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Thread: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

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    Avalon Member avid's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I have just had a terrible conversation with a best friend. This friend is going through "double grief" - the end of a parent who no longer recognises her, and the definitive end of her mother's death. She wishes it would all end soon. My friend feels terrible guilt, but we wish that there should be no suffering to any of our loved ones. I am trying to help my friend, as I lost 2 parents in one year, and was happy for my Mum who had a terrible quality of life - that was a blessing. But my friend is full of angst against the care home, the carers (who are paid pittances) and somehow offended the sensibilities of folk in the care home who should NOT be jollified in any circumstance! If you have issues against staff in care homes who are seemingly 'insensitive' - remember - these staff are on minimum wage, they have very little or no issues with the incumbents apart from keeping them alive and comfortable, they are trained to keep their patient positive at all times. They have little health background information on who or what their charges are there unless it's severe health disablement, or the ghastly memory problems...Bottom line - mostly the invaluable carers have no clue 'who' they are caring for, they treat everyone as they are paid to do, with love and care.
    http://www.cqc.org.uk/content/contact-us
    Care Quality Commission.
    If you have issues - contact your local authority immediately, and also the CQC in UK.
    Last edited by avid; 12th January 2015 at 22:22.
    The love you withhold is the pain that you carry
    and er..
    "Chariots of the Globs" (apols to Fat Freddy's Cat)

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by Aspen (here)
    No you are not alone in having these types of dreams. Perhaps you have not fully accepted his death yet. Maybe it is too painful right now to do so. Like a form of denial. It is your way of coping. Everyone grieves differently. It will come with time.
    I'm not sure if I have accepted his passing Aspen, I can't call it death as It just doesn't feel like that to me. Its feels like he is still around me but he isn't on the same level or wavelength as I am at the moment, but that feels temporary, it definitely feels temporary .
    And the feeling that I get when I feel he is still around is like a stillness in time from the inside out. Like a warmth and a clarity , you could call it a slow down & a tuning in, its like the feeling you get when the sun comes out and you feel it on your face for a few moments on a cold cloudy day, and you stop and you think Wow, where did the that come from, I completely wasn't expecting that but It just makes all the difference at that time.
    It may not happen very often but It just reminds you not to forget what you had & what you shared together and also helps you with where you are in your life at the moment.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Thank you all so much for all the support and messages.

    It's been rough for us all. I've never been in this kind of situation before. Very bittersweet to day the least. She left everything to me. My family isn't pleased. I'm feeling every kind feeling at once if that makes any sense.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by Brakeman (here)
    Thank you all so much for all the support and messages.

    It's been rough for us all. I've never been in this kind of situation before. Very bittersweet to day the least. She left everything to me. My family isn't pleased. I'm feeling every kind feeling at once if that makes any sense.
    I totally understand, I've had few deaths in my very small family so not a lot of experience. But then my only, younger cousin died in another state last year who I could only ever have surface conversation with from totally different views of reality, who left me out of both his will and being aware his even being that sick, and for months I switched back and forth from every intense feeling in the book. Immense loss and emptiness... then frustration with his bullheaded blind mind... then resentment that he left me out of being there for him.... then resentment that he left me out of our family legacy... then feeling a gigantic hole in heart missing him.... then resentment at the price he paid for not taking care of himself and rejecting me for my stupid healthy habits... then feeling deprived of getting old with him.... then guilty wondering what else I should have/could have done.... then feeling thrown out of a bus with the sudden loss and the world so much emptier..... then... then... then.... It was an unexpected roller coaster for a long time. I assume this is very, very common.

    Maybe it all reduces down to the shock of the unfinished business that is now unfinishable - a reminder for what you still have a chance to not let happen with those still living.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Thank you so so much, this makes me feel less alone. It's been a traumatic time and I have really no one in my family to turn to...

    Today was just moreshouting between my mom and my sister. The money seems to have made them all mad, like monsters. I can't even see what I used to love about them anymore. I can't take this shouting anymore. Grandma would have been horrified.

    I'll keep you all updated and help being awareness to this sort of thing, you're all here for me and I need that more than you could know...

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly



    Dear All,

    I'm bumping this important thread for new (and recently returned) members. There is much here that is extremely profound, thought-provoking and moving.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by avid (here)
    I have just had a terrible conversation with a best friend. This friend is going through "double grief" - the end of a parent who no longer recognises her, and the definitive end of her mother's death. She wishes it would all end soon. My friend feels terrible guilt, but we wish that there should be no suffering to any of our loved ones. I am trying to help my friend, as I lost 2 parents in one year, and was happy for my Mum who had a terrible quality of life - that was a blessing. But my friend is full of angst against the care home, the carers (who are paid pittances) and somehow offended the sensibilities of folk in the care home who should NOT be jollified in any circumstance! If you have issues against staff in care homes who are seemingly 'insensitive' - remember - these staff are on minimum wage, they have very little or no issues with the incumbents apart from keeping them alive and comfortable, they are trained to keep their patient positive at all times. They have little health background information on who or what their charges are there unless it's severe health disablement, or the ghastly memory problems...Bottom line - mostly the invaluable carers have no clue 'who' they are caring for, they treat everyone as they are paid to do, with love and care.
    http://www.cqc.org.uk/content/contact-us
    Care Quality Commission.
    If you have issues - contact your local authority immediately, and also the CQC in UK.

