Welcome to The Pub At the End of the Universe.

[Cerridwen]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)

Oh, nommy- pie! *piggles a piece and stashes a piece in the fridge for my Cerridwen*

Oooh, just found my slice of pie! Thanks, I love pumpkin too.

[songsfortheotherkind]

A beautiful song in its own right...

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00ZHah-c0hQ

[Calz]

Going to submit another morsel to the Pub Patrons for the virus sniff test.

Think this is valid but certainly interested in what others have to offer. Not sure who first posted it but it came to my attention from Lord Sid on another forum. Ties in with the Gnostic materials and Archons etc (love Nash's book as well as Jay Weidner's material on the subject).

Anyhoo ... if we are to be talking about Lou Baldin then the information brought out in this piece is certainly worthy of throwing into the mix for consideration. It could add to the convolution of the matter ... or dramatically simplify it depending on what resonates.


http://www.sharedwisdom.com/article/...nn-genie-egypt

[Mad Hatter]

@Songs

Welcome to the universe sized game of 'Where's Wally?'

Oops, I've spent so much time looking for Carmen Sandiego I had no idea Wally had gone missing...

Although I'm pretty sure they are both on this map somewhere...

[songsfortheotherkind]

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCE_aqeX9ek

Go sing, too loud
Make your voice break - Sing it out
Go scream, do shout
Make an earthquake...

You wish fire, would die and turn colder
You wish, your love, could see you grow older
We should always know that we can do anything

Go drum, do go out
Make your hands ache - Play it out
Go march through crowds
Make your day break...

You wish silence, released noise in tremors
You wish, I know it, surrender to summer
We should always know that we can do everything

Go do, you'll know how to
Just let yourself, fall into landslide

Go do, you'll know how to
Just let yourself, give into low tide

Go do!

Tie strings to clouds
Make your own lake - Let it flow
Throw seeds to sprout
Make your own break - Let them grow

Let them grow (Endless summers)
Let them grow (Endless summers)

(Go do endless summers)

You will survive, we'll never stop wonders
You and sunrise will never fall under

You will survive, we'll never stop wonders
You and sunrise will never fall under
We should always know that we can do anything

Go do!

[songsfortheotherkind]

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOd9zWdH2dQ

You grow, you roar
Although disguised
I know you

You'll learn to know

You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow through the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside

You'll...
You'll learn to know

I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see
I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free

You sound so blue
You now are gloom

You're now so blue
You now are gloom

I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be

[songsfortheotherkind]

Ok. I'm making my Self do this, because I'm no longer worried about experiencing rejection or getting hammered over it. Many sincere and grateful thanks to Borden for getting me over that, and many other blocks I has as well, even if the path wasn't the one I thought I was walking.

*******************************

This is especially written with much love to my beloved gargoyle, my Otherkind family, and the one who watches from the forest.




I'm going to write this out hitman style- I'm just going to sit here and write furiously, ignore everything else, keep the Bat for Lashes /Cure mashup on loop, and write until I can't bear it anymore/life gets in the way. I'll do each installment like that until I've got the basics done.

This is the history that I was born with. It took me decades to find the language: for instance, I still don't have my language from back then, and so I really struggled with words until things came to me from other directions. I can remember my mother's reaction when she first read Eric von Daniken's book Chariots of the Gods- she came to me with the book and a strange look on her face; she said 'this man talks about some of the things that you talk about' and showed me some pictures, and I told her about them in enthusiastic small child fashion.

Her church had a different view of things. I ended up in hospital. We know how that one goes.

I got the name Anunnaki decades ago, when someone told me that they'd read a book by a guy who talked about the same thing and he called that race Anunnaki. I could never hear the old languages, although I used to talk in strange languages in my sleep when I was a kid. I also do when I'm channeling stuff, but that's never for others. We did not call them Anunnaki.

When some of my kids were little we'd play this game where they'd come up to me and start talking in 'gibberish'- I'd flip a switch in my head and talk it back to them and we'd be off. The Empress can keep it up for at least half an hour and the interesting thing is that it settles into a lilting, singsong kind of pattern of words and hand/body movements and a lot of 'pictures' being thrown back and forth, although as soon as we drop out of the space we can't hold onto what we were doing in it. I just know that there is absolutely no question that we understand each other clearly when we're doing that and it gets really interesting when more than two enter that world.

