What is Happiness and Love?

[Tony]

What is Happiness and Love?

Well, we all know the answer to this...or do we?

You may see this or describe this differently: let's see how we go.
What we think of - or feel about - happiness and love may not be accurate, and may in fact be a bit of a fantasy, which takes a lot of painful maintenance. We may even think that we do not know what happiness and love is - but that may be to do with propaganda!

Someone asked about love, and as usual, I hadn't a clue! So a method is useful in these situations:
to look at a question that arises, I generally use lateral thinking (I ask myself what the basics of the question are, and work from zero). The method is mindfulness, which activates awareness: this awareness is the resting experience of Emptiness. Then Empty Essence is allowed to just be...and wait.

This is the simplest thing ever, and is sometimes immediate and spontaneous...once one has let all concepts go!

The question is then asked, what is Love, and is it connected to Happiness?
This process is pure logic.
Consciousness scans the mind for information, gained from study and experience.
Our Empty Essence and Cognisant Nature then join up the dots, in total silence...which allows inspired insight to arise.

So what is Happiness?
On observation, true Happiness is an inner state that no outside force can upset.
One observes, “Well, I'm not unhappy, and I'm not indifferent, and I'm not asleep...so I must be happy!”

Is that all? How is this Happiness? Happiness is an inner uncontaminated Space. It is Pure space. Being Pure Space, it is Empty but Knowing. Whatever happens within Space...Space is untouched!
This Space Knows itself. It is Empty of any fabrications. Knowing Space just is.

This Emptiness could be a great disappointment, because of the grand talk of fabulous experiences, propagated by miracle enthusiasts. For some of us, it is just a relief to be free of these grand expectations!

So we are this Open Spacious Knowing (you may call it anything you wish).
Knowing this Spaciousness brings a sense of relief has a sense of contentment about it.
This contentment is inner Joy.
This inner Joy is Love.
You do not have to hold onto anything: in fact just let go of everything! Isn't that so simple?
That's Happiness for you…You! This is where we can make a grand mistake.

So how does 'your' happiness relate to others?
Simple, inner Space expands to incorporate every thing, which includes every one!
Space inside the vase dissolves the vase, and mingles with outer Space.

You do nothing, but allow whatever appears in that space to be...as well.
Therefore the 'other' has nothing to fight against.
Love is simply an expansion of Essence...it is Essence Love!
(maybe to the right person at the right time, words may clarify a little more).

Essence Love is where things 'happen'.
Nothing 'happens' in Empty Essence.
My guess is that every individual will manifest Essence Love differently: some with a great colourful displays, and others with an ordinary logic.

The 'love and happiness' we are 'told about' is very costly, and has to be sought after, bought, maintained...but it is never actually found...because it does not exist! So that keeps us yearning!

The Desire for love and happiness is a created activity, but it is never satisfied and never 'complete', and so it is Frustrating. We get Addicted to looking for Love and Happiness, when....we are it all the time!
In Open Knowing Space, it is said that, in knowing this one thing, everything is known.

So what is the problem?
This does take some getting used to, as we are not familiar with seeing this way. This 'seeing' is sometimes called 'the view'. And this is where the 'path' comes in!

Our obstacles to unconditional Love and Happiness are Desire and Frustration (Frustration leads to Aversion/Hatred), because we Ignore our true nature.
So these three poisons - Desire, Aversion and Ignorance - distract us from Knowing our true nature. (another description of these poisons would be Hope, Fear and Indifference).

Please remember: words can be used in different ways, and in different contexts.

This may sound really complicated I know, but it is in essence totally simple!
You are Lucid Clarity.
You do not 'have' lucid clarity - you are it....Pure Knowing.
This is non duality.

When we say, “ I know,” this is a subtle duality, and that is where the problem started...ego.
If we could just relax our clinging to our ideas, we would experience just experiencing.
The idea that we need ego to function is still more propaganda.
Ego is just consciousness clinging to fixed ideas, and is very limited. Empty Essence is limitless!

There is another aspect to Happiness and Love.
Happiness is resting in Pure Essence and Cognisant Nature.
This is one side of the path to enlightenment.

