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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    and what's worse, the fact that we are already home, we never left home and there's nowhere else to go but home

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    United States Avalon Member ghostrider's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    You won't enjoy the mountain top , unless you have been in the valley ... yin / yang ...
    Raiding the Matrix One Mind at a Time ...

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    United States Honored, Retired Member. Ron passed in October 2022.
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Quote Posted by apokalypse (here)
    right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.
    I strongly suspect that the larger portion of our consciousness is already home, never left. Wish I could merge the part that is here with the part that is there. But it has not happened yet.

    For me also, it is sometimes frustrating to know and chat with people who are locked into the effects of mainstream programming. Sometimes after I've shifted the conversation to non-mainstream topics, my dreams have shown me that I was cutting down trees, something better not done. I am reminded of a book The Flowering Tree that I associate with those dreams.

    Those who are locked into mainstream programming have something in common with me: we are all here for the thrill of the ride.

    The way to feel better is to shift attention away from what feels bad to something that feels better. Find someone, some animal, some place to love. Works for me.
    Last edited by Ron Mauer Sr; 3rd November 2013 at 13:26.

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    Avalon Member outerheaven's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    My post comes in two parts. First, an inspiration:

    Believe me I hear ya, but it ain't time to go home, brother!

    I never felt like I "fit in" mainstream society from an early age. I was born deeply skeptical of societal norms and institutions. And once I first woke up, those feelings were vindicated, yes, but also buttressed!

    "Why the hell," I asked myself, "did I incarnate here? What is there possibly to do?!"

    I don't know where you're at in your awakening, but might I suggest, don't stop, keep digging!

    There are ways to fight back. It's not hopeless. Lately I've been making orgonite -- look it up! I recommend the WarriorMatrix forums. If you're sensitive to energy, you'll feel its power right away. And if you need proof, put some orgonite under a jar of water and freeze it, along with a regular jar of water to compare with. Compare the two and see how the orgonite water jar has frozen in a much more beautiful pattern, with a column that runs through the middle of the jar and even tries to grow out the top. Now you can see that the power is real.

    Spread orgonite around the home, around the workplace, give it to friends -- watch how it changes their mood for the better. It's cheap and easy to make, and you make the world a more positive place.

    And when you get down, you get depressed, and everything feels hopeless ... go into yourself. Remember that everything around you is just an illusion, a trick at this perceived moment in "time," and something that will pass. You are the only thing that is real, as far as you are concerned. You will gain your strength back and be ready to fight the good fight and let the truth be free.

    I was frustrated at first, but now I know why I incarnated here. It's not hopeless, and leaving my mark on the world is a fantastic feeling. All they can take from me is my life, freeing me in the process. I have nothing to lose, nor do you. We have everything to gain, my friend.

    Second, a conundrum:

    Why did so many people incarnate here, only to remain asleep their whole lives? It really stumps me. I guess it could lend credence to the "physical life on Earth is a school" theory, eh?

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    Mexico Avalon Member Mercedes's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....


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    United States Avalon Member ginnyk's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    There is an old Zen proverb: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water - after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

    I have been "awake" for about 54 years. I was born at the start of WWII - things were bad then. Things were bad during the cold war when we had those "jump under your desk, bend over and kiss your a@@ goodbye drills". Then there was Korea, Vietnam, and on and on. "Awakened ones" have been waiting for the poles to shift, the ax to fall and/or ET's to save or destroy us for as long as I can remember.

    When my husband died over two years ago I prayed every night that I could go home. I would wake up in the morning saying "Oh He!!", I am still here. I have finally accepted that some part of my higher self decided I needed to wait a while longer. I think it was that I wasn't allowed give up and die in utter despair and therefore defeat the purpose of my entire life. Finally, I accepted that if I can't die yet, I might as well live.

    That brings me back to the Zen saying. I found that immersing myself in the mundane day to day activities of life - working, playing, appreciating, loving, giving and just being, that the perspective shifts and the gloom and doom seems to move further away. It does seem so overwhelming. I certainly understand your yearning for the peace of "home". . You have so much to contribute to this world, please do not give up. There are so many here who care for you.