I also know that I am essentially blinded when I can't see someone's energetic signal clearly. It's why writing like this is my least favorite way of doing things. No transmission of signal.

All these elements of every slidey and morphing worlds.



This planet known as Earth is an avatar for a Being. This is no accident. In the beginning there was a vision of the creation of a fully sentient planetary avatar/Being that would be the first of many scattered across the multiverse, a series of dimensional stargates that would link the multiverse with physical portals that could support an almost endless expression of physical and non-physical incarnates. This planet now called Earth is indeed the Mother, the Elder Sister, the beginning of the vision- her daughter/sister worlds are still glowing, spinning into consciousness, connected to the great Song that began all that time/no time ago...

(As an aside, it's ironic, isn't it, all that running around looking for specific stargates and portals and specific doorways, when the whole time they're living on a gigantic stargate...)

Those who are sensitive to the energies here know that there are places on this planet that make one's hair stand on end, where there are clear connections to energies and frequencies that have nothing at all to do with the energy of the homo sapiens. Indeed, there are some places that appear to actively reject homo sapiens energy with a sharp toothed and hostile 'F*UCK OFF'. There are reasons for that, and for now all that is necessary to establish is that there are deliberately created places on this planet for the entry and support of non-human species.

That's because homo sapiens were never the first Beings here and it isn't actually their planet. But that's jumping ahead.

The vision of this great co-creation was that these multidimensional planetary gates would be living Universities, a giant biological and sentient interactive space where the co-creative efforts of a vast amount of expressions of Being could come together and create long term projects and relationships across many dimensions and frequencies. It was the vision of a number of Beings of many expressions, incarnate and non, and was pulled together like the tiny heart of the great spiral galaxies.

It was decided that it would be a planet on which there would be much water, because across the multiverse one of the connectors is water; water is a substance that actively holds memory. As a child I was always playing with the water and it was me that taught my mother how to interact with it by placing her palms flat on the surface and letting her mind go quiet, doing the thing in her body that I've come to call 'expanding' (which is deliberately opening all the internal gates as wide as one can). I just always 'knew' about the water without being able to explain what it was that I knew. Water held information, vast quantities of it. This is one of the reasons the water is under attack- they're trying to wipe all the ancient memories out of the system and cut the physical connection to the rest of the multiverse so that they can get to the vast energetic heart of Gaia. That's the energy they're actually after. They want her heart. It's the last pure energy on this planet.

They're never going to get it, but that's another digression.

So the vision coalesced and we knew that it could only go ahead when the right Being came forward, one that wanted to experience the process of incarnating into a planetary avatar. Not all planets are sentient; some simply hold the space for a specific expression of frequency and some are in the process of becoming sentient. Some, however, are the avatars of great Beings that have chosen the process for their own experience and evolution, as well as expression of their great creative impulse. The Being that I have come to call Gaia is one of these, and for those that can connect with zher on that level, it becomes obvious that zhe is something beyond special.

(Recently someone wrote of connecting to the earth by sending cords down to the heart of the planet. I never, ever have done it that way, nor could I: it's always the other way, I open and connect and the cords come *up* to me. I wait for zhur to connect with me, I don't want to go invading her space, it's interfering with another Being's avatar. Zhe knows I'm there when I'm connecting with her.)

So this stunning and wondrous Being was inspired by the vision and felt the call inside and began the long process of crafting her planetary body. Any kind of avatar creation is a delicate process and interweaving of complex energies, which is why some planets die the same way that some embryos die; it takes a degree of experience- or the support of some other experienced and skilled Beings- to create an avatar that is sufficiently connected to the signal to be able to function and support the download, while not being so solid that the signal is cut. That's in part what death is, too strong an identification with the physical avatar to the point where the download can no longer happen in a high enough way to keep the biology functioning. That's also why there are true immortals on this planet- not everyone is caught in that constriction trap. Then there are those that can hack into the signal of any avatar, but that's not done lightly (*and* needs agreement of the original, before anyone starts talking 'possession' and blah blah blah)- it's all about the fluidity- and non-fluidity- of the avatar process.

