Posted by Delight
(here)
Posted by HORIZONS
(here)
Posted by Phoenix1304
(here)
The thread title attracted me because I am having a difficult time right now, see-sawing from light to dark thoughts more extreme than anything in the past ten years. And I thought 2012 was going to be a rapid increase in vibration! In fact I'm exhausted and struggling to stay out of very low vibrational states. I should say I live what I consider is a spiritual life in that I monitor my thinking vigilantly, 'pivot' as Abraham Hicks likes to call it, turn my thinking around and tune in to that peaceful, calm place in my heart that reminds me to love. I've been doing the Ho'ponopono like a mad thing lately, just to get through the past weeks. It helps, but
I'm not sleeping well, old memories keep surfacing (so I liked that quote about cellular memory clearing), uncertainty, confusion and a certain mental chaos reigns, so here's my problem with Ms Nelson's book...
......(if)we have the power to resurrect ourselves and others if only we had faith enough and filled our reservoirs with this awesome light of God, then why has there never been one other example in the 2000 years since this startling demonstration? Why not John Lennon? It would appear that not one other soul has ever attained this level of consciousness, because as far as I know, not one example exists. A few Tibetan monks have stopped their corpses rotting rapidly somehow, but no actual resurrections. Surely, if this was solid philosophy there would have been some shining examples by now and we'd all be giving ourselves a new face and body.
I'll accept that what I think about expands, that if I want love I have to be love, and if I want peace, be peace. But beyond that all these fantastic notions about our unlimited mind power just leaves me cold these days and I'm beginning to want to slap people who tell me I can have whatever I want. Because while I've come a long way baby, I still feel suffocated by a despotic culture, the desecration of this lovely planet and the struggle to survive and after 40 years of positive thinking, affirmations and practice I still can't manifest anything more useful than a parking space.
Just sharing from my peculiar present state! ; )
Blessings to all.
What you speak of are some of the very reasons why I have sought after other modalities of healing, health and life, rather than the status quo of what everyone else is doing. I fully understand your present state, and it is one that I have to keep in mind as I can find myself there if I am not very deliberate in how I live my life these days.
Right now in my life it is all about choices, and the choices I make have a direct parallel to my state of being.
I'd like to share back from my own present confused state. I would like to master what this experience is about here. I don't really know even what the point is as there are so many takes on it and I have not heard any direct information from my "channels". But I gravitate to the idea that "mastery" is an ideal that makes sense? Supposedly masters are at cause of being? That has some sort of relationship to choice?
First off, I have realized that making a conscious choice terrifies me. This time of light flushing all my shadow is revealing my her-story in which I have looked for "signs" to follow. In general, I would say I resonate most to ideals (like beauty, truth, love, freedom, sovereignty...the packets of feeling I have of these that mean "them" to me). I resonate much less to people and even experience. I have an imgination that often has satisfied me much more than the "nitty gritty" of life with others.
It's been easy to take the passive way and respond and follow signs that seem to be directed towards the ideals. I don't mean to the "socially" necessary but what I could see of something showing up the ideals I "live on".
I don't get much out of wrestling with other's opinions but have thought maybe I should stand up for the ideals and have done that (from Ego's vantage point??? That is a question from the wrestling with shadow). Like many, I have wondered if I have a mission that has been hiding?
Then I wonder if my dislike of the nitty gritty (just experience of everything) is about Ego too?
The point of saying the above, now I am finding that I doubt my ideals will ever be "seen" really and I wonder if I have been mistaken to follow signs. Was I avoiding experience in preferring to be in the "ideals" I prefer (in my imagination) Was I all along avoiding making choices consciously? The confrontation I am having with myself over the notion of my approach to "choice" is creating extreme anxiety.
To elaborate a bit more... I know pretty well that we "know' something mentally after the fact. So, I am pretty sure that all my activity (mental) of investigating my reality is after something already occurred. In that way, I am sure that signs show up after the cause. Where the choice comes must be about setting something into motion but it too being mental must be after the fact? Is this cause a hidden part of my Self so following the signs is as "good as" choosing to set out a path? Or not?
I have feelings of joy about being Sovereign, free, love... These joyful feelings about the ideals have always been with me. Is this idea that I need to be more conscious of choice irrelevant? Do I really need to engage with experience more than I do?
I am not sure where "choosing" comes in?
However, the whole issue is creating emotion in me that I must clear. The very thought of making a choice such as "I intend to move to (anywhere) or I intend to choose a particular job (anything)" creates a welter of avoidant emotion. I am not sure why I am wrestling with this except that a free and sovereign being seems to be asked to be the chooser? Or is that not the case?
I find that when the anxiety gets huge, I must pretend that the issue is already "satisfied". I feel happy with that "pretense". I wonder if this is an escape into imagining that I always do anyway. Being that what I imagine is so contenting (hehe). Thanks for the witness to the strugglingness here today. Maggie