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Thread: Lost my Passion

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    Israel Avalon Member ATok's Avatar
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    Default Lost my Passion

    y0

    Yesterday I found a thread about George Kavassilas in this forum and felt like it may be the place where some people could understand me, so here it is.
    I would like to share with you something Im going trough at the moment and hopefully have some insights from you that I could use.

    My name is Konstantin, Im still young (22) hopefully forever
    All my life I had passion for something and for life itself, at the age of 18 I separated my self from the herd I was in.
    In Israel you must to serve in the army after you finish school or at the age of 18+, for me it wasn't so obvious that I must do something because its in the law, or because everybody else doing it, so I escaped, against all the chances, I knew that everyone will ask me in Israel why I didn't served, including the jobs I would like to apply, and still I had trust and some gut feelings that everything will be alright as long as I listen to this feelings.

    And so it was, my life has started, I had endless passion and drive to keep growing and learning. At the age of 19 I started my first business where I met lots of "successful" people that I learnt from and could talk to. At that point some of them advised me to start meditations, so I did. Since that point, my life got a different meaning, I felt like a flower finally getting the water and the sun I needed to blossom.

    While still learning how to meditate I had lots of OBE's (Astral projections & Lucid dreaming) that was very nurturing. Very soon I had so much questions to be answered, and lots of changes took place, Vegan then Breatharian, I traveled across Europe having lots of adventures and insights, and while in the process of Breatharianism I decided I want to go back home and study everything Im interested in.

    At home I built my self schedule for each minute of my day. After some months of studying and practicing everything I had interest in, synchronistically I saw some video of Bashar, I became obsessed with this entity so much that I felt like I found my Father, my teacher or someone who could really understand me and explain to me all I felt this years but could put in words or understanding. But the more I was into him the more I separated my self from others, I could see strong difference between the people I interacted with and me, at the beginning I had some hate towards the world, I couldn't understand why is that, that if I would be the president of USA, I could change the world, creating utopia, using ideas from Zeitgeist and my own, doing peace and promoting unconditional love to all, no hunger, no crime, no war, no slaughter of innocent earthlings, no primitive technology that destroys our mother Earth etc.

    Bashar taught me to change my self and so everything else around me will change according to the frequency I vibrate on. I believed him and still do.
    Bashar also always talk about:"Follow your excitement, because the feeling that you call excitement is the physical vibration of your higher, natural, core, true self"

    For all my life, things that others said I categorized as "someone said", till I would experience this theme and prove it true for my life also.
    The same I did with Bashar suggestion, I was excited to find people like me, trusting that my higher self will support me as long as I follow my excitement I went to trip in Europe again.

    I did found lots of people that do want the world to change at the same direction that I do, but still I couldn't find anyone who thinks the way I do or at least believes in half of the beliefs I have. At some point in my trip I got synchronistically to a Rainbow festival in Portugal, I met there two spiritual healers that I had interaction with, one of them was a Reiki Master practicing all over the world for more than 20 years, I really could see and sense strong energy from him and for that reason he was interesting for me to interact with, he offered me a session, 5 min into he stopped and said he will channel for me my higher self, so he told me I don't have 7 chakras, but one unified heart chakra, I was so confused, because all my practice for Breatharianism was to activate the whole 7 chakras. His explanation to this phenomena was that Im a Bodhisattva, that my last life on earth I ascended to higher dimensions(the 7), and this is the reason for me feeling not at home for the last years and why most of the things here expect the nature seems very primitive for me, moreover at the moment I had some crystal I was charging for a friend and using for myself, so he declared that there is nothing on this planet that can help me to raise or balance my energy because its to high already. So I asked to go back home if so the story, but his response was that I can't because I came back with purpose to help humanity to raise their consciousness for the 5th dimension, and I will leave when Im done.

    Well, after the storm I accepted it just as something that someone said and nothing to do with my reality. Some days after I was introduced to a healer, from my understanding she perceive the energy and form a balanced, perfect state of this energy that she translate into vibration in a form of voice, singing.
    The Reiki master told her about me and she wanted to help also, so we sat for a session. As she started to sing, she was raising the tone quite fast till she started to cough, for me it was a shock but even more for her, after she settled down she shared with me that its the first time in her career(30 years) that she can't take the note or to cough, when I asked for the reason she explained that I resonate strong Atlantis energy that she cant reach because of being human.
    It got me only more confused.

