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Thread: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

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    Sweden Avalon Member Newlyn's Avatar
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    Default Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hi Avalon.

    I am happy typing my first words on this beautiful forum for long time. I have gone through a half year that I can say without a doupt has been the toughest in my life.

    I have been afraid, so afraid. I don't even really know why. I have been travelling for 2 years, but am right now in Ljubljana, Slovenia, and experiennce a situation, in the end a relationship situation, I have etremely difficult staying centered in.

    Thank you for listensing.

    I have felt extremely lost. I had to face my strongest fears. I have felt completely isolated from family, friends, and any connection or other perspective. Its been a time of feeling conditioned into being or doing things that dont feel right, being confused in what is my will, and what is just false beliefe systems. Its been a time of questioning my own motives and my love, and my truth.

    I am blaming myself so much for so many things, so I feel hopeless, off my path, abandoned and like someone who "failed". I am fighting with my deep anxiety allmost every day. One part of me wnt to run away, but I am afraid of by doin so will cause more harm. Another want to stay, but then I am afraid of losing myself.

    I just really need to connect again. With who I am. Whith others. I am feeling very lonely. At the same time the 2012 times are coming, and I feel a bit dropped in the big waters. Like if I don't have the right energies now to "make it", or something.

    I am sorry if it sunds confused, but right now I have to admit, that is me, and I am not strong right now. Any prayer or support or advice would be apreciated, and what I feel i need is to see and feel that there are other humans around me, out there. And that we can connect in what it means to be alive on this hurted planet.

    Thank you for listening, I am in pain.

    Anyone else gone through similar things the last times, and why? I have lately conected with many who had a very hard summer/ fall, and it seems like maybe it is time to face our worst personal nightmares.

    I just don't feel "dressed up" to meet the new times. I feel like a lost little boy crying out for mother.


    Thank you.
    Last edited by Newlyn; 18th December 2012 at 23:17.
    The more I learn .. The less I know

    Live without pretending
    Love without depending
    Listen without defending
    Speak without offending


    Love /Newlyn, no-one

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    UK Avalon Member Dorjezigzag's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Just remember its always darkest before the dawn




    Regrets collect like old friends
    Here to relive your darkest moments
    I can see no way, I can see no way
    And all of the ghouls come out to play
    And every demon wants his pound of flesh
    But I like to keep some things to myself
    I like to keep my issues drawn
    It's always darkest before the dawn

    And I've been a fool and I've been blind
    I can never leave the past behind
    I can see no way, I can see no way
    I'm always dragging that horse around
    And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
    Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
    So I like to keep my issues drawn
    But it's always darkest before the dawn

    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
    So shake him off, oh woah

    I am done with my graceless heart
    So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
    Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
    It's always darkest before the dawn

    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
    So shake him off, oh woah
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off

    And given half the chance would I take any of it back
    It's a fine romance but its left me so undone
    It's always darkest before the dawn

    Oh woah, oh woah...

    And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
    So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
    And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
    It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
    Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
    Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
    Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
    So shake him off, oh woah

    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
    So shake him off, oh woah
    “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” (Carl Jung)

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    Costa Rica Avalon Member ulli's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Quote Posted by Newlyn (here)
    Hi Avalon.

    I am happy typing my first words on this beautiful forum for long time. I have gone through a half year that I can say without a doupt has been the toughest in my life.

    I have been afraid, so afraid. I don't even really know why. I have been travelling for 2 years, but am right now in Ljubljana, Slovenia, and experiennce a situation, in the end a relationship situation, I have etremely difficult staying centered in.

    Thank you for listensing.

    I have felt extremely lost. I had to face my strongest fears. I have felt completely isolated from family, friends, and any connection or other perspective. Its been a time of feeling conditioned into being or doing things that dont feel right, being confused in what is my will, and what is just false beliefe systems. Its been a time of questioning my own motives and my love, and my truth.

    It's been in connection with a woman, that I love and admire dearly, but who I been projecting and reflecting fears and madness with now for to lon, and I am blaming myself so much for so many things, so I feel hopeless, off my path, abandoned and like someone who "failed". I am fighting with my deep anxiety allmost every day. One part of me wnt to run away, but I am afraid of by doin so will cause more harm. Another want to stay, but then I am afraid of losing myself.

