Forcing the Pieces to Fit

[Freed Fox]

Stuck

There is a very distinct feeling I have, that I am a square peg shoved into a round hole.

I haven't any real notion as to what lies on either side of this hole, but here I am; with just enough awareness to clearly see that this isn't right. It seems, for all intents and purposes, to be a mistake. Many here would say that I pre-arranged this misfit, before arriving here. I can't refute that notion, but for the life of me I cannot see any underlying purpose for it.

Bandages

This is very distinct from depression, mind you, for it has always been this way. The only variables have been my awareness of the fact and my ability to ignore it by focusing upon the positive. On that note, although efficacious to a limited extent, simply shifting focus for me is ultimately inadequate... A mere bandage upon a wound which is apparently too deep to heal in a simple matter of time.

I take time to count my blessings, and indeed am very cognizant of the ways in which it could be worse. The examples of such are blatantly evident in the world today. However, this is still yet another bandage - in the end ineffective - and a far more perverse one than maintaining positive focus when you really think about it. Take this metaphor as (what I believe to be) entirely appropriate for the mentality that this boils down to;

A village is overrun by a conquering army, and the people therein are pulled from their homes and lined up, standing in a long, single row. A man with a sword makes his way down the line, mutilating each villager in any number of random ways, purely on his own whim and without any real rhyme or reason beyond inflicting pain.

Some villagers lose both their eyes, others lose a hand, or an ear, or a tongue.

The way I see it, being born into 'ideal' familial, genetic, or socio-economic conditions, as opposed to war-torn, third-world countries in this day and age is akin to something like having your ears cut off. An outsider comes up to you and says, "What are you complaining about? You could have lost both your hands, or been struck blind or mute like some of the others!"

Rather callous, and at the very least ignorant. Senseless suffering has still occurred, without purpose or justification. Furthermore and perhaps more importantly, this sort of rationale ignores a deeper level of suffering that each of us with TRUE empathy and awareness experience when we learn of the suffering of others (particularly outward, overt suffering in excess of our own). Only psychopaths (or the truly jaded and apathetic) derive pleasure or satisfaction or even contentment from the knowledge that they don't personally have it as bad as other people elsewhere.

Bandages all... dressings which serve to temporarily obscure what lies underneath; wounds which need to be truly addressed rather than ignored. They need to be disinfected and sutured, not merely covered up. At best they remain the same; at worst they fester and grow.

Thomas the Doubter



The lifting of the veil, the shift, the change, manifesting reality, ascension, blah, blah, blah.

I'm sorry folks, but I'm going to be the one asking to touch the wound for myself before I believe he has returned from the grave.

Then again, Thomas' disbelief didn't really offend Jesus in the slightest. He was happy to oblige. Question people here about their extraordinary/supernatural/paranormal abilities or encounters on the other hand... Well, tempers tend to run a little high. Not in every case, but in many.

Force-Fit

Square pegs shoved into round holes...perhaps that describes all of us, or many of us... Or, perhaps not.

Perhaps it is merely what we are lead to do when uncertainty becomes too much. When we simply need the comfort, or safety, or satisfaction that comes with BELIEVING we have some form of explanation, or level of understanding, or sense of purpose in this sad, scary world. We are said to be social animals, after all. Even when the word 'conformity' leaves a bad taste in our mouths, at some level we crave it. We want to share and belong and understand. We desperately search for answers, and when they cannot be found we latch on to the next best thing; whatever sounds 'close enough'. We know it's not the truth, deep down, but we tell ourselves it is and we're reinforced by whoever came up with our selected philosophy/dogma/theory/paradigm, along with others who have latched on, and before long we believe wholly in a lie.

Let's be clear; I'm not dismissing anything in particular out of hand. I've said once before that I've at least learned enough in this life to know that I cannot dismiss something on the sole basis that I have not experienced it for myself.

That being said, it is incredibly hard at times to bite my tongue and turn the other cheek when I see users here churning out utter Science FICTION and stating it like it is an absolute certainty...practically like it should be common knowledge. They will accept these massive conspiracy theories and abstract metaphysical phenomena as simple fact and yet do not seem to question for a single second that they have misinterpreted certain facets of this utterly complex reality? REALLY???

