of art, so feel free to chip in with your version of reptilians, Nordics, greys, et al. It's a bit like re-creating the Marvel universe, only a lot easier and a lot crapper.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly: anyone who doubts your efforts is evil. Not just naughty or incorrect, but EVIL. This is a tried and tested method for which we have religion to thank. The very kindest you can say about them is that they are on a lower vibrational level, and therefore cannot understand your wisdoms. Hey, it works! It's all good!

Borden

[Tarka the Duck]

If this wasn't so outrageous, and written with so much humour, I would predict that some may get upset at this...

[Borden]

Posted by Tarka the Duck (here)
If this wasn't so outrageous, and written with so much humour, I would predict that some may get upset at this...

How on earth could they?!

If super duper ETs and inter-dimensional beings don't have a sense of humour then they must be on a denser vibration, little ones.

Borden

[markpierre]

Hey Borden, try this;

Roll your eyes back in your head for a few secs, flutter your eyelids and then look like nothing happened. Every now and then.
Do that someplace like a dinner party where everyone already knows you're a little spooky.

Or invert your hand on your crown like an antennae. Do that randomly, but at first where people know your reputation. Word will spread.

[Curt]

I particularly like...

Posted by Borden (here)
'All you need to get started is some run-of-the-mill, platitudinous guff...'

[and]

'Once you've got the preliminary mind-set right, no amount of inconsistency, nonsense and regurgitated waffle will stuff things up for you....' Borden

Those appear to be the basics. Like anything else, it's all about mastering the fundamentals...

[frances]

That's what I like about Avalon people, it's the balance that's right. Frances.

[Curt]

Borden, keep up the good work. I'm convinced your satire, however biting, is ultimately a compassionate plea-- a call to reasonably examine (or reexamine) a major issue in our community.

From Twin Peaks, 'Albert's Path is a strange and difficult one...'

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ww-88rwt4ms

[9eagle9]

I don't like you.

[Earth Angel]

Im not upset ........I am just a little sick and tired of the lets make fun of channeling stuff.......dont we have better things to do with our time and talent (yes you are very funny).......let focus on what we DO support and leave the things we don't alone.......I for one find the work of Abraham Hicks and Bashar to contain amazing information.........if others don't then fine but why all the negative posts of late ??

[etm567]

Posted by Borden (here)
Are you looking for a way to string along as many of the gullible as you can? Do you want to maintain a scam for a financially agreeable length of time? Fake UFO footage not working out for you now that everyone's a computer whizz kid?

Proclaim yourself a channeler!

When you 'channel', you can put forth any amount of preposterous information you care to invent, because it comes from the entity you are 'channeling'. There is no comeback!

When you 'channel', no proof of your claims is required. (Curiously, when the average person claims to hear voices in the head that make them do and say things, the mental health authorities do not require much more proof than that either)

All you need to get started is some run-of-the-mill, platitudinous guff you have picked up from the usual suspects in the 'alternative' media. Then you'll need an eye-wateringly, truly cringe-worthy, patronizing turn of phrase. Hint: call people 'beloved', brethren', and even 'little one'! I'm serious! It works!

Once you've got the preliminary mind-set right, no amount of inconsistency, nonsense and regurgitated waffle will stuff things up for you. Don't believe me? Do more research! I'm serious! These people get away with murder, and not only that ... they get away with inelegant, indulgent language! It's like listening to a ten year old make stuff up for a five year old. You can't go wrong!

Got all that? Well, let's face it - it ain't hard. Now we're good to go.

First, establish yourself as a 'channeler'. Commitment and bullet-headedness will help you greatly in this department. However, since you're already determined to milk the credit-card-carrying credulous, this should not be an issue for you.

Second. look around for fellow scam-artists to latch onto. This should not be too hard either. Bear in mind that they are all desperate to affiliate themselves with whoever is garnering the most attention. It doesn't matter if your scam is about aliens ... you will swiftly find that you are an expert on global finances, Montauk Island, quantum theory and eschatology too!

Third, don't be afraid to go too far!

Honestly, you can say whatever the f%$* you like to the sort of people who lap up the whole channeling lark. I've seen some examples so ludicrous I assumed that the 'channeler' would lose all credibility ... but no! No press is bad press! This is an INCREDIBLE market!

When you have followed these basic guidelines, you should find the money rolling in. Ignore those niggling feelings that you're abusing the weak-minded ... forget that worrying idea that you're raping the hopes and dreams of the guileless. Stand tall! And if you really need some sort of moral fabrication to get you through the night ... well, you have a message, right? And 'Channeling' seems to be the only way to present that message with impact ... right? It's a dirty world ... why not get a little dirty too? It's all good!

Pretty soon you'll have followers who will actually defend you! To your astonishment, they will say things like, 'no-one human could have written anything that wise.' Even more conveniently, they will demonize anyone who doubts your gift! This is a win/win situation, people - do not miss out!

