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Thread: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

  1. Link to Post #181
    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by Whisper (here)
    I am on a one way road....forwards. Did run around in a constant circle long enough.
    Good for you, Whisper. Happy to know things worked out and you're onto creating new chapters.


    Last edited by RunningDeer; 21st October 2019 at 04:27.

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    United States Avalon Member Whisper's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Here is something, which might be helpful for others also...

    Breaking word curses that come from spouse and family members...


    a powerful prayer....

    Last edited by Whisper; 24th October 2019 at 05:37.

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    No Contact Rules After Breakup - Narcissistic Relationship Recovery
    (Who Made This Up?)
    (13:41 minutes)
    “…the worst part is because of the addiction factor and all this other stuff. We find ourselves afraid to walk away or unwilling to walk away from these abusers.

    Why does that happen? Love, in general, affects the same part of the brain as any other kind of drug. and when we’re talking about a toxic relationship, we almost become stuck directly to that partner by our own brains. This is where our brain betrays us in keeping us safe and healthy.

    So this is something we need to remember when we're going through no contact. It’s sort of like detox for us in a way. And in fact, some people if they do go no contact they will almost feel physical withdrawals much like an addict of drugs or alcohol would feel.”

    What is the no contact rule exactly?

    When we're talking about narcissus the no contact rule means you don't see that person. You don't speak to that person. You don’t visit that person. You don't send gifts. You don't call them. Basically what that comes down to is that when you go into contact with a narcissist. You end all contact with that person.

    #1 You stop taking the narcissists phone calls.
    #2 You block them on social media networks.
    #3 You do not encourage or schedule visits with them.
    #4 You stop seeing, speaking to and otherwise interacting with the narcissist.

    Now if you have children together this might be slightly different … (continued)
    Angie Atkinson YouTube

    Last edited by RunningDeer; 27th October 2019 at 17:26.

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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    The narcissist is a person who looks out for themselves and considers everything from their personal perspective only. Most of the population have narcissistic tendencies. They can empathize with others just fine but their focus is the self.

    A sociopath is a narcissist on steroids, fully and only focused on themselves to the exclusion of others. A sociopath has limited ability to empathize with the plight of another. This is the gateway to pathology.

    A psychopath cannot empathize. This is full on pathology.


    By commandeering the word narcissist it makes the entire modern world pathological and in need of therapy. Which is fine with me because it needs therapy. But if the word is usurped and a fine line drawn, what is the pathology of the world to be called?

    (in my estimation, there is no difference between a controlling person in love with themselves to the exclusion of others and the average person in society bent on 'making it in the world' at any cost)

    Personally, I will not accept this definition of narcissism because I don't want to let the world of the hook. We are all narcissists to one degree or another. It is normal in this society. Let's call these misfits who destroy the lives of their loved ones what they are - sociopaths, and let's not mince words about it - they are sick and in dire need of help!
    Forget about it

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  9. Link to Post #185
    United States Avalon Member Ayt's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
    The narcissist is a person who looks out for themselves and considers everything from their personal perspective only. Most of the population have narcissistic tendencies. They can empathize with others just fine but their focus is the self.

    A sociopath is a narcissist on steroids, fully and only focused on themselves to the exclusion of others. A sociopath has limited ability to empathize with the plight of another. This is the gateway to pathology.

    A psychopath cannot empathize. This is full on pathology.


    By commandeering the word narcissist it makes the entire modern world pathological and in need of therapy. Which is fine with me because it needs therapy. But if the word is usurped and a fine line drawn, what is the pathology of the world to be called?

    (in my estimation, there is no difference between a controlling person in love with themselves to the exclusion of others and the average person in society bent on 'making it in the world' at any cost)

    Personally, I will not accept this definition of narcissism because I don't want to let the world of the hook. We are all narcissists to one degree or another. It is normal in this society. Let's call these misfits who destroy the lives of their loved ones what they are - sociopaths, and let's not mince words about it - they are sick and in dire need of help!
    Amazing, Ernie. I think you have put your finger on the unease that stirs in me when I see how randomly the narcissist label is being tossed about these days. It may actually directly coincide with the level of consciousness expansion an individual has reached. A narrow range of vision can earn the label of this "illness" on most of us, I guess.

