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Thread: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

  1. Link to Post #181
    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.


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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Some things are too heavy for words.
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone when we are uncool." From the movie "Almost Famous""l "Let yourself stand cool and composed before a million universes." Walt Whitman

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    please see Limor’s comment here, too:

    http://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1012357


    WE NEED WATER !










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  7. Link to Post #184
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.



    During my birth, my mother died. My parents were from a remote village. So my father could not do anything for saving her life. I grew up with my grandparents and then with my uncle’s family. I was a very brave lady from my childhood. My environment had pushed me to be a brave woman. I did every kind of work that a man does. I took care of our 7 cows. Along with our maid I dried thousands of sacks of rice. I was strong and brave like a man. Our villagers used to say, “You will never get married. Who will marry a girl that is like a man? Who will be her family? No man will live with her!” I was never concerned about those words because at that time my only thoughts were to work for a living and to feed myself as well as and to make my family members happy. I understood at that age, that nothing but work can make people happy.

    Proving everyone wrong; I got married when I was 15 years old. I got the most loving husband. I found a dream come true. I have never imagined a life that could be so colorful. My husband was a very loving man. I had never found that much love ever like that which I got from him. But that happiness was really for a short period of time. I got a divorce after 3 years of my marriage. They wanted a child from me, but I could not give them a child. God have not given me that power to conceive. Doctors said I am unable to become a mother. For 3 years I had done everything and eaten everything people told me about to facilitate a pregnancy.Nothing happened. Finally, making everyone right again, my husband of 3 years left me because I can’t be a mother. When I found my marriage was over I thought my life was over too. It is impossible for me to describe the depth of the pain when you get the most beautiful thing in your life and then lose it again in front of your eyes.

    I have never married again, but became a midwife instead. I had been interested in it since my childhood. No one could save my mother. So I wanted to save mothers’ lives. For that, I took training from the midwife of our village. I have been brave since my childhood. From my acts people started to believe in me. They started wanting me in their labor room. They started to feel confident when I am there in their labor room. I saved hundreds of women’s lives. But I am badly defeated again by my fate. I could not save my mother’s life. My adopted daughter whom I was calling ‘Maa’ for the last 25 years left me last month in her labor room. I could not save my mother’s life again

    Roksana 60




    The day I was born, no one even touched their food, as I was the fourth daughter of my parents. My black skin color made the situation more miserable for them. My three elder sisters were fair, tall and slim. I was clearly a burden for my poor parents, everyone told me that throughout my childhood. Sometimes I heard my mother telling my father that bringing me into their life was a curse. So I started praying to God, almost every day I prayed to make me a little bit fairer, taller and slimmer. My father managed to fix my marriage by giving false promises to the groom. The kind hearted guy married the ugliest girl of our village. Overnight he became the kindest guy of his generation. I was told never to return to home ever again. So my only option was to listen to my kind hearted husband’s every order. I was fearful all the time. A kind of fear every black girl feels about losing her husband. Every day he used to beat me miserably, because of the false promises my father made to him. I always kept quiet as I thought the fault was all mine. One day he threw hot water onto my feet, I remained silent. I couldn’t sleep for countless nights in fear of losing everything that was never mine. One day when I sat to eat, without any warning signs he kicked me from the back. When I fell to the ground, I was awake; I took the stick nearest to me and started beating him, without giving him any chance to attack me. I was beating every single person of my life who humiliated me. Everyone who ripped my soul. No one came to stop me and I saw fear on their faces. I took my son and left that house forever. I never cried for a single time after that. Never prayed to God to make me beautiful, never begged anyone to love me. I work as a labourer. Whenever I see little black girls working in the site, I always smile to them and tell them how beautiful they are. They asked me with surprise ‘how can a black girl be beautiful?’. I tell them, ‘Only beautiful is the person who has a beautiful heart.’

    Monowara




    Billu was injured when I found him beside the train track. He was walking with pain and looking at me for help. I am from a very poor family. Even sometimes, my housemaid mother has to beg for rice so that she can equally feed her three daughters. Taking a cat as a pet does not suit beggars. I looked away and tried to cross the road by ignoring him. When I looked back I saw him looking at me with despair. Then helplessly I went back and embraced him.

    We, three sisters hid him from my mother’s eyes for three days. Then one morning, we woke up when amma was screaming in anger. Billu tried to sleep in her cozy blanket and when she screamed in surprise he peed on it. My mother briskly took him and headed for the rail line; three of us begged her not to throw Billu away but she listened to no one. The whole day none of us ate anything….with great surprise Billu returned to us secretly at night by himself. The next morning, my mother took him to a far away place. And informed us the cat could never be able to find us again. But the genius came back again. And again my mother furiously took him with her and left him in a place that we never heard of before. That night we were wide awake to welcome him at home but he did not come back.