You can even be creative with the channel-verse you create. Of course, plagiarism is the highest form of art, so feel free to chip in with your version of reptilians, Nordics, greys, et al. It's a bit like re-creating the Marvel universe, only a lot easier and a lot crapper.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly: anyone who doubts your efforts is evil. Not just naughty or incorrect, but EVIL. This is a tried and tested method for which we have religion to thank. The very kindest you can say about them is that they are on a lower vibrational level, and therefore cannot understand your wisdoms. Hey, it works! It's all good!

Borden

Some of the most important material I've ever read was channeled. This whole conversation is really tiring.

The thing is, all these critics of channeling keep saying what the channels are saying, except that that's not what they are saying. In fact, it is usually the opposite of what they are saying.

It is really easy to make fun of other people. I do not think this comes from a truly positive impulse of any kind. You know there are people on this board who read channeled material. So, are you making fun of them? What is your point? That they are stupid? Naive? Gullible?

Why do you, and so many others, assume that those who read channeled material have no ability to make distinctions for themselves? It seems to me that they may have developed that capacity a bit more than those who just toss all channeled material into the same category, and then say, if it is positive, that it has to be nonsense.

But this has been said about a thousand times by now. If you don't like channeled material, nobody is holding a gun to your head trying to make you read it. Just like nobody is trying to force anyone here in the US to use contraception or take on homosexual lovers or to have abortions, but there are those who want to say what everyone else should or should not be allowed to do. I do not see that there is any difference.

I'm sorry I do not find your effort amusing. I only see that it is a thinly veiled effort to insult many members of this forum. And I find that that is quite unfortunate. But I might get in trouble for saying this. So it is all right for you to make fun of, attempt to humiliate others, but it may not be okay for me to take offense at that. This has gotten to be a very controlling environment, unfortunately, and quite oddly, considering that it is supposed to be an alternative type of forum. Quite mainstream it has become, and very intolerant, indeed.

ETM

[mojo]

Hi ETM,
I haven't taken sides in the issue but I wanted to say I appreciate that you shared how you feel. There is a silent majority that value different perspectives.

[NeverMind]

Posted by Earth Angel (here)
Im not upset ........I am just a little sick and tired of the lets make fun of channeling stuff.......dont we have better things to do with our time and talent (yes you are very funny).......let focus on what we DO support and leave the things we don't alone.......I for one find the work of Abraham Hicks and Bashar to contain amazing information.........if others don't then fine but why all the negative posts of late ??

I hear you.
But consider that - clearly - there is a need for this type of humour, especially on a board like this one.
I have a suspicion - perhaps unfounded - that quite a few would have left by now, if it weren't for the light balance such "different" approaches provide.
Personally I find parody - if it is in good taste and not actually mean - seriously cleansing.
Or, to use a fancier word: cathartic. :-)

[Carmody]

One of the most important lessons that one can gain here (life as a duality being), if not the most important lesson of existing as a occupant of a fleshy avatar, is that one is in charge of their corner of reality and personal development, and that there are connective tissue aspects to one's helping or hindering the existence of the whole. Free will, thus... developmental will... of personal choice.

Therefore one must clear the self and they must not be negative in their communications and their internal casting of those communications. Thus the fixing of the self and the deepest considerations of the self, when launching a communication or energy exchange.

For in the place we really come from, the 'standards' are nearly perfectly inverted. Thought (the comparative would be the organization of complex matter) is nearly the fundamental aspect of reality..... and matter is the most feeble component. Inverted from what you know now in 3d reality. (we practice in our dreams, which are emotionally driven)

To be a youngling in that environment requires a tremendous amount of self control to be learned, to exist as a good being in good standing and in an organized but flowing existence with all others that are individuals..in a quantum environment where fundamentals are universal and connected to all.

So, we come here, to this reality....and learn how to integrate with a 'body' (think remote controlled car with totally immersive controls) that is so emotionally driven and poorly controlled....with it's gas pedal stuck to the floor in near total ignorance.

We have herd instinct AND individuality as duality beings (avatar and occupant)....and thus we learn the things that we need to learn, we learn them here..... so we can be much better when finally back in an environment where thought and expressions are the dominant forces over that of matter.

[Borden]

ETM, there is nothing veiled here, thinly or otherwise.

I am sorry I didn't amuse you, but if you buy into 'channeled information' then I am not surprised.

My primary concern, as Curtis rightly (though unusually!) pointed out, is one of compassion. It doesn't worry me per se that I need to avoid 'channeled information' threads here. Of course that's not a big issue for me, as it isn't for anybody else here. In the same way, it's no skin off my nose if a child wants to play with matches. Oh, hang on ... apparently I AM supposed to be worried in that circumstance. Had to check with HQ ... apparently this compassion lark is not as simple as it first looks. Bloody humans, bah. Beginning to regret buying the cheapest disguise in the space port.

To all those who buy the channeling thing ... I love you, you are at least looking for answers in a world that makes no sense. Believe me, that puts you in a pretty exclusive demographic. It's just that you're looking in the wrong place. Stop being fodder! Stop being the kind of wide-eyed flake that gives truth-seekers a bad name. This is not a personal attack on ETM or anybody.