It was a wondrous collaboration of Creators and creative Beings from all over the multiverse and no amount of words could ever do justice to the vision and experience; Beings brought together by the joy and possibility and new expressions of connection, co-creation, collaboration and expansion.



For those that can feel it as they walk the surface of the great Being and beautiful diamond heart of the dream, do you hear the echoes of these great visions? Do you see that the original intention and purpose still beats strongly beneath the virus, zhur pure and unwavering heart still strong in the midst of the noise and onslaught? Do you feel the joy and hear the echoes of the voices in the ground, skipping and whispering past your ears as the wind reaches out and tickles your face, always carrying the trace programs and reminders? Do you immerse your Self in the forest waters and feel the memories and information reaching out to you, urging you to remember something that maddeningly sits at the edge of your mind but almost never moves into the light?

It's not a dream. It's not delusion. It's not fantasy. It's a language that only those who carry the signal can now only get the faintest of snatches, broken and interference signal, searching for the pieces amongst a barrage of white noise. And comparatively few carry that signal now- and it really doesn't come down to a numbers game.

If I was sitting here talking with you instead of writing I would be beaming the energy and signal to you physically, letting my Shine go and reliving the space with you, so that you would know truly what I'm communicating here. The old languages were always meant to be spoken with touch and signal, even if it was across vast distances. Everything has been distorted here.

So the dance began, and the one I call Gaia began her creation process. It was long and intricate, and other dances were going on between co-creators and Creators in other parts of the multiverse, bringing the threads of the multitudes of frequencies back to this point where they could be woven in and interconnected, all the different weavers holding the space for the vibrations and delicate webs.



You know this already, don't you- it's in the blood, you see, the blood and the water within are the key and the foundation of the story as it is now: the blood and the water within, carrying the great ancient voices and patterns, fragments and images patterned against the backdrop of every sui generis singularity. The endless corridors and doorways, leading to endless possibilities and expressions- that was the idea.

It still is the idea. Do you really think we'd give up just like that? We are the universal phoenixes, rising upwards again and again, carrying the vision, the intention and purpose, no matter how much opposition there is. Not everyone does that, you know: not every Being is built for that level of focus, not every Being holds the signal.

There are reasons for that. It's become the major part of the unfolding now.

I can never stay on track. Nothing is ever linear with me.

There is a thing about visionaries: often they become so focused on the vision that it never occurs to them that there might a be a flaw in their plan, because it comes from a direction they weren't ever looking in. This was no different. So focused were we on the grand possibilities of the vision, of the positive and the high frequencies, our eyes filled with the delight of connection and the idea of gatesways across the multiverse that it just never occurred to us that it could have other consequences. The enthusiasm of those to whom it would never occur to do harm to any other Being, whose experience and expression of sui generis was absolute. It happens, even now, when those with vision never expect that lower vibration behaviours will come from their discoveries. And even had we known, really, would it have changed anything? Would we have stopped the creation, or tried to change it- or would we have kept going while holding in us the space for things to be different? Just because something can be used for harm, does that mean that the creation of it must be stopped? Chopsticks are such useful tools, yet you can still kill another Being with one. Some things just are.

We didn't look at all the back doors. And things happened as a result: terrible and unspeakably horrendous things that seemed at first to be the ending of the vision.

And then the wonder revealed itself and everything made much more sense- but we're not at that bit yet...

[Zebra]

Thanks Calz,

That was a wonderful read. It shifts my thinking, in a healthy way. And I now have a understanding about orbs. Good message for humans as well, we have no one to blame but ourselves. LOL. Fascinating.

Zebra

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)
Going to submit another morsel to the Pub Patrons for the virus sniff test.

Think this is valid but certainly interested in what others have to offer. Not sure who first posted it but it came to my attention from Lord Sid on another forum. Ties in with the Gnostic materials and Archons etc (love Nash's book as well as Jay Weidner's material on the subject).

Anyhoo ... if we are to be talking about Lou Baldin then the information brought out in this piece is certainly worthy of throwing into the mix for consideration. It could add to the convolution of the matter ... or dramatically simplify it depending on what resonates.


http://www.sharedwisdom.com/article/...nn-genie-egypt

[songsfortheotherkind]

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQhqikWnQCU

I think it would be impossible to be in a bad mood if one could sing like this. Also, being in possession of such an excellent hat helps.

