Welcome to The Pub At the End of the Universe.

[Borden]

This is really hard. God, I'm a mess. Come and save me, someone. There are no exit doors and I need someone to come and invent one for me.

p.s. Stop defiling Kirk and Spock for me. You know who you are.

[songsfortheotherkind]

I feel like I'm in a room full of voyeurs! have none of you anything to say about thine own evolution?

I can tell you this for free, Borden and I are not going to be monumentally fighting on a regular basis just to provide you lot with some real time evolution!

No, we'll probably be fighting because he has temporarily failed to see how brilliant and fabulous I am. But it's not a spectator sport! Now there's the reality TV show that hasn't happened yet- although it probably has in Japan.

[Zebra]

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)
Hey there Zebra

Golly ... you sure do spell funny when you get away from the Pub

Chemtrails sprutas över Sverige. Varför reagerar ingen ? Fågeldöden och fiskdöden börjar bli omfattande. Bina börjar dö. Folket blir allt sjukare. Sveriges del i HAARP. Regering och mörka krafter i landet vill smyga in Sverige i NATO.

Calz, I doing it for the swedes -- I am just living there - and they haveso little information on what we talk about in here in their own mother tongue - which, by the way, I SUCK AT
Don´t you love the word for spraying S P R U T E R I think it is perfect for chemtrails - because that is what happens, those planes don´t spray, they spew out chemicals in long spurts. Yes, I think there are some yummy words in Swedish, well maybe not the word for day (in Sweden, they use the word: dag) and a dag I thought is what hangs from a sheep´s bum. But I am being naughty now.

[Mad Hatter]

Hmm... abyss sailing.... you can rely on gravity to let you down every time

I feel like I'm in a room full of voyeurs! have none of you anything to say about thine own evolution?

My nose drips and my feet smell....conclusion I was built upside down !!

[Intraphase]

I keep my mainstay body point for navigating above a well worn saloon a few thousand thoughts passed the border. Its a cheap room, free actually seeing as I can tolerate the owner and clean the customers up or out of whatever they need upping or outing of. Pool, cards, one bullet pistols, any game that has a element of chance and risk. Strong spirits are always passing by looking for advice. I tell them skip the big city bright lights until you can at least row or sail because you just never know if the great cloud shall ever let you go and give up the ghost to let you come home up river.

A granpa sasquatch runs the food and beverage part of the place and there is a small port room in the basement for well heeled paying customers hunting information outbound or repeaters who can trade their way into a designated spot in the awareness. That is why the rent is free Tota the squatch has an malodorous scent for the nostril encumbered outbounders hoping to stake out a spot in the distant future. That body there has a non functional nose designed to accommodate the lodging.

From the border, to the saloon, to beyond the hunting range of the great spirits is a few trillion thoughts or so, beyond there is only compact points of light inbound that pass in small bursts between extended silence. Eventually all consciousness is silent still and tranquil. I move slowly allowing my final waves of thought to depart and with a standard command to silence invoking eternal verses infinite as a final value assignment before becoming all black all ways no one.

There I sleep sometimes for hundreds or thousands of iterations of the breaths of creation with universe rising and falling in a giant bellowing. On the rare occasion that the cloud reaches me I join creation again starting at the saloon if no islands or boatyards have sprung up near my long term bow. A good solid breathe is usually followed by highly skilled shipwrights that trade compressed silence for ocean going 3-7 story information vehicles to move far inward before turning and riding the thermal currents outward.

Passing oneself many times in the narrative moving in both directions simultaneously leads to certain peculiar advantages and abilities to survive within the expanding cloud. Silence is always my stock and trade providing pure dark focused silence. A precious commodity in the great awareness with its ever shifting winds of color and form. In the turn arounds I complete in the saloon area outside the event horizon proper where competition for slices of the out coming arrows of cause effect indexing is fierce I wager silence as coinage to great effect for supplies requisitioning and general reconnaissance on structure and flows worth pursuing as active interests.

The basics are often what becomes lost as value assignment is stacked on top of value assignments until narratives stultify and bind the observers inner information observing information. Silence is a reliable restart in areas where the intersections and junctions have been gunked up to the point of poisoning the free flowing waters of life. In a coin the size of a silver dollar I can carry enough silence to end and begin many complete breaths of the great cloud. Each coin divides by fours and tens until the customer achieves the amount of silence required. This current narrative of universe is a steady customer and stable iteration of the great breathe. The one becomes the three yet the one remains inside the three. By any other name a triad is still a triad and the lowest fundamental note is event horizon prime and the highest stable overtone event horizon secondary.