Compassion is Knowing Essence!
The other side of the path is Love.
This is to do with exhausting Karma, when relating to everyday situations.
Here, we have to come back to the earlier description of Happiness as inner space expanding to mingle with outer space. One might want to call this Oneness, but that is not totally accurate. However, if you see it like that, that's fine. But in thinking we are all one, we might expect others to think and feel the same as us: this will not happen, and we can easily fall out of this kind of oneness!!

This spaciousness allows everything to arise within it, thus not accepting or rejecting...and therefore not re-acting!
Any reaction only serves to fill Space with concepts, and this reacts more Karma.

Whatever arises in our Space is a product from our past.
If we can allow it to come and pass in open Space, no Karma is produced!

So Happiness and Love is beyond a feeling: feelings can be manipulated from outside. Feelings can allow emotions to fill Empty Space...and cloud the issue! (but the Emotions can work to enliven Space, but that is for another time).

Although this process is described in logical terms, it is not mechanical: it is spontaneous, but there are mechanics involved.

Love and Happiness,
Tony

[mahalall]

Smiling with empty moments helps

[Tony]

Spiritual progress.

Our spiritual progress (or even starting the journey) depends on us recognising suffering - not being satisfied, not being totally happy. We have to acknowledge that our understanding is limited at this moment. If we don't, we will not want to change.

When thinking about ourselves, we have to considering our own actual capacity (or lack of it) at this moment. Not all our brain is totally joined up - I know mine isn't! We have good intentions but we may not be clear about the way forward.

(Here it's important to mention karma - good karma! We obviously recognise bad karma, but good karma is a strange beast. Because of our previous good actions and practices, we may find that we have some special 'power'. In sanskrit it is called Shakti. These powers have their own problems, as they may be used for the benefit of others or used for self aggrandisement, which will produce bad karma. So we have to be very careful. We might be able to do or understand something very easily where others cannot, and so there is a danger of lording it over others!)

To be a spiritual practitioner we have to be spiritual warriors, tough and courageous!

This is definitely something you may not want to hear, so this is not for you.
In some spiritual texts, it talks about different capacities: inferior, middling and superior practitioners. I was totally put off when I first read this, but on investigation, 'inferior' meant that one had at least tamed the mind. So inferior is better than street level! Hooray!

We like to think we are all the same; “I'm as good as everyone else!” That's just ego talking.
If we think we know everything, and do not want to change, then yes, we are as good as it gets!

Spiritual text talks to different people in different ways. We all have the same potential, so yes, we are all the same...but not at the same time! We really have to accept this, otherwise we will be trying to run before we can walk. In fact, it will slow down our progress, as the emotions will rise up easily. Too many people read words and think they know them: as you know, words are not the experience. Words have the power of 'your' understanding.

The difference between inferior, middling and superior is both huge and very small. This difference depends on our attitude. Our understanding of Compassion or Essence varies, and depends on our relationship to our own emotions, and self identity.

If we run away with the idea that I'm as good as someone who actually practises to the minutest degree, then we are being foolish! Recognising this, we can definitely progress and even speed up.
It's funny, but the emotion 'envy' can in fact be All-Accomplishing wisdom. In the karmic sense, your recognition of the good qualities of others means that your appreciation is the same as their intention: you generate the same good karma! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hooray!

When I was at the Academy of Art, I pinned one of my drawings on the wall. The director came round to give his usual 'crit' (being a student, one has to take a lot of constructive criticism...).
He looked at my drawings, turned to me and said,“You probably think that is good. Wait till next year.” I knew that he understood more than I did, and as a student I was willing to learn: it was so true! There is no way in this life-time that I would match his skills, but I did admire his work.

We can all progress in our own way, and if we let ourselves, we can be inspired by others.
If we can lose our pride...
This brings us to the need in spiritual for humility and renunciation.



Tony

[Karunai]

Thank you for sharing this.

[Tony]

Humility.

There are many ways to understand this word, humility (incidentally, the word “understand” is also interesting...to stand under). Quite often, people will use the Buddha's quote, “Place no one above your own head.” This does not mean, “Therefore place your head above others”, or “We are all the same, now”.
Rather, it means, “As above, so below”...we all have the same potential!

Humility is the opposite of the 'modern day' idea of pumping oneself up: perhaps certain modern cultures are brought up differently! This is not solely a modern phenomenon, as the Bible mentions being a tinkling bell!

