Can you show love to people you abhor?

[sound consciousness]

Can you show love to people you abhor? For example ,people from work, college, school, military etc? It is very hard for us all to stay positive all the time?.

[christian]

Love/hate relationships seem to be a classical example of how it is possible to love and abhor someone at the same time. However, I feel the energy of (unconditional) love and (judgmental) abhorrence are two different ones. You can channel both energies (and many more) at the same time to varying degrees, but one energy is never the other. You can make both energies you mentioned part of your life experience, but like water and oil they don't technically mix, they're rather like overlaid.

[Pam]

I find I can do it when I recognize that what they are doing is the ego's attempt to gratify itself. The ego continually needs to find a way to feel separate, either better or worse, bigger or smaller, but always separate always special. It will go to any lengths to do that. Much of the time I can clearly see this, however, when my ego is in the drivers seat completely, I am unable to recognize this and it is harder to show and feel love and acceptance for others or my self at that time.

[Michael Moewes]

Love and hate are emotions. Those emotions affect your spiritual evolvement. If you hate you only harvest hate. If you love, sometimes you won't get love back but you're creating positiv karma. that means even with the most unfriendly and negativ person you have to stay calm and friendly. therfore you did the right thing and it's now the other persons problem. sometimes someone upsets me because of his or her stupidity. but I see that this person has earned my compassion because they are just too stupid and can't help themself. sounds simple, but if your able to aplicate this way, life's much more easy.

[sound consciousness]

Posted by peterpam (here)
I find I can do it when I recognize that what they are doing is the ego's attempt to gratify itself. The ego continually needs to find a way to feel separate, either better or worse, bigger or smaller, but always separate always special. It will go to any lengths to do that. Much of the time I can clearly see this, however, when my ego is in the drivers seat completely, I am unable to recognize this and it is harder to show and feel love and acceptance for others or my self at that time.

I totally agree with every word you said......what happens if some people's ego cannot gratify itself?.

[aheb]

I think that the begining of any type of spiritual consciousness is truth, so NO I can't show love to people that I abhor. In fact I find the whole concept abhorent. You must know yourself. you must know the world. Very often people who say that they love people they abhor are really trying to make their egos feel better. They like to think that they are such a fine person that they can feel love when in fact they are disguising their own feelings of hatred.Be honest I say.hate them honestly rather than pretend to love them.dishonestly.

[Bluegreen]

" ... and forgive those who trespass against us ... "

I've noticed that this advice has worked in my favor 100% of the time.

[rgray222]

Posted by sound consciousness (here)
Can you show love to people you abhor? For example ,people from work, college, school, military etc? It is very hard for us all to stay positive all the time?.

Great topic for a thread
I don't think it is necessary or even possible to stay positive all the time and I don't think that you can always show love to people that you abhor. I think it is important to stay civil with people, even those that you find disagreeable. When possible you should remove friends from your life that are dragging you down or people that are always negative. I don't think you need to show these people love but just getting them out of your life is a positive step.

Many times you can't remove people from your life, such as family or at work. Sometimes you can't even control how much time you spend with them. In this case I believe the important thing is to never let your anger turn into hatred. Those that harbour hatred are the ones that suffer the most. Just ask the Israeli/Palestinians who have both found new lows for hating each other how much they are suffering.

If you can find love in your heart for people you abhor than more power to you. If you can't than limit contact and never let your anger turn into hatred!

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=kFnFr-DOPf8

[Agape]

Can you ? Can you abhor and love someone at the same time ? Because these two categories do not go usually together, too well ..

Suppose someone whom you love and who loves you usually, hurts you very badly out of sudden , unexpectedly and shows mean intents when least expected do you still love them ?

I mean, it's probably good if you do - generally - I can't imagine why would I hold anybody in such a contempt in first place that would make me to feel bad about them unless they showed me their bad side ,
but if they insist , there are about two options . Keeping distance is the better one while showing them love may cause ultimately more harms to both people because perhaps, love is not what they expect .. and not what they want to be shown ,
the point here is not me hating others .. the point is them in their naivety and ignorance finding fault with me .

So really, would you answer that question ? Would you choose to show love to those who refuse to see your real value, who keep doubting your genuine intents and who expect that you are not worthy of sharing their table ?


Think of that ..

[spiritwind]

For me the answer would totally depend on each person’s definition of love. Like many words, I think it has been applied to many actions, feelings and emotions. I have met and had to work around a number of people whose personality, which isn’t who we really are at a deeper level, I found very difficult for me to feel comfortable or at ease around. I try to look at it as an opportunity, especially when it is a situation like someone you work with, to gain experience in learning to love. Because to me, really living a life of being loving is a constant learning experience in which I will always have more to learn.