    The next day, we did not take any food or water, including my mother. During the evening she rushed to search for Billu, by skipping her work. My mother found Billu injured in the same place she had left him. Local people informed her some boys had beaten up him for fun. My mother spent her one month salary on Billu and because of our care he is now fat and naughty. I asked amma, why she allowed him to be with us. She said, our father left us in an abandoned place and fled because he never wanted daughters. She could never do the same even with an animal. Billu is now our naughty brother, who eats most of our food and sleeps only with my mother.

    Rojina




    I see thousands of people every day. Waves of people come and go. So many kinds of people I see and I think that I am the only one who has no one. I am the only person who has been suffering loneliness from the very beginning;I am an orphan. I never saw my parents. I think I am the unluckiest person alive who has no one. Every day I pray to God to take me to him. He already took everyone from me; why is he not taking me to them? This life is unbearable now. Without having anyone no one can survive. I have no one to talk to. I don’t know how many days have passed before talking with you. I don’t go outside in the day light. People don’t like to see me. They think I am the cursed one; for me all my family members have died and I am the only one who is alive.

    My wife died giving birth to our second child. My daughter and I raised him with a lot of struggle. My daughter was also a little kid;she was only 8 years old. But what happened after enduring this much hardship for my son? He died in his 22nd year. I could not even marry my son with someone. He died in a bus accident. My daughter died the year after my son had died and left her 6-year-old daughter with me. I was only surviving for Sonia; Sonia my granddaughter. She was my everything. For the last 18 years she was my night and day. She was a beautiful and happy girl. I never knew she was in so much pain that she needed to commit suicide in our room with her scarf. I never knew! She never said anything to me! I never could feel her pain. People say I am cursed.Sometimes I think they are right; if not, then why would I not be able to understand my Sonia’s pain? How could I let her do that? She died because of her love. That man used to come sometimes but I never talked to him. He used to come and sit beside me and cry like a child.

    I have been living alone for the last 4 years and waiting to see my last day. I don’t know what God wants from me. Why in this crowded world have I no one? For me being alive is a curse now.

    Faiz Uddin Molla 80




    Every day it was my task to wait for my father in the evening. I waited, and waited for him to arrive home from our village market. When he returned with his happy face, my first question was “what did you bring for me today?” As always the reply was with another question, “who will bring you sweets every day when I won’t be here anymore?” I used to always laugh at his questions and replied “who? You don’t know who my husband will be!” I don’t remember my mother; I lost her when I was only two years old. My father is the only one who took care of me the last six years of his life. After that my aunty took me with her as a servant.

    How time flies! We have been together for the last ten years. People say we are a very happy couple. We were actually very young when we first met. This is our love marriage. I met him first at my aunt’s house when he was there for a job. I first saw him when I opened the door. He was looking at me and unintentionally I smiled at him and fortunately he smiled back. I can’t explain that heavenly moment when I fell in love. From that day on he started coming in front of our house every single day. I could see him waiting at the grocery shop in front of our house from our veranda. After a month I managed to talk to him with my cousin. I could not stop myself from asking him why he came every day in front of our house and waited looking at our veranda? He didn’t answer my question but rather asked me another question, “will you marry me?”

    I have no regrets even though we are very poor. We have almost nothing except a bed. Together we earn a very little amount of money but we are never hopeless about our earning and our life. We understand each other completely. The most valued part is that we love each other unconditionally. We help each other in our tasks. He helps me even with my household work. He takes cares for our daughter when I work. When I go to take bath in our nearby river he always comes with me for my safekeeping. He always pays attention for us even if I do something silly. He helps me in every possible way. Our slum’s women are surely jealous of me. I am certainly blessed with him.

    My only regret in my whole life is that my father could not see how happy I am with my husband. I cry almost every night going to sleep that my father could not see my happiness. How lucky I am finding a husband who cares for me like parents care for their child. Our God is so kind that he gave me my husband. You know what? He always brings sweets for me and puts them under my pillow. When I cry for my father in the night, he gives me one in my hand like I am a child crying for sweets. This makes me cry even more. I love this man more than my life.

