Reconnecting with alienated family members

[eileenrose]

And healing is just one avenue that can be pursued with family members. Another more extreme path is waking up and living with them again. This has cleared up many 'pasts' for me. Having been a member of the 'woman' race, it has been far more rewarding living with previously estranged (or distant) re-la-tives than apart. As for some reason they trigger past memories to resurface, allowing me the final chance to let go of old ideas that have hindered my progress (and original form).

[Snookie]

Sometimes reconnecting is not a a good idea.

Last year my ex-husband contacted my sister with the excuse he wanted to see her kids and reconnect with them. I left him back in '97 because he loved gambling far more than he did me. He was also very controlling and insecure. He loved to play mind games as well. She agreeed to see him, so he came over a few days later. She said it was a strange visit as he seemed to have a hidden agenda. He asked about me and if I was still living at the same place. She said yes. Thankfully she didn't mention that I was planning on putting my place up for sale soon as I was going to move to a different town to live with my sweetheart. She just said that I was still seeing him.

My sister & I both agreed he must still be gambling as he was renting a basement bedroom in a house on an acreage even though he had been working at the same place for several years. Why live in those conditions if you can afford more? She didn't see what he was driving, but noticed there was a big oil spot that wasn't there before after he left.

We're also pretty sure that if he knew I was selling my place or that I was not in a relationship he would have tried to get in touch with me. Probably to give me a sob story and try to get back together and if I wasn't interested, at least to get some money. I can't help feeling I dodged a bullet!

Interesting that she never heard from him again

[Snookie]

How about reconnecting with old friends?

My sweetie and I had just returned home from a trip about a month ago and there was a message on our voice mail from a girl I hung out with in high school. We had not seen each other for about 30 yrs! I called her back and she said she'd like to come for a visit. She lives 4 hrs away. We decided the next weekend would work for both of us.

I was a bit nervous ... What do you say to someone you haven't talked to for that long - and for a whole weekend? Well she came and we rememised and BS'd about everyone & everything we could think of. I showed her pictures of my beautiful daughter who passed away at 10 weeks from a congenital heart defect and we had a good cry. She showed me pictures of her 2 grown kids and her husband. My friend and neighbor came over to meet her. She said later we looked very comfortable with each other.

During the weekend we decided we should try looking up other friends we both had back then. We left a message with one person we both hung out with. When she left we agreed to meet at a central location with her cousin (who I was also friends with). After she got home she emailed me to say she got ahold of another mutual friend who wants to join us. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again!

[Simon]

What a wonderful thing.

[Dancerrose]

I’m the oldest of five, we all have children and our children have children. The chances of disagreement are guaranteed. My own personal philosophy is that you’ll always get a cup of tea at my door.

[Knowrainknowrainbows!]

Posted by Dancerrose (here)
I’m the oldest of five, we all have children and our children have children. The chances of disagreement are guaranteed. My own personal philosophy is that you’ll always get a cup of tea at my door.

This is a GREAT idea! I am the youngest of six. Parents passed early in life, siblings spread out and 2 died within 13 months of each other....
Life is, among other things, bitter sweet. But, Dancerose, I really appreciated this concept. thanks for sharing!!!
KRKR

[MargueriteBee]

After reading the first page of this thread I went outside and, eventho she is miles and miles away, told my sister that I forgive her. I will never see her again because she is a complete drunk and very toxic. I do have to protect myself.

[sineck]

there is not one day that i do not long the love of my family, hope has become a fragrance, a special image within my soul, i imagine a caress, the hand of my mother, then i remember her letting go, there are so many things that we need in life, the thing is that those of us that do not understand the need of those that need it the most