It also has to do with boundaries. An example would be giving a child candy. The child may really want more and more, but is it really loving to always give them what they want? Another example was a relationship that ended many years ago. I realized that staying in that relationship long after it was unhealthy for me out of not wanting to hurt that person was not really loving at all. I also realized that I partially did it because I didn’t want to deal with my own feelings of anxiety about how this person would handle the break up. So, for me it is a constant work in progress to reflect and move toward an ideal that isn’t really something that can be taught. But it can be learned. I always ask myself how would I want to be treated, and the answer to that is always changing.

I had an experience with someone last summer that could not control her emotions and would have outbursts of rage and would yell and scream in your face. She did this to me several times. This triggered many thoughts and emotions in me at the time that made me feel things that were not comfortable. I can’t say I want to ever run into her again, but I certainly don’t feel any residual anger. I suspected she really did have a serious problem that went far beyond what we were seeing and I recently found out that was true. What lies ahead for her now I would not wish on anyone.

I guess to sum it up I tend to always try to see myself in others and how we are all connected. I’ve found the more I clean out my own closet, the less charge I have when around others who don’t always behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable. Sometimes it’s as simple as choosing to let things just roll off your back.

Of course, if I really felt strongly enough to use the word abhor, I might not sit around and send such persons warm fuzzy feelings of warmth and love. I only tend to abhor those who truly hurt others and know exactly what they are doing. I would personally try not to give them any energy at all. I tend to think that the more we learn to treat one another better, those who truly wish to harm without conscience will lose power because they simply have less fear and hate to feed on.

[KaiLee]

I've had the experience of showing compassion towards a person who previously behaved heinously. And given the opportunity, would have again. This was compassion, not love. I saw a being in need, and thus I responded. However, I was not prepared to forget this persons crimes or potential ill will.
When it comes to those unpleasant individuals one must deal with on a day to day basis.... Politeness is the best I can do.
The difference with the former and latter.... The former was in desperate need, the latter are just a pain in the butt and I'm in need. Lol

[Shezbeth]

Posted by sound consciousness (here)
Can you show love to people you abhor?

Of course! Sometimes even, I do!

[sound consciousness]

Posted by Agape (here)
Can you ? Can you abhor and love someone at the same time ? Because these two categories do not go usually together, too well ..

Suppose someone whom you love and who loves you usually, hurts you very badly out of sudden , unexpectedly and shows mean intents when least expected do you still love them ?

I mean, it's probably good if you do - generally - I can't imagine why would I hold anybody in such a contempt in first place that would make me to feel bad about them unless they showed me their bad side ,
but if they insist , there are about two options . Keeping distance is the better one while showing them love may cause ultimately more harms to both people because perhaps, love is not what they expect .. and not what they want to be shown ,
the point here is not me hating others .. the point is them in their naivety and ignorance finding fault with me .

So really, would you answer that question ? Would you choose to show love to those who refuse to see your real value, who keep doubting your genuine intents and who expect that you are not worthy of sharing their table ?


Think of that ..

thanks agape, firstly I think many people would find it hard to love someone they abhor...secondly quote:I can't imagine why would I hold anybody in such a contempt in first place that would make me to feel bad about them unless they showed me their bad side. You mean to tell me you have not disliked anybody in your life?

[Agape]

Posted by sound consciousness (here)
thanks agape, firstly I think many people would find it hard to love someone they abhor...secondly quote:I can't imagine why would I hold anybody in such a contempt in first place that would make me to feel bad about them unless they showed me their bad side. You mean to tell me you have not disliked anybody in your life?

There's long way from 'dislike' to 'abhorrence' .. 'dislike' is a childish sort of feeling .

I may 'dislike' someone/something in a moment of 'first impression' , the same way I 'like' someone/something yet upon further inquiry I may fall in love with the very same character I thought I disliked - after understanding its nature, purpose, meaning and beauty .

Perhaps you'd like to ask me whether I also love or how can I love people who hold each other in strong emotional bond , whether positive or negative while I find such an emotion extreme and very painful if I am forced to experience it or it's being reflected in me ?

I still love them, I see beauty in their 'strong emotion' because beauty there is ... uniqueness of characters , the same way you observe open jaws of lion in a snap and think how beautiful .. not always safe from near site .
But there's probably no way I want to follow, willingly , their example . I want to understand and love - and that's what I usually do and try to do .

There are many things I dislike but that does not mean I have to fight w them .

