Welcome to The Pub At the End of the Universe.

[REILLY]

[Katyani]

Posted by songsfortheotherkind (here)

Posted by Katyani (here)
Songs, thank you for sharing parts of that excavation process here with us.

It's interesting to me that you use an underwater image- I haven't actually spoken about how most of this process is underwater for me. In another world/timespace it's been undertaken in company, and in this one it's solo and I'm having to work much much harder and with more errors, and it's interesting to me you used a diver.



Have you ever seen The Big Blue? That's always the risk for those who like to dive that deep...

I will now. The title alone..
Songs, I hear you, even underwater. I know the intensity, the quiet, deep intensity, that strange, almost impossible feat of prism-like precision work in combination with total submergence and letting go. Something tells me you will be just fine.

[WhiteFeather]

For you Calz. Although I dont frequent this thread much i heard your call out to the universe. This song always got me through some uneasy and struggling times. I created this Video awhile back. Hope it cheers you. Ps Stop shouting so much into the quantum field. People are trying to rest here. : )

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ0I2N-Pa-g

[REILLY]

http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...l=1#post269768

[REILLY]

[Katyani]

Posted by Borden (here)
I can't believe I haven't seen that film yet, Katyani ... I keep meaning to buy the DVD. The trailers I saw looked amazing. I just looked at a list of all the Tintin book titles, and experienced one of those memory jolt moments. The way we are immersed in books as children is really something. I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that the tiny people in our avatar pictures knew how to engage a story. That's a quality I try to keep alive in myself (apart from my Captain Haddock moments, obviously), because the acceptance and lack of preconception makes for a far more magical world.

I think it's perfect that you haven't seen that movie yet, now it's an experience still waiting. Isn't it starting to look like movie night here at the pub? So far, we have three: The Avengers, Faraway, So Close and The Big Blue.
I was also googling Tintin last night, all very close in my memory, too, down to the individual dialogues. I stopped short of posting cartoons, though, and fell asleep laughing, thinking about the Captain and Professor Calculus.
Yes, that total childhood immersion by which one could really engage a story and enter into it. Good on you for keeping that quality alive, I think that's commendable. If one wanted to make it all sound more sophisticated, I guess one could call it a phenomenological approach to life. But really, it's just pure, unadulterated fun and play. And magic.
Such freedom now, to write our own stories. This time, without the interruption of bedtimes, schedules and school duties.

[REILLY]

I've been long convinced that I live in a movie. Which in turn is adapted from a novel based on a true story, I suspect.

[Calz]

Posted by WhiteFeather (here)
For you Calz. Although I dont frequent this thread much i heard your call out to the universe. This song always got me through some uneasy and struggling times. I created this Video awhile back. Hope it cheers you. Ps Stop shouting so much into the quantum field. People are trying to rest here. : )

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ0I2N-Pa-g

Thanks so much WhiteFeather for your loving energy

Cone of Quantum Silence activated

PL has his Image Ninja going on today

[REILLY]

[REILLY]

[REILLY]

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jkowBtwnHM

[Alekahn]

submerged prisms we are, forgotten and slumbering ways of being
are being remembered they are. neverbeforeseen birds are
emerging from the depths and high upon shadowed cliffs...
we of other and all kind step lightly, brilliantly onto the tightropes
of density and delicate threads of destiny ~ we dance.
peering fearlessly into a seeming abyss as we twirl and spiral.

multi~faceted and agile wings becoming 'whole against the sky'.

all whilst working 'overtime', in time and
on the periphery of time!

may we truly create what we speak these coming days
may it be so. may i listen more than i speak.




blessed be




(for Calz some underground soul music while you work)

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9cgpd89Vdo

P.S. for the record, i was involved in a serious car accident right in front of
Chubby Checkers home in Valley Forge round about the early '90's.
A drunk corporate executive hit me from behind, as i was making a left turn.
The very first words out of his mouth were,
"We don't have to call the police!" Go figure.
Love Chubby...a beloved musician with verve!

[Borden]

I love that beautiful bit of writing, Alekahn.

I know some of us are not feeling our happiest right now, and I just remembered this piece and played it, and it felt good to me anyway, so I reckon it couldn't hurt to post it here.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k574ZlzTo_I

[WhiteFeather]

Posted by Calz_Avaretard (here)

Posted by WhiteFeather (here)
For you Calz. Although I dont frequent this thread much i heard your call out to the universe. This song always got me through some uneasy and struggling times. I created this Video awhile back. Hope it cheers you. Ps Stop shouting so much into the quantum field. People are trying to rest here. : )

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ0I2N-Pa-g

Thanks so much WhiteFeather for your loving energy

Cone of Quantum Silence activated

PL has his Image Ninja going on today

I got your back my brother. And I know you have mine. Soon youll be at Peace, Im sure. And then you whilst enjoy some Rest and Relaxation.