    You mentioned the guilt that your friend is experiencing regarding the illness of your friends mom because she wishes it would end. I remember feeling those same things about my dad. Yes, I wished it would end so he did not have to continue the spiral down to the end result of the disease. The really hard part for me, and it is hard to admit here, is that a part of me wanted it to end so that I would not have to endure it any longer. Alzheimer's is so depleting to everyone involved on so many levels, that at times I just did not want to do it any more. Admitting to myself that I was feeling this added another level of grief to the whole process. I wasn't the endlessly compassionate daughter I wanted to see myself as. I was weak and selfish to some degree and to this day I am not proud of it.

    I can take small comfort that I did my best for him, and in hindsight I wish I had done some things differently,but, I have come to accept my flaws and weaknesses and I have made peace with the situation.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by peterpam (here)
    .....You mentioned the guilt that your friend is experiencing regarding the illness of your friends mom because she wishes it would end. I remember feeling those same things about my dad. Yes, I wished it would end so he did not have to continue the spiral down to the end result of the disease. The really hard part for me, and it is hard to admit here, is that a part of me wanted it to end so that I would not have to endure it any longer. Alzheimer's is so depleting to everyone involved on so many levels, that at times I just did not want to do it any more. Admitting to myself that I was feeling this added another level of grief to the whole process. I wasn't the endlessly compassionate daughter I wanted to see myself as. I was weak and selfish to some degree and to this day I am not proud of it.

    I can take small comfort that I did my best for him, and in hindsight I wish I had done some things differently,but, I have come to accept my flaws and weaknesses and I have made peace with the situation.
    Now that I've experienced it from the helpless caretaker's perspective, I would not fault my child for wishing any helplessness with me would end if it ever came to that. I felt the same as you and frequently felt very guilty for prolonging my mom's misery and not figuring out some way to help her end it as she was begging for two years. Doing what was necessary every day to prolong her life felt like helping torture her when she was just deteriorating so slowly and could not in the least communicate any thoughts, discomforts or desires. I think there's a lot to be said for the fact that in 'civilized' society you no longer have the freedom to let nature take it's course like it would without the medical establishment's unnatural prolonging and prolonging against one's will.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Did anyone notice that a very easy and inexpensive treatment for Alzheimer dementia, even possibly a cure for it, is widely available? My thread about it here on this forum only garnered 6 replies.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?...ndha+alzheimer

    It seems like there must be karmic reasons why a lot of people need to experience various facets of this disease, either as patient or caregiver. Even within my own extended family I've encountered a total lack of interest in this simple herbal extract. Besides that, the research is very clear; yet so many people suffering with this situation don't take the time to google it.

    *
    *
    Last edited by LindyLou22; 21st February 2015 at 00:27. Reason: format

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I recently ordered a Neurophone (Neural Efficiency Optimizer} from Patrick Flannagan and wondered if it could help my partner's alzheimers. So I sent an email and got the following reply:
    "Thank you kindly for your email and for the interest in our product. The Neurophone could be of assistance for the condition you mentioned in your email. The Neurophone will enhance the memory and improve the neural connection, let us know how we can be of further assistance."
    For information on Patrick Flannagan go to http://www.phisciences.com/
    For information on the Neurophone go to http://www.newneurophone.com/

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    eaglespirit posted this vid on his thread "Am I Making Myself Perfectly Clear".

    It's a presentation on healing research by Dr. Bill Bengston. At the end of this presentation he says that he's gotten reports back from some people that this technique works on alzheimers.

    Worth checking out!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pryU2pKmJh4
    Last edited by Joe Sustaire; 27th February 2015 at 16:22.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I just watched a terrific documentary about the healing power of music for Alzheimer's sufferers that I wanted to share for anyone who hasn't already heard of it:

    http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Alive-I...?trkid=5966279

    Alive Inside: A Story of Music & Memory

    "This moving documentary follows social worker Dan Cohen as he uses music to unlock memory in nursing-home patients with Alzheimer's disease. Aided by well-known neurologist Oliver Sacks, Cohen aims to transform the quality of life for the afflicted."

