The male abuse of women

[Billy]

Hi everyone. This is a topic that very much should be out in the open a not brushed under the carpet and hidden as most cases of abuse are.
I know from experience as many have expressed here already, That it is not only males abusing females.

My personal experience was the same as Jagman's. Physical and emotional abuse for many years from my spouse. Attacked when asleep. Knives at my throat.
endless objects thrown and smashed over my head. The day of enough is enough came in 1998 when i arrived home and my wife walked over to me smiling. I thought oh a cuddle. She laid her hands on my head and drew her nails down each side of my face. deeply, bleeding i asked why did you do that. I don't know she replied. Well this is the last time. I picked up my sleeping bag and left. never to be reunited.

It took a few years later for us to become the great friends that we are now.

Bill mentioned earlier that females were not responsible for the death of Jesus. But who ordered the head of John the Baptist on a plate?

As far as females not being responsible for allowing a child to be sexually abused please read this book written by Donna, a very good friend of mine. I was a catalyst in part for her healing of trauma when we were in India together. Her horrific experience is not good reading but writing this book also assisted her healing process.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...The_Step_Child

My take on this topic is yes abuse happens on both sides. But the question is not that it happens but why does it happen.

Any form of abuse is a sign of great insecurity within the abuser, a form of control over another or others, It does not really matter if this is within a relationship, family. A dictatorship or a religion. It is years of issues and baggage that has never been dealt with and healed. The fear of going within and facing the demons that have been allowed to control self or an organization. Projecting outward towards others their issues, instead of taking responsibility for ones own actions and seeking help.

The first step towards healing is NOT living in denial. For an abuser to say to themselves, Whether male or female, I AM AN ABUSER and i need help. Only then is there hope for any abuser.

Peace

[minkton]

Having said, when considering the male abuse of women : ' some women are infected by the toxic mentality of abuse'. What do we say next?

We know women mimic men,it is often the only way we know to feel anything but invisible and disempowered, we know of stockholm syndrome, we know abuse is often perpetrated across generations, gender notwithstanding.

Once we have established infection spreads, that the feminine can swallow toxicity to such a degree that decay shows... what do we say next?

I guess "I'm sorry" might be the start of something. Maybe we all need to apologise in the most heartfelt way, to one another. And for one another.

[CdnSirian]

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HkFhPONcNYg

Teal Scott, receiver of ritual abuse through childhood - an amazing take on forgiveness and the process she has gone through. Just under an hour.

Her life now is devoted to huge changes on the planet.

The breaking of the cycle, mimicking, or infection.

Should add I have read this whole thread while not logged in mostly - thanks all above!

[araucaria]

As we try to bring this patriarchal age to an end and see what we can put in its place, it is perhaps worth reminding ourselves of some aspects of the matriarchy that it replaced. For the poet Robert Graves, the Greek myths tell the story of this paradigm change, and here is his description of where the men came from, at a time when their role in procreation was still not fully understood – only about four thousand years ago. Much of this may sound familiar.

Once the relevance of coition to child-bearing had been officially admitted (…) man’s religious status gradually improved, and winds or rivers were no longer given credit for impregnating women. The tribal nymph, it seems, chose an annual lover from her entourage of young men, a king to be sacrificed when the year ended, making him a symbol of fertility, rather than the object of her erotic pleasure. His sprinkled blood served to fructify trees, crops and flocks, and his flesh was torn and eaten raw by the queen’s fellow nymphs – priestesses wearing the masks of bitches, mares, or sows. Next, in amendment to this practice, the king died as soon as the power of the sun, with which he was identified, began to decline in the summer, and another young man, his twin, or supposed twin – a convenient ancient Irish term is ‘tanist’ – then became the queen’s lover, to be duly sacrificed at midwinter and, as a reward, reincarnated in an oracular serpent. These consorts acquired executive powers only when permitted to deputise for the queen by wearing her magical robes. Thus kingship developed, and though the sun became a symbol of male fertility once the king’s life had been identified with its seasonal course, it still remained under the queen’s tutelage, in theory at least, long after the matriarchal phase had been outgrown.

(…) There is, however, no evidence that, even when women were sovereign in religious matters, men were denied fields in which they might act without female supervision, though it may well be that they adopted many of the ‘weaker sex’ characteristics hitherto thought functionally peculiar to man. They could be trusted to hunt, fish, gather certain foods, mind flocks and herds, and help defend the tribal territory against intruders, so long as they did not transgress matriarchal law.

