7th May 2012 18:29
Link to Post #1
Hey Avalon, just me begging for help again.
I feel like there's energy inside me, like a potential, waiting to get out, but it's just ...stuck.
I feel like I'm constantly giving, which I am, but it's not being received, or like it's just taken advantage of ...I don't know, there's nothing there MAKING me do it, I just really want to help people and I strive to do that, sometimes maybe to my detriment.
I feel like I'm stuck in a job and I'm not using what I have to do something bigger.
I'm very giving, and very loving and forgiving...but it feels like I give and give and give and I'm just not getting to a place I feel like I should be getting? Maybe?
I don't know guys and gals, I'm lost. I feel like I need someone like me, but no one is capable. I'm ****ing lonely and sad and I just want something to explode and then I want to walk through the rubble to the other side where everything I've been striving for is now manifest.
It's hard to go to work (medical office front desk) because it's the exact same thing everyday and I'm not helping people and people just really don't give a **** what I have to offer.
I feel like a weirdo, being nice to EVERYBODY, and that people willingly take the energy I'm trying to postively focus and just keep it for themselves.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say, or why I'm putting this here, I just need to reach out to somebody and have it heard.
Sorry for the really lame thread. Unconditional love is hard to put out when you don't feel like your stores are being replenished and I'm just so spent.
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7th May 2012 18:44
Link to Post #2
Re: Stuck Energy
No apologies, your feelings are justified. I have been there, working a mundane job, understimulated, underappreciated, underpaid, and over worked etc etc. It does get old. But, believe it or not, maybe those people who ou are nice and loving to, really need it, and that is your purpose. for now. But giving it, is unconditional, because needing it to be reciprocated devalues the meaning. You can only replenish your own energy stores. It comes from you, not others. Keep doing what you are doing, because, what goes around does come around, eventually. Until then, try to create a way to maybe meet other like minded ppl, like yoga , or something you enjoy doing. Since you are on Avalon, you are obviously in some state of wakefulness that differs from the general population, and it is a lonely place. Also, its been not only a full moon, but a super moon, so they say, so emotions are extra heightened anyway. Hang in there.
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7th May 2012 18:56
Link to Post #3
Re: Stuck Energy
Thank you. Sincerely.
Do you have any ideas on how to restore my energy? I'm having a really hard time today, being cranky with patients. The way people are responding to me feels like, "...you aren't you today," and I've gotten a LOT of weird looks.
I'm having these waves of fighting off crying, which I might be able to do at home, but it really shouldn't happen when I'm trying to make someone an appointment, lol.
Thank you again to whoever reads this. I just needed something out there and to hear some words of wisdom.
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7th May 2012 19:12
Link to Post #4
Re: Stuck Energy
Well, for one thing, there was a huge CME from the sun on the third, incidentally the soho cameras have been **** down ever since. I have to say, I was an absolute basketcase yesterday, mainly because I gave up smoking,but I was ragging like I get during a solar event. I just had to ride it out, caz nothing I did helped. But if you are overly tired, maybe coffee, or a sweet treat. Chocolate is suppose to be good for the mood. There is a lot going on right now, planetary and with the sun, and I have a hunch that our geo-magnetic rythms are getting messed up. Its not you, its everything. Do you have access to a cat??? LOL They ALWAYS make me feel better.
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7th May 2012 19:16
Link to Post #5
Re: Stuck Energy
Do you love yourself, unconditionally, too?
I find this most important.
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7th May 2012 19:19
Link to Post #6