Regards

I had to create this thread, had to say something, not because I want to criticize, demonize, or ostracize anybody here, but because I love this place. I love the insights it has provided me in the past, the various (sometimes obscure) avenues for learning and growth and discovery, and the utter potential it holds. Furthermore I love the quality of the people, many of the members who still dwell here, whom I have gotten to know in likely only limited capacities.

I appreciate that there are truth seekers, free thinkers, deep philosophers, and spiritual explorers here. But with all the great deceptions which take place in the societies surrounding us, I simply wish that we could STOP LYING TO OURSELVES!

There was more that was going to go here...possibly still will... but I believe I've run out of steam for the time being.

Good night, and good luck.

[Ernie Nemeth]

I thought I saw where you were going, but maybe not so much. The feeling of "be happy its only your one hand" rationel is particularly inadequate on any level really. It has not been a great comfort to me, at any rate.

But where do you go for truth, then? Who will be the harbinger of the message? How will we know? These questions have been asked since there were people to think it up. Recent philosophers have said to look amongst the elements, to look outside ourselves. That path has had great success, but so far at least it has no soul.

Isn't the obvious to then look within? It is that or find another master, or find yet another intellectual paradigm to dismantle and dissect until there is nothing but emptiness again. That is the uncertainty, isn't it? That maybe, just maybe, the grass really is greener on the other side, just like those folks over there are saying...

[araucaria]

Hi Freed Fox

St Thomas is often viewed negatively for being a doubter when he is just a scientist requiring physical proof of a physical reality. Caravaggio’s St Thomas is putting a squarish-round finger in an elastic hole, showing that he is doing something right! When everyone else has believed, the scientist is the last to be convinced, which is why the Buddhist will ask him what took him so long.

In France, the last vehicle in a wedding cortege will carry a broom attached to the tail fender: this will be someone who knows the route acting as sweeper, i.e. making sure no one less familiar with the area gets lost by the wayside, and telling other vehicles that the abnormal line of traffic has passed. There might be a bit of shepherding to do say if someone is left behind at a light, or if other cars get in the way.

I think this is the role played by the scientist. The point is that the system can handle a certain amount of blind following; indeed that is its purpose. It is rather paradoxical, because those who could find their way around blindfold have to behave as if in unfamiliar territory so that those who are actually lost can pretend to know their way around. But it works

What ‘works’ is that everyone arrives safely. Hence the notion of the Buddhist being ahead is meaningless. He can only be satisfied when the scientist (and everyone else in between) has caught up.

[Crazy Louie]

Freed Fox

We are in the same camp. Stick to what you know in your heart - kids read comics and want to believe - i.e. - media crap - The X Files - more crap about the truth is out there. When the truth was and always will be in us but like the former can be just as distant to reach. There are different forums on this site. For the most part the spiritual sub forum is going to be where no one lacks understanding in what your saying. However people have freewill to believe in any direction they want to and do. Its kind of redundant to say your not aiming an attack at anyone when you are - even if you say your sorry - etc. I mean you did a cya on that but people are not fools - and the politically correct jizz is get old. Just say it and own it.

I hope you can accept that there is no healing of the wound. When jesus came back his wounds were not healed - a reminder - so many of us are wounded healers -and we have been known to rant at god - why me why me - he is indifferent - if you really need an answer he will let you know later perhaps - but by then it won't matter - you will be beyond the question.

Now please accept that I am not aiming this at you in anyway (lol) - we are in the same camp - its the cloud of unknowning - the dark night of the soul - etc - I think because we have doubt - and our ego does not like that - we have a tendancy to lash out at people who seem smug in having an answer for their life and its meaning.

Now here is a quick story - this little kid that lives nearby is really poor - along with his family - and one day recently he was going on and on about how his mom was going to get this cool job and they would get to travel and they would get a great house to live in and the money was going to come flying in. So I asked him what this job was - and it was a sales job. In other words telemarketing - now then I could have said "kid kid - its a crap job - nothing is going to change for you." but I had a hard time not shedding tear because I knew this kid was repeating things his mom had told him - her own desperation of having a better life for herself and her kids - who was I to take that fairytale future away from that kid or his mom? See heres a reality - some people do not think about getting enlightened because they are just trying to eat and have a place to sleep. What kind of enlightened soul would be trying to explain to someone in such a situation that they need to get right with jesus or that they need to kill the buddha in the road - intead of reaching into his pocket and handing the kid 30 and saying to him
"well you get your mom to take you all for pizza to celebrate the new job." and they are so poor you know that kid ain't getting any pizza - because 30 is 30 and mac and cheese will make five meals for a family intead of one. (thats called useful enlightenment).