The construct of now is the evolving tertiary horizon called here which moves by a slow thermal clock outward that customers can sync up with by choosing a faster clock and launching from the prime horizon until the now they seek is available to their construct and value assignments. One of the reason I run a body beside a squatch is to drive away the paralysis of analysis types getting sucked into the cloud. If they want to borrow I make loans, if they want to buy, I sell, if they want to game their way in I game at all random chance styles.

I've heard every complaint and song of praise ever sung at least once, my calling is silence in exchange for quality content that can be draped over the guide lines of expansion. I am in the insurance business to ensure high quality which means eating my losses and the losses of others no matter how chaotic and silencing the fundamental notes involved in the malformed transaction. That is why I get along with the squatch we understand its just business and the fight between the eternal and infinite never ends completely, occasionally there is a vast gulf between breathing cycles but the great cloud of awareness with its infinite sub divisions of color always reforms.

To the bold and audacious who crave momentum I grant one strong spirit to kill or be killed by, to the fatigued and forlorn chaotic travelers I grant one pure moment of complete silence. Thus I keep the three great engines of computation engaged in the personalization and depersonalization of narrative form. The origin silence and tone the glass eyed throne of one eternity sitting at the middle of the storm hiding deep within the pastels and primary blends far far outward from that first mighty push.

As I approached the saloon on this breath I realized it was now a pub. If this is close to the end or the end itself than Tota must be out with the fishing girls exterminating UFO's that breached the horizon and returning them back into information coin equations. This pub is a few linear weeks in the continuum so that means I probably have two massive heavy haul dump trucks worth of canceled equations to sweep up. Pub, Saloon, tomato, potato its still looks like the same set-up and that's good for a nights rest and a double stop before pizzicato stepping the rhythm to the clean up zone. Lot of dead UFO's lately, a whole lot of information that simply decayed into a massive poof & gone.

Silence does that sometimes. Narrative smarrative, watch out for Tota when he is doing his no body steals the future, grandpa sasquatch said its so, that's the way it is bit.


Ride the edge of The Circle
Effect proceeds cause sometimes.
May chaos and silence be your friends.
Avoid narrative addiction and silent stupor.
If time runs backwards chase it to know all its secrets.
The Silence is all right, all ways, sum one and trustworthy.
It stole the Earth's five crowns of light, she is a serious lady friend of Silence.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qSkPcaGvzY

Myself back in my grassy knoll days taking down a gangster who stole the USA

[Cerridwen]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)
I feel like I'm in a room full of voyeurs! have none of you anything to say about thine own evolution?

I can tell you this for free, Borden and I are not going to be monumentally fighting on a regular basis just to provide you lot with some real time evolution!

No, we'll probably be fighting because he has temporarily failed to see how brilliant and fabulous I am. But it's not a spectator sport! Now there's the reality TV show that hasn't happenecd yet- although it probably has in Japan.

I'm in the O.R., sitting quietly in the corner until I'm needed, thinking about what the hell I'm supposed to do about my dad.

Very long story short, he was an a**hole who abandoned me as a child, but always spoiled my brother. I haven't seen or talked to him in 10 years. Now, he's dying. They took him to surgery yesterday for what they thought was his appendix and found a bunch of cancer instead. He's already on oxygen 24/7 and has major heart problems.

He lives up in No California, I'm in Southern Cal. So, what am I supposed to do? Do I take a trip up there while he's still around, wait and just go to the funeral when it happens, or just say fu*k it, and do nothing?

I'm trying to evolve, but its bring back a flood of very hurtful memories as a kid.

[CurtisW]

Posted by Cerridwen (here)

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)
I feel like I'm in a room full of voyeurs! have none of you anything to say about thine own evolution?

I can tell you this for free, Borden and I are not going to be monumentally fighting on a regular basis just to provide you lot with some real time evolution!

No, we'll probably be fighting because he has temporarily failed to see how brilliant and fabulous I am. But it's not a spectator sport! Now there's the reality TV show that hasn't happenecd yet- although it probably has in Japan.

