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Thread: Finding Love

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Finding Love

    This is a story I wrote about how I opened up to my step dad who later became my guru.



    I grew up on a dairy farm with my mother and step dad. Mostly things were normal in my early years. My mom loved me and I loved her and we both worked very hard with my step dad to keep the dairy business running. At first I really wasn't all that happy living with a herd of cows. The hard work wasn't so bad after you got used to it, but what gave me the hardest time was going to school smelling like a cow. It would be terrible on the school bus when everyone would tease me and not come near me because I smelled so bad. I got in the habit of taking a bath everyday but all I had to do is step in the barn for morning chores and the kids on the bus and in school would know and make me feel like a freak.

    You would think that after awhile they would get tired of picking on me for the same stupid reason, but noooo, the teasing went on forever with no end in sight.



    So one morning while my step dad was filling up the manure spreader he happened to look my way and saw that I was crying. He asked why and I told him I really didn't want to face the kids at school today and I told him why. He then took my hand and led me to his pick-up truck and off we went to talk to the principal at school.



    I did appreciate what he was trying to do for me but he still had on his farm clothes and his barn boots were thick with manure. But when we got to the school he took my hand and led me down the school corridor to the principal’s office. On the way the school kids went absolutely crazy holding their noses, making choking sounds and pressing themselves against the wall to get as far away from us as possible as we walked by. I was sure my step dad was leaving manure foot prints behind as we made our way to the principal’s office.



    We opened the door and walked into a small receptionist room. When my dad shut the door behind us the smell of manure was so thick you could cut it with a knife, The secretary looked up from her paperwork with a look of horror on her face. My dad told her we were here to see the principal and she immediately got up, opened the door to the principal’s office, went in, and slammed it shut. I knew she was in there trying to figure out a way to get rid of us as fast as possible.



    But then a strange thing happened. I was at the absolute lowest point of my entire life when I looked into my step-dads' eyes. He was looking at me and I could feel his love pouring into me and replacing all the pain I was experiencing. He was smiling and I could tell that none of what was going on in this school mattered to him at all. I was the only person who mattered to him. And then for the first time in my life I let myself love him back and smiled. He then took my hand and we left the school.




    The kids continued to tease me for awhile after that but it didn't seem to bother me anymore. And then a miracle happened. They stopped teasing me.

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    United States Avalon Member annacherie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    "But then a strange thing happened. I was at the absolute lowest point of my entire life when I looked into my step-dads' .eyes He was looking at me and I could feel his love pouring into me and replacing all the pain I was experiencing. He was smiling and I could tell that none of what was going on in this school mattered to him at all. I was the only person who mattered to him. And then for the first time in my life I let myself love him back and smiled. He then took my hand and we left the school"

    It seems as though you arrived at a point where only love could heal your wounds....no amount of this and/or that type of therapy....just pure love. What a wonderful frame of reference you can harken back to again and again as you go through your life.

    Wondeful story -just what I needed to hear!


    cherie

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    What a lovely story! Your step dad did just the right thing, and I am so happy for you that you had such a loving and protective (step)father.

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    thanks annacherie for your wonderful reply to my story

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    thanks Silkie, It's nice you understood exactly what happened

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    suzzycowgirl, nice cow on the picture (you're a cute couple), a very warm and loving picture, just before opening this thread I came to think of a girl I met a very long time ago that I was madly in love with, I thought about how extremely good I remember that felt, strangely on that picture you remind a lot about her. For me it's kind of the other way around, if I don't feel like a cowboy I begin to suffer. So for instance I drink beer quite often, I know it's not so healthy, but if I don't get meat and beer I start suffering. I have come to realize it's who I am.

    Love is open arms.
    Last edited by WhiteLove; 5th May 2015 at 18:03.

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    United States Avalon Member Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Being an on-and-off organic farmer, I know the smell of manure all too well. To me it is the smell of perfume, because it reminds me of a hard day's work. It reminds me that I am doing meaningful work on this planet while interacting with animals that are in tune with Mother Earth. Most conventional people on this planet have no idea what it is like to work on a farm, because they are conditioned by Mother Culture in indoctrination centers (otherwise known as schools) in cities (otherwise known as concentration camps).

    I feel proud when I smell of sweat and manure after a hard day's work, and I don't care what domesticated humans think of it. They can continue to work their city jobs sitting on their butts in cubicles working for companies that sponsor materialism, while I am outside interacting with nature. Farming is very satisfying and although one does not get too much fake money out of it, there is an abundance of Love.

    Thank you for sharing this story. It put a big smile upon my face.
    "Rather than love, than fame, than money, give me truth."
    ~Henry David Thoreau

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    thanks for the nice reply WhiteLove, I remember telling a guy on a different site, " You don't know much about me, you only know how I make you feel, lol" Glad to pass some good vibs on to you.