Understanding this is so important, and its benefit can be missed. We have two selfs: a fluffed up mental image of a self and a pure essence. You have to decide for yourself which one is the fluffed-up puffed-up tinkling bell...

As we are humans, and usually in a state of 'not knowing' our true nature, recognising our teacher (knowing) is not easy - the teacher is all around and within. Of course, a teacher mainly comes in the form of a person who explains how to see the inner and outer teacher, in very subtle ways. This spiritual friend may use “crazy wisdom” on us, which can arouse blind fury: that catalyst can help us to realise something, if it is done precisely, to the right person at the right moment (I have personal experience of this many times...).
We have to know how to ask a question. It is not a battle. It is a meeting of minds.
Pride is just the fixed ideas that we superimpose on a situation.

In order to communicate, we need both ends of the line open. Humility is for one's own benefit: when our mind and heart are open, it allows blessings to take place. It is not weakness: it has much power to it. One can only have humility when one is confident – then you can afford to be mild and generous. Of course, if you are the sort of person who thinks this will allow control of your mind, then you are still caught up in the fear of the material world and should continue on your own way, and deal with things as you see fit.

We get information from all over the place, and can easily mix it all up...with confusion and anger. What is written on forums such as this, on spiritual matters, can only be a taster. We are not “all one”: there are many 'paths' to suit the individual. The Buddha and Christ each still have their individual approaches and identities. There are theistic and non-theistic approaches, and even those two categories are broken up into many other methods.

However, if one thinks one can take a bit of this and a bit of that, and maintain that “I'm doing it my way,” one's understanding will never be complete. That is precisely what we have been doing for a very long time...and this is exactly what IS dividing us...internally.

I was once speaking with a lama in Nepal, who said he was tired of listening to the bullsh*t from modern westerners. I was truly shocked! But on reflection, we are arrogant: we think we can just shout and expect a reply...instead of asking and listening, we tell everyone how it is.

A teacher values the teachings, and will not devalue them for our entertainment.

Humility and devotion go hand in hand, and this is not easy for a westerners. Even in reading this, you are acknowledging some sort of commitment to find your true nature, which has tremendous consequences. In wanting to find out, you are surrendering yourself to yourself. This is where devotion goes hand in hand with discipline, to cut precisely through the bullsh*t of ego's games.
I had a problem with this, but it changed my life once I looked more closely and understood when I saw it in action.

We all have questions. However, the answers may differ, to address that particular mind. This may not be easy to understand, but when I go to my teacher for an interview, and ask questions, the given answer is not so important as his reaction or non reaction – and my reaction. In that, there is real teaching, real Dharma. If I am talking, let's be honest, it's often a bit of a puffed-up question, but how he deals with that - non verbally - speaks volumes...total compassion and humility!

Wishing you all the best on your quest.
Your time is precious,

Tony

[Chuck]

Fwiw,

Imo, happiness is having a sense of control in one’s life. Furthermore, that which we have utmost control over, is giving to others. If God is a giver… then we also participate in joy/happiness even more when we give. To love is to give. Up to you how you wish to give.

Thank you Tony for giving of your thoughts.

[pyrangello]

Nice expressions !

[Mulder]

To me, happiness and love don't consist of great feelings or great emotions. They both are simply "decisions" and the decision to love or not to love can be changed at any time. Happiness is also a decision, but it is also based on external stimuli or situations e.g. if you win lotto, you'd be happy.

[ViralSpiral]

Money and real estate occupy the body,
but all the heart wants is expanding friendship.

A rose garden without a friend is indeed a prison;
a prison with a friend becomes a rose garden.

If the pleasure of friendship did not exist,
neither men nor women would be here.

A thorn from a friends’s garden is worth more
than a thousand cypresses and lilies.

Love sewed us securely together.
We owe nothing to the needle and thread.

If the house of the world is dark,
Love will find a way to create windows.

If the world is full of arrows and swords,
the Armorer of Love has made us coats of mail.

Love itself describes it’s own perfection.
Be speechless and listen.

~ Rumi

[Tony]

Nowhere to hide.

Wherever we go, our paranoia will follow. There is nowhere to hide.

Our paranoia is a belief in a persecuted self: this is the dictionary definition:
paranoia
noun
a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality.
• suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification.

