Injustice!!

[Mini Flash]

The objectif of this thread is to complain about what ever ''injustice'' had been done to us. So let your stupid little complains out on this thread I will start first...

I am French speaking and I had to write a text in the class ''English as a second language''. I put so much effort in this text and I thought it was extraordinairy. Even Flash, my mother, thought the text was excellent! Here is the text:

keeping unhealthy food away

''Nowadays, people are obsessed by having a good image. This is why people make personal choices like diets. Most of us can agree that the best diet is eating healthy. This brings me to today’s question which is the following: Should the government ban restaurants from serving unhealthy food? I personally think that this is a wonderful idea.

Firstly, banning unhealthy food in restaurants can help to spread our money equally. Approximatively, more than half of the food in the whole world is sold by rich companies who sell unhealthy cheap food. For example, Monsanto is a huge company that modifies genetically their fruits, vegetables, dairy products, cereals and meat. Genetically modifying food is dangerous for health but it saves a lot of money because the chemicals in this kind of food kill insects. So food in restaurants is often bought from Monsanto because it is cheaper. This case happens with many rich food companies including Kraft food (a brand that you can easily find in any grocery store in North of America). All these companies make billions of dollars every year and they are selling unhealthy and even life threatening foods. If the government bans unhealthy food in restaurants, the food industry will buy organic healthy food in small farms. These small farms are owned by families who struggle to make money. Basically, banning this type of food industry will help poor families earn enough money instead of feeding the rich like we do every day.

Secondly, banning unhealthy food in restaurants will encourage citizens to eat healthier. This will make a wonderful impact on our everyday lives. Not only unhealthy food increases obesity risks, it also increases ADHD, ADD, diabetes, cancer, skin problems, pregnancy problems, depression, anxiety and many more. Why is there an increasing number of people dealing with depression, ADHD, autism and many other handicaps? I personally think that eating unhealthy food on a daily basis is part of the answer to this question. Banning unhealthy food in restaurants will encourage people to do healthy choices. If we are healthy, we are better learners, happier and in a better physical condition. This will create an educated, happy, talented and intelligent population. To sum up, banning unhealthy food in restaurants would be a big favor for our society.

In conclusion, I think the government should ban unhealthy food in restaurants. It will help small poor farms instead of helping big companies who are billionaires. It will also create better citizens for our country and our future. Think about it. Do we really want to stay weak and poor?

I was certain to have a very good grade. But i barely passed! I got 100% in the ''grammar'' and ''sentence structure'' section, but i got 0% in the ''pertinence of the text'' section.. How can my text not be pertinent? The teacher explained that she asked for an opinion text and i wrote an argumentative text because my opinion was based of scientifique research. Sorry if I don't base my opinion on nothing!

What about you guys? Anything happened to you?
Ps: YEAH! My first thread!

[Michelle Marie]

I think it's a great idea. It IS an opinion. I'm a teacher, too, and I give you an A!!

In addition, the restaurants could provide information about foods and their specific benefits. They could (and some do) provide information about the effects of GMO food. I love your idea and your paper,too.

I don't have any complaints right now. I'm actively watching what I put my attention on, and I'm focusing on the wide-scale implementation of solutions.

Lotsa love,
Michelle Marie

[Flash]

Mini Flash brand new and first thread is showing up on and off on her computer. When she refreshes her screen or relog, most of the time it has disappeared. And then, all of a sudden, it reappears on a next refresher or log on.

Injustice: either she is banned from seeing her own thread lollllllll, or Aliens / NSA are at it lollllllllllllllll

Me too I would have put her an A for that homework.

Injustice: not to be given the time to be trained on a new job, when all other hires are from the Inside of the company, while i was an outsider, most are lawyers while I am not, and be told I am not fast enough while being put on quota and stressed on a weekly basis right after the first month of training.

I lost the job and my take is that the Young supervisor did not want me, whatever would have happened and it was very easy to make someone feel uneasy in a job completely focused on détails and legal knowledge.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Mini Flash (here)
The objectif of this thread is to complain about what ever ''injustice'' had been done to us. So let your stupid little complains out on this thread I will start first...

I am French speaking and I had to write a text in the class ''English as a second language''. I put so much effort in this text and I thought it was extraordinairy. Even Flash, my mother, thought the text was excellent! Here is the text:

What about you guys? Anything happened to you?
Ps: YEAH! My first thread!

Hi Mini Flash,

I'm aware that you didn't ask for feed back but I wanted to pass along a kudos for your first thread. A second kudos for what you wrote plus one suggestion.