(…) When the shortness of the king’s reign proved irksome, it was agreed to prolong the thirteen-month year to a Great Year of 100 lunations, in the last of which occurs a near-coincidence of solar and lunar time. But since the fields and crops still needed to be fructified, the king agreed to suffer an annual mock death and yield his sovereignty for one day – the intercalated one, lying outside the sacred sidereal year – to the surrogate boy-king, or interrex, who died at its close, and whose blood was used for the sprinkling ceremony. Now the sacred king either reigned for the entire period of a Great Year, with a tanist as his lieutenant; or the two reigned for alternate years; or the queen let them divide the queendom into halves and reign concurrently. The king deputised for the queen at many sacred functions, dressed in her robes, wore false breast, borrowed her lunar axe as a symbol of power, and even took over from her the magical art of rain-making. His ritual death varied greatly in circumstance; he might be torn in pieces by wild women, transfixed with a sting-ray spear, felled with an axe, pricked in the heel with a poisoned arrow, flung over a cliff, burned to death on a pyre, drowned in a pool, or killed in a pre-arranged chariot crash. But die he must. A new stage was reached when animals came to be substituted for boys at the sacrificial altar, and the king refused death after his lengthened reign ended. Dividing the realm into three parts, and awarding one part to each of his successors, he would reign for another term; his excuse being that a closer approximation of solar and lunar time had now been found, namely nineteen years, or 325 lunations. The Great Year had become a Greater Year.

[transiten]

Thankyou CdnSirian

This woman is speaking the truth, it's the best analysis i've ever heard on the issue of abuse, victim consciousness and forgivness and i'm speaking from personal experience. Although i've been tampering on a very deep level with what i've been through listening to Tela suddenly "flipped something around" taking it to another level!

When it comes to the talk about focusing, conscious creation and money there's a small red flag coming up though...probably wouldn't work very well in a refugee camp for Syrians in Turkey...and Rumi would probably not conscent to the idea about suffering not being necessary only being an effect of resistance.

And the interviewers comment about viewing homelessness as "total freedom and opportunity to do what you want"....give me a break...

(CdnSirian, a medium once said to me Sirius B is the star i go back to between lives, i don't have a clue though )

[avid]

Posted by araucaria (here)
As we try to bring this patriarchal age to an end and see what we can put in its place, it is perhaps worth reminding ourselves of some aspects of the matriarchy that it replaced. For the poet Robert Graves, the Greek myths tell the story of this paradigm change, and here is his description of where the men came from, at a time when their role in procreation was still not fully understood – only about four thousand years ago. Much of this may sound familiar.

Once the relevance of coition to child-bearing had been officially admitted (…) man’s religious status gradually improved, and winds or rivers were no longer given credit for impregnating women. The tribal nymph, it seems, chose an annual lover from her entourage of young men, a king to be sacrificed when the year ended, making him a symbol of fertility, rather than the object of her erotic pleasure. His sprinkled blood served to fructify trees, crops and flocks, and his flesh was torn and eaten raw by the queen’s fellow nymphs – priestesses wearing the masks of bitches, mares, or sows. Next, in amendment to this practice, the king died as soon as the power of the sun, with which he was identified, began to decline in the summer, and another young man, his twin, or supposed twin – a convenient ancient Irish term is ‘tanist’ – then became the queen’s lover, to be duly sacrificed at midwinter and, as a reward, reincarnated in an oracular serpent. These consorts acquired executive powers only when permitted to deputise for the queen by wearing her magical robes. Thus kingship developed, and though the sun became a symbol of male fertility once the king’s life had been identified with its seasonal course, it still remained under the queen’s tutelage, in theory at least, long after the matriarchal phase had been outgrown.

(…) There is, however, no evidence that, even when women were sovereign in religious matters, men were denied fields in which they might act without female supervision, though it may well be that they adopted many of the ‘weaker sex’ characteristics hitherto thought functionally peculiar to man. They could be trusted to hunt, fish, gather certain foods, mind flocks and herds, and help defend the tribal territory against intruders, so long as they did not transgress matriarchal law.