[songsfortheotherkind]

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)
Going to submit another morsel to the Pub Patrons for the virus sniff test.

Think this is valid but certainly interested in what others have to offer. Not sure who first posted it but it came to my attention from Lord Sid on another forum. Ties in with the Gnostic materials and Archons etc (love Nash's book as well as Jay Weidner's material on the subject).

Anyhoo ... if we are to be talking about Lou Baldin then the information brought out in this piece is certainly worthy of throwing into the mix for consideration. It could add to the convolution of the matter ... or dramatically simplify it depending on what resonates.


http://www.sharedwisdom.com/article/...nn-genie-egypt

Let me say in advance that this dialogue did not occur in English nor in Arabic but rather in the non-verbal communication modality that I conceive of as ‘think-feeling.’ My job, as always, is to translate and reconstruct the entirety of the contact after the fact from blocks of information that I can recall and transcribe into written notes.

Awesome socks!! I've posted this before I've even read beyond this point, simply because THAT bit there is what I try to describe to so many others and what has, at various time, gotten me hammered. Yay for the 'think-feeling', not so yay for the enormous struggle that it can be to find the words to go with the ten tons of information 'think-feeling' transmits. No wonder I struggle with language so much.

I'm going to respond as I read it.

J: Who can say what is written on another person’s soul? We cannot purposefully influence their destiny without tampering with their agreement.

HW: Agreement with who…?

J: With the higher organizing intelligences...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- this is SO awesome!! Clever Jinni! So clever.

J: Oh… so you know about them… (The Jinn’s field brightened reflecting excitement.) The archons are not true spirits. They are mind beings, mental entities many of who were created by humans as thought-forms. Many of these function as attachments… as mental parasites.

HW: How do they do that?

J: They feed on the energy… on the attention paid to them by humans. This includes the energy generated by human belief systems. But they are not true spirits and they will cease to exist if nobody pays attention to them any more. The ones you call ‘the archons’ are those that we call ‘the deceivers,’ and like us they are not creative. But they can mimic and they can take on forms in response to human belief systems.

*flaps hand excitedly* YES YES YES! So clever, Jinni. So much coming out into the open without getting the Self killed in the process. Always a good move.

Oh nongods, Calz, I'm having a spasm here: my energy body is literally running around the room in glee and I am having to flap a lot. *laughing* Of course, it's going to go south at some point and the virus will kick in somewhere, it always does, but for now it's squee. Also, the stuff with time doesn't just happen with disincarnates fwiw. I still really struggle with it- I thought for awhile I was getting the hang of it but it's all gone south again.

Before I keep reading, here's the clues to where the virus is going to kick in- as soon as hierarchies are mentioned, and bullsh!t spirituality. Well, technically, at this point, the hierarchies have already been mentioned, so they'll get their airing. Wonder where else the heteronomy will kick in...

Oh, and if anyone really thinks they can control a jinn with honey, good luck with that. Yeah right. Stupid enough to swap the sacred name for honey? Never heard of the story of Esau and Jacob? Pffft.

J: The deceivers can take on many forms, drawing from the belief systems of humans… and… there are also visitors who come here from other places.

HW: From other worlds?

J: Yes.

Now, the *really* smart thing to do at the point would have been to ask the jinni to define 'worlds', heh heh...

HW: Who are they and why do they come here?

J: They are ‘others’ and they come here as visitors.

HW: Why do they abduct humans and perform experiments on them?

J: They don’t. That is the deceivers who do that.

ahahahahahahaa.....awesome! *delighted*

J: The Jinn are manifestations of great spiritual force that the Gnostikoi called the Sophia. Everything that exists on this world exists as manifestations of the Sophia.

HW: Who or what is the Sophia?

J: She is the soul of this world.

HW: Does she have a physical aspect?

J: Yes. This world is her physical aspect.

HW: Where did Sophia come from?

J: She came from the center of…

(The Jinn used a strange term to me. In asking for clarification, I was given to understand that the Sophia came from the core of our galaxy.)