    Sonia and Arif




    I used to think with every passing year I might forget every scar I have. But that did not happen. Even by passing time I tend to remember all tiny memories deeply. I had a past that shattered my present and future. My parents married me off when I was nine years old. Before I knew what is the rule of a husband I was married. My first daughter was born when I was ten. By the time, my husband and in-laws had sent back me and my daughter to my home as my parents were unable to pay them dowry. To me, my daughter was nothing just a lively doll to play. And again before I could play with my doll enough they snatched her and married me off with my current husband. My mother sent off my daughter to a far flung location that still now I have no idea who have adopted her and where she might be. My bitter life started and my current husband continued to question me about my past for the rest of my life. I gave birth to three sons and by the time they know about my past all were adult and educated. They rejected me and continued to insult me with their father. At the age of eighty five I urge to be with my lost daughter. She is just ten years younger than me but when I recall her I can only remember some tiny fingers holding me tight, I get a smell something like cinnamon, I see those big eyes wondering at me. I keep living in my past; I am still a ten years old mother.

    Tahora Khattun (85)



    A drop of your love got mixed in my cup
    I could drink the bitters of life.

    GMB AKASH, photojournalist from Bangladesh, more here:



    https://gmbakash.wordpress.com/
    Last edited by Iloveyou; 24th February 2018 at 10:01.

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  9. Link to Post #185
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.





    My parents are very poor. I was the main reason for their stress. When I grew up everyone around me wanted to settle me soon. They said otherwise it would be too late to get any groom for a short, black girl. My main tasks were putting a lot of powder on my face and wearing shoes that were too difficult to walk in. Those potential grooms and their families never liked me. It was difficult to express myself when they questioned me about things like how well I could cook or how much I was earning. More awkwardly was when they asked me to walk in order to check if my legs were okay, or touched my hair to check if it was fake or real. When I met my husband we met outside in a nearby field. I felt disgusted when I was going to meet him for the first time. I wanted to go back and never meet him; my relative forced me to go and asked me to talk to him alone.
    We were sitting silently; I was looking at my shoes and expecting to hear the same questions. He pointed at my shoes and asked me how I could manage to walk in those. His face was so genuine that I started laughing. Then he told me I can ask him anything that I wanted to know. I paused for a while because that had never happened to me before. No one ever asked me if I had any questions for the groom. I asked him what kind of girl he wants to marry. He told me, ‘I want a wife who can laugh just like you. I earn very little and have no great qualities to share. Only sometimes I can cook very well and sing old songs. If you think I am worthy of you, I will bring my mother.’
    It’s been six months that we have been married. I did not wear those shoes again; he only buys slippers for me. After work we return home together. At that time, we buy vegetables and laugh at silly things. But we never talk about love. We feel very shy to talk about it and have never said ‘I love you’ to each other. On this path it takes more time to reach home, but we love to walk the extra miles together.

    Textile worker Saheena Begum (19) with husband Mominul Islam (21)


    Last edited by Iloveyou; 10th June 2019 at 18:13.

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    United States Avalon Member Valerie Villars's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Iloveyou, the stories are heartbreakingly visceral. What beautiful journalism.
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone when we are uncool." From the movie "Almost Famous""l "Let yourself stand cool and composed before a million universes." Walt Whitman

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.



    IAM


    I am not body
    I am not soul
    I am the space that forms the bowl

    I am not name
    I am not eyes
    I am the pause between the sighs

    I am not emotions
    I am not thoughts
    I am the other way across

    I am not passion
    I am not role
    I am the peace in place of the goal

    I am not future
    I am not past
    I am the quickening and the vast

    I am not beginning
    I am not end
    I am everything that nothing intends

    I am not probability
    I am not potential
    I am what appears when everything's essential

    I am not question
    I am not answer
    I am the trance in everyone's dancer

    I am not pattern
    I am not force
    I am the reason there can never be a Source

    I am everything I am
    I am everything I'm not
    I am the how in the why of all whatnot

    I didn't write this
    You didn't read it
    I didn't expect it
    You won't remember it
    It's the abyss of bliss
    The way everything fits


    This is a very intimate account of two and a half years in the life of a reluctant psychonaut.

    The hope is that something in the telling of his ordeal and ultimate triumph may help someone else.



    RAVINGS OF A RELUCTANT PSYCHONAUT:
    Ayahuasca, San Pedro, Kambo Medicinas
    by M. C. Miller

    (boolacalaca)


    From trauma to transformation. This is a very intimate account of two and a half years in the life of a reluctant psychonaut. What started with a South American vacation for one IT consultant and his wife from the States ended with lives changed and doors of potential opened. Their vacation side trip plan was simple enough. He would go along to Ayahuasca and San Pedro plant medicine ceremonies to support his wife, who was drawn to the experience. Unlike her, he had no burning intention, no mystical calling, at most only a healthy curiosity and lingering interest in the possibilities of expanded consciousness.