If you ask me…

I vote high marks for:

• use of transition words and phrases
• informative piece
• detailed information
• high level concepts
• solution to assist humanity

You’ve introduced a topic that’s new to many. I’d opt to break the first paragraph into several. It’s better for your reader to take it in small bites. (Pun intended. Chew your food before you swallow. LOL)

In the first paragraph, you’ve touched on:

• spread our money equally
• Monsanto genetically modifies the food
• buy organic healthy food in small farms
• banning GMO’s help poor farm families earn money selling crops
• banning GMO helps society as a whole

All this written in English as a second language. Well done, Mini Flash!

Hearts,
RunningDeer

[RunningDeer]

I was not allowed to teach Tai Chi/Chi Kung mediative movements to the students, but got the okay to teach the fighting techniques.
“Why?” I inquired.
The born again christian principal responded, “Tai Chi is an occult.”
“Say what?”
“It’s mind altering. Which means it’s an occult,” replied the principal.

Solution: (Shhhh!) I renamed it inhale-exhale relaxation. The students asked to use it before their tests.

<3

[Bill Ryan]

-------

GREAT thread.

Some of you have heard this story before. But it belongs here!

When I was 8 (just eight) years old, our class teacher wanted us to write a little story. All the other kids wrote about their new puppy dog, or where they went on vacation. But young Bill Ryan, though he was only tiny, wanted to write about GHOSTS AND FLYING SAUCERS.

My teacher wouldn't let me. INJUSTICE !!

(But I did kind of get my own back many years later.... )

[LivioRazlo]

Bill, you remind me of myself in grade school! I remember winning many Young Author Conferences due to my ability to be very imaginative.

[Mini Flash]

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
-------

GREAT thread.

Some of you have heard this story before. But it belongs here!

When I was 8 (just eight) years old, our class teacher wanted us to write a little story. All the other kids wrote about their new puppy dog, or where they went on vacation. But young Bill Ryan, though he was only tiny, wanted to write about GHOSTS AND FLYING SAUCERS.

My teacher wouldn't let me. INJUSTICE !!

(But I did kind of get my own back many years later.... )

Well you seem to be the ''not normal'' kid... Welcome aboard

[Mini Flash]

Posted by RunningDeer (here)

Posted by Mini Flash (here)
The objectif of this thread is to complain about what ever ''injustice'' had been done to us. So let your stupid little complains out on this thread I will start first...

I am French speaking and I had to write a text in the class ''English as a second language''. I put so much effort in this text and I thought it was extraordinairy. Even Flash, my mother, thought the text was excellent! Here is the text:

What about you guys? Anything happened to you?
Ps: YEAH! My first thread!

Hi Mini Flash,

I'm aware that you didn't ask for feed back but I wanted to pass along a kudos for your first thread. A second kudos for what you wrote plus one suggestion.

If you ask me…

I vote high marks for:

• use of transition words and phrases
• informative piece
• detailed information
• high level concepts
• solution to assist humanity

You’ve introduced a topic that’s new to many. I’d opt to break the first paragraph into several. It’s better for your reader to take it in small bites. (Pun intended. Chew your food before you swallow. LOL)

In the first paragraph, you’ve touched on:

• spread our money equally
• Monsanto genetically modifies the food
• buy organic healthy food in small farms
• banning GMO’s help poor farm families earn money selling crops
• banning GMO helps society as a whole

All this written in English as a second language. Well done, Mini Flash!

Hearts,
RunningDeer

I got to admit I didn't choose the topic the teacher gave us 3 topics to choose with examples of arguments.. The arguments showed about this topic were ''I have the right to eat junk food if I want'' or ''I want to be healthy so that's why I think we should ban junk food in restaurents''. Not very profound thinking.. So I decided to take that topic and use well thought arguments.
The next text.. I forced myself to think of boring and obvious arguments.. I thought my text looked stupid.. But I got an A lol

I also agree with what you are saying about the separation of the text. But I can't do that or else I would fail in the cathegory ''Text structure''.. We have a text structure to respect.

All of this brings me to......... Schools who make you learn things just to spit it out on an exam! Schools these days don't teach us to question and learn.. Injustice!

[Tangri]

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
-------

GREAT thread.

Some of you have heard this story before. But it belongs here!

When I was 8 (just eight) years old, our class teacher wanted us to write a little story. All the other kids wrote about their new puppy dog, or where they went on vacation. But young Bill Ryan, though he was only tiny, wanted to write about GHOSTS AND FLYING SAUCERS.

My teacher wouldn't let me. INJUSTICE !!

