I was riding a pretty high crest of life the last few months, my business exploded, everything seemed to be going great but I also braced myself for the trough to come. True intelligence is knowing that the only constant we can count on in this existence is impermanence. As we ride the highest crest we must be aware that soon enough the trough will come. Life is crest and troughs, crest and troughs....
I landed this huge interior job on a 1780's farm house. Its something like 17-20 rooms, all horse hair plaster. In the beginning it seemed like a huge gift from the universe. It was a job that I believed would have brought 10 grand in profit in as little as 2 weeks of work. I used the money I got on the signing check and also completely drained my saving to buy a new truck. I was driving a 93 dodge dakota and it was a piece. It worked and I am not a material person so I used it for 3-4 years to grow my business. But I was getting to the point where my business was out growing my car and I was losing high end work because of the look of my vehicle. I decided to buy a 03 silverado, extended crew cab. It was in beautiful condition in side and out, all leather, no rust underneath. I test drove it a few times and it seemed wonderful, I even had my mechanic test drive it and he confirmed it was a good purchase.
The job I bid turned out to be a nightmare, I ended up by underbidding by 4 grand which made me take a huge hit in overhead. I didn't see what I was getting into until the work started. Every room needed to be skim coated, what I thought I could spray turned out to be all hand brushing as the owner wanted it done in an order that would not allow me to spray effectively. I took a huge hit. Underbidding by 4 grand and also a job I thought would take 2 weeks, is turning into about a 6 week job. Which obviously kills me in many area's, my other booked work, my over head, money I need to stay a float and so on. At the end of the week the home owner noticed that the paint company mixed the paint wrong, all the rooms I have completed must be painted over. This is how I ended my week, another HUGE setback on a job that had no room for setbacks. We are talking a 15 gallon mistake here...
The truck I bought, the used car salesman had work done to it before he gave it to me. Changed a tie rod which means an alignment was needed after that and a few other things. As soon as I got in the car I felt a vibration and drove back, I got the run around and he told me everything was fine and to keep driving. I was told by two different garages that it was the torque converter on the transmission and I called back the car salesman to talk about the 30 day 1250 miles warranty I had and he completely flipped his sh*t on me. Basically told me to F off. I brought it to another garage and they told me the vibration was actually the drive shaft center support bearing and that the tie rod he put in was a bad part, it seemed it was taken off another truck that was not in as bad of shape in put on mine. So here I am having to replace the drive shaft bearing (which holds the drive shaft in two) the tie rod he replaced and pay for an alignment all over again. This cost me around 600 bucks. My family and friends were amazed how I took it. I never let it get me down, always had a smile. I missed about 1000 dollars in work those days and spent 300 bucks on rental cars getting to and from garages. I was happy to get my truck back Thursday and get back to work. Upon driving the truck the last few days I noticed an rpm surge before it was changing 2-3 gear, it now seems the transmission is slipping and is about to go completely.
I called my lawyer back who is on this guy for the parts I changed and asked him what my legal right is with the warranty or making this guy buy the truck back. Six hundred dollars fixing the truck wasnt that bad, but a 2-3 grand transmission job is where I draw the line. I felt defeated and spiritually low. I used all my spiritual energy in the past week to get through the job and truck problems and not let it effect me but this was the final blow. I came home defeated last night thinking about smoking pot. I haven't smoked in months. I see pot as a huge spiritual trap. At least with drinking you can see the trap it is by how you act. Pot is a tricky trickster, it gives the false sense of spiritual progression all while the user stays stagnant. I have made more progress on my spiritual path and self in the last few months not smoking than the last 5 years smoking. I was an every day smoker for a decade (this is not a thread about the good vs bad of pot so please refrain, this is just my opinion). The thought was going through my mind to smoke to release and then my dogs came up to the couch and showered me in love. I needed it more than ever and I knew they knew. There was no doubt in my mind they knew something was wrong. The desire to smoke lifted as I felt their love and saw this as a test in my path.
The real purpose of this thread is to talk about dogs and that I believe they are the closest we can come to in this reality of true unconditional love on an every day basis. Its not mistake that Dog spells God backwards. I felt so defeated, so spiritually low and these dogs with their unconditional love helped me feel divine love again. My problems are still there, my job and truck are still a nightmare but I felt that everything is going to be ok. There are little things and big things in life and the little things should not cause us to worry. In the end these are little things. I went over the checklist; "I have shelter, check. I have food, check. I have clothing, check". Literally half of the world does not have these things. I will be ok!
I can't even remember what life was like before my dogs, I have two pit bulls. They helped me see last night that Love is truly all that matters. No matter how low you are, love will bring you right back up. Both my dogs are rescues, one stayed in a shelter for over a year because she was a Pit Bull and the stereotype that brings. The other was from Louisiana and we had him shipped 2500 miles to New England as down south has a really bad dog culture with dog fighting. Both my dogs are grateful for their lives and they show me it every day. They know where they came from and what they have now, just as I remember the depression I lived before I came to my spiritual self.
Today I woke up and said thanks to the universe for this experience. I learned a lot from it. For a few days I felt such resentment towards this salesman as I know he knew what he was doing. I started to feel a resentment towards humans in general but something came over me. I got really emotional at work and tried to see what the lesson was here. Is it that I am too naive and try to see God in everyone although most people don't act like it or deserve it? Or was it a lesson in that I am not looking hard enough to find God even in those that try to scam me, who are my spiritual enemies? I came to the conclusion it was the latter and that even though this man did not know who he was on the inside, I did and I still must love him. Although I don't have to be his friend or do business with him ever again, I still must love him as my brother. I thanked the universe for this lesson this morning and also told my self "hey, you just paid off a karmic debt for some bs you pulled in a past life, its not over now but the payment is made, things will get better."
I woke up with a gratefulness for my life, my family, my dogs and the spiritual lessons I have learned. I gave thanks for all these things in my life and felt something lift from my soul. My problems are still there but in the end it never wavered who I was as a being and my core values and in the end this is all that really matters. I thanked God for my dogs as I realized they truly are the closest we will ever get to true unconditional love in this reality. I am not saying my fiance did not play her part but there is something about a dogs love that completely transformed me last night and helped me get back to my core values. That something was unconditional love. Ill always remind my self that Dog spells God backwards. Such a beautiful gift we were given...
These are my dogs. Lucy is the Red nose Female Pitbull, Edward is the black male Pitbull. I honestly felt a sense of fear about posting this picture of me as I have never made a picture of my self public online. But a sense of divine love swept over me and I knew it would be ok. Its time to let go of these fears and start living through the perspective of love, just as my dogs do. Don't mind the jackets on the dogs, its not for looks! Pitbulls only have a single coat of fur, most dogs have a double, thus they are not made for New England temperatures. The coat truly is needed. From my family to yours, Much love....
In divine friendship,
your brother,
-Michael