*excited bouncing* See what the jinni did there? He's got the uplink going and is using the guy's own paradigms to map the concepts to him. I also love how the guy doesn't know how to negotiate the jinni's reality- he just lets the jinni slide. lol. Clever jinni.

Then some other stuff that is awesome but is too long to quote, then THIS:

HW: Who or what is Yahweh-Jehovah-Allah?

J: He is the arch deceiver. You might call him the lord archon after the terminology of the Gnostikoi.

*dances delightedly*

EH EHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEEHEHEH.

fabbo!

Ok, here's some ten million dollar questions that weren't asked-

are all physical Beings here human? and where did those Beings come from? Were there other races before these ones? Where did they go?

*dances*

There is less virus in this transmission than you might think. The jinni is telling the truth about how Gaia 'dreamed' the Original races into being. It's those that the jinni is referring to as 'human', because some Otherkind don't recognise the homo sapiens as real, due to their disconnection from the cosmic spark. That's what he means about the deceivers, they cannot create: remember how I call the Anunnaki 'makers' instead of creators? They have no cosmic spark, which is why they need to feed off the energy- and why they are starving and becoming more desperate.

The jinni was moving about within the questioner's own prejudices and map- silly man, thinking that the jinni couldn't see those after being specifically caught with the uplink open: the jinni even gave him the heads up about that and the still didn't get it!

Silly billies, always thinking that they're smarter than the Beings they're asking questions of.

*flashes suddenly sharp teeth*

This has made me very Other suddenly. One day these horns are going to sprout from my head for real.

Thanks so much Calz. I'd forgotten about the jinn. This was a cool reminder.

[songsfortheotherkind]

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)

http://www.sharedwisdom.com/article/...nn-genie-egypt

eh, though you know what's likely to happen now, because I didn't have the histories up *before* this- 'oh, you're just bastardising that thing you read!'

oh noes!

See, before, this would have really bothered me and made me jittery, but now I'm laughing at my Self about that and being ok with whatever.

I like this new way much more. :D

[songsfortheotherkind]

[songsfortheotherkind]

does anyone know if he's ok? He messaged me awhile ago and then disappeared. I don't like not knowing if he's alright or not.

That's it. The Club needs a private clubhouse. ><

[songsfortheotherkind]

Oh, I wish I had more hands, I'd be writing three articles at once! So I'm going to have to do it the slow way again- I'll be so thrilled when the think-speech comes back online, and does away with all this confusion.

Ok, I have the Bat for Lashes mashup on continuous loop and I have some time before the youngest beans awake. Let's see what I can get done.


This is a story about some tricky legal contortions that are done by TPTW in the macro and how the population at large does it in the micro. Wait. I have to reboot firefox. Bu*ggers. Brb.

Alright. That's that done. Tricksy contortions.

The way the law- which is the legal fiction that is pushed at individuals every day as being 'law'- fundamentally works is via a method called constru(e)ment. Essentially, this is also how government operates: you vote for an individual based on a few key issues. Politician gets in on this ticket and then starts doing a whole heap of really awful things. Constituents get knickers in a twist and politician responds with 'you voted me in, you now have to accept everything that I do: because you agreed with me on these things here. I have the mandate to rule as I see fit'. The logic of this is that, if you show your agreement with them in one area, you are agreeing with ALL their actions and policies- "I was right here, it therefore means I am right everywhere".

The courts do the same thing:hey consider that if you agree to obey *one* of their fictional acts and statutes, then you are implicating and binding your Self into obedience to them ALL. There is no little bit pregnant with these guys- it's black and white, yes and no, no shades of grey, no doubt or rebuttal- as soon as they get agreement- with full knowing or not- on *ONE THING*, they then push aside every other inherent right and your sui generis and will constantly point to that ONE THING and say 'did you or did you not agree to this?' and when you try to object with that yes, you DID with that ONE THING, and you WEREN'T agreeing to everything else, they refuse to hear anything past the 'Yes I agreed to that' and they put you into a box that you cannot get out of by discussion.

So, construement in politics and in the courts. If you look at the education system, it's the same. Any of the dominant paradigm's institutions, including religion, operate on construement- "did you do this thing?" "yes, but-" "NO BUTS. You are a sinner, that's it! And here is the story about sinners! This is YOU." Blah blah blah.