If we are speaking spiritually, we have to go beyond normal dictionary definitions, but exaggerated self-importance comes pretty close -plus a little bit of...suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification. And... “losing touch with reality” seems to hit the spot!

We are Pure Beings (this is reality) who have created a self image (which is mistaken reality). Some texts talk about Pure Being getting excited about being, and in that moment, creating a duality.
I AM.
In the Bible, it warns against worshipping any graven image...interesting!

The result of our self-made image is the emotions. As long as we hold onto our paranoia, we will be emotional, defensive, aggressive, mistrusting and ill at ease. The word Bonkers comes to mind!

So what are we going to do about this?

We cannot run away from it, as we will not let go. And that is precisely the problem: we wilfully will not let go! The first step is to recognise what 'we' are doing and the effects our actions have. We are creating our own suffering! So we have to slow down to see what is going on - we have to disengage the engine.

It is very difficult to do this in a world where we are accustomed to jumping this way or that way at a drop of a hat. We keep on filling our Pure Being with...junk! It is bonkers, isn't it?

One day, we will realise what we are doing and think, “Hey! I don't have to keep doing this. It hurts!”
Then we will look for a method through which we can work with our paranoia, and realise that we have been Strangers in Paradise, Living the Dream as Intellectual Idiots. Then we can recognise that we are fools for trying to hide our true nature - which has been smiling all the time at our antics. We are fools for even trying to find ourselves, when we have been here all the time! We instinctively know what is going on, but we choose to ignore it in favour of something else more interesting.

Even though we are paranoid fools, having started, we might as well continue undressing, as there is definitely nowhere to hide now!

One day we may realise that the reality of Everything is Sod-All, and within us there is Sod-All!

Are you smiling yet?

Tony




NB. Paranoia: ORIGIN early 19th cent.: modern Latin, from Greek, from paranoos - ‘distracted,’ from para ‘irregular’ + noos ‘mind.’

[Marsila]

Posted by pie'n'eal (here)
Nowhere to hide.


Even though we are paranoid fools, having started, we might as well continue undressing, as there is definitely nowhere to hide now!


Tony




NB. Paranoia: ORIGIN early 19th cent.: modern Latin, from Greek, from paranoos - ‘distracted,’ from para ‘irregular’ + noos ‘mind.’

Very nice thread Pie'n'eal, thank you for it. To me love and happiness are two places within us, if we ever learn to find them and expand them, despite the challenges.

I feel the reason there is no where to run or hide, is people keep looking outside to other places to hide, never realizing they are running from their own selves, which is hard to do, and all they have to do for peace and security is to tap within themselves...or something like that.

once again, thanks for this thread.

[ivaray]

I do not think love chases happiness or happiness chases love. It is not about Chasing the Pavements. One is caught in love, and happiness washes away always on the other side of the shore.... For true love is always the farthest lighthouse. (Hmm… Do not take this seriously, it is just play on concepts and words). It might be that there is no true love, and happiness resides only in New York, in the state of (y...) mind…

Thanks for sharing your great ideas, it made me make this foolish contribution to the post.

[Karunai]

(Now I 'came up' with something. These are usually difficult to translate into words... for me. I hope the rambling makes some sense though lol) : D

Happiness and Love. Both come from the same calming source. "Calm" to use a word, "warm" it's another feeling that they give me, "acceptance" is another word that comes, "inner equilibrium" could be another way of perceiving them also. Sometimes could be that strong feeling of "gratefulness" towards someone. 'Happiness' expresses itself in infinite 'ways'. Love as well. It's difficult -for me- to separate both of them and create concepts for each one, that way it would be 'incomplete'. There're both needed... somehow.

But I know when I'm not happy. When I get carried away -to much- by my mind, and it starts to fragment itself by itself, and a part of me -heart- desesperately wants to pull the fragments together or better... erase all that. That disrupts my inner enviroment, like many frequencies (noises) trying to get my attention. I'm not happy when I let that occur, 'cause the work of cleaning all that later is usually painful. So... a "no-fragmented" inner me, could be another way of perceiving happiness-love.

In conclusion, re-reading again all that, I guess that hapinnes-love for me is directly proportional/related to my inner environment.