(…) When the shortness of the king’s reign proved irksome, it was agreed to prolong the thirteen-month year to a Great Year of 100 lunations, in the last of which occurs a near-coincidence of solar and lunar time. But since the fields and crops still needed to be fructified, the king agreed to suffer an annual mock death and yield his sovereignty for one day – the intercalated one, lying outside the sacred sidereal year – to the surrogate boy-king, or interrex, who died at its close, and whose blood was used for the sprinkling ceremony. Now the sacred king either reigned for the entire period of a Great Year, with a tanist as his lieutenant; or the two reigned for alternate years; or the queen let them divide the queendom into halves and reign concurrently. The king deputised for the queen at many sacred functions, dressed in her robes, wore false breast, borrowed her lunar axe as a symbol of power, and even took over from her the magical art of rain-making. His ritual death varied greatly in circumstance; he might be torn in pieces by wild women, transfixed with a sting-ray spear, felled with an axe, pricked in the heel with a poisoned arrow, flung over a cliff, burned to death on a pyre, drowned in a pool, or killed in a pre-arranged chariot crash. But die he must. A new stage was reached when animals came to be substituted for boys at the sacrificial altar, and the king refused death after his lengthened reign ended. Dividing the realm into three parts, and awarding one part to each of his successors, he would reign for another term; his excuse being that a closer approximation of solar and lunar time had now been found, namely nineteen years, or 325 lunations. The Great Year had become a Greater Year.

Links please - thank you :-)

[transiten]

Thankyou araucaria, was actually going to post about early matriarchal societies and the sacrifice of the King, interesting perspective to say the least...

[CD7]

(…) There is, however, no evidence that, even when women were sovereign in religious matters, men were denied fields in which they might act without female supervision, though it may well be that they adopted many of the ‘weaker sex’ characteristics hitherto thought functionally peculiar to man. They could be trusted to hunt, fish, gather certain foods, mind flocks and herds, and help defend the tribal territory against intruders, so long as they did not transgress matriarchal law.

(…) When the shortness of the king’s reign proved irksome, it was agreed to prolong the thirteen-month year to a Great Year of 100 lunations, in the last of which occurs a near-coincidence of solar and lunar time. But since the fields and crops still needed to be fructified, the king agreed to suffer an annual mock death and yield his sovereignty for one day – the intercalated one, lying outside the sacred sidereal year – to the surrogate boy-king, or interrex, who died at its close, and whose blood was used for the sprinkling ceremony. Now the sacred king either reigned for the entire period of a Great Year, with a tanist as his lieutenant; or the two reigned for alternate years; or the queen let them divide the queendom into halves and reign concurrently. The king deputised for the queen at many sacred functions, dressed in her robes, wore false breast, borrowed her lunar axe as a symbol of power, and even took over from her the magical art of rain-making. His ritual death varied greatly in circumstance; he might be torn in pieces by wild women, transfixed with a sting-ray spear, felled with an axe, pricked in the heel with a poisoned arrow, flung over a cliff, burned to death on a pyre, drowned in a pool, or killed in a pre-arranged chariot crash. But die he must. A new stage was reached when animals came to be substituted for boys at the sacrificial altar, and the king refused death after his lengthened reign ended. Dividing the realm into three parts, and awarding one part to each of his successors, he would reign for another term; his excuse being that a closer approximation of solar and lunar time had now been found, namely nineteen years, or 325 lunations. The Great Year had become a Greater Year.

Well actually no, none of this sounds familiar. I have never quite heard this version of gender roles flipped so much, lol

Just makes me think having the pendulum swing too far in any direction sounds dreadful!! Would love to see no expected roles from either side---NAKED no clothes! Makes me ponder the garden of eden and if this type of "nakedness" is related to the story in some way. Once the clothes went on did that then provide costumes for everyone to play a role?! Humm

[araucaria]

Posted by avid (here)
Links please - thank you :-)

Robert Graves, The Greek Myths, Author's Introduction
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...0greek%20myths

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

Posted by grannyfranny100 (here)
It was been tough transition for men. I was on the first edge of woman's lib and didn't "settle" for marriage to get out of my parents' house. Sure it was tough "fighting" the workplace system but worth it. I was not interested in being a house slave controlled by male dominance. Eventually I did marry but I thought everyday males were losers. They had lost any male enhancing tribal rituals generations ago, required unbelievable amounts of stroking and were just resting on their automatically assumed superiority.

Everything was changing. Men could no longer provide a one income family life that was the essence of their presumed superiority in our society. How could they assume they could rule "their" household when they couldn't even provide the money. Suddenly women could earn a living and didn't have to stay married to a lousy provider. If she was abused so the male could feel superior, she could dump him and the divorce rate skyrocketed. With advances in birth control, women could indulge in recreational sex the way men had been doing for years if they wanted to: love them and leave them. Over the next few generations, men were reduced to being sperm donors. That is a lot for men to absorb about their changing role and I think the adjustment has been harder for men as women changed.

Unfortunately, women adopted male tactics to get ahead in the male dominate business world rather than adding a female view to the decision-making process. Women learned to play hard ball and made sure they had better credentials than their male competitors. If women were competing for a job requiring a bachelor's degree, they made sure they had an MBA. Meanwhile men were bonding around the water cooler oblivious to what was happening. The best they could come up with was "she slept her way to the top or mid management."