I'm in the O.R., sitting quietly in the corner until I'm needed, thinking about what the hell I'm supposed to do about my dad.

Very long story short, he was an a**hole who abandoned me as a child, but always spoiled my brother. I haven't seen or talked to him in 10 years. Now, he's dying. They took him to surgery yesterday for what they thought was his appendix and found a bunch of cancer instead. He's already on oxygen 24/7 and has major heart problems.

He lives up in No California, I'm in Southern Cal. So, what am I supposed to do? Do I take a trip up there while he's still around, wait and just go to the funeral when it happens, or just say fu*k it, and do nothing?

I'm trying to evolve, but its bring back a flood of very hurtful memories as a kid.

Hi Cerridwen,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. All I can say is do what you, the adult you, feels to be right.... Whatever that may be.

[another bob]

Posted by Cerridwen (here)
Do I take a trip up there while he's still around, wait and just go to the funeral when it happens, or just say fu*k it, and do nothing?

Just thinking this through with you, Sister -- to blow it off may leave you with feelings of regret and unresolved issues. On the other hand, if you could be with him, there is always the possibility now of a breakthrough, which might free both of you from having to repeat dysfunctional scenarios again later. This is why the wise recommend resolving all relationship issues while we still have the opportunity.

I'll be sitting in the hospital tomorrow while Mazie undergoes emergency surgery, and I'll keep a thought for you in my heart.

[tenacity1]

Cerridwen it's his karma and not your fault of course. If you show him compassion, which he didn't show you, you're a better person for it and it may well give you closure. Who knows you may have the time to ask questions you need to ask. That said, my heart goes out to you. Empathy hugs..

[Cerridwen]

Posted by another bob (here)

Posted by Cerridwen (here)
Do I take a trip up there while he's still around, wait and just go to the funeral when it happens, or just say fu*k it, and do nothing?

Just thinking this through with you, Sister -- to blow it off may leave you with feelings of regret and unresolved issues. On the other hand, if you could be with him, there is always the possibility now of a breakthrough, which might free both of you from having to repeat dysfunctional scenarios again later. This is why the wise recommend resolving all relationship issues while we still have the opportunity.

I'll be sitting in the hospital tomorrow while Mazie undergoes emergency surgery, and I'll keep a thought for you in my heart.

Thank you, Bob. Both you and your dear Mazie will be in my heart as well.

As for going up and seeing him again, that's kinda what I was thinking. There are a lot of 'buts' that keep popping up in my head. I'm trying to figure out if they are legitimate or just excuses.

[Cerridwen]

Posted by Borden (here)
This is really hard. God, I'm a mess. Come and save me, someone. There are no exit doors and I need someone to come and invent one for me.

p.s. Stop defiling Kirk and Spock for me. You know who you are.

Borden, I can't save you, but if you have plenty of tissues, I'll come sit in the dark with you.

[Zebra]

Cerridwen,

Sweet heart that you are. Go with that heart of yours, it is a marvellous one. I look at that beautiful little tot face and think - now who would turn that away - that is still you, Cerridwen.
So, if you do decide to go, know that it would be a gift to your father - as Tenacity1 says - you will be a better person for it. You have some indecision here .. tells me that you still care enough to consider being with him at this time. Showing you still care, because he is your father, in spite of your history together, is an enormously big thing to do.

I am putting in my love line to you. Hope this post is finding you with a knowing of what to do - and that you are already on your path.

Take care and my best of wishes,
Zebra

[Zebra]

Posted by another bob (here)
I'll be sitting in the hospital tomorrow while Mazie undergoes emergency surgery, and I'll keep a thought for you in my heart.

Bob, I need to send you and Mazie both my thoughts and love lights too. With you, my friend - in spirit - in ether. I´m out there and on here.

Zebra xox

[Zebra]

Posted by Borden (here)
This is really hard. God, I'm a mess. Come and save me, someone. There are no exit doors and I need someone to come and invent one for me.

p.s. Stop defiling Kirk and Spock for me. You know who you are.

Borden, hold on because the best times are yet to come. You are so special, man. We are here to love you and entertain you. And one day, you will laugh again at Kirk and Spock caught up in random moments of high strangeness.

We are behind YOU, Borden xox

[Zebra]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)
I feel like I'm in a room full of voyeurs! have none of you anything to say about thine own evolution?