What things would come out of your mouth if god was speaking through your lips? I am in your camp - but you don't have to be in mine.
I am just responding to what I see about myself in what you have said. thank you for the lesson.
Isaiah 45:7 --- Luke 14:26-27 - sometimes people help you in ways they never intended - point being god will use everything -- EVERYTHING. take care.

[markpierre]

One thing the Soul of you did was create a situation where you couldn't not look.
Look at the world that you've been sleepwalking through, and the you that's been doing the sleeping.
It's a weird experience to be observing yourself in a nightmare. How do I turn this lunacy around?
You can't go back.

You're stuck there between realization and the paralysis of the content of your life. Your life is everything you're looking at.
That paralysis is part of the content. Don't worry about it. It's just another thing you don't know.
The outcome of the future is a pretty impossible thing to imagine, though there are plenty of prophets. They're not awake.
Who said you have to know?
If God were waiting for you to figure out which lever to pull it would have been a pretty poor plan.
The plan is; there is only one lever. It's sticky. Keep pulling.

It's a much-much bigger mind that's pulling the strings, than light workers with their hands in the air and some ancient enemy.
Unfortunate for you, that mind is yours. You can call it a collective, but all you know is you. But not really.
Not yet. Just not yet. That doesn't resemble 'never'. Doesn't even imply it.
If you weren't confused and upset there would be no fuel to propel you. Your human mind would just sit there.
You need something to resurrect from.

Every wall you're crushed against, is an example of how you say 'No! That's a wall, and I refuse to pass through it.'
Strangely you pass through it. Mysteriously it left you. After all that anxiety, you're still here. A bit lighter.
But in order to pass through it, you'll notice you have to get in it. YourSelf has big things to show you.
In a moment you'll be fine with the idea that you don't know what you can't know. Or not.
You begin to develop reliance on something bigger, and trust is next to hearing. But only because then you're listening.
Want to impress the aliens? Do That! Every idea and belief and story is a wall. Don't build any new ones.

But hey, if it's any consolation, we share all of the sorrow of the totality of human suffering from all of time.
That's our second deepest memory. I wouldn't bash yourself for acknowledging that. You know it by feeling it.

[greybeard]

There came a point where I dont have to be right---tremendous freedom.
I dont even have to do right or get it right.
I dont have to fit or not fit.
People dont have to like or dislike me or what I say and do.
Though it is nice to be appreciated and appreciate, that does not have to happen.
I dont have to know, though I am still inquisitive--- I was born curious.

I appreciate markpierres input greatly and others of course.

Chris

[Bill Ryan]

Posted by Freed Fox (here)
it is incredibly hard at times to bite my tongue and turn the other cheek when I see users here churning out utter Science FICTION and stating it like it is an absolute certainty...practically like it should be common knowledge. They will accept these massive conspiracy theories and abstract metaphysical phenomena as simple fact and yet do not seem to question for a single second that they have misinterpreted certain facets of this utterly complex reality? REALLY???

Regards

I had to create this thread, had to say something, not because I want to criticize, demonize, or ostracize anybody here, but because I love this place. I love the insights it has provided me in the past, the various (sometimes obscure) avenues for learning and growth and discovery, and the utter potential it holds. Furthermore I love the quality of the people, many of the members who still dwell here, whom I have gotten to know in likely only limited capacities.

I appreciate that there are truth seekers, free thinkers, deep philosophers, and spiritual explorers here. But with all the great deceptions which take place in the societies surrounding us, I simply wish that we could STOP LYING TO OURSELVES!

There's a thread which could be seen as this one's companion: Ernie Nemeth's, here:

What do you like about Avalon? A reason to value differently...

And, of course, different people are drawn here here for different reasons. I've stated in a couple of places:

The principal purpose of the Avalon forum is to encourage and support positive, constructive, and high quality dialog and networking with the goal of creating the future on Planet Earth for ourselves and our children that we want to experience.