Women with their newly minted MBAs quickly figured out that the GDP did not include child rearing activities so they heartlessly dumped kids at childcare facilities in pursuit of greed, power and equality with male superiority. The behavior, manners and values of the next generations shows the sad outcome of children raised by TV and cheap childcare. And women gave up their social service activities that men depended on to counterbalance corporate America's lack of concern about poverty, the environment, etc.

Although the myth of romantic love still exists with the young, neither men or women evaluate a relationship's capacity to nurture each other's higher ambitions. They don't think beyond their sexual organs and reproducing because it will be the most creative thing they will ever do.

I liked what my college roommate did. She and her husband both worked and had a plan. They lived on one income and banked the other for a house down payment. When they were ready, they bought a house and had a baby. Since they were use to living on one income, she could stay home, make her own organic baby food and raise their child with the values they had. She returned to her M.A. career later and is well known in her field despite the baby break. Of course they didn't have every new adult toy as soon as it was marketed. They knew how to delay gratification rather than buy into debt to satisfy their immediate needs. And of course they didn't go, Oh, woe is me" and seek every government "entitlement" meant to entrap people.

I think both sexes have a long way to go so they can establish a relationship that enhances both of their long term goals and not just their reproduction gratification. As it is now the parents have to hand off the child for visitation rights at local police stations because they can't be civil to each other for the sake of the child.

Men and women need to cooperate to get us over the hump of male dominated religions, wars and gross government budgets for the military industrial interests and once again value the family.

That was a really good post -- I know I didn't agree in my thread about personal problems, but you make a lot of sense here.
One of the things modern parents are dealing with, though, is inflation and the whole plethora of developmental trouble that's presenting in the kids.

Imagine coming to the realization that one is immoral, but also trying to teach a child that seems for all appearances ineducable.

It's so hard to break through to a child with ASD -- can you imagine the wishy washy average parents in USA trying to deal with the iron will of a troubled child who also has developmental delays?

it's hard to know how much the parents can change, and how much the society needs to make up for the deficit...

we are in a tough spot in the USA and it goes way beyond the gender wars... there are kids suffering even when the parents thought everything was oK

[dianna]

I agree with SamWise:

I also believe that men's and women's brains have been intentionally hampered with by Reptilians to purposely pit us against one another for thousands of years. To me it never made sense why so many hearts have been broken over egotistical and lame reasons by both men and women. Seems fishy to me.

Not sure if it is "reptilians" that have deliberately hampered with humanity -- but it seems some sort of program was introduced to divide the genders and snuff out the sacred feminine -- and this program went viral with the introduction of abrahamic religions --




When God Was A Woman -- We Owe Much Of Our Civilization To Female- Led Societies

Archaeological excavations have uncovered sculptures indicating widespread Goddess worship as long ago as 25,000 B.C. In what we call the cradle of civilization, the Goddess was worshipped as creator of the universe and all life.

In major cultures such as Sumer, Babylon and Canaan, women had sex with men of their own choosing. Since sex was associated with the worship of the Goddess, there was no split between pleasure, spirituality, motherhood and respect for women.

The earliest records show that women were held in high esteem. Property passed from mother to daughter, so it didn't matter who fathered the children.

Diodorus Siculus wrote in 49 B.C. that in Libya, the men stayed home and took care of the children while the women handled all public business. He also recorded an Egyptian law that said ``the wife shall enjoy authority over the husband, husbands agreeing in the marriage contract that they will be obedient in all things to their wives.''

Helen Belvin (letters, Dec. 2) disapproved of alternative family structures, saying, ``robbed of sexual standards, society will unravel like a ball of yarn.'' Since she mentioned a time span of 2,000 years, I assume she refers to the male-led Judeo-Christian family unit.

Far from ``unraveling like a ball of yarn,'' these cultures were the basis for our own civilization. They developed agriculture, architecture, engineering, astronomy, writing, ceramics, painting, domestication of animals, commerce, etc.

Most impressive, the earlier Goddess-worshipping cultures sustained themselves for long periods without war. At a site in Turkey, archaeologists went down 1,500 years without finding weapons or any evidence of conflict.

Civilization really began to ``unravel'' when the Indo-Europeans began their southward invasions around 2400 B.C. They brought with them their male tribal gods, their system of patrilineal descent and, most important, their philosophy of dominance.

