Are you unhappier now since your "awakening"?

[ulli]

Awakening is a process, and a never-ending one at that.
Wake-up calls are shocks, or alarms.
The state of sleep returns when all is well, and life runs smoothly.
But since no one can live without rest periods one needs to see sleepy sheeple in the light of one's own projections.
Because a few hours from now I might be fast asleep again, while the sheeple are active and saving the world better than I could.
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed with the stuff that is coming to light and shocking me to the core I take a little break.
And it was the rhythmic nature of my own consciousness which really opened my eyes to the higher reality, that where MY focus goes the universe responded with more of the same.
And that is why I now take full responsibility for whatever happens to me, as I did somehow cause it with the unevolved or immature side of my being.
And it is that immaturity which drives my curiosity to seek out more of what's in the great unknown.

But the overall answer is happiness.
What is there not to be happy about? This is a wondrous universe where no solid form lasts and yet the spirit side of the self, which is furthermore connected to everything else that's out there in spirit form continues forever and ever.

[Twig]

I have always felt that i don't belong here, never knew why i felt this way. Spent most of my life "saying it as i see it" and that doesn't appeal to many people. Lost many a friend and the ones that, on the rare occasion visit, laugh at what i have to say.

When I woke up I couldn't peel myself away from the net. I spent months and months reading..first i'd get shocked, then overwhelmed, then angry, then a combo of helplessness and anger combined. The amount of lies..then it would hit me that my folks had been lied to, which in turn had them lie to me and then me to my children...That was and is like someone has stuck a hot poker were the sun don't shine.

I trust nothing and no-one. Waking up has changed my life so much and it's not all for the good. After spending some years taking my folks in and out of hospitals and doctors surgerys ive seen that after 40 you are nothing more than an experiment. Scripts are handed out for kickbacks nothing more. The fact that my kids and I breath, eat and drink crap everyday has got me looking at food and not really wanting to eat. When you buy tomato's and the one still left in your fridge a month later looks like it just got freshly plucked off a plant makes me ropeable for days...I'm still talking about it.

I have to convince myself to get up and away from the computer so as not to give myself migraines with what i read or hear.
What saddens me the most, when it all comes to a head is what do we have to protect ourselves with..Nothing, oh, maybe the salad fork.
I'm looking to purchase property, so many beautiful places to buy but I steer away from those..all due to my awakening.

There are times when (as my niece said) why even bother watering the lawn, why bother with anything that we usually do on a daily basis OR use to do. What is the point when we are being bombarded from all sides.
I have tried to let it go and tell myself just live as though none of it is going on but thats an impossibility. Everything i read, see or hear has now become questionable.... sigh

[Hawkwind]

Twig- becoming aware of darkness is a necessary part of waking up. Getting swallowed by it is optional.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=vE8mFDabqD0

The point isn't to ignore the darkness, but neither is allowing oneself to be seduced by it to the point of ignoring the light. Stepping away from the computer before giving yourself migraines is definitely a step in the right direction. May I also suggest finding reasons to laugh, dance and whatever other forms of making love tend to make you glad to be alive.

[Sean]

Posted by awakeningmom (here)
Hello,

As my chosen user name indicates, I tend to see myself as being in some (early) stage of “awakening” at this point in my life. I realize “awakening” is a highly subjective and potentially offensive term to some (as in, I’m awake and YOU are sleeping). But for me, it simply means that my view of reality has been challenged, destroyed, and expanded on several fronts – political, historical, financial, spiritual. This awakening process is still in its infancy for me -- it’s been less than two years -- and I’ve spent the better part of these last two years reading voraciously, watching documentaries, attending consciousness/conspiracy conferences, participating on this forum, etc – probably all in an attempt to discover some elusive truth about who we are, who I am, and ultimately how to help humanity escape from what seems to be an ever-increasing and intentionally constructed nightmare.

Unfortunately, at times I feel overwhelmed by all this new found information/knowledge – and sometimes think that I was much happier before I begun this awakening process. Before, I had a comfortable life, a normal family, a satisfying career, and good friends who I thought were open-minded and curious. I voted down-the-line democrat, held (largely liberal) opinions of the world, and thought the world was messed up in places, but that we were still in the best country in the world…..