I can tell you this for free, Borden and I are not going to be monumentally fighting on a regular basis just to provide you lot with some real time evolution!

No, we'll probably be fighting because he has temporarily failed to see how brilliant and fabulous I am. But it's not a spectator sport! Now there's the reality TV show that hasn't happened yet- although it probably has in Japan.

Darlin, you have given your weight in gold on this thread .. and more some. Voyeur - naaah! You and Borden have not wheeled out the juicy stuff yet

No, I just dine on you one at a time .. I like reading you, both, and taking it in. What you have to say, obviously about your own history - that is always a great canvas to view from. It´s what you are making sense of, the meaning that you are extracting from your knowledge and experience - that is what I spend time on. Sometimes, trying to understand and spending the time - in silence here - allowing it to sit within me.

I couldn´t be b""ggered to weigh in with my evolution right now. I´ve written some down here but it is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Quick stream of consciousness, personal inventory (because right now is all that is important)

I am aware of my body at the moment, not happy in it. It is playing host to something inside of me right now, and I don´t know what name to give it. It is a sound - like crickets - but there are no crickets in these parts - wildlife also is very quiet - and my legs feel like they are expanding, there is a buzzzing, fizzzy thing going - and I feel like I am going to blurt into something else. I am also receiving cold, cold chills - these come in waves - I also note thoughts at the time - and feel that my body is talking to me. Punctuating around me, between my acts, my thoughts, my feelings. I think, no I feel like I must pay attention. Ask the question, then live with the first answer that comes along.

Trust. That is the word that just popped in.

[Borden]

Intraphase, that was all pretty bloody interesting ... what did any of it mean?

Cerridwen, you are so lovely, thank you.

Curtis, you are lovely too. Not in that way though. Slap on shoulder. Good talk.

Bob, my love to you and Mazie.

(p.s. Zebra is amazingly lovely too ... but I genuinely do go through trauma when nice things are said about me. That's got to be an English thing.)

[Calz]

Posted by another bob (here)

I'll be sitting in the hospital tomorrow while Mazie undergoes emergency surgery, and I'll keep a thought for you in my heart.

Thanks for the update.

Of course, you and Mazie will be our thoughts as well.

Cal

[Calz]

Posted by Borden (here)

This is really hard. God, I'm a mess. Come and save me, someone. There are no exit doors and I need someone to come and invent one for me.

Sure I'll save you my son.

Lay your hands upon your computer.

You *DO* have a major credit card do you not???

[songsfortheotherkind]

Because we all have stuff going on and I want to remember that love and beauty the way I experience these are ultimately the way that I want to walk in every moment.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSMPKVREECE

[songsfortheotherkind]

Posted by Cerridwen (here)

I'm in the O.R., sitting quietly in the corner until I'm needed, thinking about what the hell I'm supposed to do about my dad.

Very long story short, he was an a**hole who abandoned me as a child, but always spoiled my brother. I haven't seen or talked to him in 10 years. Now, he's dying. They took him to surgery yesterday for what they thought was his appendix and found a bunch of cancer instead. He's already on oxygen 24/7 and has major heart problems.

He lives up in No California, I'm in Southern Cal. So, what am I supposed to do? Do I take a trip up there while he's still around, wait and just go to the funeral when it happens, or just say fu*k it, and do nothing?

I'm trying to evolve, but its bring back a flood of very hurtful memories as a kid.

*holds you gently, talking in your ear while I cradle you back against me*

This is because you asked me to tell this story here.

Have I ever told you the story of my mother's death? She died in 2007, in April, of breast and lung cancer, five months before Lyddie. When she was originally diagnosed she was in Perth, the other side of Australia from me, and she spent maybe 10 months getting treatment there. My sisters were constantly talking to me about her, updating me about her illness and I kept asking them not to, telling them that I didn't care- and I didn't. It wasn't bothering me one iota that she was being consumed by what I thought of as her own poison and self loathing coming home to roost.

I wasn't actually mad at her for the stuff when I was a kid, I'd done so much work on that it felt cleared; I had decided in '95 to have nothing to do with her after she tried to use the authorities to get custody of my two sons- she was going through relationship troubles and had decided that my boys were just the ticket for fixing it- so I hadn't spoken to her for years by the time she got sick. I didn't speak to her the whole time she was getting treatment in Perth either- I was quite ok with the thought of her dying without saying another word to her.