But to do that, we have to have good information. The 'science fiction' frustrates me, too, but I do understand that thinking that Comet Ison might be a spaceship (it's not, and neither was Elenin) is more open-minded and creditable than believing that the Twin Towers were brought down by hijackers with box-cutters. It's a step in the right direction!

We have to understand that, as Alex Jones always says, there's a war on for your mind. And there is. The way to counter the Great Awakening (has that term ever been used?) is to throw confusion and clever lies into the mix.

Most channeled messages (yes, even 'Messages from Matthew'), a large number of silly YouTube videos made (or forwarded) by people with more enthusiasm than discernment, people still thinking they'll someday get rich overnight from the Iraqi Dinar, all work -- in different ways -- against what could, potentially, be an intelligent, well-informed, closely-aligned, game-changing and planet-changing movement.

I use the word 'movement' because this is our third and last chance to take back the planet. The first chance may have been round about the time of Christ, and that failed and was taken over. The second was in the 60s and early 70s, and that, too, failed and was taken over.

We won't get a third chance.

If you care about Planet Earth (or your children), this is it.

Our thought processes are being messed with all the time. Psychic attacks, electronic attacks (neither of these are science fiction), deliberate confusion spread with all good intentions by people who don't realize that a forwarded e-mail they read in the morning has information that stems from satire, a cheap (or sometimes a clever) hoax, or often a simple misunderstanding or lack of understanding.

And conflicts between truthseekers are deliberately, but covertly, stirred up in every which way: while human nature is always a factor, the problems are often amplified with classified technology that works as if controlling a model car with little knobs and levers. No science fiction there.

And on top of that, there exist ETs and discarnate entities that do not all have our best interests at heart, and have their own complex, dark agendas. This isn't science fiction, either.

Yet we're all still standing. Take a bow!

My own purpose is:

1. to bring people together,
2. to give people good information (or access to good information),
3. to help them understand what is happening,
4. to help them understand what's at stake,
5. and to help people realize their own tremendous individual power.

I very often feel I'm not doing enough. But that's what we're ALL doing here, and I thank you, Freed Fox, for being part of the team. You are greatly valued here.

The above is written first thing in the morning (before my first cup of coffee, really). It's more like a diary entry than a forum post, but, hey, I guess that's okay too.

[Cristian]

We won't get a fourth chance.

[jiminii]

you know it is weird not having pictures. I mean all these people have them and can go from the bottom most desolate to the top most serene just holding on to these pictures. It is probably the first thing a natural clear gets hungry for, the absence of pictures. All these people in pain or some kind of miss emotion or missed emotion. The only way I can feel it is these reptilians running electronics on this Ghost in this body I live with, (it is not me for I am a spirit). And all this grief it is putting out. I am outside it, looking at it in wonderment, "what is putting all that grief inside this humanoid body I am occupying?" It is not me and I also KNOW it is not the ghost. I can more or less experience it if I want to see what this kind of experience is about. I find no need or use in it. The only thing it does is pull other things from the outside world in on it. So I can't really afford to allow it inside. I have to get my space out there and start vanishing all this YUCK since all it does is continue to contribute to the YUCK THAT GETS CREATED BY IT somewhere on the planet. I have to REMEMBER how POWERFUL I AM. If I think it, it might manifest itself into this physical universe. So I have to demand of myself to stay in PT, (present time ...you know to get people in to PT they would need at least 3 life threatening situations to happen in a day and I guarantee HE WILL BE IN PT and not wallowing in some past pain he seems to find some joy in experiencing). I have to do this not for me, but for all the rest of this planet. I have to demand others to stop the bull and get in and start operating because it ISN'T over yet.

It will soon be over and when this thing switches WE will be the one's running it and it won't have all the electronics and it won't have the suffering. I can have sympathy for the suffering BUT NOT AT THIS TIME. My THOUGHTS ARE TOO POWERFUL AND IT ONLY EXTENDS INTO THE REST OF THE PLACE AND CAUSES MORE SUFFERING..

so if you like this place I HOPE you keep this in mind and ONE GOOD THING I LEARNED FROM SCIENTOLOGY IS THIS.