Fast forward almost two years later, and that (blissfully naïve) life seems forever irretrievable. I’ve lost some friends (not all) over my radical change, and I often feel so depressed/overwhelmed about just how awful the world is. I don’t trust my government anymore, I don’t trust any “leaders” (even in the alternative field), I don’t even trust doctors or the medical community. Instead, I worry about toxic vaccines, chemtrails, psychotropic medications, fluoridated water, GMO’s, false flags, intentional genocide, extreme wealth disparity – not to mention the NWO and its possible agenda, which is possibility aided/instigated by off-world negative entities? It’s so much to take in.

While I try to do my small part in trying to change some of the things that concern me now (mostly in the health related arenas), I can’t help but feel somewhat helpless in the face of so many problems and with the understanding that all of this could be a concerted effort to eliminate much of humanity. This depression and feeling of helplessness is deepened whenever I’ve tried to discuss such topics with close friends and family, who not only resist hearing the information but who often make jokes about my being a “conspiracy theorist” now.

I don’t mean to unload here, and I'm sure others have already gone down this road many times before, but sometimes I wonder what the point of my “awakening” was. Part of my reason for questioning this is because I have often felt guided by something, and I guess a part of me feels like this “awakening” was supposed to happen to me—i.e., that I was lead to the information at precisely the right time in my life. But it certainly doesn’t feel good a lot of the time and I don’t even know what I can do about the darker aspects of the world on any meaningful scale anyway (is trying to tell a few people enough? ) Yes, in many ways, the world has become a much more interesting place for me, but it’s a much darker place than I imagined.

So a few questions for the forum:

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually?

I would love to hear others' experiences and thoughts....

for me, it was 9/11. as someone who grew up in NYC, and someone who had been in the buildings numerous times..I knew the story were were being told about it was horse****. found my way to alternative news sites, the usual suspects..and that led to my soul awakening also. I started having dream state experiences..and I knew that the reality I had accepted until then was an illusion.

It certainly has led to some unhappy experiences. I've lost many friends.(maybe they weren't friends anyway). I no longer drink the kool-aid, so..EVERYTHING is harder. relationships, etc..I mean how can I date a woman who still thinks 9/11 was a bunch of muslims with boxcutters, highjacking 747's when they could barely fly a cessna, and achieve that over the most heavily defended airspace in the history of the world without being intercepted by fighter aircraft? AND fly those 747's with expert precision? does anyone have ANY IDEA how hard it is to do that? AND made skyscrapers fall in their own footprint at freefall speed? that's the story we're expected to believe.

It's the biggest bull**** story in human history, this side of the "the earth was created in 7 days".

9/11 is my "IQ test" for people. If you can't at least question it..I can't **** with you.

Any event in the media I immediately ask "cui bono"? I question everything and accept nothing at face value. If you're a sheep,which most people are, I look crazy to you. so, yes, awakening is a lonely path.

but I'd rather live in truth alone, than live in lies with others.

[Aspen]

1. What, in your opinion, is the point of “awakening,” (whether yourself or humanity in general) particularly to the darker reality of this world? Is it to get involved, to go inward (i.e, to simply work on yourself), to raise your consciousness? To realize reality is an illusion? To change reality?

I don't know, but I would rather be awake than asleep. I have always wanted to live a meaningful life and to help others. I think being awake is a better tool for those objectives, than being asleep. When I first awoke I was voraciously reading everything and anything connected to conspiracies. It was exciting and it made me feel alive, like a rebel However, much like yourself I also found it deeply disturbing, often scary and sometimes very confusing. I quickly discovered that there was a lot of disinfo. Some things were blatantly lies and easy to pick out. After several months or maybe a year I learned that the best disinfo was the type that was a mixture of truth and lies. More recently, after about 15 years of awakening, I increasingly have the feeling that truth is almost impossible to find. Even the things that are 95% true can lead you in the wrong direction.

I think looking at tons of conspiracy stuff has not been a waste of time. I think it has trained me to recognize the truth more easily, discard the lies more quickly. I like the analogy of a diamond expert: they learn to recognize fake diamonds and poor quality diamonds by looking at many of them.


2. If you consider yourself to be in the process of “awakening,” how have you experienced this awakening? Have you had major doubts about the process along the way -- or wish you hadn’t gone along the path for various reasons? Have your feelings about this process evolved, and if so, how?