[Tony]

Posted by ivaray (here)
I do not think love chases happiness or happiness chases love. It is not about Chasing the Pavements. One is caught in love, and happiness washes away always on the other side of the shore.... For true love is always the farthest lighthouse. (Hmm… Do not take this seriously, it is just play on concepts and words). It might be that there is no true love, and happiness resides only in New York, in the state of (y...) mind…

Thanks for sharing your great ideas, it made me make this foolish contribution to the post.

Not foolish at all you crazy person!

The spread of happiness is love, love is the expression of happiness...inside or on the pavement!
Even when we feel unhappy, happiness is just there waiting.
When we experience unhappiness, it is happiness that is experiencing it....it's just there!

Somedays are heavy, somedays are lighter love is still there....there no getting away from it!


Tony

[Bing Lalo]

Hi, when you love something you are happy, when you don´t love you are not happy. In my opinion this is the relation between Love and Happiness. When you have the capacity to Love All, you will be happy allways. The Love is the capacity of create, the Creation is the Love of God or Tao. The light bring the knowledge, the information. The Love give us the posibility to create. Is importan to understand the diference in between Love and Desire/Wish, when we desire some one or some thing, that dosen´t mean we love it, we just desire. Love is the bigest power, because can create. Others power can manipulate, but not create. You need Love to be able to create. So be in love with you and you will be able to create yourself. You can be manipulate by others when you do not love your inside or God, Tao,... Our ignorance make us vulnerable to the feelings, because we allways look outside of us. This is the way the darkness can manipulate us. When you create your own feelings no matter what the outside does, you are in love with you or with God, and you are able to be free to create the feelings that you want, not what others want, or the destiny wants. Love is an art, and like other arts, you need to practice. The day that you practice this every single second, you get free and you become to be ONE again. Is the way we come back to home or to the Tao.

Best regards

[21CC]

. Thanks for the timely thread. I'm feeling what would be the nonverbal response to the question in the title!

[eileenrose]

re:

"So what is Happiness?
On observation, true Happiness is an inner state that no outside force can upset.
One observes, “Well, I'm not unhappy, and I'm not indifferent, and I'm not asleep...so I must be happy!”

Is that all? How is this Happiness? Happiness is an inner uncontaminated Space. It is Pure space. Being Pure Space, it is Empty but Knowing. Whatever happens within Space...Space is untouched!
This Space Knows itself. It is Empty of any fabrications. Knowing Space just is.

This Emptiness could be a great disappointment, because of the grand talk of fabulous experiences, propagated by miracle enthusiasts. For some of us, it is just a relief to be free of these grand expectations!"

from Pie

It is a miracle every time I reach complete emptiness-which is far from empty, just no thoughts exist in pure awareness of what is. And thoughts have density. They are thick and being without that extra hold on your awareness, means you are free, through and through.

So free, that you expand instantly into whatever direction you feel the need to move. So if it is remote viewing you feel to move into, you do. Or healing, or telepathy or whatever suits you....medium work even.

You just keep expanding into the awareness of what is (what is...ie. what is up for review/to be seen now).

In which case, you might be pleased to know that in that state there is desire to become more the state and not less. Which means letting go of what you hold onto....ideas, thoughts, projections.

I don't know how happiness could be confused with such a state. I don't see it as relevant. Only perhaps to a mind that is trying to have more ideas not less.

Here is what Jan Frazier (author of "when fear falls away") says on a similar topic:

This is what I know about the general situation of a human life:
- There is a place in every person that is not subject to harm of any sort. It is not subject to change or to death. It is actual.
- It is possible to become aware of this place- fleetingly, and even continuously.
- In the state of that awareness, all suffering ceases.
- There is nothing inconsistent about that state and what we think of as regular life.

From When Fear Falls Away, from part of 'introduction'

[Tony]

In Empty Essence, is no 'me' being aware, there is merely Pure Awareness.
if there is 'me' being aware, this is still conventional awareness.
Consciousness can have clarity, but this is still relative truth.
When consciousness is aware of consciousness,
there is no thing there, but Knowing, Pure Knowing.
This is an upgrade from conscious knowing.
This is absolute reality.

One can then re-enter conscious clarity and express, Pure Knowing,
this is Love and Compassion.
Which manifests as generosity, patience, discipline, concentration and transcendent knowledge.

[Karunai]

[Tony]

Posted by Karunai (here)

Keep on Subtracting till only happiness is left!