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Wow we are on the same page here Robin. I was thinking of another story I wrote that I know you will like. I'll see if I can message it to you, I"m still learning the ins and outs of this site.

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Quote Posted by suzzycowgirl (here)
    thanks for the nice reply WhiteLove, I remember telling a guy on a different site, " You don't know much about me, you only know how I make you feel, lol" Glad to pass some good vibs on to you.
    Yeah very good vibes, magical in a very special different kind of way, very difficult to describe, it's just so right. Oh man, sometimes I just want to get a one way ticket to Nashville. I would like to have a farm with sheep that I would never butcher, just take care of them because I love them.

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Magic is the operative word here. It does take magic to rise above the low level our culture puts pressure on us to endure.

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Great story Suzzy
    Without farming were would the modern world be, it wouldn't exist it's a simple as that by having food reserves this allows us to have cities and our modern way of life, I think farmers are heroes I should add farmers and their families are heroes, great story thanks again
    Kindest regards
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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    thanks for the wonderful comment and it is all very true

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    suzzycowgirl, great story. I grew up in the country and spent most of my spare time on my neighbor's dairy farm with my good friend. I milked cows (and every cow was called by name), drove tractors, helped with all the stages of tobacco farming. Lots of farmers and country boys went to my school so I never had to be made fun of but I'm sure I stunk, too! Those memories of living the farm life are the best I have of my childhood. We are so lucky, aren't we?

    Matt
    Fear is simply a consequence of a lack of information.

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Welcome to Avalon, suzzycowgirl.

    Choking back tears as I finish off this thanks for the beautiful picture you painted. I saw those kids and staff come to life. I saw the love your family lives.

    Too many aren’t able to overcome harsh judgements as you did. Your empowered account will reawaken many.

    My deepest heart felt thanks,
    RunningDeer <3

    PS suzzycowgirl and cow photograph is my new desktop picture for a little while.

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Hi Matt, Yes we are very lucky because we know what it feels like to create new wealth. Thanks for the great comment.

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    Wow I'm almost in tears reading your reply, Thanks alot, dear

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    That story made me shed a few tears as well. Thanks for sharing it!

    I grew up on a farm in a family of 10 children. I was in the middle of the pack. I didn't go out to the barn much (as my older brothers did most of that work), but I peeled a lot of potatoes, washed a ton of dishes, mopped a lot of floors, and weeded a lot of rows in the garden. Hard work was necessary in my family & everyone was expected to do their part.

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    That is how Love works.
    It is calling us with silent voices, unheard by many including us. It is teasing our minds, souls , spirits. Alas we don`t hear.
    Then Love being as wise as ever is trying to pick our interest and is pushing us a bit more to the proverbial edge so we are on the cliff without a choice but to jump -into the unknown.
    But there is it! In the unknown Love dwells.
    It made you take care of those lovely animals, it made you withstand all the teasing until one day it awoke your step dad to show his quality.
    And when that man acted and showed his quality, Love tickled you to let go, to embrace , to love back...
    Then the miracle!

    Love took off all the issues. It took them all off now, because you heard it. You embraced Love back.
    You became it.
    You are it...thus your path is cleared.

    Ah that crazy little thing called Love...

    Love, love - and see what happens

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    Hey Snoolie, I recognize the life style of a farm girl growing up in you reply, thanks

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    United States Avalon Member suzzycowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding Love

    My goodness Beren, There are so many amazing people on this forum and you are one of them. Your reply is lovely and describes what happened exactly. I too like to write about love, here is an example:

    The mind can only materialize love, freedom, truth, beauty, health, wisdom and all of the other ideas we label as virtuous. For example if you truely try to love someone the first thing you will notice is that this other person becomes more important to you than your own fears and your fears will start to disappear as love grows and takes their place. Then your world starts to materialize around you out of love not fear. And the things and the people who make up this world become manifestations of your love. The manifestations may change as this plane of time and space and other ego's work over your world, but as long as you are a witness to the love behind your material world your mind will keep creating a situation in which love can live and grow.

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    Default Re: Finding Love

    dear, dear suzzycowgirl, what a heart warming story. We have been heavily indoctrinated to separate ourselves from mother earth. We are not to have organic smells, women are not to grow hair in certain places, we are to fear any exposure to the sun, we are to kill any insects that dare to traverse our synthetic habitats, how very strange that we are taught to be revolted by the very substances of which we are made. Talk about the ultimate alienation.

    I am sorry that you had to be criticized as a child , but I am delighted that the power of love and connection is what you took away with you from that experience. Welcome to the forum, my dear!!!!!

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