I have felt confident about the journey all along. But I have had times when I get frustrated, depressed or very worried. But, like others have mentioned, you learn to live with the truth and to find a new balance in your life with this knowledge. Milestones for me in this process of being okay with it:
a. being gentle with yourself. Its okay to take a break. If you burn out or commit suicide you can't help others anymore! I have learned that good self care, learning that it is not selfish to take care of yourself, learning to take breaks, not feeling guilty about numbing out when needed, connecting with nature and other like minded people has been very helpful.

b. focusing on the positive, cherish your freedom ("Die Gedanken sind frei" is a German saying my parents taught me). Cherish your family, pursue hobbies, develop your strengths, and if you are obsessed with studying conspiracy spend some time looking at the positive stuff. For example I am thankful for Benjamin Fulford even if I don't know if anything he says is true. It is just not healthy for any of us to be emotionally living in fear all the time, so I appreciate his rose coloured glasses view of reality. It is a proven thing that the more relaxed you are the better you learn, your creativity is improved and you can find solutions. I have stopped listening to Alex Jones years ago because I cannot take his fear mongering tone. In German there is a saying "der tone macht die music." So even though he often has cool guests and useful information the overall message I get from his site is "be afraid, BE AFRAID and ANGRY! BE VERY AFRAID!" SO I avoid his site the same way I avoid listening to the mainstream media or TV in general. I am thankful there are other alternative sites to listen to. In general I try to make a wide berth around fear porn. It is part of setting healthy boundaries for myself so I can retain sanity and health.
Lately I have been studying Laura Eisenhower because she has a wider view. Sometimes standing back and looking at the big picture gives us more objectivity. She has studied ancient myths and knowledge like that promoted by the Gnostics to try to make sense of how far back the human oppression goes. Sometimes looking at the big picture helps us to be better able to tolerate the misery and pain we are exposed to. She also teaches something to the effect that we are connected to the spiritual core of the planet and can change the destiny of the planet by being conscious and connected to it. It gives me hope, although I am suspicious of the New Age spiritual movement and believe much of it is simply another false religion designed to prevent us from awakening too much.

c. Don't be a Messiah. Sometimes ego ( or I don't know what!)gets in our way and we try to do it all, rescue the world, and develop an obsessive need to sacrifice ourselves in the process. This is unhealthy! That just doesn't work, its everyone's job to throw off oppression where they see it, safety in numbers. I like to say the Mantra while breathing in "I am sovereign" and then when breathing out "we are sovereign." (this is from James Mahu and what he teaches int he WIngmakers) I like what Simon Parkes said lately about calm confrontation. We can be involved with lifting the oppression on the planet but in a detached manner. I am talking about spiritual detachment.

d, Consciously changing practises in physical health, mental health, emotional health. I try to make changes gradually and not be too hard on myself. Like walking instead of running, art parties, getting together with neighbours instead of committing to social cause groups like a I used to, reducing coffee consumption, reducing sugar intake, leaving time between clients to recover, using herbal supplements, eating more veggies, etc. Lately I have been focusing a bit more on the spiritual (which I had given up on for a long time because of spiritual abuse) in the form of meditation and mindfulness practises and just being with all my relations on earth in a way grounded on unconditional love and respect.

3. If you consider yourself awakened/in the process of awakening, what do you do each day to honor your own awakening? Do you give it significance? Do you try to inform others in some way, are you active in causes that battle against certain agendas, or do you go within and develop yourself spiritually? I simplify my life, moved out to the country, spend time with people I love. I intentionally chose to pursue a career in counselling to help people heal from trauma and the intergenerational effects of trauma Even though I largely work with people one on one I am hoping for a ripple effect! As others have mentioned, I have also found it helpful to develop intuition and use it to guide decision making. I have been experimenting with pendulums and I have paid attention to guidance in the form of synchronicities and dreams for decades. I try not to take myself too seriously (humour) but do share information in a form that I hope is palatable to others on facebook and in person when people seem open and curious. I used to be involved in left wing politics, but have largely given that up as it was using up too much time and energy. It was too draining! However I sometimes participate in online petitions or smaller events when I feel led to. For example I really enjoyed every moment of participating in a Healing Walk at the Alberta Tar Sands.

[Dawn]

Congratulations on your deep healing process. As you go deeper into awakening you will find that most of what you now feel is not coming from you. This truth will continue to grow the more you awaken. Our circuits and connection to the life all around us strengthen during awakening. This seems to be a function of not blocking out the truth... so we begin to let it in. But the truth has many layers, and the more blocks you remove the more you will continue to find deeper truths. And.... the more you will directly connect with all of life... and so on.

So... this earth has a LOT of suffering going on right now. Wars, famine, desertification, victimization, power struggles, etc are everywhere. These are not just physical facts, they are energetic facts. As your energy becomes interconnected with all of life you will directly experience the pain and suffering which has been all around you during your entire life. Do you think you can 'go back' or close off now? Good luck! Once this process begins it is ever expanding.