    After some more interactions with random people who said approximately the same things but in different words I decided to relax and not to think about all of it, so I placed my self in on the beach of Portugal for few months, and even there I met someone who asked me to read the book called Our Universal Journey by George Kavassilas, I did, and the same as with Bashar, I was occupied by strong emotions and the feeling that I was waiting for this book since the beginning of the trip.
    Now not sure about the intentions and the teachings of Bashar, not sure about all my energetic and spiritual practice so far, I find my self without any passion for nothing, I have dreams, but even dreaming about it do not excites me.

    I know I should follow my heart by trusting what I'm going trough, but I really feel like getting some direction, at least how can I open my heart to answer my own questions, so far I used just to go into meditation and find the answers I need, now I don't have the patient to meditate for 15 min, even tough I used to meditate for 5-10 hours non-stop, because I think that my focus goes somewhere else (The Gods).
    I can rationalize some actions that I "need" to do in order to have some results, but the moment I begin doing it without any excitement it feels so wrong and Im getting headaches or ill..

    This is for now, because Im getting headache again(I used to have them like once in a 3-4 months, but its getting more for the last months and for this time Im confused..)

    Much love for you all, and thank you for the opportunity to share with you.

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    United States Avalon Member ceetee9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Hi ATok. I certainly can empathize with your loss of passion for anything as I seem to have lost mine as well. I can't speak to all the spiritual guides you've run into as I have never talked with any--that I'm aware of at least--so I can't offer any opinions there one way or another.

    However, I do want to commend you and thank you for following your heart by not joining the military at age 18. That is a very difficult thing to do in this world because we are so conditioned to think that it is the right and honorable thing to do and anyone who refuses to do so is a pacifist outcast to be shunned. It takes far more courage and depth of character to travel that road than it does to travel the road of the brainwashed masses.

    Try not to get too down--especially from not getting answers to your questions. I believe we are all here for some purpose and there is a reason for everything even if we can't fathom it. It's hard to maintain that belief in this insane world, but until we start getting answers to our questions (however they may come) I think it's about the only thing we can do. But that's just one man's opinion. Take it for what it's worth.
    There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    It's not always going to be exciting, that's just the way it is. Don't push, let It come to you. Sometimes it takes a lot of mundane prep work to lay the proper foundation for what's next, use that prep time wisely, you'll be glad you did.

    Cheers,

    Fred

    P.S. Welcome to Avalon ATok!

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    United States Avalon Member gripreaper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    As a Bodhisattva, if you allowed your golden energy, just above your crown, to descend into your being, you would explode and float away. Your energy is too strong and will not download. Your impulse is too strong to not attach to the earth. It's very important to ground to the earth and do things which are grounding.

    Walk barefoot in the sand, hike in the mountains, plant a garden and be in intimate relationship with another. These will help. Allow the Kundalini to move slowly up the djed and your passion will expand and emanate as you stay grounded.
    Last edited by gripreaper; 7th September 2013 at 19:48.
    "Lay Down Your Truth and Check Your Weapons
    The Next Voice You Hear Will Be Your OWN"
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    Israel Avalon Member ATok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    yaman, thanks <3

    Till this moment of joining the army I can't really say I was an anarchist or purple sheep, but when the moment arrived its like I had guidance from within on what is right, and since then I learnt to listen and feel it more. I believe it is a very important skill to develop because deep under all these layers created by parents, friends, media, society etc. our true self is radiating endless love for us to be fed of, all we need is to feel what is right, and not to try to analyze and rationalize it for outcomes.

    I don't think I will get to low at any point, I can't see the benefit for myself in being depressed, but Im confused to some degree.
    I can ignore it most of the day, but once in a while its gets me, the idea that I actually ain't doing a thing knowing that I am capable of so much, serving others for the good of all.

    Im also here to share because I know Im not the only one out there with similar issues, it was important for me to find those people who are more positive than those I met till then. I believe we chose to be humans to live in a society so we can learn, support and growth together.

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    ATok,

    You are in the precise space......passion or not.......you will continue to grow and expand .....thank you for being on this planet at this time.
    Last edited by GloriousPoetry; 7th September 2013 at 19:57.
    Sublimating that push in life that gives you the rhythmic experience of living despite it all.........

