19th March 2012 14:17
Link to Post #121
Re: Sex at Dawn, an Anthropological Review of Sex
I've always believed that monogomy wasnt natural for me, that I could commit and have fidelity to a person, and that commitment and fidelity was in no way broken by my having sexual connections with others.
I really dont believe this any longer. I think I was deluding myself in order to gratify my senses and have adventures and get to know people that I wanted to be with. And all the time I was diluting my attention for my partner and weakening the energy field between us and basically shortchanging myself, him, and anyone else I was involved with.
I'm fine that I did that, but I have decided never to behave that way again. And a new germ has arisen in me which sees monogamy as a sacred contract the alchemy and depth of which is unknowable and unfathomable without entering into the arrangement and living it wholeheartedly.
Dispersal of emotional and sexual attention has it's place, and so does focus. If we dont ever focus and become laser like in that focus, we will never know what we can achieve. I am speaking of a sexual relationship as a tantric spiritual vessel that needs to be sealed and subjected to heat for transformation to take place.
I see it as a very unfashionable pont of view.. the whole unity consciousness movement is about breaking down boundaries and monogamy seems to be restrictive. I just dont see that anymore. I see that true love can be fostered and grow to unknown proportions when the commitment is there, and that distractions of others will be as nothing when the level of commitment and engrossment is deep enough.
So I guess I dont care about what bonobos or other animals do, because my sexuality is as conscious as I canmake it, and always has been. Everything we do should be a choice. A conscious choice. We can witness hormone drives. They dont have to drive us.
So! I feel a bit ass - backwards in this thread, that I'm not lauding sexual freedom as the highest good. I'm a bit 'been there, done that'.. Now I seem to have evolved an ideal,I wasnt expecting to have this point of view, it has just evolved.. it just remains to be seen if I can attract a partner into my life with whom I can live this.
So I guess my point is,if we are on a growth path, our sexual choices reflect where we are at in our personal stages of development, and what we need for our next stage of growth. Anthropology doesnt and cant take into account tantra and alchemy and the connection between sex and spirit, so apology for being a bit tangental to topic..
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19th March 2012 14:39
Link to Post #122