(But I did kind of get my own back many years later.... )

When I was at the high school, in physics class I propose the built up low frequency diapasons to kill mosquitoes My teacher refused the idea that those diapasons would not to fit on the box . 20 years later someone did it, as a consumer production.

We do not have to be agree with our teachers unless they become a mentor.

Do not worry Mini Flash, you will find your own play ground which you can use your freewill, later in your learning path.

[AriG]

When I was a mere eight years old and living with my mother and father in Denver, we received news that my grandfather was to undergo kidney removal in Covington, KY. He was quite elderly at the time, as my mother was a menopause surprise. My mother, my sister (aged 5) and I boarded a plane to CVG. Once arrived, we were boarded with a Great Aunt in a three room cottage. We spent one month overseeing the the kidney removal and subsequent recovery.

About three weeks into the fiasco, my father telephoned my mother to announce that we were not to come home. He enjoyed his privacy and his peace and quiet. Time would tell that he was involved with a waitress from the country club. My sister and I witnessed my mother's sobs from the vantage point of Aunt Ruby's mud room on a steamy July day in the Ohio Valley. No more mountain air, no more family, no more belonging and feeling safe. Life became precarious that day and continues to this day.

But we were not safe. Nine months prior, my sister and I boarded a funny plane in the Greater Denver foothills. Life was never the same. Days later, we emerged from this plane. My father was waiting for us. We went home and Mom had lunch on the table. I recall her asking how our trip to the car wash had been. Days had passed. We were famished. I recall a deep sleep, a troubled sleep and then abandonment.

Twelve months later, we were sent to visit our paternal grandmother in Knoxville. It was Easter. My father met us at the airport and introduced us to his new wife. The same country club waitress from Denver. She was tall and scary and dark. She was not human. She hated us on every level.

One year later, country club waitress and our father had moved to San Diego. We were sent to visit. She took us to the rocky beaches and laughed as we almost drowned in the waves.

Once back at their home, we were forced to scrub all the floors with ammonia, as she poured ammonia over our heads. We barely survived the ordeal.

This is no Cinderall story. There was no ball. No prince charming. Two years later, Mother marries a Nazi. And the saga continued......

[mosquito]

I'm as ESL teacher and haven't seen anything so well written in a long time ! To say that your text is argumentative rather than being an opinion and to give you 0% is, in my view, just a case of the teacher trying to show who's boss, which I think is pathetic. I used to regularly teach IELTS (the international English examination system) classes and although the criteria and objectives are different, I estimate that your piece would probably earn you a grade 8 or 8.5 (out of 9). (Anyone wishing to challenge me on that, I'll be more than happy to justify my reasoning). To show you what you could do with this teacher in the future, here's my example of injustice (one out of many !) ....

I was 16 and had failed my Human Biology O' level. I'd also failed everything else, but this was my favourite subject and I should have passed easily. So I registered to resit in November, and had to attend classes until the time of the exam. The school had a new teacher who'd come from a private all-girls school, and she DID NOT like me. She never ceased to put me down and make it clear that (as a male from a single-parent family) I was far far below the standard of pupil she believed she should be blessed with. It was hell. There was one homework assignment where we were asked to describe two physiological processes, and I submitted my perfectly answer in a couple of paragraphs. She told me the answer was too long ! So .... a couple of weeks later, she gave me a perfect opportunity to get back at her, setting a homework question beginning with the words "Do you think that ...." (I can't remember the details). So I carefully and neatly wrote out the headings in the format required, and then simply wrote "Yes". She made no comment, but attempted to get my sixth form master to withdraw me from the exam. I insisted I be allowed to take it and got a grade 2 (Equivalent to an A nowadays).

So, if your teacher wants an opinion - all you need to do is write a maximum of two sentences !

[Limor Wolf]

Originally posted by Mini Flash: "The objectif of this thread is to complain about what ever ''injustice'' had been done to us"

I would do that, but my pitiful stupid little complaints are in cosmic abundance and at length !!

So here is a small and a relevant one - There were a very few short months when I gladly joined to do the mod duty on this forum. With the unfortunate of circiumstances there happened to be a need to prohibit some members from participating on the forum anymore because of disruption and disrespect. It so happened, that the next comment was issued on another forum in relations to my own mod qualities, it went something along those lines:" I would not let her be a moderator of a toilet room"

So, I would like to call injustice on that. It so happens that in my past I cleaned toilets as part of my military service and would take it upon myself to say that I did a pretty good job!! If the toilets are in the desert built in the ecological style of a hole in the ground then I can do even better!