    I just really need to connect again. With who I am. Whith others. I am feeling very lonely. At the same time the 2012 times are coming, and I feel a bit dropped in the big waters. Like if I don't have the right energies now to "make it", or something.

    I am sorry if it sunds confused, but right now I have to admit, that is me, and I am not strong right now. Any prayer or support or advice would be apreciated, and what I feel i need is to see and feel that there are other humans around me, out there. And that we can connect in what it means to be alive on this hurted planet.

    Thank you for listening, I am in pain.

    Anyone else gone through similar things the last times, and why? I have lately conected with many who had a very hard summer/ fall, and it seems like maybe it is time to face our worst personal nightmares.

    I just don't feel "dressed up" to meet the new times. I feel like a lost little boy crying out for mother.


    Thank you.
    Hi Newlyn and welcome back to Avalon.
    This forum has changed a lot since you were here last, and in my opinion for the better.
    So you have come to the right place.
    I feel so sorry that you are having a hard time. You are not the only one, that's for sure. But getting connected again will help you, and sharing your story with others who can send you their good wishes will quickly lift you out of your confusion.
    Maybe to return home to your parents can also be of help at this time. Connect with your roots. Once you do that new clarity about what you want to do with your life will come, and you can attract the right partner, one with whom you can have a healthy relationship. Create a life together, with both of you sharing equally and creating a future together.
    Anyhow, these are difficult times but they will bring us all to a better world, once the cleansing is over.

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    Canada On Sabbatical Deega's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Thanks Newlyn, in sharing your strong and difficult story, you are partway getting rid of this fear!

    You are love, don’t ever forget that, you are a divine soul, nobody can change that. Reach love!

    You’ve said that you’ve been through the toughest half year, then, you’re getting on a renew path, it’s not always easy but strive!, you will get what you need.

    My wishes for you is to find love, the spark of life.

    All the best to you.

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hi Newlyn

    You don't sound too 'lost' to me. Many people would spend a lifetime evolving their consciousness to arrive at such a well articulated account of their condition.

    Put it this way - if you can admit you're lost, then you're not lost.

    Just by making that post you've probably dug yourself halfway out of a hole already.

    I know it sounds a bit square, but it might be a useful exercise to just sit down for a while and write 2 lists - one of practical issues that you need to solve and the other of emotional challenges that you have (i.e. deciding how you feel about people, places, the future, the past).

    That will help you break down your intellectual load which will in turn give you some emotional relief and a bit of energy to start approaching things constructively. Remember, take small steps at a time if you're feeling overloaded. Make a decision about a small practical problem, for example, and tick it off your list.

    Emotionally, you may be desperate to confront everything at once, but don't think thoughts that make you feel overwhelmed. Rather, think thoughts that you personally can cope with and act upon. These will lead to solving the bigger problems over time.

    Hope that helps - I'm sure you'll get lots of useful advice and support from others.

    Pete

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    Avalon Member Lifebringer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Remember it always gets worse, before it gets better, and don't dwell on the timing of the "end of zodiac chart time/galactic alignment. Whoever is meant to survive, will, just do the best you can to prepare if you are one of the remnant who does, and realize, it's always been in the creator's hands, and there are times when whole tribes of civilization has been transported until the calamities are over. Also remember the Creator's promise to Noah and the other Heavenly Hosts, that he will NOT bring about the destruction of all of mankind/humans again. In Revelations it specifically says that he will remove all the bad guys, I have NO doubt on that, but find myself sometimes astrodaydream traveling as I seek answers to last minute questions. Remember it's 11 minutes after 11pm until 11 before 12 of the 22nd and then the golden age comes in. If we are correct in our asumption and readings of ancient text, be prepared to do all you can to meditate, and lighten your heart. This is your soul's time, and you must work on clearing the false and bringing in the truth so that the visions for the future of the rest of the world, can be utilized materialisticly. I understand this is the time to ask and be still and paitent for the answer.