They slaughtered, looted and raped their way through much of the Mediterranean region (you can read about some of this in the Book of Joshua), and we live with the results of these invasions today. The beatings, rapes and murders of thousands of women in the U.S. every year are attributable to the philosophy of patriarchal dominance and the Judeo-Christian idea of the ``true'' family.

Anyone who is interested in this subject should read ``When God Was A Woman'' by Merlin Stone, and ``The Chalice and the Blade'' and ``The Partnership Way'' by Riane Eisler.

Article here:
http://community.seattletimes.nwsour...4&slug=1111207



Read Merlin Stone's Book here:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/147907317/...n-Merlin-Stone

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)

Posted by Nanoo Nanoo (here)

Bill Ryan : Yes (as Tesla said also), some women can be pretty mean. But (as a rule!) --
•they don't start wars;
•they don't sadistically torture;
•they don't sexually abuse children;
•they have not ridden or sailed (or flown!) out in hordes to conquer other cultures;
•they don't slaughter animals for the sake of being macho.
Of course, there will always be exceptions (see my response to Snookie below). As a rule, though, women aren't a fraction as destructive and violent. Being mean, nasty and scheming is different. All humans are susceptible to that.

Bill, is this honestly your opinion ?

Yes -- with the caveat (as I said) "as a rule". For non-English-speakers, that means "usually".

Also to Tesla: I know one can always find women who are cruel, mean, scheming, sociopathic and violent. (Jagman's story -- wow.) And I have met and am privileged to know some most remarkably wonderful, gentle, kind and wise men.

I'm talking about the shape of the world and the trajectory of its history.

As best I know:

• No women were among those who crucified Christ.
• No women took part in the burning of the Cathars in the Albigensian Crusades.
• No women were among those who betrayed Atahualpa and destroyed the Inca civilization.
• No women were among the Aztec priests who cut out the hearts of live virgins.
• No women took part in the Massacre at Wounded Knee.
• No women condemned millions of people to death in Stalin's Gulags.
• No women gassed, shot, raped, starved or tortured millions of Jews in the Nazi death camps.
• Few women work in the factory ships that wantonly kill huge whales despite their being seriously endangered.
• Few women take part in the annual culling of dolphins and seals in Norway and Canada.
• Few women are the CEOs of major corporations that are trashing the planet and its resources.
• Few women took part in the macho wholesale big game hunting massacre of the African wildlife in the 19th century.
• No women are among the elite controllers of the world. (Hilary Clinton is an underling.)
• Anyone reading this could generate hundreds more examples.

Now now, Bill! LOL.

I have an example, yes some will say the exception to the rule or whatnot, but here it is:

When General Terrance Hildner passed away allegedly in his sleep last year or the year prior, I looked him up.
I saw that he had presided over the response to Hurricane Katrina and also Abu Ghraib. If you recall, one of the torturers at AG was a woman. She became very famous for taking pictures of prisoners in desperate situations, and she thought it was all fun and games.

Anyhow, about Hildner. I had seen in my thoughts before he passed away that something would happen -- the name I had was "Hilter". But it turns out that it was Hildner who later died and was important in our timeline.

The family history on Gen Hildner said he told the military he was from one town and he was actually a native of New Haven.
I looked up the name in the context of the Nazi SS.

I found an entry on a female SS member: Ruth Elfreide Hildner.
She was an immensely cruel and exuberant torturer, and favored killing prisoners with a baton.
Literally she was fond of beating people to death with a stick.

I could hardly believe that, yet at the same time, realized, there are other women out there who struggle with the need to be violent.
But Hitler gave these sick people the ability to act out on the less fortunate, just like General Hildner must have known that his own troops were doing the same.

It's a very difficult discussion, of who is to blame for this -- what some people tell me is to just try to get over it all and move forward on a better path.
One could wander the bloody trails of history forever looking for someone to blame.

I agree that social action is necessary when dealing with systematic abuse such as is found in the USA and other male dominated countries.
But one of the areas in which women themselves need empowerment is in NOT acting like the other abusers. that the appropriate response to pain is mercy and not disgust.

Those who are disgusted with themselves and can't come to grips with that will always abuse others.

p.s. I am dealing with some legal trouble as some of you know, and wanted to point out, during that last interaction with the police, it was a female officer who injured me.

She pulled me out of a car by the chain of the cuffs instead of touching my arms.
She was disgusted by me to the point where pulling the chain seemed more appropriate to her. I mean, would you pull a patient by the IV? Then why jerk a prisoner by the chain?

Also in 2011, a female officer saw what was going on when the people at her precinct denied water for hours and hours while a crazy veteran was being held at their station... she didn't intervene.... where is the nurturing instinct there exactly?