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    Israel Avalon Member ATok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Quote Posted by gripreaper (here)
    As a Bodhisattva, if you allowed your golden energy, just above your crown, to descend into your being, you would explode and float away. Your energy is too strong and will not download. Your impulse is too strong to not attach to the earth.
    Please elaborate on it more, the Reiki Master gave me specific mediation saying is unique for me. Imaging an energy coming from above trough the crown to the heart chakra, expanding inside my body so much so it explodes from me to everyone and everywhere around. I was doing it for some period of time and I really felt things that I didn't before, like the Thymus Gland was kind of hurting after I would meditate this way, I also could cure my self from diarrhea after meditating that way for one hour.
    But I stopped this practice after reading the book of George, realizing I have no idea what energy Im transmuting trough me.
    At the moment he gave me this technique I asked him about it he said because of who I am, all I need to do is to be around people and meditate whenever I feel by this technique, so my heart chakra operates like a devise for transforming high level energy to the energy around me that need to be raised.
    But again I just stopped not thinking to much about it because of the book and my skeptical point about it afterwards, but I feel like trying to practice it again while writing it and reflecting back to my self. Thank you so much )

    Quote Posted by gripreaper (here)
    Walk barefoot in the sand, hike in the mountains, plant a garden and be in intimate relationship with another. These will help. Allow the Kundalini to move slowly up the djed and your passion will expand and emanate as you stay grounded.
    I believe its more than a half year now that Im walking barefoot most of the time, even in cities. I believe I'm doing very grounding actions the same as living and being a lot in nature, although I was too chooser when it came to a relationship, because again its kind of hard to be with someone who is to much different than you are, but I believe its changing at the moment.
    Again this kundalini, Im not sure anymore.. I really feel like George have a point there that triggers strong feelings with it.
    Last edited by ATok; 7th September 2013 at 20:19. Reason: adding

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Hi ATok,

    As iON says just relax and allow. You might enjoy listening to this talk.

    http://halkinnaman.com/ed/audio_rr/i...c_physical.mp3

    If you enjoy that then this website has many more interesting talks with iON.

    http://informationfarm.brlogspot.co.uk/p/ion.html

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    Scotland Moderator Billy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Welcome to Avalon Atok.

    gripreaper said what i would say. Listen my friend. For someone so young to have gained so much insight. Well done

    You feel a "little" out off balance and frustrated maybe even bored that your hearts passion is not yet being realized after putting so much effort into assisting mother earth and humanity. Many of us here understand how you feel. Please be patient and all your efforts will be manifested. You will make that difference that you see in your hearts desire.

    Sometimes it is better not to try so hard and just be in the moment. Walking barefoot in the city on concrete and sidewalks does not have the same effect as walking on dirt and grass. I know you do this also. Dig into your Mother and Plant stuff. Like Grip said be more grounded. Allowing time for your spirit to adjust with your physical being. This is the most difficult part of any ones mission on earth.

    Keep going, Be at peace.





    Quote Posted by gripreaper (here)
    As a Bodhisattva, if you allowed your golden energy, just above your crown, to descend into your being, you would explode and float away. Your energy is too strong and will not download. Your impulse is too strong to not attach to the earth. It's very important to ground to the earth and do things which are grounding.

    Walk barefoot in the sand, hike in the mountains, plant a garden and be in intimate relationship with another. These will help. Allow the Kundalini to move slowly up the djed and your passion will expand and emanate as you stay grounded.
    When you express from a fearful heart in the now moment, You create a fearful future.
    When you express from a loving heart in the now moment, You create a loving future.

    Have no fear, Be aware and live your lives journey from a compassionate caring nurturing heart to manifest a compassionate caring nurturing future. Billyji


    Peace

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Hi Atok, and welcome to Avalon. I'm sure you will enjoy your time here. We are a diverse group with a common love for truth, and in this world that's hard to come by - both the the group and the truth.

    I feel you have come here for a reason. You will find what you are looking for here. We need you, you need us.

    Thanks for arriving, we've been waiting for you.

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Love you ATok

    You seem to have grown so fast and yet remember you in this Life are still only 22 years on this Earth, in years your still a Kid remember that,
    don't lose that part of wonderment.
    You desire so much for others and this Earth but remember to Love your self for a while.
    You have Flown so fast that you have come up onto your own Barren Wilderness, colours here are dim, sounds and songs so dull, the summer is cold and the air is tired and used! But while your in your Wilderness take time to experience it, it's what makes us Humans such Dreamers, it drives imagination and our creativity.
    The wilderness is the contrast to the Wonderment, take time to just sit on the Earth and play! Take time to have a Cry from your Heart for yourself! Remember Wonderment is in all and everything when you are being Love so be Love again.