"NO CASE ON POST". this is important. You have to have your CONFRONT IN ALWAYS to keep OUT OF THESE MEMORY BANKS that will DESTROY YOUR FUTURE.

so my only suggestion is this. WHEN YOU COME TO AVALON come here to HEAL and do one thing.

decide this IS THE ONLY JOB THAT WILL CHANGE ANYTHING and also decide since it is your job to have "NO CASE ON POST"

jim

[Fred Steeves]

Freed Fox, I think you are actually in a quite enviable position. You're aware, you have the burning passion, you are not afraid to challenge anything and everything, and you certainly seem more than willing to leave behind that which doesn't work.

What you're looking for is right inside of you, you *are* that which you seek, and I think deep down you know that. Don't you? This also makes it very difficult for someone to bulls**t you.

By the way, I would have wanted to touch and inspect Jesus' wounds as well...

Cheers,

Fred

[Hazel]

Freed Fox..

your eloquence and depth of perception steels to the marrow for so many of us here I'm sure...

Uncertainty smothering our self/other trust is as a given in this life, and it can seem like our only rudder when all said and done is just/only... the momentum found in the daily rythms we espouse to.

But... what is sweet I find is that though I may look to finding the ultimate mantle of discernment, the best cloth I can bare next to my skin is that of honest weave. Because in finality, I know that when I muster self scrutiny of any usefullness.. I see in the mirror a person of glaring simplicity. This admission after a life time of gross Existential urge conflicted by 'spiritual empathy'... has been my key to freedom from my worm eaten 'exquisite corpse'.

These words may or may not be useful to you, but at least I can release them for myself as an offering to someone I recognise as suffering the miasma of 'the outsider' in a world of brute folly.

In the spirit of solace to your disapointment..
H.

[Akasha]

Dear FF,

Being the square peg has it's advantages: you can't be turned around for example, unlike a dowel. If you're being forced into the round hole, see yourself as the metaphorical mortiser, there to re-form your sur-round-ings in accordance with truth.

[araucaria]

One major difficulty lies in categorizing particular instances of SF and non-SF. For Bill to say that ‘Comet Ison might be a spaceship (but) it's not’ is helpful as a wise, considered opinion but not as info. Then again, Ison is a simple case: the comet either is a spaceship or it isn’t. Other cases can be more complex. And then of course, the examples Bill gives of non-SF are considerably more mindboggling than a lot of stuff advertised as fiction. So what boggles the mind is not a useful criterion. You then face Brian O’Leary’s dilemma: how to be open-minded without your brains falling out

The average poster is on a steep learning curve in so many ways. It starts with learning how to type, which may not be easy for older folk. Then with presenting one’s thoughts clearly. And then again in developing and arranging these thoughts into a tool or system for processing new information in a cogent manner. This is not so much a matter of integrity or the lack of it, although it can be that too, as of gaining a grounding in a variety of unfamiliar areas so as to gain a better insight into how things work.

So basically, we are all to a greater or lesser extent underqualified, undereducated, undertrained, underinformed etc. etc. — understandably so, given the nature and scale of the problem — and yet we are still here, as Bill says, and heading for our destination.

@Akasha: yes, or possibly there is a square hole waiting for the odd square peg to come along.

[ceetee9]

Another fine thread Freed Fox.! Thank you.

Although I don’t recall ever thinking that I was a square peg pushed into a round hole, the metaphor does seem appropriate.

As far back as I can remember I felt like I was somehow different and didn’t belong here. I questioned everything and seldom took anything I was told at face value. Even at a young age I would occasionally (and jokingly--or so I thought) tell people that I was from another planet. And even though I had lots of friends and did most of the things young boys did, I thoroughly enjoyed wandering off by myself to be alone and think about things—nature, the world, who I was, where did I came from, why was I here, what my life would be like in 10, 20, 30 years, what the purpose of life was, what other life-forms existed “out there,” etc. I don’t know if any of my friends did the same thing because I don’t recall ever discussing most of those things with them. So perhaps maybe we all think we’re different or don’t belong here at some point in our lives and, thus, it is perfectly “normal.”