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    Avalon Member Sidney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hi Newlyn, I was just telling someone today that many many people are having chaos in their lives, and its not just us (my family). there is something to the cliche' "Misery loves company". Not that with wish bad times on someone else but that I don't feel so alone in knowing this. Supposedly part of the galactic alignment is, entering out of the chaos and into calmer waters so to speak. I hope that is correct because I too need a break from the never ending chaos, because for me, too, its been a hellofa year..
    Know you are not alone, we are all family here at avalon.
    And know that there is calm after the storm.

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    United States Moderator Marianne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Newlyn, it's a good thing that you've connected again to Avalon.

    You are not alone in feeling lost and tossed about. But take heart, there is much love for you, just be open to it.

    My grown son has recently gone through a rough patch and is doing much better. I agree with Ulli, it'd be a good time to reconnect with your family.

    One thing to remember is to not be afraid to feel emotions. The only way through them is to feel them, welcome them and process them, then release them.

    Flower essences can help greatly in helping you process emotional pain and angst. Let me know if you want more info on them.

    I'm also sending you healing energy. Please let me know how you are doing, and if you want to continue to receive the energy.

    Much love to you,
    Marianne

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hello Newlyn,

    In my opinion, you are far more ready to 'meet the new times' than you believe.

    Quote You know that feeling when you have just gone through a breakup, or lost your job, and everything is terrible and terrifying and you don’t know what to do, and you find yourself crying in a pile on your bedroom floor, barely able to remember how to use the phone, desperately looking for some sign of God...finding nothing there to comfort you?

    The thing about going through sudden or scary or sad transitions (like a breakup) is that one of the things you lose is your future: your expectations of what the story of your life so far was going to become. When you lose that partner or that job or that person, your future dissolves in front of you.

    And of course, this is terrifying.

    But look, now you get to make a choice. In pieces, in a pile on the floor, with no idea how to go forward, your expectations of the future are meaningless. Your stories about the past do not apply. You are in flux, you are changing, you are flowing in a new way, and this is an incredibly powerful opportunity to become new again: to choose how you want to put yourself back together. Confusion can be an incredible teacher—how could you ever learn if you already had it all figured out? Source
    Your vulnerability is inspiring, Newlyn.

    Being vulnerable leads to tremendous growth, in my experience.

    Sending much love to you, sweet friend. You are not alone.
    Let go or be dragged. -Zen proverb

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Never forget that this too shall pass. Only the strong and brave dive deep to experience such torment and pain.
    Its just a lesson that is helping you expand your soul by filling it with understanding. What you are experiencing is a BLESSING.

    I share my love.
    Ps. These are a few tricks that always work for me. Kind of like 'fake it until you make it'...
    -sit in front of mirror and smile
    -repeat a mantra 'i am a loving, peaceful and joyous being'
    -jump up and down or do something really childish
    -breathe....

    You are never alone,
    Lots of love
    OOO

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    "the path goes ever on and on down from the door where it began" ~the hobbit (i think)

    "seeing is believing" ~thomas (just kidding)

    Erasmus: with learning comes suffering


    "our righteousness is as filthy rags" ~St Paul

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    Australia Avalon Member Anchor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Newlyn,

    I read your post and then awaited any words to come.

    They did not.

    Then I read your post again and saw this in your signature and saw the words:

    "Live without pretending
    Love without depending
    Listen without defending
    Speak without offending"

    They trump any I could write.

    Furthermore, they suggest to me you do actually "know". You know that you are sufficiently empowered to prevail against all challenges - but also another part of you carries doubts and fears.

    This is a trial. A test of faith. As has been said above - it is your dark night of the soul. The long night, that precedes a glorious new day. It is a test of the faith in yourself, faith that all is well, faith that all will be well, and more importantly faith in your intuition and your inner guiding light, such that you can take the next steps and then shine that light about you for others.

    It is ok to ask for help when you need it.

    It is not unusual to experience doubts, fears and other such challenges.

    You are NOT alone.
    Last edited by Anchor; 19th December 2012 at 01:02.
    -- Let the truth be known by all, let the truth be known by all, let the truth be known by all --

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Please look in the mirror. You will see the best friend you will ever have and who will never leave you. You are not alone.