In Oneness Infinitely. <W.f.>

[WhiteFeather]

For you Calz. The working man.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDxahkQUiQE

[Calz]

Posted by WhiteFeather (here)
For you Calz. The working man.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDxahkQUiQE

My 15 year old is absolutely crazy about Rush. He has the benefit of my extensive cd collection and the good taste to appreciate the music from our era (yours and mine) as opposed to what is out there today.

As for peace ... we have some family fun in store tonight as my other son (10 year old) is in a school play so we get to go watch that.

Thanks again for your kind thoughts.

PS - Sid is posting again at TOT in case you want to drop by

[songsfortheotherkind]

Posted by Borden (here)
I love that beautiful bit of writing, Alekahn.

I know some of us are not feeling our happiest right now, and I just remembered this piece and played it, and it felt good to me anyway, so I reckon it couldn't hurt to post it here.

I absolutely love this band. Here's the song that got me started. It still makes me dance.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnAwPeqrdAk

[songsfortheotherkind]

It always is.


Here is what the signal is telling me, in ever stronger ways:

focus on what it is that you want, not what you don't want; use the inner compass to focus on, not the external noise and distraction. I'm always living looking *out* at others in a way that is entangling; it's not that I'm looking at their Art, I'm getting caught in the weeds of their stories and the program within me that says I'm supposed to do something about their entanglement and my entanglement in their stories. Then we all get caught.

I had a very real example of this in my live in relationship. I was fighting my way out of the entanglement by looking at the entanglement, which only resulted in me thrashing around horribly, which was horrible for us both: I love Triffid Hunter, I just don't love his construments and entanglements that have had me caught for the past three years. It got awful and we both went to sleep in despair and numbness because I couldn't figure out what I needed to do. I have experienced a return of my dreaming- and I'm so glad that I can't do it as lucidly as is possible yet, because I sure as heck don't want to be totally sentient in those dreams- yet in the morning I woke up with a really clear signal.

I was able to demonstrate to him how things have been for me, and what I have been caught up in, and what I'm doing about it, in a simple, clear fashion, aided by simply props and body language. It works out thusly- I look at your Art I'm fine; any sense of obligation in having to participate in your stories about me, I'm screwed; I'm going to keep looking in the direction of my compass, which is leading me towards the things that I want to participate in.

I'm not passive in my 'Verse. I experience my Self as Creator -still in training, perhaps, and still Creator- so I'm always approaching things from that perspective. I am the Artist, not a passive recipient that simply needs to accept everything directed or sent my way; there's a difference between resistance and embracing experience as the fodder of evolution; in my evolution process, there's still a sense of 'hmm, that's not working for me, what is more in harmony with my purpose and intent?' and go for that. I'm never going to sit around and accept things that are not mine; I don't have to resist them, I don't have to accept them, I can create something new with the elements I've been given.

The only way I can do that is to keep using my singular frequency to guide me. At this point in time I have to keep looking at it- the five second bump thing that's happening- and I know how fast I become adept at things, so I know it's like learning to drive, soon I'll be doing it mostly on automatic. That's what I'm doing now, it's like having a compass in my hand that I have to keep checking to orient my Self.

So I told Triffid I wasn't prepared to get entangled in his stories about me: if he finds me blah blah blah then he's not going to get any resistance from me, I'm not going to defend my Self against all that noise anymore, I'm going to accept that his stories are how he sees things and I'm going to turn towards the signal within me and keep following that.

I'm discovering how much entanglement there is in relationships; weedy, insidious entanglement that catches us in the space and can keep us from following the true signal for the rest of our lives. It did with my mother and her siblings, and my grandparents, and others I have observed; this congealing of passion into some weird kind of stasis where the two Beings are in orbit around the misshapen astroid that has become their lives, feeling like they're in motion when all they are in is a tight, repetitive orbit in a greater orbit that keeps following the same decaying path over and over again.

Relationships as Vogon spacecraft. Erk. There are those who avoid this, of course, because they either are naturally immune to getting off their path, or because they've picked up through early experience how to avoid it; my focus has been too psychonaut before now to see what was happening- heh, one of the downsides of the tendency to introversion. However, I've had some head-through-the-wall experiences lately that have forced me to pay attention and I've had my 'oh, AH!', slice of lemon around the brick moment with it all.

I have long had experience with partners that were happy to kick me when I was down, because their idea of me being down didn't tally with my own experience and so they'd kick thinking I wasn't down, I was just looking for something on the floor. I'm using my hologram crystal now and it's showing much, much more what is right for me.