    Bless all those sharers of personal stories that are so heart-wrenching and thanks to the contributors of alternative healing supplements. I informed my elderly parents-in-law of the benefits of coconut oil (and I decided to start consuming it myself too). My heart goes out to those whose lives are so profoundly affected by loved ones suffering dementia disease.


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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    A breakthrough from the University of Brisbane.

    12 March 2015
    Queensland scientists have found that non-invasive ultrasound technology can be used to treat Alzheimer’s disease and restore memory.
    Clem Jones Centre for Ageing Dementia Research director Professor Jürgen Götz said the new treatment method could revolutionise Alzheimer’s treatment by restoring memory.
    “We’re extremely excited by this innovation of treating Alzheimer’s without using drug therapeutics,” Professor Götz said.
    “The ultrasound waves oscillate tremendously quickly, activating microglial cells that digest and remove the amyloid plaques that destroy brain synapses.
    http://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/20...und-technology

    If anyone is interested in trying similar technology they should try Dr. Patrick Flanagan's new Neurophone which will become available in June this year. See the following link for more details.
    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/n...zer-neurophone
    I wrote an email to Patrick and this was his reply:
    "The Neurophone could be of assistance for the condition you mentioned in your email. The Neurophone will enhance the memory and improve the neural connection"

    Patrick's Neurophone may not be the answer, but I am willing to give it a try to see if it works as it also uses ultrasonic waves to soothe and centre your mind.
    Last edited by ks4ever; 19th March 2015 at 02:08.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I have lost track of what's been posted on this thread and apologize in advance if this has already been posted:

    Turmeric boosts working memory in one small dose

    Sayer Ji
    GreenMedInfo.com Thu, 30 Apr 2015 12:39 UTC


    One small dose of turmeric powder was found to improve working memory in pre-diabetic patients.



    Interest in turmeric as a tonic and regenerative agent for brain conditions is growing rapidly. Given the increased prevalence of neurodegenerative conditions such as Alzheimer's disease, as well as an alarming uptick in brain cancer and the cognitively impairing metabolic dysregulations associated with type 2 diabetes.

    Turmeric and its primary polyphenol curcumin hold great promise as an alternative to pharmaceuticals, none of which have been shown to address nor resolve the root causes of disease.

    A recent study published in the Asia Pacific Journal of Clinical Nutrition titled, "Turmeric improves post-prandial working memory in pre-diabetes independent of insulin", reveals the unique therapeutic profile of this ancient Indian spice in preventing cognitive impairment linked to pre-diabetes and dementia.

    The study enrolled 48 60-year olds with newly recognized yet untreated pre-diabetes. They were randomized to receive either a placebo, turmeric (1,000 mg), cinnamon (2,000 mg) or both (1,000 mg & 2,000 mg respectively), ingested at a white bread (119 g) breakfast.

    The researchers observed the participants' metabolic responses over a 6 hour period for the following parameters:
    · Pre- and post-working memory (WM),

    · Glycemic and insulin responses

    · Biomarkers of Alzheimer's disease (AD)(measured at 0, 2, 4 and 6 hours):
    o amyloid precursor protein (APP),

    o γ-secretase subunits presenilin-1 (PS1),

    o presenilin-2 (PS2),

    o glycogen synthase kinase (GSK-3β).

    The study results were reported as follows:
    Quote "We found that a modest addition of 1 g turmeric to a rather nutritionally-bland breakfast of white bread improved working memory (WM) over 6 hours in older people with pre-diabetes. This was not the case for 2 g cinnamon."
    Moreover, they observed that body fatness and insulin resistance modulated the effect that turmeric had on improving working memory, "suggesting that the benefits of turmeric might be enhanced where these characteristics were less abnormal."

    While the study found the Alzheimer's biomarkers "showed active correlations among themselves during the 6 hour study, these did not account for the link between turmeric and WM." In other words, the researchers surmised that while the spice components access and modulate traditional Alzheimer's biomarker pathways, no definitive mechanisms of action explaining how they affect working memory could be discerned in the study.

    Interestingly, the study intentionally selected whole turmeric powder instead of extracts of curcuminoids, as is normally the case, in order to simulate real-world culinary exposure to the spice:
    Quote "We deliberately used whole turmeric rather than curcuminoids or turmeric extracts. We wanted to examine the commodity used in daily life and with which there are generations of experience and presumptive safety across Asian food cultures - south, north-east and south-east Asia, albeit in a range of cuisines. The amounts used were also within the usual household range."
    This study adds to a growing body of literature showing that turmeric/curcumin is both an excellent intervention for pre-diabetic patients (with up to a 100% prevention rate, according to a Diabetes Care study published two years ago), as well as anti-dementia agent, as evaluated in greater detail in previous reports we have done on the subject:
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by craig mitchell (here)
    Now, a year later we are engaged in a distressing and expensive law suit in an effort to set this wrong to rights. All the manipulations by my brother are now being brought to light, by our fortunately honest and hard working lawyer, have been shocking and disgusting. Save yourself this additional pain by having transparency about the estate, and copies of the will to all parties. Maintain a watch on any activity or change in all of this.
    Quick update: After fourteen months of litigation, depositions, expense, and greif, my sister and I managed to force my (ex) brother into an out-of-court settlement. The division was still largely in his favor but we said a loud and, to him, painfulNO! Please people, remember that it's hard to pry from unwilling hands what has already been stolen.....so again, transparency and copies of the will to everyone. There's no substitute for taking responsibility for all you're involved in. (willingly or not)