    Love, Gin

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    Poland Avalon Member karamba's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Beautiful Apokalypse!
    I am sending you from the bottom of my Heart LOve and Strenth to your Heart!
    You not alone!
    LOve

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Quote Posted by apokalypse (here)
    right now i'm Very Very Tired and want to go home....anyone have same feeling? i feel isolated only 2-3 people who are not apart of non-mainstream but they really got it while the rest just so into it. Can't stand this world that we lived in anymore and seen people being robot or what we called them mindless sheep...wish them wake up and have that realization.
    i empythize with you strongly here, the fact you are realizing this is a testimony of who you really are in the world of meat body. forgotten memories of countless lives buried within us of which cannot be fathomed as yet. trust it will unravel in ways to overcome the riddle. being lonely in this world of endless waking-sleep seeps into this reality. keep going regardless of the struggle, your actual beingness in the environment shines out, although not apparent at this time to you does make a huge difference in the overall picture. you make the difference to me.

    A little true store i'd like to share with you.

    a few years ago friends of mine decided they wanted to tarmac a large part of their front garden to easily park and drive their car for obviouse ease of access. the job was done, everyone was happy, so they thought! then spring came, little mounds and cracks appeared, they blamed the tarmack contractors! but hey, nothing to do with the tarmackers, the beautifful golden daffodils were on a mission to flourish from beneath and so it was. they pushed and shoved with all their might - it was a beautiful sight. we often smile at this accomplishment, still in amazement of their triumph.

    we have to be the daffodil.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Show Me The Way To Go Home - Tiny Hill and Orchestra



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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Please don't ever feel like you are alone!

    Believe it or not, many people have those feelings;
    you have a lot to give to the world before you say goodbye --
    don't let "them" win, don't become a statistic for the press to cite --

    There was a recent poster here (Sushil Soni?) who talked about being "content in oneself", i.e. even if you are sitting in jail, you can close your eyes and enjoy being a self-aware being with sensation and free will.

    I am having to learn these lessons the *hard* way, too --

    by the way I drive by one of the biggest damn bridges in the world fairly often (at least once per month),
    and it's hard not to stop there sometimes.

    However just knowing that it's there help me make the choice not to stop there, if you know what I mean.
    The illusion of control, knowing that I *could* go to it but choose not to.

    lmao how depressing, I am actually trying to cheer you up and it sounds awful actually.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    [QUOTE=provolon;752292] thanks every for reply and thanks for your long hours put into this post. i do feel i don't belong here and i see my self more of guys like Max Igan-David Icke...ect who is trying to awake humanity. it seems that my current like being like them wake up humanity. if you ask me what i want to do? is unknown...since i was a kid i don't know what my career or occupation are until about year ago.

    i got wakeup called from zeitgeist and at that moment everything just connected including videos that i have watched before like Alex Collier-Icke...ect. you guys might laugh when i say this, after finished one of Zeitgeist movie i feel pain deep inside and really want to cry...yes, i want to cry and keep asking why? why society have to be like this?

    i have talked to few people, they have exact same feeling isolation and tired...is damn hard to tell people about these things what we have talked about on non-mainstream, they really need that awakening or realization...i have one best friend who have that realization even tho he's not into non-mainstream but he get it, never believe in religion or government along with society.

    lately i feel very tired and few times 4-5 months ago i want to end my life because of this world...it seems like my soul purpose to experience this.
    Last edited by apokalypse; 3rd November 2013 at 00:39.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    original poster - shoulder the cross that's your to bear - there are plenty of us struggling with our own cross and when we fall and stumble - hopefully there will be those that set theirs down (if they can) and help you reshoulder yours. perhaps the helping stranger will be too worn out to even speak encouragement but they certainly understand and feel your burden.

    P.S. if you feel the pain of this life so acutely - why would you think taking your own life would mean going to someplace better? - don't answer the question for me answer if for yourself.
    Last edited by Crazy Louie; 3rd November 2013 at 04:41.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    this may also help explain some thinking beyond the box


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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    ..........
    Last edited by Redstar Kachina; 5th April 2015 at 00:04.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Quote Posted by Kimberley (here)
    If you are here on earth at this time you chose to be here and are one of the best of the best. When you remember that you will have a much easier and fun time here.

    Hang in there all of you "want to go homers"!!! You came here to help and you are thanked greatly.