    What happened next thrust him on an arduous path. Along the way he couldn't shake alarming fear and doubt, growing paradoxes and dilemmas, and yet ultimately passages of self-discovery and tremendous healing were realized. All along he took personal notes, furious notes of his evolving post-ceremony ravings. Residual terror and unanswered questions from the first Ayahuasca ceremony haunted him for over a year. Frustrated to explain what had happened, he grew desperate to find peace within. To that end, synchronicities and life changes mixed with chance meetings with people in South America. He was led to a remarkable shaman, a man who listened and responded with techniques and medicines that triggered a most unlikely breakthrough.

    This is that journey, recorded as it happened with wider perspectives of hindsight added. It's a journey the author couldn't have foreseen and never guessed would become his future. It exists as another testament to the power of sacred plant medicines. That testament reinforces the power to reconnect with the strength within all of us to transform our lives.

    Integration of profound entheogenic experiences is so important and yet for many this critical step remains elusive. In a heartfelt afterword, his wife describes coming to grips with having the tables turned on who was supporting whom. While she worked through her own process with the medicines, she also discovered what it means to live with someone deeply troubled by what's possible in Ayahuasca space. Her perspective on that two year odyssey, how both of them not only got through it but blossomed as a result, is an invaluable example for anyone who has a friend or loved one in the midst of facing their personal demons as the result of plant medicine ceremonies.

    The hope is that something in the telling of his ordeal and ultimate triumph may help someone else. It could be someone who hears the call to the sacred plant medicines or someone, having already heeded that call, struggles to integrate all it means to them.

    for simple access:
    USA:http://amzn.to/2BPAWWU
    UK:http://amzn.to/2HRczJh
    AU:http://amzn.to/2HRwhUW
    CAN:http://amzn.to/2sZhzYP
    Last edited by Iloveyou; 4th March 2018 at 09:39.

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  15. Link to Post #188
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.




    BEAUTY lies in the supple movements of an animal, in the erotic movements of a body that is free of fear, in the grace of a loved child and in the face of a loving woman. All ways in which life expresses itself are beautiful when the inner movement and outer expression are identical. (Dieter Duhm)
    Last edited by Iloveyou; 20th March 2018 at 09:12.

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.


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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Thanks again to all those that have contributed images & words to this beautiful thread still one of my most favorite here on Avalon

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    I literally started crying at this post. Just the images could never have had that impact, thank you Iloveyou.

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.



    Last edited by uzn; 5th March 2018 at 03:29.

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    Avalon Member norman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    These are colorised old black and white photographs.















    .................................................. my first language is TYPO..............................................

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Wow, thanks Norman, those were amazing.

    I could've taken this one on my phone.

    Quote Posted by norman (here)

    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
    ~ Jimi Hendrix

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  29. Link to Post #195
    UK Avalon Member Star Mariner's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    To jump on board with what Norman posted, a few more old colourized photos.



















    from: http://dimplify.com/post/7989
    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
    ~ Jimi Hendrix

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    Avalon Member norman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Austrian artist Gerhard Haderer













    .................................................. my first language is TYPO..............................................

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    United States Avalon Member Valerie Villars's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Strange but thought provoking art. Does anyone use a camera any more?
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone when we are uncool." From the movie "Almost Famous""l "Let yourself stand cool and composed before a million universes." Walt Whitman

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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    ........

    Thank you for bringing an American perspective to the table.







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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    ...

    There are some things that bombs and fighting just can’t kill.





    Mohammed Anis puts a record on his trusty gramophone at his home in Aleppo. His family gone, his home bombed out, the record player is one of the few things still working - and a main source of joy for him.

    Anis puffed on his pipe. He looked out the window and he had a look on his face of a person watching a beautiful sunset. He sat there, puffing on his broken pipe and staring out the window as the music floated over the ruins of his house and the city outside.

    https://correspondent.afp.com/music-over-ruins-aleppo
    Last edited by Iloveyou; 10th June 2019 at 18:20.

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    UK Avalon Member Star Mariner's Avatar
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    Default Re: The beauty and the pain of being human. Images.

    Historical Selfies.

    The selfie is not a latter day invention by any means. Especially when it comes to celebs (many from the Beatles - some below). And Buzz Aldrin famously took a selfie in orbit. In the past, focal length limited the effectiveness of the selfie, and to capture yourself you needed a wide-angle lens - or made do with a mirror. Here are some selfies through time.














    selfie from 1913


    Buzz Aldrin space walk, Gemini 12, 1966


    Click image for larger version

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    "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
    ~ Jimi Hendrix

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