Now, that is a relief to put this one out, thanks for the opportunity Mini!

[Stephanie]

Thank you 'Mini' Flash for a wonderful thread, A+ text, and great opinions.

It is an injustice..... that you are called 'Mini' Flash,
when 'Maxi' or 'Mega' would be more appropriate!

Blessings to you.

[Violet]

I gave A's to students who didn't do half the research you did, and in ESL (English as a Second Language!), , Miniflash.

I do have this bad habit of writing under essays like this: sources? You do make firm statements about real companies and diseases (and of course by now "every one" knows (you may assume) but it's a scientific writing rule thing), so you need to back that up.

It's difficult for me to accept that the teacher did not value your ability to develop such a well-reasoned opinion (and you're showing her you read things to know this and you thought about it). She/whoever may not agree with what you wrote but as an educator she should have:

a) lauded your character and will to delve into the subject profoundly (language teaching is not just about language), obviously having made the homework (maaaaaany students are soo lazy nowadays, and they expect to be rewarded for it too. It's depressing sometimes, I can't believe she (as a teacher) wasn't happy with this fresh wind in her carreer).

b) motivated why it didn't comply until you understand why it didn't comply, because here you are: and you still don't know. That's not feedback.

I like the way you summed up in the end (twice even). A lot of students forget that. They just stop in the middle. You have the structure, you have the language mastery, you do (!) have an opinion here. You are explaining your thoughts on the matter with (okay, controversial but still) examples taken from reality.

I'm careful at the same time because I don't understand what the teacher's expectations were.

Miniflash, could you share the task instruction with us (as she wrote it)?



Post-update:

Oh, and (espec. in this case) when a student hands in a paper, you never give 0. Also when evaluating components, give 1 then, they'll get the message (but that's just my opinion).

[Violet]

Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
-------

GREAT thread.

Some of you have heard this story before. But it belongs here!

When I was 8 (just eight) years old, our class teacher wanted us to write a little story. All the other kids wrote about their new puppy dog, or where they went on vacation. But young Bill Ryan, though he was only tiny, wanted to write about GHOSTS AND FLYING SAUCERS.

My teacher wouldn't let me. INJUSTICE !!

(But I did kind of get my own back many years later.... )

I did a presentation on planets round that age but there was no injustice there.

So, to better fit the thread, fast forward to high school. For some reason, I like the German language, from an early age already. And I liked to listen to German as well. So, I was a bit ahead of my class when we got our first German lesson, and confident too. As a result, no one understood why I failed nearly every German test with this one new teacher. When they put her in charge of Dutch, she did the same thing to me there. I failed again and again. Injustice.

I also got my own back many years later.

[Mini Flash]

Posted by AriG (here)
When I was a mere eight years old and living with my mother and father in Denver, we received news that my grandfather was to undergo kidney removal in Covington, KY. He was quite elderly at the time, as my mother was a menopause surprise. My mother, my sister (aged 5) and I boarded a plane to CVG. Once arrived, we were boarded with a Great Aunt in a three room cottage. We spent one month overseeing the the kidney removal and subsequent recovery.

About three weeks into the fiasco, my father telephoned my mother to announce that we were not to come home. He enjoyed his privacy and his peace and quiet. Time would tell that he was involved with a waitress from the country club. My sister and I witnessed my mother's sobs from the vantage point of Aunt Ruby's mud room on a steamy July day in the Ohio Valley. No more mountain air, no more family, no more belonging and feeling safe. Life became precarious that day and continues to this day.

But we were not safe. Nine months prior, my sister and I boarded a funny plane in the Greater Denver foothills. Life was never the same. Days later, we emerged from this plane. My father was waiting for us. We went home and Mom had lunch on the table. I recall her asking how our trip to the car wash had been. Days had passed. We were famished. I recall a deep sleep, a troubled sleep and then abandonment.

Twelve months later, we were sent to visit our paternal grandmother in Knoxville. It was Easter. My father met us at the airport and introduced us to his new wife. The same country club waitress from Denver. She was tall and scary and dark. She was not human. She hated us on every level.

One year later, country club waitress and our father had moved to San Diego. We were sent to visit. She took us to the rocky beaches and laughed as we almost drowned in the waves.

Once back at their home, we were forced to scrub all the floors with ammonia, as she poured ammonia over our heads. We barely survived the ordeal.

This is no Cinderall story. There was no ball. No prince charming. Two years later, Mother marries a Nazi. And the saga continued......