I told the later woman officer that her behavior had been crafted to impress her coworkers, and the truth is, they weren't

[Christine]

Thank you dear Camilo... and so it shall be. I will take your heart's cry further.

STOP ALL VIOLENCE AGAINST SACRED LIFE NOW -THE DIVINE FEMININE IS THE INCARNATED SPIRIT, WHEN WE COMMIT VIOLENCE AGAINST HER WE ARE COMMITTING DEGRADATION OF OUR SELF. MAY THE AWAKENING WORLD SEE THIS TRUTH.

Posted by Camilo (here)
Our Most Important Mission Ever: Stop Violence Against Women Now

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Posted by Paula (here)

Posted by Nanoo Nanoo (here)

Posted by Paula (here)

Posted by Nanoo Nanoo (here)
Ok So can we try something ?

Ladies , can you each make a short list , lets say 3 things , you would like to see change that is not already in process.

Identifying the problems is key to finding solutions.

SO far we have number ..

1 : No more circumcisions ( id agree with that one , ouch ) tip of the ice berg .. priceless: 0 )

keep them coming

N

• Accept strong women, don’t try to change them into something they are not.
• Know that if we have different opinions, it doesn’t make yours wrong. They’re just different.
• Be as supportive of us as we are for you.
• Life is not a competition.

Note: I know not all men fit the above. In fact, I'm encourage since I've come to Avalon. There are many open-minded, supportive men and women.

I hear you on this Paula but can i pick on you here , i hate this to be you but is this not a relationship issue ? its not nessesarily an equality issue imo. I mean you could reverse the angle and be talking about a reversal of sexes here.

What we need to cover are specific instances of how MEN have blocked Women from being equal.

In terms of your situation however , which is important to address, can i offer some advise and i speak from experience. Anyone can get a " dud " when they pick a partner, male or female ... the problem is we think they will change and because we have invested time and effort we stick around till the defective model has a malfunction and we put up with it for whatever reason.

The advise i give to you is this .. The moment you notice abnormal behaviour , get out and leave. If you stick around you are asking for trouble. There are plenty of awesome people in the world to date so move on sonner rather than later. This is for everybody .. dont suffer in a dead end relationship ! AND dont have kids with a defective model. Ladies in particular you should be very careful and vet the potential sperm doner , you are going to have that child you are stuck with him forever.

MAKE wise decisions.

N

Ladies , can you each make a short list , lets say 3 things , you would like to see change that is not already in process.

Hi Nanoo Nanoo,

This is what you asked: you would like to see change that is not already in process.. From my perspective, you’ve demonstrated some of my points. And I understand it is your perspective. Which just made a case for another on my list.

After my post, I went to bed and thought more. It’s a list that fits both men and women. Which brings me to your point that mine is about relationships. To that I say, yes and no. My list is for BOTH a relationship and world perspective. And aren’t relationships what life is all about? Between two, between many? We don’t need different sets of rules. We getting the heck of Dodge, I mean duality. ‘Keep it simple’, is what works for me.

If the advice you gave on relationships was for me specifically then I’d say: nope, not even close. The advice you gave was for the Paula 35+ years ago. Which is why often I add dates. It is my hope when I share these personal slices of life, that people are encouraged to make change for themselves. One CAN rise out of beaten down emotionally, physically, and/or financially. One gleans knowledge through experience, takes action sooner than later, which transforms into greater knowledge, wisdom and love of self. And comes to rest and KNOW, “Never again.” One last point here. I've got enough life under my belt that I'd add, the experience, knowledge, wisdom and love grows exponentially.

When you say, “No, not, this. Yes that,” means am I willing to put forth the time and energy to see if any make the “Top 10 Nanoo Nanoo list?” No. That’s a game I’ve alway walked way from. From one perspective, that’s an example of competition and not cooperation. Which is one from my list. To me, this is the brainstorm stage. Everyone comes up with solutions. We list, lists, list, without monitor filters.

Not directed at you here: Folks with life experience, street wise savvy, or creativity, or intelligent often see things from the greater perspective. That’s why many test poorly on standardized tests. The makers of the test with tunnel vision want parrot answers. Shiver.

Here’s another for my list: Willingness for all to see from the greater perspective.

Peace,
Paula

Hey Paula ,

I somehow knew when i wrote what i did that it was risky.. You of all people i would never want to offend and i feel maybe i have. Please forgive my inadequate ability to express ideas the way i hear them and feel them.. its a work in progress for me and i thank you for your patience.

before what im trying to do goes into the bin please know im trying to get a result because i desperately want to help change. I know i dont speak for all however i know some will benefit from being able to read a simplified sentence that they can remember and then use it to effect their behaviour. There is no one size fits all answer , however i believe this will help some " Get It "

I believe , please correct me if i am wrong , but from what i know of men is in order to effect change we need to get right to the core of the issue and then extract a line of code that encapsulates it. This line of code can then be used to monitor or change negative behavour patterns. If the line of code is too long or complex to remember it wont be as effective or as easy to recall...