    (another label that is also tossed about too much these days, I suspect, is that of passive-agressive.)
    Last edited by Ayt; 27th October 2019 at 18:38. Reason: additional thought
    "We're all bozos on this bus"

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Defense Against the Psychopath

    This is a repost of an empowering 37 minute video divided into 4 sections. An outline is provided below with time stamp. It provides knowledge and tools on how to prevent psychopaths from surreptitiously controlling your life.

    The narrator explains that there are two choices in dealing with them: attack or evade. In attack, you need to be in a power position with support to back you. With evasion, avoid them if possible. It's best to remember that they can't be saved. In fact, empathy and pity would only enrage them.
    Part One:

    Key Characteristics @ 1:41
    • Lack of Empathy
    • Lack of Remorse
    • Superficiality
    • Grandiosity
    • Irresponsibility
    • Impulsive Behavior
    • Compulsive Lying
    • Manipulative
    • Anti-Social Behavior

    Part Two:

    Common Types of Psychopaths @ 10:30
    • Narcissists
    • The Victim
    • Con Artists
    • Malevolent Psychopaths
    • Professional Psychopaths
    • Secondary Psychopaths

    Part Three:

    Method of Operation @ 24:38
    • The Interview
    • The Seduction
    • Divide and Conquer
    • Fear and Tyranny

    Part 4:

    Defense Against a Psychopath @ 30:06
    • Facing Evil
    • Recognition
    • What Not To Do
    • Attack
    • Evade

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    United States Avalon Member Whisper's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Last edited by Whisper; 3rd November 2019 at 05:15.

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How we ALL enable TOXIC people
    Nov 8, 2019

    DoctorRamani


    Sometimes I have felt like Avalon's policies toward toxic people has been too lenient, though it does seem like unsubscribing toxic people and those who don't fit the guidelines has stepped up recently, for which I am grateful!
    It's all about maintaining good boundaries, which is absolutely necessary.
    Some of us have to learn that the hard way (empaths especially!), but it doesn't have to be hard once we see the sense of it.
    Last edited by onawah; 10th November 2019 at 21:57.
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    How we ALL enable TOXIC people
    Nov 8, 2019

    DoctorRamani

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    Last edited by Deux Corbeaux; 11th November 2019 at 20:36.

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    I see a lot of light coming from her eyes.
    Very unlike the flat, dull, expressionless eyes that I have seen in narcissists.
    For empaths who tend to take on the toxic energy of narcissists and other toxic people and are thereby diminished, I think her messages are quite empowering.
    And power is a good thing when it is used to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
    Quote Posted by Deux Corbeaux (here)

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    And here's another very informative, sensible and helpful talk from Dr. Ramani
    How to fight fire with grace
    10/14/19
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    I see a lot of light coming from her eyes.
    Very unlike the flat, dull, expressionless eyes that I have seen in narcissists.
    For empaths who tend to take on the toxic energy of narcissists and other toxic people and are thereby diminished, I think her messages are quite empowering.
    And power is a good thing when it is used to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
    Quote Posted by Deux Corbeaux (here)

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    If Dr. Ramani works for you, it's Ok. Her messages are informative and helpful. Just as Sam Vaknin's messages are. Many roads lead to Rome.

    One just has to feel comfortable with the energy of the person that is bringing the message. For me .... sometimes it's reading the stare of the eyes that makes me feel uncomfortable, the other time it's the tone of the voice ......
    Last edited by Deux Corbeaux; 12th November 2019 at 13:20. Reason: clarity

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Dr. Gabor Mate Authenticity vs. Attachment
    May 14, 2019

    Phil Borges
    CRAZYWISE Conversations: Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment

    Gabor Maté, M.D. takes a special interest in early childhood trauma and the potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health. Here he discusses the conflict children and adults often face staying true to their authenticity while potentially jeopardizing their important relationships.

    Dr. Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and attempts to address this in their recovery. His book In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts discusses the types of trauma experienced by those suffering from addiction and how this affects their decision-making later in life."


    R GABOR MATÉ - CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CREATES ADDICTION - Part 1/2 | London Real
    Premiered Jan 6, 2019


    FREE FULL EPISODES: https://londonreal.tv/episodes

    "Dr Gabor Maté, the renowned speaker, physician and author.

    He has written many, bestselling books including

    In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction, which is based on his findings, from twelve years practicing medicine, in Vancouver’s most concentrated area of drug users.

    He is also known for his expertise on childhood trauma, stress, and the mind-body connection. His work reframes how we view all human development."