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by earthdreamer (here)
    I just watched a terrific documentary about the healing power of music for Alzheimer's sufferers that I wanted to share for anyone who hasn't already heard of it:

    http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Alive-I...?trkid=5966279

    Alive Inside: A Story of Music & Memory

    "This moving documentary follows social worker Dan Cohen as he uses music to unlock memory in nursing-home patients with Alzheimer's disease. Aided by well-known neurologist Oliver Sacks, Cohen aims to transform the quality of life for the afflicted."

    Bless all those sharers of personal stories that are so heart-wrenching and thanks to the contributors of alternative healing supplements. I informed my elderly parents-in-law of the benefits of coconut oil (and I decided to start consuming it myself too). My heart goes out to those whose lives are so profoundly affected by loved ones suffering dementia disease.


    I've been watching this very moving documantry yesterday, also mentioned by Robin on this post and thought about Joe sustaire, Billy and everyone who shared their own encounter with the disease of their loved ones, sometimes on a painfully close daily basis, bless you all.

    You are absolutely right, earthdreamer, this is a most heart touching, full of humaness, hopeful but challenging representaion of the human soul of Altzheimer patients via close observence of the small nuances of both the person and the family and the great relief that the music brings in moments of sheer happiness where the memories start to flood

    Authentic and inspiring documentation.
    Touching ~

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    thank you all for sharing such moving experiences.
    My uncle has Alzheimer's and is now in a clinic waiting for a place in a care home to become available.
    My auntie tried her best for long enough and it was wearing her out so with a heavy heart she decided it
    was for the best.

    he has no idea who any of us are any more but every now and again he looks at my father who is his brother and says his name
    then its gone again.
    Now my dad is starting to show signs as he is getting very forgetful and cannot remember names.
    he is worried about it himself and has been to get tested and we are waiting for the results

    He is a diabetic and had major heart surgery three years ago and the amount of pills he has to take is ridiculous
    I often think it is the so called side effects of these pills that are bringing on his memory loss but I am no expert
    Thank you all once again for sharing your experience's .

  34. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to sleepydumpling For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th May 2015), craig mitchell (17th May 2015), Limor Wolf (18th May 2015), sandy (18th May 2015), Verdilac (4th September 2015)

  35. Link to Post #98
    Avalon Member Verdilac's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by sleepydumpling (here)
    thank you all for sharing such moving experiences.
    My uncle has Alzheimer's and is now in a clinic waiting for a place in a care home to become available.
    My auntie tried her best for long enough and it was wearing her out so with a heavy heart she decided it
    was for the best.

    he has no idea who any of us are any more but every now and again he looks at my father who is his brother and says his name
    then its gone again.
    Now my dad is starting to show signs as he is getting very forgetful and cannot remember names.
    he is worried about it himself and has been to get tested and we are waiting for the results

    He is a diabetic and had major heart surgery three years ago and the amount of pills he has to take is ridiculous
    I often think it is the so called side effects of these pills that are bringing on his memory loss but I am no expert
    Thank you all once again for sharing your experience's .
    I can see your post is a few months old but My heart goes out to you after what must have been a very difficult time & still will be, I really hope everyone is coping ok .
    Many on here have had to make the same decision as your Auntie has, and its undescribably difficult to do, its a decision that is hard to live with but when you end up mentally & physically exhausted from caring 24/7 there sometimes is no option unless you have a very large family that can share the responsibility, but even then its still very very hard.

    Keep your chin up with regards your father, go & see his doctor and fight his corner if you think his medication is having negative effects on his memory, as you only get 1 Father, its better to try and do something than have regrets.
    Last edited by Verdilac; 5th September 2015 at 23:52.

  36. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Verdilac For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th September 2015), craig mitchell (4th September 2015), sandy (4th September 2015)

  37. Link to Post #99
    Australia Moderator Constance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Bumping. For all those who are affected in some way by Alzheimers
    Last edited by Constance; 19th January 2019 at 23:40.

  38. The Following User Says Thank You to Constance For This Post:

    Hym (17th January 2019)

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