    After spending hours listening to Andrew Bartzis the last few days I am more optimistic than ever. I too have been feeling impatient of late and got a good lift up listening to Andrew (never knew of him until a couple weeks ago).



    There is a thread on him here:

    https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=734336&viewfu

    Much love, peace, and fun to us all, always in all ways!!!
    Thank you Kimberly can you tell us what did you like from the video? I saw it days ago but I was so tired I don't remember almost anything (time travelling changed history of Earth lot's of time, he is librarian of knowledge, hmm.. what else)

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    Avalon Member lunaflare's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Yes, I feel weary too. For sure. I have had glimmers of full "vitality".
    Hey Kimberley, how is this a truth for you...

    If you are here on earth at this time you chose to be here and are one of the best of the best. When you remember that you will have a much easier and fun time here.


    Interested to hear more about your perspective. Many say it, think it, write it and believe it...

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Many of us seem to suffer more and more every day. I feel kinda lucky as my dark-night-of-the-soul was already last year and I entered to whole new spiritual dimension. And during those hard times I found out that there was basicly 3 thing that helped me to go on: excercise (any sport will do the job; but I found going to gym and walking in the park /woods best for me), meditation (guided meditations worked best for me) and absolutely no alcohol/drugs of any kind.

    Remember, everything happens for a reason, everything is possibility to learn more about life - that is why were are born here.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Be at peace with yourself, be at peace with others. Tiredness is a burden we bear.
    Love. peace and Blessings to you all.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    HAHAHA! I've been called nuts for so long it doesn't matter to me any more! The really funny part about it was I was being called nuts for recognizing something that actually happened and then was totally denied by the doer, like it never happened and I was the crazy. They attacked first with claims of insanity - on my part. I heard someone else say that recently and it reminded me of history.

    We know what we know. I've always gotten in trouble for it. I don't mean I'm "special" but I know what I know and I can't help it and I also can't help but seek more knowledge, the thirst for understanding doesn't turn off. We can touch each other and communicate without speaking, we can travel the universe, and jump dimensions and no one can convince me we don't. I've done it too many times. If that's crazy, OK. If music and art and the pursuit of clean energy is crazy, everything is crazy. Why isn't working my body till it hurts on a daily basis to feed or help these people who call me crazy, crazy? It is crazy.

    BUT I can still have fun and laugh at the whole thing... now. I may not tomorrow but today I can laugh at the utter folly of putting my time into things that were not important. I love my family and friends, no matter where they are. That time is never wasted. I feel a greater love for the whole of life than I ever did before. That keeps growing. I feel protective of those who cannot care for or, defend themselves... and I'm not afraid any more. I'd be more afraid if I didn't try to stop some of the real madness. If that ends up sucking for me in the physical well... I can't worry about that.
    Last edited by sygh; 3rd November 2013 at 22:19.

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    Default Re: I Want To Go Home....

    Quote Posted by ginnyk (here)
    There is an old Zen proverb: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water - after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

    I have been "awake" for about 54 years. I was born at the start of WWII - things were bad then. Things were bad during the cold war when we had those "jump under your desk, bend over and kiss your a@@ goodbye drills". Then there was Korea, Vietnam, and on and on. "Awakened ones" have been waiting for the poles to shift, the ax to fall and/or ET's to save or destroy us for as long as I can remember.

    When my husband died over two years ago I prayed every night that I could go home. I would wake up in the morning saying "Oh He!!", I am still here. I have finally accepted that some part of my higher self decided I needed to wait a while longer. I think it was that I wasn't allowed give up and die in utter despair and therefore defeat the purpose of my entire life. Finally, I accepted that if I can't die yet, I might as well live.

    That brings me back to the Zen saying. I found that immersing myself in the mundane day to day activities of life - working, playing, appreciating, loving, giving and just being, that the perspective shifts and the gloom and doom seems to move further away. It does seem so overwhelming. I certainly understand your yearning for the peace of "home". . You have so much to contribute to this world, please do not give up. There are so many here who care for you.

    Love, Gin
    It tickles me pink to know that someone with some age on them is here. I'm no young one myself. How did you come by Avalon? What brought you here? After all, it's not like you stumbled into it, or did you? What's the story behind your wandering?

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