I want to experience being embraced for *all* that I am, not just bits and pieces; if I'm full of stars, or if I'm horned and jet eyed, or struggling temporarily with being human and lost. I'm holding up my glittering compass and I'm living into that: I took the first step yesterday with Triffid and I'm going to keep using my signal to light up my path.

Curtis posted me a song, the lyrics of which were so wonderful they carried me into a new and different world: I discovered when I held up my compass that my signal and the world in that space matched. I was so surprised. I still haven't been able to find a picture that captures that absolute sense of wonder I felt. The magic between Pan and Selene is a different element of that expression and I love this Art. That's a signal that works for me.

So now I am exploring a new landscape, one that's always been in me *and* that I haven't really been prepared to fully step into before. I'm here now, holding my compass up and am prepared to follow it, no matter what, because I really want me.

[Chinaski]

so yeah, there i am. 2 or 3 yrs old. something. not sure, really.

note: though i appear to be Katyani's or Cerwiddan's long lost sister, i am unaware of any relation.

fact #1: many were the times that my mother was complimented on her "beautiful little DAUGHTER".
fact #2: my parents have an obscene collection of family photos, and i was defeated before i even opened the box, honestly. after 5 mins i was sweating, and after 20 i was panicking because i didn't think i'd find a single pic of myself where i didn't appear subnormal. i know i look a mile away in this one, and could be any kid really; i'll do better next time. pub promise.

Calz, my man, complain away about your job. don't hold back. a sh!t job is just as bad as anything else, really -- maybe not as traumatic seeming, maybe not as immediately disconcerting -- more like a slow suicide, actually -- but the result is the same either way: soul rot.

let me tell you guys how i lost a woman and a job in 1 night...(just happened last week, actually)

first off, don't feel bad for me; i could care less. honestly. in fact, it wouldn't be an overstatement to say that i'm thrilled. i was seeing this girl on and off for 6 months or so (college girl. beautiful. 10 years my junior. yes, i'm bragging) now, i'm not one of these cavemen that think that women belong in the kitchen, not even remotely, but if you're living with me and i'm busting my ass to pay all the bills n buy all the food etc, then i expect some sort of reciprocal form of respect. maybe make a meal here n there, do a little cleaning, dishes, so forth. reasonable, right?

well, this girl had all sorts of ideas about saving the world but couldn't wash out a coffee cup. mention this to her and she'll say: "washing coffee cups isn't important". unfortunately, it is, especially to a man who has just worked 8 hours straight plus 2 overtimes on a turret lathe. you begin by saving the world one man at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.

so at the end of this particular shift i'm as stiff as a board. can hardly put a jacket on or lift my arms. i'm driving home and i attempt to stick my left hand out of the window to indicate a left turn signal (once, while drunk, i ripped the whole blinker stick off the steering wheel in a fit of frustration (another story) since that event i've been plagued by traffic tickets, all for, you guessed it, not signaling) i just managed to get my wrist to the window to stick out 1 little finger. my arm would not lift anymore and the pain was ridiculous, so ridiculous that i began to laugh, it seemed funny as hell, that little finger sticking out in obedience to the boys in blue, the night black n empty, nobody around, and me making that chickensh!t signal to a halfwind. the laughter came and i almost crashed into a parked car while steering, laughing, trying to make it with the other lousy arm. not sure how i made it home. i decided to quit my job right then n there...

(to be continued in next post. this is getting long and i fear i'll lose it....)

[Chinaski]

so i'll try to wrap this up here...

i get home and the sink is filled with dirty dishes, half eaten tuna cans, stale n greasy water and maybe even jimmy hoffa's corpse for all i know. i lay in bed next to her and she's reading 'THe New Yorker' -- currently she's fascinated with this writer guy named Oates or Coates or Chaos or somebody, who writes exceedingly dull prose that fills the long columns between the liquor and fashion ads with yawns and then always ends up like with say this guy with a complete collection of Verdi and a bacardi hangover murdering a little 3 yr old girl in blue jumpers in some dirty new york alley at 4:13 in the afternoon. this is the New Yorkers editor's balling and subnormal idea of avant-garde sophistication -- meaning death always wins and there's dirt under our fingernails. anyway, it hit me right there n then and i knew she had to go. i usually dread these circumstances -- breaking it off with someone -- but between the job and the dishes and the New Yorker i'd had it. it was almost joyful. i cleared my throat and i think she knew it was coming. and then i began:

"baby, listen, we gotta talk..."

she didn't take it too well. there were screams n tears n tears n screams, but for once i didn't let it soften me. i ended it right then n there. and quit my job the next day. and let me tell you: i feel great! i've picked up this painting gig too, no time card to swipe, no boss, no nothin. just working at my leisure.

i know it's different for you Calz, with a family to support and all that, but if you wanna quit and become painting partners, i sure could use the help my friend