At any rate, where I’m trying to go with this is that if we believe that we are, first and foremost, spiritual beings—a spark of the Creator, if you will—and that we “chose” to come here at this time for whatever purpose then it seems to me that all the answers we seek should be found within. So if that’s true then why do we continue to seek answers and salvation from others; be they clergymen, teachers, politicians, scientists or aliens? One reason I can think of is because the Creator, our higher self, and/or other higher spiritual beings are not talking—at least not to me in any way that I can understand—if they are trying to communicate with my human self at all.

This then begs the question, why? Am I inept at understanding their communications? Did I do something so heinous in this life or a past life (that I’m unaware of) that makes me not worthy of an answer? Is my connection to the Creator or my higher self broke? Am I not capable of understanding the responses to my questions? Or is the initial premise wrong?

I have always questioned everything—particularly my own beliefs. Unfortunately, I have received few, if any, satisfactory answers from without and no answers (at least that I can understand) that stemmed from within. Sure, I’ve received plenty of opinions in response to my questions put to others and my rational side provides plenty of possible answers when I look inside, but none of these responses have provided definitive, irrefutable proof of correct answers. Is this what life is all about? We go ‘round and ‘round in a continuous loop searching for “the truth” only to slowly drive ourselves completely mad learning literally nothing before we die. Could this then be Hell? I wonder.

[RMorgan]

Hey my brother,

I hear you mate...It´s about pollution.

People often use the "join the dots" metaphor here, and using the same metaphor, I can confidently say that the current scenario is polluted with so many dots, the great majority of them being pure distractions, that the overall big picture is indistinguishable from a blank sheet of paper, where anyone can freely draw whatever figure they want.

The "join the dots" game is only reliable if there´s only a certain number of dots, distributed in a way that ends up clearly indicating the overall shape of only one possible final picture, otherwise it leaves space for arbitrary and random formation of useless images which serve no purpose other then to pass time, to entertain...

That´s the thing...We are working following a reductive principle, to gradually eliminate useless and pollutant dots, so we can focus on the real ones. However, the number of newly created dots obviously overwhelms the number of eliminated ones, which leads us to the "one step ahead, two steps back" position.

In this context, curiosity is either the best friend and worse enemy of the truth-seeker, since the same curiosity which leads us to solve problems, leads us to be distracted and eventually become attached to dead ends.

You see, things are complicated...I understand and share your frustration. I feel exactly like you.

So, is it possible to turn this situation to our advantage? To eliminate the countless pollutant dots, deliberately created to prevent us from viewing the really relevant ones, faster than the speed which they are produced, while at the same time having enough energy to solve serious problems that deserve our immediate attention? Well, it´s possible, but improbable...Most of the times, actually for centuries, we, the people, aren´t left any other possible choices besides those of the complexity level of choosing the color of the shirt that you´re going to wear next morning.

The way I see it, we´re like hamsters in a wheel...We are conditioned in a way that we become seriously convinced that we´re going somewhere by letting ourselves be entertained by the overwhelming avalanche of conspiracy theories and alternative media´s storytellers-of-the-month, while in fact, we aren´t going anywhere. There´s absolutely no significant progress.

Raf.

[araucaria]

Well Raf, there is a selection process, but it usually takes a little time. In any field of endeavour, there are many more current practitioners than members of previous generations who are still remembered. Working out which contemporaries are likely to stand the test of time would have to rely on a historical analysis of the common traits of those who are remembered. Can this be applied to the case at issue? I don't know.

[Freed Fox]

Posted by Fred Steeves (here)
Freed Fox, I think you are actually in a quite enviable position. You're aware, you have the burning passion, you are not afraid to challenge anything and everything, and you certainly seem more than willing to leave behind that which doesn't work.

I hadn't really looked at it that way, Fred. Thanks for the positive spin.

Though, I think you're giving me too much credit saying I have a 'burning passion'... Doesn't feel that way to me, at least not most of the time.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
But where do you go for truth, then? [...] Isn't the obvious to then look within?

Pretty much. I try to keep one eye within and one eye without; an ear on the ground and a hand on my heart, if you will. Life lessons have tempered my willingness to blindly trust in anything or anyone... But questioning everything (including myself, endlessly) does kind of reach the point of absurdity, in a way. I trust my intuition without being dedicated or in reverence to it, if that makes sense. It's a fine line, and it brings me to ceetee's point on the matter;

Posted by ceetee9 (here)
One reason I can think of is because the Creator, our higher self, and/or other higher spiritual beings are not talking—at least not to me in any way that I can understand—if they are trying to communicate with my human self at all.