    Hope you stay around here ATok and start to whip up some of your soon to be found new wonderment and shair it with us

    Love and Light, Remember that!
    I'm a simple easy going guy that is very upset/sad with the worlds hidden controllers!
    We need LEADERS who bat from the HEART!
    Rise up above them Dark evil doers, not within anger but with LOVE

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Sounds like you have a great life to me

    Thats life, some times you're up some times your down, thats the ride.

    Enjoy this Chilli Peppers song



    and as you say, stay young for ever.
    Last edited by Dorjezigzag; 8th September 2013 at 00:59.
    For orpheus’s lute was strung with poets sinews- Shakespeare, two gentlemen of Verona

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    ATok...
    Only you can channel your higher self. Don't give away your power to the words (ideas) of others. Listen, but with discernment.
    The best person to hear is yourself. Yes it can be confusing, bewildering and maybe lonely/painful but it will be your voice.
    Allow yourself all the emotions, even the dark ones. Let no place remain hidden to you. Explore it all fearlessly and with joy.
    Your passion is always there. Quietly waiting with you as you continue on. You are unique.
    evil contains the seeds of its own destruction—unslaved
    http://www.michaeltsarion.com/

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Hello my friend. Well you have heard many good suggestions here already. We are two of a kind in a sense as I relate to much of what you are going through, have gone through, and the qualities of your nature. What does it mean to be a Bodhisatva? One who sits under the Bodhi tree or something like that? Aren't we all Bodhisatvas in a sense? Aren't we all looking for answers to the deepest questions. I know, the difference is that bodhisatvas do it consciously while the rest are doing it unconsciously(and usually a lot slower). Don't take what is told to you by psychics, healers, reiki masters, and so on, too seriously. Yes file it away in your mind and carry on as simply as possible. Living simply and simply living are helpful states of being. But where is the passion? I don't know. Swamis in Sadaten Dharm talk about living dispassionately, so from their standpoint there must be some good in it. There are many paradoxes aren't there? On one hand you're told to overcome desire and passion on one hand, and to be completely devoted to G-d on the other. Doesn't that imply a passion for G-d or G-dliness? It gets very confusing and that's just one of many, many examples. I am told that as long as we have some attachment to our egos we have not 'made it.' The fully liberated gurus or masters that have burned away their remaining remnants of ego. So until then, as long as we are in Maya or duhka(forgive my spelling) there will be a sense of unsatisfactoriness and restlessness. This is what Sidharta wrestled with and conquered. We are asking the same questions now that he did many hundreds of years ago. I get the sense that passion comes and goes. It's ephemeral, as are all the emotions and thoughts we have as human beings. So nothing that is temporary is all that important and we should not be overly concerned in their coming or going. There is only one for sure absolute truth(there may be a few others), WE EXIST. Thatis to say, the REAL YOU exists. Consciousness itself. I don't know if any of this helps. I may be just blabbing away here and saying nothing really. Is there anything you'd like elaboration on?
    If we want to be enlightened, we need to lighten up :)

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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Quote Posted by Fred Steeves (here)
    It's not always going to be exciting, that's just the way it is. Don't push, let It come to you. Sometimes it takes a lot of mundane prep work to lay the proper foundation for what's next, use that prep time wisely, you'll be glad you did.

    Cheers,

    Fred

    P.S. Welcome to Avalon ATok!
    Yo Freed as usual I am in agreement with you.

    Atok, Been there done that, I started to lose passion at age 19. This explains why I acquired so many skills, gone to many kinds of religions hop from place to place, job to job.

    Patience is the key. Do something even if it feels to you as if not worth your time. You'll be surprise that it's worth it provided you find joy in doing so. During my time I felt as if I have acquired so much skills to bother myself with cleaning the house and doing all the house chores it turns out that it is what I needed to do.

    "It's not always going to be exciting"

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    United States Avalon Member ghostrider's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    you won't understand passion or focus until you experience mundane ...just like you must feel cold to understand hot ... understand death to celebrate life ...everything has a season, and a time , to get to the mountain top , the trail goes down in the valley ... it's how you handle it that matters , it's not what happens to you ...it's how you RE-ACT to what happens to you ...
    Raiding the Matrix One Mind at a Time ...

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    Virgin Islands Avalon Member Selene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    ATok, my young friend ~

    Relax. You are perfectly fine, and doing well.

    All consciousness and spiritual development comes in waves. Some are deep and long over years, some can take you on a wild ride of discovery for a few weeks or months, but all types must spend equal or longer periods *back here* in a period of consolidation, apparent dormancy or deep reprogramming from those experiences. These may seem like “nothing is happening” “I’ve lost the magic” periods, but they are not. They may be boring, but they are working - no less efficiently - at much deeper levels of your being to consolidate and reprogram the effects of those zowie experiences and feelings.