[Skyhaven]

I wouldn't say I love the ones I abhor, but I do stay neutral, meaning I don't 'feel' hate towards people.

[Feritciva]

Nope you can't. There may be millions of theoretical/philosophical answers to this question. But as of 2014 A.D., Planet Earth, 3D-pre 4D, today's astral/etheric/energetic environment, practically no you can't - and you should not.

As others have mentioned that doesn't mean you have to fight with them, staying away and protecting your own integrity/sovereignity is enough.

[sound consciousness]

yes I agree with that, but in all of your life you never hated anyone , you just love everyone?
quote: I still love them, I see beauty in their 'strong emotion' because beauty there is ... uniqueness of characters , the same way you observe open jaws of lion in a snap and think how beautiful .. not always safe from near site .
But there's probably no way I want to follow, willingly , their example . I want to understand and love - and that's what I usually do and try to do .

quote:aheb.. I think that the begining of any type of spiritual consciousness is truth, so NO I can't show love to people that I abhor. In fact I find the whole concept abhorent. You must know yourself. you must know the world. Very often people who say that they love people they abhor are really trying to make their egos feel better. They like to think that they are such a fine person that they can feel love when in fact they are disguising their own feelings of hatred.Be honest I say.hate them honestly rather than pretend to love them.dishonestly. I intend to agree with Aheb.

[korgh]

Is very hard for the most of us stay positive all the time but harder is to hate someone. You can (IMO) show compassion for those who living disturbed and spread their negative energy but to abominate someone without mercy is possible in some conditions. After all, we are all human isn't? There's something very dark, deeply inside of everyone of us and there is no way to eradicate but only filling ourselves positively, keeping the dark side under control.

[Agape]

Posted by sound consciousness (here)
yes I agree with that, but in all of your life you never hated anyone , you just love everyone?

I'm not sure you will get me right .. but basically, not , I don't come close to the category of hatred or abhorrence in my life ,
both due to my nature and secondly because I consciously worked on cultivating those 'lighter shades' of social experience .
It's not clear where are you exactly coming from with the question .. so I don't want to bore you but there's hardly anything more complex and complicated than our psyche,
so the 'either black or white' corner is not the way I can see it either .

Hatred is planted feeling .. not an innate one - with very few exceptions of psychopaths who would be born with such traits , you don't meet lots of hatred in nature ,
what is natural is fear and ignorance, fear because of ignorance , and hurts resulting from that cause .

If we , for example , send you to jungle .. or a ZOO garden with plenty of different animals to observe, would you 'naturally' hate any of them ?

I don't think so . Perhaps you might say you 'hate mosquitoes' if they pester you a lot but that again, comes only after you've been hurt by them .

Similarly, a newborn entering human society , or a newcomer have hardly any good reason for hating people unless .. again, they've been hurt by them previously and unless, and that's even more important they did not understand where does the 'evil' imposed on you originate .

I consider people who harm others victims, usually they're the first unknown victims of violence no one has cared to fix ,
most people who manipulate others are themselves victims of abuse and manipulations, and subjects of mind controls from someone else , and so forth.. the chain is long .. but not unbreakable , if it was , mankind would have very limited chances for improvement .

I can't say that I understand where are you coming from, as a person..

but ..with the amount of wrong feelings circling within human society , taking anyone possible on target for being who they are - only because you don't understand who they are - i consider extremely important to cut the chain of bad feelings , no matter who or where they come from .. either make others feel better .. if that's possible at all .. or , leave them alone to their experience but don't repeat their negativity towards us , don't pass it to others , seek such associations in life that protect you from these very harmful feelings .

If you think it's not worth it to you and life HAS to be black and white , well .. but we are all unique and somewhere else on the color chart .

[conk]

You must love them, as they are you. You do not have to love their behavior or their actions, but you must love them. They are simply doing the best they can with the tools they have. How can you judge them without knowledge of their upbringing and what their environment has done to them?

What of the child that grew up in the inner city, with little to no love and guidance? His pre-frontal cortex is undeveloped, therefore his conscience is limited. Will you hate or abhor him because of this? Children who are not loved never develop the mechanism of control or impulse suppression. They act, then think. Society and our criminal institutions (churches and governments) have created this wretched child. He simply took the input and became the only thing he could become, a selfish, unreasonable adult. Will you hate him for this? What option did he have?

Are you ignoring the basic tenant of spirituality, that we are all One? How can you grow if you harbor thoughts of hate, envy, guilt, shame, pride, etc. The one true rule of life is that you must love another. It's the default setting of our existence. All negative thoughts and emotions fall away in love's presence.