Now, look at the way most individuals deal with each other. I experience most of my interactions with others as some weird and unpleasant kind of game where I'm leaping about like a fiddler's elbow trying to stay out of their construements and assumptions- 'ah, so you agreed with me here which means-' 'uh, no, actually, it doesn't' 'what do you mean, it doesn't? You agreed with me there, didn't you?' 'Yeah, I did, and that doesn't mean I agree with anything else-' 'oh, so you were lying when you said that?' 'uh, no, not at all-'

0-o

Now, what I have realised about my Self is that I do the same thing. I just think I'm more justified in it, because I generally know more about certain stuff than others, particularly about how energy and frequency behave. What I do is I get caught up in watching the contortions of the other individual and I start getting jittery because I don't want to get trapped in their construements- so I trap them in mine.

Part of how that works is that I assume that if an individual is going to get dodgy *here* then they're going to get dodgy everywhere, and therefore the entire platform is no longer reliable, and I have to immediately go into defense mode, isolate my Self back on my own safe- but distorted and misinterpreting- platform and operate from there. I refuse to come out of there because I simply don't want the pain and struggle of fighting my way out of someone else's noise. So I become the noise that *they* are experiencing. Then connection is broken, defense and constriction become the experience for both, with both refusing to budge because the environment feels utterly unsafe, on the edge of an abyss that neither wants to plunge into again.

At least, that's how it seems.

What's going on underneath is even more interesting. What I'm realising is that these defense patterns are embedded in the dominant paradigm's constant push towards heteronomy and homogeny, even when they appear to be reasonable and explainable to the individual. What lies beneath is always the thing that I'm looking for, and I can see that even when I can create a really clear pattern of events or connections that lead me to particular conclusions, that's not necessarily what's happening: I'm being used again as an agent for the virus, just in a really really subtle way.

And y'all know I'm not going to tolerate *that* crap. Even when getting below the seemingly safe platform temporarily sends me into a feeling of parachute tangled freefall. I don't want to repeat virus stuff blurred under the guise of being my Self; it's not want I want to put out into the collective.

So what is happening, really, in that space? I'm construing someone else into something they don't necessarily see themselves as, under the subconscious justification of 'I have to keep my Self safe--> and now this individual is not safe for me --> because I've experienced things in the past that look like this thing --> and I got hurt badly --> I've learned that others are prepared to sacrifice me if it suits them to do so --> I am not going to let that happen again



--> so because it has some similarities to that event it must be the same sort of thing' --> defense kicks in --> the other person experiences an abrupt disconnect on my part and a wall of defense, with me watching from the other side of the foot thick glass.





I've used these defenses against that construement all of my life. I have never known how to stay out of the firing line without them- again and again, construed into the adult world of bizarre insanity and badness that I couldn't get out of. Even now, the thought of not retreating behind those walls is frightening, and if I could do it *without* construing the other at the same time, I'd do that instead. But I can't see, at this point, how to have both in the space.

See, I'm not talking here about walking away from a clearly toxic situation; that's a different thing entirely, because it's a final action. There's no need for glass shields or defenses, because there's no engagement whatsoever. I make the break and that's it; I go through the cleansing rituals of cutting the energetic cords and I walk away from the whole thing, leaving it behind.

The thing is, there are few connections that can actually be so clearly cut. It's usually *after* everything else has been tried. What I've noticed is, that there's a sense of woundedness that lurks around the glass wall thing; I'm not disconnecting utterly and in fact disconnection is the opposite of what I'm going for; I'm still watching the other individual, the energies and frequencies play out, but I'm doing it behind the thick glass, I have heavy filters and defenses on because I have experienced that only these sorts of connections can gut me.

There's no sui generis in that space. I see that. There might be the idea that I'm living into my sui generis- and in an evolutionary sense, I am- it's just that it's not the place that it looks like. There's no sui generis there for the other individual.

Sometimes that's how it goes, it's true, because you cannot behave towards another with a greater sense of sui generis than they themselves possess. It's why there's no point in having some kinds of discussions with the majority of individuals. It's not arrogance that causes me to simply not engage with the majority, it's the desire to stay on my own path without a huge degree of drama. And I'm not talking about those individuals in this exploration anyway.