    This is perfectly normal, the way Mother Nature intended, and part of all spiritual life and growth no matter what path you are on. You will come out of this time better and stronger and continue forward no matter what you may now expect.

    This time, if I may say so, is where some form of spiritual habit or discipline comes into play: the deliberate regular daily practice of whatever forms of personal growth you have chosen - your meditation, your exercise, your reading, your prayer, your time alone. No matter what it feels like, do it anyway. Every day. However you define your own path to your higher self, doesn’t matter. Wet or dry, just keep doing it. Just persist as you traverse this desert. Eventually you will come again to another oasis of discovery. There is no other way forward.

    Thank you so much for asking this sincere question and you are most happily welcome here. I hope than many others will be encouraged by your interest and enthusiasm.

    All my best wishes,

    Selene

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    United States Avalon Member LivioRazlo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    I feel that somehow I was drawn to this post because of some similar situations and feelings in my current life. At this point in time, I feel like I'm torn mentally, physically and spiritually between so many things, and I suppose that's because here in America, you are constantly being bombarded in all aspects of your life. This is what it seems to me anyways. I've lost the passion, as well as the inspiration, for continuing any form of creativity in my life. I feel that if I'm not immediately satisfied with things in the short term, I give up for the long run. This is something I need to change immediately for I fear that it could ultimately be my downfall. I have much respect for someone as yourself to come along so far and to have learned so much. It is my wish that being a part of this website can teach or lead me in the direction my life needs to be so that I may achieve what you call "Nirvana". Keep your head up ATok and know that there are many people here who most certainly wish to help.
    Last edited by LivioRazlo; 8th September 2013 at 02:13.

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    United States Avalon Member rgray222's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    Hi A Tok
    More than twenty years ago we bought a farm with quite a bit of land. Beautiful forest, ponds and meadows, everything was ideal. We were determined to build our house in the woods. We had decided to do everything ourselves, from foundation to framing and everything in between. I had no real experience as a carpenter but for some odd reason I felt it was something that I was destined to do. We started on the build and to say it was a lot of work is an understatement.

    Just about the same time we started construction we had a hurricane (cat 3) move over the property. It left the land in a complete state of disaster, hundreds of trees were down, things were a mess. I was stressed to the max and wondered what I had gotten us into and wondered if we could ever recover. I was attempting to learn how to use backhoes, bobcats, chainsaws and any number of tools that I was unfamiliar with.

    An elderly neighbor came by one day and simply said to me, let the tools do the work for you, he picked up a chainsaw and maneuvered through a large tree in a matter of minutes. It took just a few minutes to understand what he was talking about. I was trying to force things to work instead of just letting them do the work.

    At different times he seemed to magically appear when I needed guidance the most. He would give me a 15 minute lesson on how to use a bobcat, backhoe, table-saw, skill saw etc. Each time it was like an epiphany, it was as if the light bulb went off on how much easier life could be if you understood the basics.

    These lessons spilled over to life itself, the universe has given us the tools to accomplish what we need to in life, just find the tool and understand how it works. Don't ever try to force things, let them come naturally, let the tools do the work for you. Don't be afraid to accept guidance from a wiser soul.

    It sounds like you have lost your passion and are a bit frustrated, my suggestion to you is go back and examine what has caused this and make the necessary changes to your life. Meditation is nothing more than a tool, use it wisely and use it well, don't try to force yourself through the process, let it come to you naturally. Move on and master the next tool.

    Love, emotion, diet, thought and even anger (to name just a few) are all tools which you want to learn how to master and put into some sort of balance with your life.

    Good luck

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    Canada Avalon Member Youniverse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost my Passion

    I also thank you Atok for starting this thread and sharing some of your experiences. Some of the responses have also helped me, just now, in dealing with an issue I have. So you see, just by reaching out you are also helping others in their journey. I must admit I have trouble with the mundane elements of life from time to time. It is easy to get lost in it and get in a rut. One question you might ask yourself from time to time(besides "who am I?") is "What is the alternative to the spiritual path that I'm on?" I think you will find, as I have, that there is no alternative but to stay on that path. What are we gonna do, go back to being in the dark? Go back asleep? I know for myself, the mere contemplation of the mystery, wonder, and power of consciousness itself is enough to bring the spark back to life.
    If we want to be enlightened, we need to lighten up :)

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