Overcome Shame!

[jimrich]

Shame is amongst the most destructive and self defeating conditions that many folks have to endure while growing up in a shame-based family such as mine was.
Shame simply tells you that you are no damned good or defective and there is NOTHING that can be done about it. You just are BAD, WRONG and Shameful.
Guilt says you did something wrong, broke a window, farted in church, pinched your sister but you can atone for your mistakes with an apology or an explanation and then be forgiven, which clears away the guilt...... BUT TOXIC Shame says you simply ARE wrong and bad and can never be forgiven no matter how much you apologize or explain.
So, many folks are unwitting prisoners of toxic shame and when asked the question: "Who are you?", many seekers will suddenly clam up or go silent and just stare with NOTHING to say. There are plenty of examples of this ashamed pattern in here where I ask folks "Who/what are you?" and they go shamefully SILENT and never answer the question! Why? Because they are suddenly stopped by a shame-based ego and become shamefully tongue tied! It's shameful for them to say, "I am the ego." or even worse, "I am Divine." - the epitome of arrogance for a shame-based person/ego - even though it's true!
I've watched many videos where a sage/teacher asks some seeker, "Who are you?" and the embarrassed, shocked seeker just goes SILENT - with a stunned or worried look on their face. The seeker is caught in a 'Toxic Shame-bind' and cannot or dare not speak the truth, so they fall into embarrassed SILENCE - just like several have done in this forum when asked, "who/what are you?" It's not an attack or accusation. It's simply a question and a meaningful question at that.
In a Papaji video, one seeker asks Papaji, "Who are you?" and then all the other seekers begin to giggle. I don't know why the giggling - perhaps they thought the sage would get upset or skip over this silly question but Papaji just honestly and innocently said, while pointing upwards and smiling, "I am that, I am..." and then went on with a few other esoteric terms to say who he is. He was not ashamed or afraid to speak the truth so why are so many of YOU afraid or ashamed to speak your truths?
I say it's TOXIC SHAME.
You are too ashamed of the fact that you either do not know who/what you are or you already have an unhealthy attitude about your shame-based self.
So, as a helpful spiritual practice, I recommend that you study self esteem (google it) and begin adopting an attitude of self love and respect to offset the Shameful attitudes that your parents and other shame-based folks gave you when you were young.
In addition to self esteem/respect studies, I suggest that you ask your self as much as possible, "Who/what am I NOT?" and then let your self know or accept that you are NOT a shame-based egoic individual but that you in fact are: open, empty Awareness, Reality, Absolute, god or whatever spiritual/mystical word you have the courage to apply to your Real Self!
If you sincerely apply these methods, you may soon find your toxic Shame-bind melting away and being replaced by a sense of OKness and happiness after which it will be easy to answer the question, "Who/what am I?" - WITHOUT SHAME OR GUILT!
Someone infected you with TOXIC SHAME when you were little and defenseless BUT you don't have to live with THEIR SICKNESS for the rest of your life!
Once the shame-based ego is dropped or seen through, you are THERE! You are "there" right now but your toxic shame-based ego is blocking the light and warmth of love and understanding and you have never dared question your self nor your automatic identity as an egoic person, with a mind and body.
I could say a lot more about the Shame-bind and your ego but it would take up a few dozen pages so, google: "Toxic Shame" and learn all about your shame plus how to undo the shame-bind that ignorant others implanted in you.
good luck

[Atlas]

Heart Touching Video of Great Humility | Compassion | Kindness

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=QXz2RsJXdNc

[Daozen]

Nice, Jim. I noticed in esoteric/New Age communities people are deeply conditioned to be ashamed about money and work.

No human should be ashamed of needing an honest hours work, for an honest hours pay.

[jimrich]

Posted by Atlas (here)
Heart Touching Video of Great Humility | Compassion | Kindness

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=QXz2RsJXdNc

What I can see there is a young guy operating from NO EGO and NO SHAME. He is doing what self-less consciousness can and will do for himself which is the "mud-stuck" others. He was helping HIMSELF even if neither he nor the mud-stuck 2 knew it. IMO, its an example of self-less Being doing what's right FOR ITSELF and that cannot happen when someone is ruled by their EGO. It is possible that the two who were "saved" had active egos but the main character, the young guy who laid down on the mud as a climbing board for the stuck once's to pry them selves out of the mud, is obviously NOT dominated by an ego or Shame at that moment. And more to the point, after succeeding, this SELF-LESS young guy walks away with no reward or praise because there is NO EGO in him to want or demand it! He is a perfect example of innocent, open, empty Awareness appearing to be a living person or body/mind.
This video should be shown all over the world, in every home and on every street corner so others can have a practical example of EGO-LESS behavior.

[jimrich]

Lot's of folks believe that "Toxic Shame" is a psychological issue and has no place in Spirituality yet, toxic shame, like the ego, absolutely pervades the modern world. Primitive cultures are far less hampered by toxic shame - a particularly modern and "civilized" form of egoic sickness.
I ride the L.A. metro from time to time and the evidence of blistering Toxic Shame is all through those depressing trains. Sick and Shamed egos cover the Metro system like a Plague!

[Rich]

Posted by jimrich (here)
Shame simply tells you that you are no damned good or defective and there is NOTHING that can be done about it. You just are BAD, WRONG and Shameful.

That’s why we must always think that we are as God created us and we are eternally perfect and unchanging, the shame/guilt comes from identifying as something other than Love.

Trouble is we do not believe in Love in the first place, if Love exists it must prove itself, right?
It does, yet how can we see it if we choose the opposite?
Love makes no distinction of who is to be loved and who isn’t, that would not be Love at all.

[zen deik]

The hardest one to forgive is yourself ,for real or imagined wrongs....

[The Freedom Train]

Thank you Jim! Blame and Shame is indeed a major campaign for controlling the population and keeping them from realizing their potential, freeing themselves from suffering. Thank you for your excellent post!