You know the score. The world's in a s*** state. What the hell are you doing believing in shrill voiced con-artists???

Now ... channel as a tool of imagination, maybe allowing your higher self a bit of air-time ... I'm up for that, so long as it's honest! In fact, if prompted, I will do it myself! I do not under-estimate that line of inquiry ... I do however, when it's Sogdoz of the planet Githom.

We're all on the same side. That means I have to be nice to flakes, and I generally am. As I've said before on this forum, I'd rather be stuck on a desert island with you than a bunch of bread-head reductionists. (Ray Mears would be ideal, but what the hell.)

This is not about intolerance. I am intolerant to rubbish, that's all. Oh ... is it about intolerance then?

And to 9eagle9 ... what did I ever do to you?

Borden

[markpierre]

Posted by Earth Angel (here)
Im not upset ........I am just a little sick and tired of the lets make fun of channeling stuff.......dont we have better things to do with our time and talent (yes you are very funny).......let focus on what we DO support and leave the things we don't alone.......I for one find the work of Abraham Hicks and Bashar to contain amazing information.........if others don't then fine but why all the negative posts of late ??

I think you're right Earth Angel, that should be a point taken.
We've had experiences lately where good natured or otherwise attention seeking has allowed itself to become too painful. It kills itself. I think we will probably see this one left at a bit of fun. It's funny to me anyway, and i used to channel a lot.

We have 2 types of channeling going on in the forum that I come across. One is speaking down to me from another language or usage of language that's patronizing. It doesn't matter what it says,
An attempt to establish a dominant position and all the integrity is lost for me. I can't be patronized, so I can't hear it. I don't know what it says and I don't seem to care so it wasn't meant for me. I don't have to bother trusting or distrusting anything, so it's all good. Even if it's clearly nonsense.

And another type that finds me where i am, and communicates in a language that's there with me in whatever it is I'm in. I don't need information if I don't need help. When I do, I do. It always seems to be there.
An argument about which is which would be silly. I wouldn't accept something other than my own Self to provide me with information and I hear it when it's channeled, whoever channels it. Imagine the technology at work. Imagine the psychology and wordplay.
Something that can't be said in any more perfect a way. Or any more manipulative. Or any more obviously ...- off -... We get it all here.

Sometimes people still need to be deceived or indecisive. The wrong information doesn't change reality. It's an attempt to feel safe, and coping is normal. We all feel unsafe because we're losing the selves that we know.
All any of it is meant to do is ease us into a transition, even with story. However that happens is how it happens. It is a good example of hearing only what you need to. I won't exclude an Armageddon, internally or externally. I experience it as an initiation. I hope I'm right.
But some people and myself sometimes, need to fight the wars in themselves with words and enemies and search out allies to try to maneuver an outcome. A perfect outcome is inevitable, we just don't like the idea of being uncomfortable in the meantime.
We like the idea of being free, but we don't know what that is yet either. And we know that when we're talking about it, or 'they' are, that's not quite it. It's all uncomfortable.
Evidently we're all here doing that somehow. They're impossible wars. Truth is somewhere else entirely.

[Borden]

I don't know what Carmody said just then, but it was deep. I hereby align myself with it, and will soon buy a dictionary.

Borden

[Borden]

Yes, Markpierre just said some pretty intelligent things too. A word of warning: watch out for these intelligent basta*ds ... they could scupper your scam before it even starts.

Borden

[RMorgan]

Hey folks,

In my opinion there are several kinds of the so called "channeling".

1-Some people just pretend to channel indeed, to earn some money selling books, dvs and receiving donations. These are very common. We know this kind very well. These are 100% charlatans.

2-Some other people are pretty honest but are mostly channeling themselves. In this case, channeling can be called a psychological phenomenon, similar to hypnosis, when people access different levels or perception; their own perception. These are 50% charlatans, because they actually believe they are channeling external sources.

3-Finally, I believe there´s the genuine kind of channeling, when people actually transcribe messages dictated by spirits and other mysterious beings . Many of this channelers have been debunked, however, there are still very interesting cases, like the medium Chico Xavier, from Brazil.

Anyway, I don´t believe in channeled messages from Ets. I think most of these cases fit in option 1 and 2, maybe both.

Cheers,

Raf.

[markpierre]

Posted by Borden (here)
Yes, Markpierre just said some pretty intelligent things too. A word of warning: watch out for these intelligent basta*ds ... they could scupper your scam before it even starts.

Borden

Oh boy, don't think I don't know that! Everything is s minefield. But I hope you didn't miss the eyeball roll thing. Trust me on it, I only speak from experience.

Get an Australian dictionary. It's hilarious.

[PurpleLama]

On behalf of all Githomians, I am insulted. Just so you know, we don't believe in earth humans, either.

To use a game metaphor, some people have the ball, and run with it. Some people don't have the ball, but are trying to get it. Some people don't have it, don't want it, but don't want anyone else to have it either. A very few see the humor in it all, and just watch, and laugh.

Tighten up, borden, this one's not quite as funny as the last.