    Watch the FULL EPISODE here:
    https://londonreal.tv/e/gabor-mate/



    (Not squarely on topic, but related to how to heal from abuse. sometimes the greatest insights and wisdom come from "wounded healers", which Dr. Mate admits to being.)
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    I am a narcissist-buster. And I use similar techniques that they use and so I am often confused for one. And sometimes I forget my own role and identify as one.

    I have watched narcissists take down entire companies with their antics. I have lost jobs because of them. So many functions were ruined by them but not because of them - because of me! I would ruin the function to ruin their holding court over the attendees, basking in their importance.

    I have warned those in power of the potential disruption by the newest narcissist only to loose my own position instead. And that I am later proved right only aggravated my own standing in the company, and did not improve it forcing me eventually to move on.

    Narcissists have no talent and use bluster to conceal that fact. It is only smoke and mirrors they concoct to look good but it is the capitulation of those who they encounter that allow the narcissist to excel.

    But again, to demonize the most common element in this society as an aberration is not productive and only serves to confuse because the narcissist must be dealt with by courageous individuals who must use the same techniques against them as are used by the narcissist.
    Forget about it

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  29. Link to Post #195
    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Snippets from Dr. Ramani Q&A Live Stream - November 14th

    Comment on reaching 100,000 subscribers:
    There's at least a hundred thousand people out there I am now more confident are gonna get information about narcissism and why that's so important to me is because I think that that's what disempowers them. The more people that get this, the better off we're going to be. Because the more people who like we don't want people to enable them.

    That’s a big way narcissists get their power. They’re enabled. We let them in too far in the gate because we gave them second chances and they had a tough backstory. Abuse is abuse. That's what we've got to remember. You don’t have to be cruel. You can be compassionate but you don't need to be someone’s punching bag.
    Some of the Q&A’s:
    What can my son expect when he goes to visit his narcissistic father and his stepmother with borderline personality?
    He can expect to not be seen to not be listened to to give him realistic expectations so your son doesn't wonder like what's wrong with me. Make it so your son doesn't feel like he has to keep trying harder and harder and harder. That’s what breaks people with narcissistic parents is that they spend their entire childhood jumping through hoops trying to please the narcissistic parent and ending up in adulthood feeling like they can't please anyone in the world and feeling isolated and lonely. You can say to him…
    Why do covert narcissists withhold affection?
    They ain't got a lot to give. Covert narcissists are so stuck in being victims and constantly monitoring your environment, thinking who's out to get me, why did you say that, being hypersensitive, being almost paranoid. Because of that, forget affection. They’re really bad at intimacy because if anything as soon as they start getting close to someone they feel even more vulnerable they feel even more victimized and they'll often withhold affection…
    How can I help my mother who's a victim of my dad who's a narcissist?
    It can be devastating to watch a parent wither on the vine in front of you. Especially if it was a mom who did her best to try to be there for you, to protect you, to give you some consistency but watch the life get squeezed out of her.

    This is actually in some ways a simple answer let her know you love her and also let her know you see that this hasn't been easy for her. You don't have to give her solutions. You don't have to fix it. You don't have to make a grand pronouncement you need to leave. But say I know this has been hard for you and thank you for everything you did for me. As a mother that might be enough for your mom to know cuz she sure as hell isn't being seen and heard by your dad. But if she’s seen and heard by you that could give her the energy and maybe even the call to life that she needs to keep pushing forward.
    Did you hear about what are called highly sensitive persons?
    Yes now let’s make something very clear here. There are some people out there when I talk about the hypersensitivity of narcissism I come into it as sort of more of a toxic space where the person is always interpreting harm that other people are saying like: Why'd you say that to me? Why'd you look at me like that? It's always very conflictual.

    But in some cases for the highly sensitive person this is a pattern we might see for example in people who are incredibly incredibly empathic people we might term as empaths and as a result they actually may take a harder hits from the narcissist.

    But I'll also say this the real real risk of the empaths is that they give too many second chances. They take in too much of the narcissist pain. They take in too much of the narcissist toxicity and they are not able to advocate for themselves as well as they can.