This then begs the question, why? Am I inept at understanding their communications? Did I do something so heinous in this life or a past life (that I’m unaware of) that makes me not worthy of an answer? Is my connection to the Creator or my higher self broke? Am I not capable of understanding the responses to my questions? Or is the initial premise wrong?

[...]

Is this what life is all about? We go ‘round and ‘round in a continuous loop searching for “the truth” only to slowly drive ourselves completely mad learning literally nothing before we die. Could this then be Hell? I wonder.

Questions which plague me as well friend, all too often. I share these same apprehensions.

Posted by RMorgan (here)
The way I see it, we´re like hamsters in a wheel...We are conditioned in a way that we become seriously convinced that we´re going somewhere by letting ourselves be entertained by the overwhelming avalanche of conspiracy theories and alternative media´s storytellers-of-the-month, while in fact, we aren´t going anywhere. There´s absolutely no significant progress.

This too is a concern which often creeps up. I want to lay it to rest, definitively, but I can't quite do it. For instance, I really appreciate the intention behind Bill's RSA project, and dramatic observable results from it would be immensely encouraging to me. While I have yet to observe such, I am also not discarding the possibility that it will happen. Or perhaps, alternatively, there will be subtle results from it which will ultimately be of great importance. I would very much like to believe that but I remain skeptical, and some would point to that very skepticism as being a severely limiting factor to my own personal power. I can't confirm or deny as much, and there is potential evidence on both sides of the argument.

Posted by markpierre (here)
YourSelf has big things to show you.
In a moment you'll be fine with the idea that you don't know what you can't know. Or not.
You begin to develop reliance on something bigger...

Posted by greybeard (here)
I dont have to know, though I am still inquisitive---

At times I feel I am moving toward this, and other times away from it. Truly, these are inspiring messages but I can't say what the implications of such a state would be outside of a certain inner peace and personal contentment, or even if such a state of being is necessarily the ideal for everyone.

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
I very often feel I'm not doing enough. But that's what we're ALL doing here, and I thank you, Freed Fox, for being part of the team. You are greatly valued here.

Thank you very kindly, Bill. It is encouraging to know that you share some of these same hang-ups, and a point particularly well made regarding those with more enthusiasm than discernment. However there is a point here that araucaria brought up, regarding criteria used in separating falsehoods/fabrications/fantasies from realities, or at least potential realities. Take this for example;

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
And on top of that, there exist ETs and discarnate entities that do not all have our best interests at heart, and have their own complex, dark agendas. This isn't science fiction, either.

This is one of those things which I find myself in the minority (on this site) in questioning. NOT denying, you understand, but merely questioning. Take, for example, in the case of a human organized cabal/illuminati/elite (which, for my money, is far more observable and verifiable, even if still relatively under wraps to the public at large). Would it not be extremely beneficial to their agenda in keeping the common man subservient, distracted, and afraid to inject notions of greater, more omniscient and omnipresent forces which exceed even their own capabilities (and thus be seen as a greater threat)? This is what I keep coming back to, and particularly in the case of extraterrestrials, it wouldn't seem they would have much need for secrecy or subtlety if they possess technology so far in advance of our own that interstellar space travel is even possible.

I don't say any of this to bring about contention, and especially not to pick on you Bill! I have said before that I respect your intellect and I stand by that... I am also in humble observance of the fact that you have had many, MANY more contacts over the course of your life, and have personally met with a much larger number of intelligent and inquisitive people than I have over time (several of these having held 'insider' positions). For those reasons and others I tend to keep your position at the very least under consideration, but even for the most well informed, these seem to be treacherous and murky waters, almost impossible to navigate through reliably. Even otherwise intelligent and respectable whistleblowers might have been fed mis/disinfo, or even been deceived or brainwashed directly into believing false stories which they later spread to the rest of us with nothing but good intentions and a belief in their own honesty and legitimacy.