Wow! What a story! Don't let that get to you... No one can change the way you feel but only you can. Keep your heart wide open and let only positive get to you.
You know what my friends who are addicted to video games say? You have just passed to the next level of ''life'', you have to win this. I believe in you

[Mini Flash]

Posted by mariposafe (here)
I'm as ESL teacher and haven't seen anything so well written in a long time ! To say that your text is argumentative rather than being an opinion and to give you 0% is, in my view, just a case of the teacher trying to show who's boss, which I think is pathetic. I used to regularly teach IELTS (the international English examination system) classes and although the criteria and objectives are different, I estimate that your piece would probably earn you a grade 8 or 8.5 (out of 9). (Anyone wishing to challenge me on that, I'll be more than happy to justify my reasoning). To show you what you could do with this teacher in the future, here's my example of injustice (one out of many !) ....

I was 16 and had failed my Human Biology O' level. I'd also failed everything else, but this was my favourite subject and I should have passed easily. So I registered to resit in November, and had to attend classes until the time of the exam. The school had a new teacher who'd come from a private all-girls school, and she DID NOT like me. She never ceased to put me down and make it clear that (as a male from a single-parent family) I was far far below the standard of pupil she believed she should be blessed with. It was hell. There was one homework assignment where we were asked to describe two physiological processes, and I submitted my perfectly answer in a couple of paragraphs. She told me the answer was too long ! So .... a couple of weeks later, she gave me a perfect opportunity to get back at her, setting a homework question beginning with the words "Do you think that ...." (I can't remember the details). So I carefully and neatly wrote out the headings in the format required, and then simply wrote "Yes". She made no comment, but attempted to get my sixth form master to withdraw me from the exam. I insisted I be allowed to take it and got a grade 2 (Equivalent to an A nowadays).

So, if your teacher wants an opinion - all you need to do is write a maximum of two sentences !

It is funny because my teacher did mention it was too long and said ''No offense, but I don't really care about all the health problems unhealthy food can bring.''.. It would have been funny if I only wrote two sentences and I could have added ''No offense, but I don't really care about developping my argument''

[Mini Flash]

Posted by Violet (here)
I gave A's to students who didn't do half the research you did, and in ESL (English as a Second Language!), , Miniflash.

I do have this bad habit of writing under essays like this: sources? You do make firm statements about real companies and diseases (and of course by now "every one" knows (you may assume) but it's a scientific writing rule thing), so you need to back that up.

It's difficult for me to accept that the teacher did not value your ability to develop such a well-reasoned opinion (and you're showing her you read things to know this and you thought about it). She/whoever may not agree with what you wrote but as an educator she should have:

a) lauded your character and will to delve into the subject profoundly (language teaching is not just about language), obviously having made the homework (maaaaaany students are soo lazy nowadays, and they expect to be rewarded for it too. It's depressing sometimes, I can't believe she (as a teacher) wasn't happy with this fresh wind in her carreer).

b) motivated why it didn't comply until you understand why it didn't comply, because here you are: and you still don't know. That's not feedback.

I like the way you summed up in the end (twice even). A lot of students forget that. They just stop in the middle. You have the structure, you have the language mastery, you do (!) have an opinion here. You are explaining your thoughts on the matter with (okay, controversial but still) examples taken from reality.

I'm careful at the same time because I don't understand what the teacher's expectations were.

Miniflash, could you share the task instruction with us (as she wrote it)?



Post-update:

Oh, and (espec. in this case) when a student hands in a paper, you never give 0. Also when evaluating components, give 1 then, they'll get the message (but that's just my opinion).

Well I had to pick between three question and I had to give my opinion by picking one of these questions. I picked the question ''Should restaurents ban unhealthy food''. I needed an Introduction, two arguments with facts to support my opinion and a conclusion to remind what was the subject and arguments.

She put me a 0 in ''pertinence of the text'' because the title wasn't the same as the question, there were scientifique explanation and not opinion, my text had too many words, i had too many examples and my conclusion was ''ordinairy''.

I don't know if that helps you to evaluate the text

Thanks for showing your support!

[Violet]

Yes, Mini Flash, it helps, thank you.

I think the teacher is too negative.

Posted by Mini Flash (here)

Well I had to pick between three question and I had to give my opinion by picking one of these questions. I picked the question ''Should restaurents ban unhealthy food''. I needed an Introduction, two arguments with facts to support my opinion and a conclusion to remind what was the subject and arguments.

She put me a 0 in ''pertinence of the text'' because the title wasn't the same as the question, there were scientifique explanation and not opinion, my text had too many words, i had too many examples and my conclusion was ''ordinairy''.

I don't know if that helps you to evaluate the text

Thanks for showing your support!