I am going to tell a story here.
.....What if... A life form from another galaxy had become ill and unbalanced.
.....What if we knew their pain, for we could feel them coming from far away (since we are connected to all life).
.....What if we knew they were coming into our galaxy bringing the illness they had here?
.....What if we created a lovely solar system right on the edge of our galaxy that was so beautiful that we knew we could draw them there and heal them while the remainder of our galaxy remained healthy?
.....maybe...In order to protect our own galaxy from their disease we planned to allow them to combine intimately with us. We were willing to take on their illness... because we knew we could heal ourselves... and since they had combined their DNA with ours we would heal them at the same time. (there is a wonderful movie called 'Resurrection' which demonstrates our abilities in this way)
.....Every time one of us awakens we heal ourselves, and we actually contain their DNA, so we heal them at the same time
.....What if your feelings are actually telling you about a great illness which is beginning to heal in a very deep way

What if you simply feel the pain on the planet because you finally stopped blocking it out and pretending it is not there?

You are amazing... just look at your courage and willingness to take it all on by seeing it for what it is, and by being willing to feel the pain all around you.

You are amazing

[Alpha141]

Hi all,

This video re the self climb to understanding our reality speaks to me at many levels regarding this deep self assessment at present. So i offer it to you all also:

Michael Tsarion - The Transmission of Truth Does Not Work to Time - The Climb to Selfhood

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-2JCgat-B2s

I would rather be awake and uncomfortable. Psychically beaten up than* not in control of my own destiny

Goodluck all

[crosby]

Hi Alpha141, I agree. I am much happier being awake and uncomfortable than sleeping in the shadows and perpetuating some myth of happiness. I'm not saying I'm not scared, but - - Knowledge IS power - take another bite of the apple everyone. Shake it up a bit and make some applesauce - that's always fun!!!!
warmest,
crosby

[Wind]

Am I "happier"? Well... No. Am I more aware and have attained more serenity and acceptance through that? I would say yes! Although if I start to think too deeply about the current political climate for example, I certainly won't feel so great. Detachment is the key, but not always so easy because we easily get involved in things. It's just part of our condition. I have learned that emotions like thoughts come and go. I try to appreciate life as it is, but I'm nowehere near perfect although I try to be. I have a mind which is worrisome at times due to my extremely aware nature, but I know that I'm not the mind. Life is not permanent, nothing is permanent so why really worry? We may die tomorrow so why not live peacefully today, why sacrifice our peace of mind for nothing?

Sometimes I think that it would be for the best if I got totally offline from internet and this mad western world and would live in some isolated monastery as a monk, but I think that would work only for a while. Curiosity would once again get me back to the so called civilized society, despite my hermit nature. In the end, humans always seem to seek conncetion and won't thrive without it.

As for now, I'm a dreamer awake in a dream which we imagine to be real.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=wU0PYcCsL6o

[jackovesk]

((Yes & No)) Can't really put it into words, perhaps this 'Clip' will surmise..

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=puCuomrwas0

[Violet]

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Px_Ua27nIdY

Some people describe feelings such as presented in this video.

[joeecho]

Posted by Innocent Warrior (here)
When I ask these questions, I see an image.

Darkness to the left, light to the right.

This reminds me of another image....

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q

In the awakening process and being awake I have realized that the spiritual message of the journey is everywhere. Even in the most profane of places.

("Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, Here I am, stuck in the middle with you")

My apparent self is off center but that is but an observable illusion.

[Wind]

That is way too funny, Joe. Just a minute ago I was listening to that song!

[joeecho]

Posted by Wind (here)
That is way too funny, Joe. Just a minute ago I was listening to that song!

That is delicious!!

[ulli]

You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

[eaglespirit]

Ridin' the Waves : )


Transfiguration:
http://www.energeticsynthesis.com/in...ransfiguration

[joeecho]

Posted by ulli (here)
You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

Damn you AI. Damn you to hell! LOL

[ulli]

Here is a major chance for the multitudes to awaken, (which should make the rest of us "awake and aware" even happier)

http://news.yahoo.com/outgoing-obama...BUXeQAF0jBGOd_


Obama adviser John Podesta's biggest regret: Keeping America in dark about UFOs

[Wind]

Posted by ulli (here)
You're both being controlled by the same AI.....

Well, I'll just have to say that AI has a really good taste in music!

[Jules]

Or synchronicity. lol