"I know, I know."

[pie'n'eal]

Gradually our understanding changes, and our 'knowing' becomes clearer, until it is lucid.

Noting our 'set point'.

I'm using this strange term to describe a moveable point of our reaction/intelligence/tolerance.
As our understanding develops, so this set point changes. For some, this point never changes.

Sometimes, we can be amazed at the change. Looking back over the past year, for example, we may note that a change has taken place. An emotional reaction is still present, but not so rampant. This set-point seems to be a level that one never falls below.

Instead of controlling the mind, the emotions seem to brighten up the mind. It's not something one can actually talk about, but it proves to us that we are moveable in our responses and intelligence.

To put it another way, things aren't a big deal any more!

It's something one can't falsify, but one can giggle at it. And most importantly, it's such a relief! Here comes the tough news...you may have changed, but the view others hold of you may not!
And so, we are sentenced (in their eyes) for life.

This is something we just have to live with. More importantly, it may teach us not to sentence others in the same way, and that is very difficult. Remember: when we react to others, we are reacting to their mind - or rather, the ideas they hold. We are not reacting to the 'being' because that, in essence, is as wonderful as you.

'Being' up-set is all about a 'being' believing ideas.
Ideas have no reality and are therefore not a big deal. But in the relative world we have to respect them, and so we inter-act, but try not to re-act.

One of the sad things about life is that, as our set-point changes, so can the set-point of others. This means that if we hold on to an idea about another person and they do the same about us, we have sentenced one another – whereas, in fact, we have actually moved on. If we are in a transitional period of change, we are vulnerable and can be destabilised, if we allow ourselves to be dragged into conflict and thus back to a previous set-point.

This will continue until we finally just give up and let go!
Quite often, we just need a break from a situation. We need time to digest or assimilate.

Like tennis, life is a matter of love and set-point...until the game is over!

Of course, this won't happen to people who live in a habitual pattern – a mind-set – and unfortunately, when they see your face (or read your name), they immediately label you as the same person you were before...when in fact you have changed!

My family still see me as a stuttering, mumbling, thick, awkward never-satisfied, over creative, headless chicken...and I can't convince them otherwise (though there could be some truth there!), and there's no point anyway: I just have to accept it. Their set-point is their story.

Tony

[the_vast_mystery]

Posted by eileenrose (here)
yes, there are many reasons not to follow the heart Vase..

Fear being a good one that I can attest to as well (and of course income requirements). But the heart song remains, even if the mentality (mental activity) gets in the way.

I find that I am offered decisions and if I consciously decide not to take them (like stay in a messy job situation), then I start looking for assistance (...from whatever level I am at.).

If I need a job more appropriate to my energy (matrices, feelings), then I look for help in all those regular (school, friends, etc.) areas.

When that finally failed me (as I choose work over play for many years), I finally let go (of work).

this was a dark period...for a few days/weeks. Quitting a job that was the worse one ever (in fact, it was such an overwelming negative experience, that completely destroyed/totaled my work resume...so getting another job was going to be near impossible (and other employer reasons involved as well), I never wanted to even think about working for anyone again) with zero income.

...sorry if this doesn't make sense...having trouble writing right now (thinking about something else entirely).

So, the issue was, major trust issues with employers, and to make a long story shorter, I never got over that. But that issue turned my life into the life I needed to have. Not the one society wanted me to have.

Make sense?

Actually yes, surprisingly because the major issue I've been debating with myself on is whether or not I should stay in my job or quit. I feel like I've lost all passion for my work and just want to get away from everything. The real issue is that after evaluating my motivations to drop the job I also know that I'm not going to be able to find another one that pays nearly as well without making the same compromises I did at this one, working for an industry that I now know exists primarily to fleece people. So I'm facing very high chance of destroying my standard of living, which isn't going to do well for my car payment or the apartment lease I have. I had to sign up for those things to even get this job and now it's just sort of locked me in place. I have someone close I'm living with and she's really got no place else to go either. She helps out when/where she can but I also support her by having the car and apartment and paying for anything she needs that she might not immediately have the money for (freelance artist, makes commission so work isn't a steady thing.) I don't want to inconvenience her either.

But it's become painfully obvious that if I'm going to make any sort of change I have to literally cut myself lose from every former tie that binds me. I can't just run off to the mountains from bill collectors, they'd find me eventually, LOL. Plus it would be kind of hard to get her diabetic supplies if we we lived off the grid just to escape bill collectors. So that leaves me with the choice of either staying at my present job, and getting paid nicely to do work that ultimately demoralizes me (I write apps for an AD Agency that specializes in Pharma. We make entire marketing campaigns with websites, TV, print, and mobile apps to promote various companies and their drugs.) or quit and risk never being this comfortable again and worse yet becoming too poor to help someone who wouldn't get their help anywhere else.

I really do want to quit, but I can't bring myself to do it short of finding that next job first; and finding a job with salary/benefits like I get now isn't easy to come by...I need to feel near guaranteed to succeed before I take that kind of risk. I don't like to gamble with people's welfare. So that's why I tend to be more skeptical towards a lot of this "follow your heart" stuff. Since right now that's been the single biggest thing it's been trying to get me to do and I'm not about to engage in what appears to be insanity after my past experiences felt like negative encounters I "survived" rather than lessons lovingly learned. It may in fact be that my own bias is already preventing me from perceiving these things correctly, but for right now this is the way things seem.

If anything I wonder some days if I write all these posts hoping that if I'm loud enough that eventually some day some UFO or fairy, or angel, or whatever will finally just come down and show themselves to me to if nothing else shut me up, haha. I just can't bring myself to do anything big on faith, faith hasn't really been a good thing in my life. If anything it'll probably be just like what you said, I'll wait until I finally can't stand it to quit, might even take years. But at least when it gets to that point I'll have said I tried to stay and work things out as best I could if I fail at finding another job after that.

[eileenrose]

Hi, I am trying not to get personal here and just to offer a tad of assistance (because, you know, everyone gets stuck at some juncture in their career/work, here in the US anyway....ie. we must have the worse employers or something. I rarely hear of job satisfaction, any longer).

re:

"I really do want to quit, but I can't bring myself to do it short of finding that next job first; and finding a job with salary/benefits like I get now isn't easy to come by...I need to feel near guaranteed to succeed before I take that kind of risk. "

I realize reading this Vast that you are too close to the issue. You've got investments, in staying and few in leaving. Even if your heart sings out, your mind holds back (make sense?).
So don't do this alone. Find support. Start moving. Baby steps. Do a new resume, do job figuring out classes/books. Just see you are skeptical (and now have an excuse, the economy tanking) and say, "ok, so twice as hard as last year" (my phrase, choose what works).

When I had too many barrier I ask for help. In your case, there are probably job hunters who can help as well. Just saying...you might be more valuable that you suppose.

good opportunties (to you)

[eileenrose]

And regarding insurance, the new Obamacare plan required California to provide it to everyone, even with previous conditions (like diabetes). It just cost a lot (ranges from 600 to 1000, I assume per month....but I really don't know....I didn't ask the person who mentioned this too me last week). So find out how to get them insurance. Because if you decide to switch occupations, you might have to do two part time jobs with zero benefits (just saying....moving positions.....you do what you have to do).

And if you hate doing advertising for them, find some organic company and do it for them (even for free....yes, I realize free or volunteer don't come with pay....but they do come with connections that you might be able to leverage, in the future, to move to that company you want to exist.....you just have to start focusing in the right direction....is what I am saying.....re-program your brain).

helpful?

Update:
Here is that link (please note that this program ends 12/2013 to be replace with the fed program)
http://www.pcip.ca.gov/Home/default.aspx