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Thread: What to say to a friend who is dying?

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    United States Avalon Member
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    So sad to hear of your friend, Antagenet. And thanks for sharing with us since I think you already know what to do.

    I've always felt that souls that are moving on still need to feel as if they have place here. They have their own guilt of leaving someone behind and the fear they will be forgotten.

    You love her. Of course, you do.
    You want her to stay but has your forgiveness and permission to go. Forgiveness for having to leave and permission is acceptance of her leaving.
    Until you meet again, you will always remember her. Her smile, her laugh, her tears, her good as well as her bad. Who she truly is.

    Your a good friend Antagenet.

    Be safe, R2

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    United States Avalon Member The Lawnman's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Its been my experience that its alright to just be with the family while they cope with a loved one that is dying. Take every opportunity to affirm them and let them know how much they are loved.

    I had a friend drop by my home just yesterday to share with me that his brother passed away very suddenly of cancer, leaving behind a loving wife and four children. All I could do was listen to him share his feelings about being there as he passed on. It's a tough thing...life is so precious. As I closed the door when he left, I felt compelled to hug my wife a little closer and tell my son how much I loved him.

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    Avalon Member Antagenet's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Quote Posted by Carmody (here)
    It goes a little like this:

    I watched and listened to your video Carmody
    and wrote this to my friend. Should I send it?
    editors step up to the plate!!! loll


    SUNSET is SUNRISE

    The sunset of your time is as you are, blazing fiery strong and utterly gentle.
    Silver linings is what you always carry and give to others.
    I hold you hand up to the edge of the pier and let you go, brave as you are.. alone but not alone.

    Promise draws you towards all the million rewards of a life well lived, deeply loved
    all the kindnesses of expression and reserve you emanated
    are the breezes of seagulls and chickadees and all the birds you love, rafts to lift you

    I try to imagine how high you will go
    with lakes of essential oils and mountains of amethysts and diamonds
    and all the people you have ever known, waiting to say Thank You

    The blessing of your conscious last moments here
    are a symphony of strivings, and finally with your marathon ribbon in sight
    a golden thread that will lead you straight to God

    Leave all the pain and worry and doubts here forever. We will take care of them for you
    in our tears and missing you. What you care about will be with us in the time we have
    left. Leave us in peace and joy. We are so honored to have walked with you here.

    I will dance to the tune of your laughter, be sustained by your having understood
    so much, so well, so lovingly. the parrots will remind me you are flying now
    with your own wings stretched so far, so wide, you can go anywhere now.

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  7. Link to Post #24
    Avalon Member Antagenet's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions and overwhelming response to me.
    I have never felt so much love from a group online and am amazed and appreciate every one of you.

    I try to listen as much as I can to both what she says and doesn't say. She has always been a spiritual person
    and it seems to really be seeing her through. "I feel strong and peace" she says. "Don't worry."

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    United States Avalon Member Dennis Leahy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Quote Posted by Antagenet (here)

    I ... wrote this to my friend. Should I send it?
    editors step up to the plate!!! loll


    SUNSET is SUNRISE

    The sunset of your time is as you are, blazing fiery strong and utterly gentle.
    Silver linings is what you always carry and give to others.
    I hold you hand up to the edge of the pier and let you go, brave as you are.. alone but not alone.

    Promise draws you towards all the million rewards of a life well lived, deeply loved
    all the kindnesses of expression and reserve you emanated
    are the breezes of seagulls and chickadees and all the birds you love, rafts to lift you

    I try to imagine how high you will go
    with lakes of essential oils and mountains of amethysts and diamonds
    and all the people you have ever known, waiting to say Thank You

    The blessing of your conscious last moments here
    are a symphony of strivings, and finally with your marathon ribbon in sight
    a golden thread that will lead you straight to God

    Leave all the pain and worry and doubts here forever. We will take care of them for you
    in our tears and missing you. What you care about will be with us in the time we have
    left. Leave us in peace and joy. We are so honored to have walked with you here.

    I will dance to the tune of your laughter, be sustained by your having understood
    so much, so well, so lovingly. the parrots will remind me you are flying now
    with your own wings stretched so far, so wide, you can go anywhere now.
    If you don't send it, you'll always wish you had.

    Very moving. She will be deeply touched - she'll know you "got her" or like the movie Avatar line, "I see you", she will know you connected with her beyond words - and listened.

    (tiny typo, line 3: "you hand" should be "your hand")

    I would be so honored if someone sent it to me as I was preparing to exit.

    Dennis


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    Avalon Member Antagenet's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Quote Posted by Dennis Leahy (here)
    If you don't send it, you'll always wish you had.

    Very moving. She will be deeply touched - she'll know you "got her" or like the movie Avatar line, "I see you", she will know you connected with her beyond words - and listened.

    (tiny typo, line 3: "you hand" should be "your hand")

    I would be so honored if someone sent it to me as I was preparing to exit.

    Dennis
    Thankyou Dennis!

    Sent!!!!!

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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Antagenet , whenever someone I know is living their final days here in this lifetime physically , listening or tuning in is so much important for you and that person, I also gravitate to finding humorous pictures or jokes to share in that one moment of laughter when all else goes away . Even for a few seconds there is a total removal of a situation/condition and it is replaced with joy and a bond of a laugh and love. That in itself is a priceless moment .

    Please realize that we can also grieve while someone is physically still here, the process is the same , Difficulty concentrating, Apathy, Anger, Guilt, Sleep Disturbances, Loss of Appetite, Withdrawal from others, Intense sadness or tears, Loneliness, Numbness . There is no common sequence we go thru when this happens, sometimes you think you are loosing it when you can be crying one minute and laughing the next. But your not, and this is you experiencing this with real raw emotions as a human spirit on this earth.

    Make those laughter times as long as you can, read to your friend as long as you can. Share those moments but also know that departing this earth isn't the end, it is another beginning! Find comfort in believing .

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    Scotland Moderator Billy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to say to a friend who is dying?

    Quote Posted by Antagenet (here)
    She has always been a spiritual person
    and it seems to really be seeing her through. "I feel strong and peace" she says. "Don't worry."
    The trauma as always is with those who loved her and are left behind. She tells her loved ones that she is strong at peace and not to worry. Take her advice.

    When the time of parting approaches, Say thank you, I love you, until we shall meet again.

    For you.

    On Death

    Than Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."
    And he said:
    You would know the secret of death.
    But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
    The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
    If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
    For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
    In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
    And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
    Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
    Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
    Is the sheered not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
    Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
    For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
    And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
    Only when you drink form the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
    And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
    And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

    Kahil Gibran

    peace
    When you express from a fearful heart in the now moment, You create a fearful future.
    When you express from a loving heart in the now moment, You create a loving future.

    Have no fear, Be aware and live your lives journey from a compassionate caring nurturing heart to manifest a compassionate caring nurturing future. Billyji


    Peace

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