In the beginning of 2007 my mother came back to the eastern states to be near my sisters as the treatment wasn't working. I'd been doing heaps of processing due to a series of seminars and EFT work I'd been embracing and an awareness in me came to the surface about how much stuff I was still carrying about my mother. I made the decision to do a three day intensive- the one where the glasses analogy came from- and in the first day had a bucketload of revealing about how much my stuff with my mother was crippling me on really deep levels. One of the things we had to do in the early session on the first day was pick the individual that we had the most issues with in our lives- no prizes for guessing mine. So I spent three days getting really really angry with the leader of the seminar who chose to really focus on me and a few others.

I really got how much wasted energy and life force was going into holding onto this story of how my mother should have been different somehow- she wasn't, and that was how it was and what did I want to do with that? I gradually understood that letting go of my story of her was something I needed to do for me more than anyone else; I needed to release my *Self* from the story, so that I didn't have to be the kid in that story anymore, I could create a new platform for me to move through the world in that didn't start with 'once upon a time there was a little girl whose mother didn't love her'. I wanted to be the girl from Ever After, rescuing her Self and being able to truly decide for my Self who and what I am, what I wanted.

So on the lunchbreak of the third day I rang my mother in hospital. I told her what I was doing and why, and that I was releasing the both of us from the debt that I'd been holding against her. I talked with her until the phone ran out of credit and said everything that mattered to me to say. My partner paid for my tickets to Victoria that week and I traveled the 1200 ks to see her in hospital. She was still optimistic at that stage that she was going to make it. I spent a lot of time with her that week, with my sisters, in the hospital; we laughed a lot and we spent time holding her hands while she was scared when she couldn't breathe. She never told me she was sorry. I went back home after that week thinking she was going to get better and spent a lot of time on the phone with her where she'd tell me that she was confident things were improving. Less than six weeks later I was back beside her bed; she'd slipped into the coma the night before and I never got to say anything more to her. My youngest sister and I stayed awake for two days, not wanting her to go unseen:she waited until we'd fallen asleep exhausted beside her bed and she left within 10 minutes. It is the strangest thing, sitting beside someone and seeing their chest not move- I kept waiting for her to start breathing again, it was so weird.

I washed her later that morning- there was a ridiculous moment when I was standing there waiting for the water to heat because I didn't want the washcloth to be cold- and we put her favorite outfit on her, did her hair and her nails, and put a bright scarf around her head. She'd left instructions that she didn't want a funeral but I was the eldest daughter, I'd been the one to hold things together when I was a kid and I felt like it was my path to help send her home, so I went to the parlour on that morning and walked beside her coffin, singing soft Maori farewell chants until I wasn't allowed to go any further. I put a letter on top of her coffin in which on one side I had made a list of all her qualities that I wanted to take with me, and on the other side everything that I wanted her to take with her, and I stood in the doorway, singing and farewell dancing those hand wavy, footstompy Maori dances while I watched her coffin disappear, the last thing being the letter flying up in the heat like a leap of joy. In that moment I felt both the weight and the obligation of being her daughter lift from my shoulders and heart and I waited until the furnace doors had closed and I walked away.

In the end, they are just Beings who lost their way and we have it in our hands to release the debts or to make them take them wherever they're going. I didn't do it because of some idea about being a 'better person', I did it because I want to live in a 'Verse where I have that kind of peace, where it is possible for all Beings to have that peace. No debts. No stories. I have no idea if my mother got what she needed out of it, I just know that I did and that was enough for me.

It's not always the way, the way that I took with her- when my molesting stepfather died a few years ago I did a ceremony where I took all the nightmares from me and sent them out into the Field to return wherever they belonged, because they belonged to him and not me. Then I called my Shine back home, the bits that he had taken. I didn't send hate, I didn't send peace either- I just sent the memories of his actions and that was all he was going to get from me.

You know that whatever path you take you will have my absolute and unquestioning support. You don't have to forgive anything, do anything or be anything that doesn't ring true for you, ever, no matter how that looks to anyone else. You're a beautiful spirit and a bright heart and I love you. Take the time to find what works for you and do that.

*hugs you* That's what I think, and we both know that I'm a slightly crazy, part Maori nonhuman weirdo with a strange world view.