    The most important thing for an empath to recognize that that sensitivity. When given to a worthy recipient is wonderful but to be careful to not hand it over to the lowest bidder namely the narcissist.
    Could I’ve been wrong about this all along could I be the narcissist?
    Anytime somebody asks if there's a narcissist that that's always a good sign. Here’s the deal, if you have contempt for other people, if you have contempt for closeness, you find yourself rolling your eyes when people are saying things you think are ignorant either you're too smart for them catch yourself…
    Do narcissists truly let go of their ex-partner if they don’t have a new supply?
    That is a fantastic question because actually the answer to that is not really they need that supply. They keep all their ex partners in their phone because when they burn the bridge with a new partner they’ll come back to you. It’s like a warehouse of human beings that they keep getting supply from…
    What about narcissistic parents who control their finance and their children financially even into adulthood and how to get out from their grasp?
    Narcissistic parents definitely use money. They weaponize money. Money becomes loved in those family systems. It’s really like again the scapegoat often doesn't get the money. The golden child gets more of the money. The children fight about the money. You paid for her wedding. You should pay for my law school. There’s a lot of that and the parents almost like it. Like it's like watching a gladiator game trying to watch your kids sort of tear themselves apart over the money and it gives the parents a lot of power.

    The best thing the best thing you could ever do if you had narcissistic parents who use money to control is become financially independent because that takes all of their power away….

    The thing you can get out of that is so much better than money which is your freedom and your pride and getting to call the shots it can feel very very good and could take a real mental toll on you when you become dependent on that psychological sort of hijacking that comes up narcissistic parents do with money…
    I've seen over a dozen therapist but I haven't found closure to my pain. Do people like me ever recover?
    …People in narcissistic relationships don't ever get real closure. You are never gonna get that moment with the narcissist when they say you know I get it. I wasn't there. I wasn't right. I didn't treat you right. I invalidated you etc etc.

    And you finally feel heard. You will never get that moment you will never get the deathbed confession. the closure has to come from you. And the closure comes from “I got out of this”. You are not defined by your abuse but you can be defined by leaving your abuse.
    Do you think a person should leave the narcissistic parents house it? Would be really hard for me but I am so unhappy here.
    I would never want someone to have to live in an unsafe living circumstance because of leaving a setting. But I gotta tell you in some ways living with a narcissistic parent as an adult isn't safe living circumstance and that it's unsafe for your mental health.

    If you can think about like what are the sacrifices I’ll have to make? What are the gains? You might say, “I could be pretty content in one room if I am not listening to nightly criticism. “
    Dr. Ramani Live Stream - November 14th (19 minutes)

    Last edited by RunningDeer; 15th November 2019 at 20:19.

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How to slow down the video for easy listening:
    • Some of the speakers talk fast. Click the settings dial at the bottom, right of the video and change the playback speed.





    Where to find the video transcript:
    • Auto-generated transcripts, is a time saver and a good way to grab info especially when summaries aren't provided.
    • Click on the three dots and then click 'open transcript'. It may take the transcript to process if the video newly loaded.




    • Toggle to the no time stamp and cut and paste to speed read, review or click on specific topics. Note: the whole page copies when you cut and paste.

    • You may need to click on “hide chat” so you can see the transcript.
    Last edited by RunningDeer; 15th November 2019 at 21:13.

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Some recent videos from VItal Mind Psychology:
    Becoming An Emotionally Mature Empath
    7/23/19


    11/23/19
    How to Heal Your Inner Child


    The Empath's Four Self States
    Jul 11, 2019


    What is an Empath?
    7/1/19
    Last edited by onawah; 17th November 2019 at 05:08.
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  35. Link to Post #198
    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    The paradox of the HAPPY FAMILY and the NARCISSIST
    11/11/19


    This hit home, not because I came from a happy family but because it really makes me cringe when I see such a person naively making themselves vulnerable to attack from narcissists and other disturbed individuals.
    How to contribute to their awareness of the untenable position they've put themselves in without appearing to be nothing more than a very cynical person with a negative view of the world?
    Last edited by onawah; 18th November 2019 at 21:13.
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Dr. Todd Grande is wayyyyy ahead of most online experts. I'd really like this fellow to get more traction on Youtube. His information is dense, but explicit, leaving little margin for error.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19RHMZH2Nh4

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Ernie,

    Agree with your point. We live in a Narcissitic age and behavior that would have been viewed as deeply pathological just twenty years ago, is now 'normal.' Probably a feature of rampant insecurity on a cultural level with those who are actual pathological types achieving dominance. Sad and sick situation and maybe linked to increased population, family breakdown, over indulging children and or ignoring them altogether, personal tech, etc...etc... cancer stage of capitalism.

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