I'm talking here about the ones that have approached me with a sense of wanting the high level connections. I've realised there's often something in me waiting for the other shoe to drop, so that I can slam down the defenses the I will not be leashed, chained, construed, sacrificed, but that's not where the problem lies; the problem lies in how I go about that. There's a big difference between ferocious and unyielding defenses, and the graceful ability to sidestep effortlessly, only having to fight when all else has *truly* failed.

If I'm behind the glass wall, something else is going on. I'm not disengaging, I'm engaging with something else: I'm trying to heal the past without getting hurt again, I'm trying to engage the energy that I experienced as being ferocious and that hurt me, in a way that won't allow me to get hurt again. The problem is in the initial premises- by the time I've gone behind the glass the true issues have been running all along in the background.

*turns to look behind me at my glass fortress*

f*uck. There's a part of me that really, really doesn't want me to leave that behind. But if I don't, then I'm stuck in this part of the map. And sometimes, this particular defense is going to be useful, although not in the way I've been using it. I know I can't bring this fortress with me *and* get to where I want to go with those I want to let in. So the key is to get more familiar with where it would be useful to have that sort of defense/shield, and where not.

When I think about that, I see my Self walking through the matrix with the shield beneath my skin, in liquid form. Huh. It only activates if someone tries deliberately to invade or violate the boundaries, but what I'm seeing in that space is that my aura acts far more as a filter than it currently does. The colors are also different, which is interesting. So I'm in the middle of this shifting and pulsating shimmer of light, and it's actually directly responding to me differently than I'm used to.

Sh!t. I'm doing this hack in real time. This is making me extremely jittery because I'm still really not sure on some levels that I want to leave the fortress behind. Crap! I can't bullsh!t my Self either! F*uck. Watch me flounder.

Ok, this post has now turned into a stream of consciousness hack. Scroll down to the line of ****** if you want to skip the process. I'm literally talking to my Self here, I want to keep a record of the process.



Hmm. So I come back to the notion that the fortress isn't against those in the matrix, I already have a fluid system of defense against that noise. The fortress is specifically against those that would be a part of the inner sphere. It doesn't happen with women. So it's specifically designed as a male frequency thing. Which means I still experience certain kinds of males and interactions with males of a certain type as interlinked with the fortress. So backhack, backhack...

It's there to defend against something in me. I betray me first, which lets others do things that I experience as betrayal of me, and then I need a defense against the experience and I focus the defense against them, but really it's my own betrayal of Self that I don't want to see. I betray my Self because I won't say 'no' to things that I don't like, because I've bought into the distortions of others about what saying 'no' means. I won't say no because I don't want to be rejected, but I also don't want to be accepted under those terms, so I make them the bad guy. There's also something that they do that triggers the construement thing, but again if I back track that enough they can only do that if I allow it.

Hrm. So does that mean I actually think that most men are essentially betrayers? Hrm. oooooh, a ghost not! Aha! found you! so what are you running- the ghost not of 'all men are betrayers at heart, yes' / 'we know this is not true' / 'the ones we'll come into contact will be betrayers because that's our experience' / 'that's heteronomy-has no sui generis/ 'who cares? men suck' / 'uh-' / 'yeah, that one's not gonna fly' / 'not interested in homogeny, so no such thing as 'men', only individuals / 'well b*ugger it, that's annoying, now I have to treat them as individuals and not a collective' / 'uh-' / 'shut up. I don't want to know.' / 'YOU have been in control of this? no wonder it's been a clusterf*uck!' / 'now we get to be conscious about this too' / 'uh, that doesn't feel so great, actually' / 'it's the only way forward' / 'bugger. ok. yeah, we can see that. le sigh'.

it only works through construement. Always through that. Sui generis and construement of any kind can't co-exist in the same space- construement is a tool of the homogeny, the categorisation of individuals into groups, thus losing their sui generis signal. Huh. So what do I do with the experience of being construed by others? How do I experience that?