And what i present is not a game , its nessesary for us to understand needs to define them first. What i am trying to do is give some semblence of organisation and then present a result. A result thats effective is a basic bullet point list that is easy to read and digest, no , thats not the answer for all but for some it is .. for some they just want something simplified in order to get it , to digest it ,and recall it when its nessesary.

It is obvious and i say this generally when we talk of our past dilemmas and heart aches it brings up un resolved emotions .. whats the most important thing i can impart is tolet those emotions go because they do not serve us any more. Forgiveness is the key here , Courage is the key here

what i hope is that we resolve man speak and woman speak need to have their own identities and then some basic translations without wanting to convert one to the other but rather present language thats easy tothe one to understand.

N

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Posted by 778 neighbour of some guy (here)

Posted by Sierra (here)

Posted by CD7 (here)

What we need to cover are specific instances of how MEN have blocked Women from being equal.

Well welcome to the world and its base of operations!!! If we also think about it....a womens role is somewhat set up to view man in similar way we are conditioned to view GOD. Put your trust in him, relinquish your own power, and he will provide. You are to serve him and he is to be your lifelong caretaker. Its quite the pattern we have throughout our globe. Relinquishing of one's power over to another. Never really being CULTIVATED to be our own sovereign individual with the power to create AND LEARN HOW TO DRIVE OUR OWN CAR FIRST before you add another individual in to drive ALONG WITH YOU

Have to tell you... I just read a news article some minister in the Saudi government announced that driving cars damages a women's vulva and reproductive organs...

Hmmm, you'd expect the same thing would happen to a mans prostate and nuts in that case eh, what an idiot, or maybe he carry's his a round in a small backpack to prevent sitting on it.

rotflinpainloling ! genius :0)

N

[AutumnW]

When I think of my mother, who died a few years back, I remember a very gentle, hugely tolerant, loving person. Like many women her age, she was ultra-submissive and didn't interfere with my father's treatment of his children when she should have.

I still have problems trying to reconcile both sides of her nature--the one who took care of us and loved us and the one who betrayed us, because my father's word was law. It really is enough to drive you a bit crazy. I have often found myself asking the question in my mind, "Who WERE you?" Which one was you? She had so much power and she didn't use it. Talk about conditioned responses. It's like both of my parents had a human side and a social robot side that was reflexive, unthinking, unquestioning.

For all of our flaws, baby boomers did manage to smash the social order by questioning dominant myths. In so doing we have become more ourselves and more truly human. I honestly think that if the sexual revolution and other types of political awakening hadn't occurred, we would have become more and more hive minded or hive mindless. The movie, The Stepford Wives, would be seen as a film about libertarianism, by comparison.

The very fact that this discussion is taking place at all is because the first steps have been taken to dismantle the 'patriarchy'. May it continue with patience, mercy and love.

[Nanoo Nanoo]

Posted by 778 neighbour of some guy (here)
Quote from Christine.

All I could say, that if a male became a female right now IS THE ONLY WAY THEY WOULD REALLY GET IT...
And ill say im sure this goes for women as well!! Overall in my view, its a gender conditioning over a life that effects BOTH SIDES

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=umKMUH-_K7E

The conditioning............ odd isn't it, I know this is about male abuse but......17 years ago I cleaned my act up, I was very much a dope addict and checked myself in in a clinic voluntarily for 15 months.....there I witnessed that the root of addiction comes from conditioning by upbringing, experiencing lack....of affection, understanding, love.....experiencing abuse, physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual.. there I witnessed first hand that both genders handled this differently, man could turn to self destructive aggression and make a mess of things in a very obvious way, women however who got taught not to fight and be violent had a totally different strategy but no less violent in nature...... tears..........and sexual manipulation........ very cruel and very much a powerful weapon and also very hardcore abusive.....and pre programmed by many many mothers into their daughters, I don't know where to take this from here on....... but I thought that observation at least deserved to be pointed out as well................in any case, different strategies can give pretty much the same results, f@cked up people who assign blame to each other, until they see it for what it really is/was, hmm,
complicated subject eh. Hope I didn't drift to far off topic with the above.