[TraineeHuman]

You seem to be making a number of different points all at once, FF, all of them outstanding. I take it one of them is something along the lines that at least a few times in our lives, if not more often, we should all do a kind of stocktake of what do we really know. That we should throw out everything we don’t really know, and admit that we don’t know all those things. I see that as a very valid point in any alternative or conspiracy area. I’m very glad you have the courage to state it so up front here and manage not to sound the least bit offensive in doing so.

Another one of your points has to do with making sense out of one’s life at some very deep level. Of course, meaninglessness and arbitrariness seem to be qualities woven into the fabric of all reality, at whatever “level” or perception. I suspect at a soul level it’s more important for us to learn our important lessons in unknowing, much more so than in knowing why or how our life’s experience is the way it is. I guess one of markpierre’s points was something along those lines.

In my own life, by the time I had reached somewhere in the fifties, something clicked. It became clear how every single last aspect of all the seemingly terrible jobs and relatives had suddenly now fitted kind of perfectly into one integrated whole. Each such excuse for me to suffer, I realized at that point, was teaching me some specific lesson I particularly needed to learn – in addition, of course, to the more general lessons such as why not drop all emotional suffering permanently now.

I could now see that all the supposedly terrible jobs and relatives etc seemed almost “tailor made” to put some focus on my weak spots, my neuroses, my inadequacies. Somehow or other, I came to see that nothing had been wasted. When I was in my twenties, I had found it kind of mind-boggling that the universe had expected me to do forms of work which were so “not me” – and I hardly suspected at the time that that was probably the universe’s point.

Similarly, in my adolescence I wondered a lot about why I had been stuck with such parents and family. Had there been nothing better available? I thought.

But today I find myself being thankful for every situation that I once would have found disappointing, because there’s always one more lesson in it. Frankly, I don’t see such things as arbitrary any more, but all integrated. But you want to put your hands in the wounds of the resurrected one before you’ll be satisfied, FF. That “resurrected” one therefore has to be yourself. Maybe you can draw some solace for your frustration from the fact that – as surveys show – most people get happier and happier the older they get – unless or until diseases or pains that come with being older start to exact their toll. But you won’t be satisfied until your own hands have verified the “resurrection” of integration, so how can anyone say something that will fully satisfy you? So I guess you need to have patience, and meanwhile just keep on cultivating that hugely admirable love of the truth.

[donk]

I have found that while these general types of discussions are often helpful and contain tons of wisdom, it's like a discussion panel on the merit and lessons of Alcoholics Anonymous...there's plenty of great--but broad--truths, but the real substance, the life-changing ah-ha moments, the actual plans of actions, practical solutions, and best stuff come from the individual accounts, the interpersonal relations, the 1st experiences...the "devil" is in the details.

I share all of your concerns, and found that engaging the specific source of the ones that rub me the most, in a way custom-tailored for the transmitter in hopes of best getting them to explain WHY? Why do you believe that, why are you telling me this or think this "your truth". In other words: what is the purpose of your presence?

They should be able to explain, in a way you can understand, and therefore discern. I try to apply this--this search for the source of the thought or idea--to anything I find myself having any sort of emotional response to. I try my best to hold myself to the same standard (intrgrity, right?), checking myself constantly to make sure I am consciously aware of what I am doing and thinking and why.

I believe there's a reason (purpose) for everything. Even distractions. It's frustrating, but life (to me) is about figuring out why. Maybe it would be more pleasant or fun if we already knew, if there weren't such an excess of the dots raf speaks of...but it ain't the case, so no use in getting bent or upset or depressed over it...after all, what purpose does holding onto those feelings serve?

[Hazel]

TraineeHuman..

my congratulations
because from my framework.. you nailed it

Experiential wisdom is a bit like taking out a big sucker splinter and finding some relief...
an awkward anology yeah.. but the type of aspect I need to remind myself of whenever I scrape an old wound or meet a 'new' test of my resilience. When all said and done theres no great need for salve when you're 1st Aid is awareness.

p.s...
re perpectives on 'making things fit'... an old friend of mine once impressed me by saying "Trust no one and keep your laser gun handy"... but as moss gathered I came to the softer understanding that self-trust engenders greater trust in 'other'. Essentially because... without that 'trusting' we may well be doomed to fear ridden visitations to a vapid void.

Clearer to say: stay open cos' you may lose your sight(s) on the scope...

Keep the Faith
H.