    Once you're feeling better, remember to receive love, you must give love.

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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    I just posted a new thread relating to some channeled information on the subject of the 2012 winter solstice and what that represents. Even if you don't read it all, here are some words that you may find of value:

    That thread is here:
    https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...Mayan-calendar

    Here is a little extract:

    Quote In the face of fear, remember love.

    In the face of anger, remember compassion.

    In the face of disunity, remember union, for are you not part of everyone and everything that you meet?

    In the face of seeming dearth, lack and limitation of resources, we ask you to dwell in thanksgiving and joy upon the unlimited possibilities that dwell within your imagination.

    We say to you this: for every problem that faces you this day, there is a solution.

    We have no way of knowing what you face and what you shall face, but we do know that your peoples have been given not only great challenges but also great gifts and unlimited resources.

    The challenge that lies before you is not to husband dwindling resources but to begin to see the resources that are available to you that are not now properly valued and to realize that the greatest resource of all is the compassion that lies within your heart.

    It is hard sometimes to see how in times of distress the answers lie within you rather than outside of you, for all of the distress seems to be coming from outside of you. However, we say to you at this time that in our opinion that which shall heal you and your planet and bring you through the end of time to greet the dawning of a new day is that which lies within you waiting to be acknowledged.
    -- Let the truth be known by all, let the truth be known by all, let the truth be known by all --

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  28. Link to Post #15
    Canada Avalon Member
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    You made a wise choice posting here.

    Power to you, Peace be with you, you are not alone.

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  30. Link to Post #16
    Canada Avalon Member sandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hi Newlyn,

    Experienced where you are at a few times for sure in my life. Looking back they were times when decisions needed to be made as they were driving me crazy, because of not deciding. I was afraid to make a choice and trust what my gut/intuition was telling me to do.

    The fear of not knowing the results of listening to my inner voice and staying with what I knew kept me inundated with never ending prattle in my mind. Much of the never ending mind chatter was supposition, fear laden and guilt ridden over the negative pictures of the possible down side to my decisions.

    However when it was make a choice or go insane I always followed my intuition as that what was talking the loudest all along and wouldn't be quiet, even over my fear and ego needs. These leaps of faith in myself were very scary and the last one I took I was 60years old, all by myself, not working and physically sick as well as grieving the loss of my Mother and other family members. I left all I knew and was comfortable with and although times have been harrowing and deeply sad it was the best move I could have made.

    I found my self worth and learned to value, trust and love me. Now it is the relationship that I cherish the most and I seldom fight with my intuition anymore even if it means my decisions are not blessed by others around me.

    Take care of you and all else will fall into place
    Love and Light Always/Sandy

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  32. Link to Post #17
    Avalon Member norman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Yes Newlyn, I had a hell of a time during the spring and early summer.
    ..................................................my first language is TYPO..............................................

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    Mexico Avalon Member Teti75's Avatar
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Hi Newlyn.
    I know that is healthy is to reconnect with our roots, even when is painful, honor and thank our parents and ancestors no matter what has been our experience.
    Thanks to them we come to this strange and fun life, even when sometimes it does not seem to. This exercise has been very useful in hard times for me, it really put things together. As easy to write a letter, and you don't have to send it if you don't want to.
    This too will pass

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  36. Link to Post #19
    Avalon Retired Member
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    It sounds to me like you've found the winning formula. You must have meant it when you said yes. What now? Don't adjust. Let the old you fall entirely and finally apart.

    I know that just leaves you hanging like a dolphin caught between leaps, and yes, that's exactly what it feels like.

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  38. Link to Post #20
    United States Unsubscribed
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    Default Re: Times of panic and big anxiety - feeling of being off the path

    Newlyn,

    you knew coming back to Avalon right now would erase the loneliness, because here we are all family...

    you thought about it for a while, but now seemed like you couldn't wait a moment longer...

    have you been having dreams?

    I feel your connection to Avalon now, welcome back...

    we're going through intense energy, some of us are feeling like we drank a 5th of dimension...

    ending relationships are always tough, and future uncertain...

    are you staying for you, or her?

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