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21st December 2014 03:45
Link to Post #61
Avalon Member
Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly
I have to say I thought I was alone except for my family in what we experienced until I read this post and I've saw what people have wrote and felt.
I remember moving back from abroad to come back home and help my mum with my dad, I left everything behind, my business ,my girlfriend at the time, my life indeed in its entirety , I just made decision that my life was on hold from now as soon as I got the news, I remember sleeping in airports to make the earliest possible flight connections to get back home as fast as I could, I thought the condition could be contained and slowed but I was just plain wrong as I didn't fully understand it.
Its hard to explain to people that have never cared for someone they love with the condition just how it feels.
One of the things that sticks with me is the inability to switch off, it feels like you are watching out for someone even while you sleep so you cant have a really good deep sleep and disengage, but on the other hand you don't really want to disengage as you don't want anything to happen to them.
Sometimes its so hard to think of what happened and the way he went as it seemed to happen in stages, like stepping down a flight of stairs, the thing that I found it hard to deal with and still do. Is how fast it happened and how fast he deteriorated , from being able to play 4 musical instruments to what happened just makes me sad and angry at the same time as I saw how it affected him, he explained it as a fog and a head ache that came upon him that made him sensitive to noise or narration, and also a feeling of being locked in and not being able to find the words to express himself, it actually kills me to think that he expressed this in the beginning and then seeing how bad he got and that he was still feeling this to a much greater degree.
Also when I use to have him in a dream and talk to him then wake up for him not to be with us anymore was so disappointing for a long time, now when he is in a dream I cant bring myself to say much more than a hello as I feel he is gone, I then ask my family in the dream ,how is he here, and they just look at me, its like I'm not quite up to speed with that's happening and they are, its like he's keeping an eye on me, am I alone in having these kinds of dreams if you don't mind me asking.
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21st December 2014 06:31
Link to Post #62