*paces back and forth across the signal, watching the patterns, moving my fingers as I search*

It's always the experience of a loss of Self that sets it up. That's the foundation. I stop looking at me. I keep having to orient back to that. That's where it all falls down. I keep getting slammed in these bl*oody images searches too. So I'm on the right track.

I need to have the parameters set differently. I need to keep scanning the signal of connection for the construement and what I'm doing to me and to the other individual. As soon as I move out of sui generis I have to stop everything and reconfigure again, or else it's going to go unconscious and straight back into the noise and construement. The sui generis process means that I do things that slowly, or else lose the signal.

The depths of that which has been lost through the noise of the virus. So it's about getting over my reluctance to use my Self as my own marker. Ok. I get that. I have no idea what that will do to the experience of someone else trying to construe me into their noise, because I don't want to be vulnerable to those who are vicious with that. Which means doing things slowly again, moving more carefully with the trigger spaces, as well as rearranging my own interpretations based on my defenses, which are virus laden distortions.

huh. ok. I can wear that. it's really uncomfortable, and I can wear it.

**************************************************

huh. I wasn't planning on doing that when I sat down to write this several hours ago. So there, have a personal exploration of construement.



I'm going to take a break now and process that and then write something about the jinni interview.

[Calz]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)

This planet known as Earth is an avatar for a Being. This is no accident. In the beginning there was a vision of the creation of a fully sentient planetary avatar/Being that would be the first of many scattered across the multiverse, a series of dimensional stargates that would link the multiverse with physical portals that could support an almost endless expression of physical and non-physical incarnates. This planet now called Earth is indeed the Mother, the Elder Sister, the beginning of the vision- her daughter/sister worlds are still glowing, spinning into consciousness, connected to the great Song that began all that time/no time ago...

[Borden]

I have mingled briefly among 'normal' people. These people know nothing of astral projection, Djinn, sui generis or difficult horned creatures who write super long posts. They would not appreciate a good pie if it hit them in the face. To them, making points with a weird picture or a song would make no sense. If you presented them with a yodelling man in a magnificent hat they would conclude that there was something wrong with you. Or you were German.

It's given me a reminder that the people who come into my life and actually play any part are all ... otherly. I don't just gravitate to unusual people and vice versa ... I stumble upon them in unlikely circumstances, and the Synchronicity of it all is beautiful. Looking back, even the complete arse-hats I've known for any length of time were otherly too. They can be real trouble, believe me.

It's funny, but I was writing a novel a few years ago, which then turned into a film script, which then turned into yet another half finished project that made me want to put all words, books, films, plots and plans into a conveniently sized box with 'f*** you' written on it, and then drop kick it into space. Anyway, in that plot a rag-tag bunch of diverse people with differing energetic abilities came together, having found each other on the Internet. This plot came to me during quite a Synchronicity storm, one of those periods of evolution and of touching other worlds. It was also nowhere near my thoughts when I joined Avalon, or when Songsy started this thread, or even when we started talking about the etheric pub. Anyway, I was going to call the story 'The Others', except that creepy Nicole Kidman movie put the kibosh on that. A script I had been working on several years ago was called 'Avatar' too. Who do these bloody people think they are? Stealing my script titles ... bah! I'll just have to concentrate on my story of an industrialist billionaire playboy genius who has to build a suit of armour in desperate straits and then goes on to join a team of super-heroes. I'm pretty sure no-one's done anything like that before.

Anyway, here's to the Others.

[Calz]

Posted by Borden (here)

Anyway, here's to the Others.

Missing you we have ...

... to the Others ...

[songsfortheotherkind]

Apparently, the Universal Creator is a complete twat in need of some serious meds.


Some threads should simply be dissolved in a vat of lime and buried in an unmarked grave in the woods, and I'm just the ghoul to do it.

.

[songsfortheotherkind]

Posted by Borden (here)
They would not appreciate a good pie if it hit them in the face.

wait, why didn't that work?


Welcome home, you moody bas*tard. Said as only an Australian can say 'bas*tard'.

[Calz]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)


Apparently, the Universal Creator is a complete twat in need of some serious meds.


Some threads should simply be dissolved in a vat of lime and buried in an unmarked grave in the woods, and I'm just the ghoul to do it.

.

I think I get it ... but I'll hold my tongue