19th March 2012 05:54
Link to Post #101
Re: Sex at Dawn, an Anthropological Review of Sex
I have serious qualms about having an affair. If an affair is taken to mean a surreptitious tryst, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. If I was not content with one person, I would find somebody who was of a similar mindset and be with them rather than betray somebody for whom monogamy is important. On the other hand, if the other person knew and was happy with it, I wouldn't see the slightest bit of harm in it at all. I think for me it just comes down to respecting the other person: if you love them more than you hate monogamy, you've made your decision; if you don't then you can leave them and find somebody of a more appropriate fit. (But sleep with those other people only once you've broken off the relationship).
If you make sure to get the interpersonal integrity and respect for your partner down, what does it come down to? Nuts and bolts thrashing about and no more morality in it than hang-gliding.
For me, the distinction is one of "sure, sleep with whomever you like, just never cheat"
I wonder if there are people reading who might think me terribly dogmatic and dictatorial for saying these things. I hope most people will understand my reasoning even if they disagree. We have to remember just because something might be all right by us, it doesn't mean it will be all right by everybody and "I wouldn't have minded if x had happened to me" is not really a sound argument. I wouldn't particularly get bent out of shape if I woke up with reproductive organs or obscene words drawn/written on my face, it's part of most university experiences, but I wouldn't go around with a big marker pen saying "what's good for me is good for you"
All things are subject to intepretation, and whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
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19th March 2012 06:14
Link to Post #102