BTW, there is a chapter in "quite weapons for silent wars" that deals with this subject, a must read.

thank you for this one : 0 )

in the games of self defence , martial arts and boxing an analogy can be made

the martial arts used no hand protection during training so that the hands or head would show superficial damages immediately , these can be healed as they are apparent..

in the boxing world they bandage your head and hands to stop superficial damage but on a long enough time line masking superficial damages become deep seeded ones with no cure ..

N

[Anchor]

Posted by Nanoo Nanoo (here)
i need to get out more

N

I believe your post and so I say to you: no you really don't need to get out more.

Trust me, you are truly fortunate not to have seen this side of things.

It is a sobering thought is it not, that thread has at its focus a kind of abuse that is in ADDITION to all the other combinations and forms of abuse our species perpetrates

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Nanoo Nanoo (here)
I somehow knew when i wrote what i did that it was risky.. You of all people i would never want to offend and i feel maybe i have. Please forgive my inadequate ability to express ideas the way i hear them and feel them.. its a work in progress for me and i thank you for your patience.

Nanoo Nanoo, firstly, you are a sweetie pie and secondly, you are a sweetie pie. I am honored that you had enough trust to reach out. The same goes for me, I’m still walkin’ the journey, and you lend to my ever changing faith in humanity.

And what i present is not a game , its nessesary for us to understand needs to define them first. What i am trying to do is give some semblence of organisation and then present a result. A result thats effective is a basic bullet point list that is easy to read and digest, no , thats not the answer for all but for some it is .. for some they just want something simplified in order to get it , to digest it ,and recall it when its nessesary.

Yes, lists and visuals are helpful for me. Quick, concise reads. It was late last evening and I plain ran out of gas and ideas. But I really wanted to help you with your suggestions. Though, I’d still add what I did.

In some cases, people need to digest a bit longer before they are ready to begin solution phase. I say that as a reminder to myself as well. My way to problem solve is jump in and trial and error and then tweak. While others have the ability to see it all out and then skip over the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd drafts.

So in closing, NN, ever doubt that I absolutely know you are of honorable intentions and care for All. In fact, I ordered a medal to hang around your neck, but they shipped an extra large. Not that you couldn’t lift it of course, but you’d be tripping all over the place with the extra long ribbon. Seems they took me literally about how big a heart you have.

Love,
Paula

[Agape]

Posted by Carmody (here)
In the traditional method, done at 7 days after birth by a rabbi, with no anesthetic or other concern, we are talking about a damage level that is as a psychotic break, in the core of the avatar vehicle, wich turns it sideways,and away from confrontation with the damage to the core self.

We are talking about a broken animal of sexual orientation and damage, which rides in the formation of the unconsciousness of the vehicle/avatar, which screws up and changes the neural formation and path of the unfolding/creation of the mind.

The damage is greater than cutting off the legs, or plucking out the eyes ----of a newborn.

We simply don't recognize what it is we are looking at.

I don't have personal experience with what you're trying to imply here Carmody, I know you for wiser opinions .
The way you describe male circumcision here sounds more like talking of castration which it isn't ,
medically and psychologically, yes I suppose there is minor trauma induced in the new born to do with his private parts but there's no 'cutting off his individual enlightenment ' .

It seems to be so traditional custom in Jewish and Islamic families ( not sure about the later and how far this extends ) and by their faith they simply would strongly disagree on the opinion above as out of reality statement .

I'm personally, against all forms of body mutilations but vs the above, on my ways around India especially I met plenty of Israeli youngsters , to my great surprise they are not ashamed to open this topic and they're mostly proud of the tradition .
Likewise , they're proud of their religious background and many are on their way to 'enlightenment ' , perhaps more than any other group of their age .
They tend to be 'spiritual people' in general, both boys and girls , even if they're not exactly 'religious' , they still seem to inherit something of their deeply enspirited ancestry .

Unless I've travelled, met people, heard countless experiences from their own mouth , I'd automatically agree with you .


The other part of the story ..and that's more prominent when you visit some of those 3rd world countries .. is untamed, uncontrollable , impulsive sexuality on human males that underlines every violence,
you might have noticed recent cases of rapes surfacing in news, from India, surfacing because what's get to the news now is a poor tip of an iceberg .

So I don't know what to tell you but every woman who has found herself on the wrong receiving end and had to control and tame her own reactions then and long after, watching these animals with instincts , forgive me,
would think of a method how to create 'human being' , being with dignity, love and intelligence instead what many are getting out there .


If you live in very controlled, sterile society for most of your life, civilised to big deal, you may miss my point but there are millions people out there who can't control their aggression, their sexuality, their hunger .
Animal instincts .