Lessons To Be Learned...The Special Relationship

[Grizz Griswold]

Hello Everyone,
It's been a while since I've posted anything.

I would appreciate any input on this subject.
It seems to me that as long as we are in physical form,
there are Lessons to be learned. I believe that no one
in physical form knows it all...this especially includes
myself.

A Course In Miracles...Describes the "Special Relationship"
as the one block remaining between us and God..."The One Holdout"
The One whether being in a relationship or in marriage...that we
would place before our Creator...

The Course says the Special Relationship is usually experienced as a Love/Hate
Relationship and usually is conflicted...but has the possibility... with two who
are near the same level...of becoming the closest thing to Heaven and Our
Creator.

Please join me in this discussion.
barry

[Kristin]

Nice to see you posting Grizz. I have found that when I am in the most emotional pain it is due to the depth of love that I feel for the person whom is involved with this pain. The greater the love for the person the deeper the wound. I've managed through a great deal of personal healing to find the humanity in said person and to humanize them, give them a history, find a place of empathy. This does not mean that the relationship is healed, rather that through interpersonal investigation (and seeing my part in the play) it is possible to heal myself. I have also found that one can not heal another, they need to do the work themselves.

[barneythez]

Ok, I'll give it a shot.....
I think, that kingdom of heaven lies within. Relationships help, and sometimes distract.
Know thyself.
No, I'm not trying to be religious. There are very few quotes I take from the Bible, and it might not be verbatim, but you get the hint.
Hopefully someday I can speak with experience.

[Grizz Griswold]

Ditto...Kristin
I see You have practical experience in what We are speaking of. Lol
In the middle of this we can be in gut wrenching pain...Yet we can stand back
and look again from the safety of Love and the pain lessens, and we understand
everything is alright...eventually we smile again...

Everything brings us lessons for our benefit...though we may not feel benefit at the time.

I believe the Healing is done by our Creator but We cannot be healed, without our own Willingness

Loved Your post Kristin
barry

[Grizz Griswold]

Posted by barneythez (here)
Ok, I'll give it a shot.....
I think, that kingdom of heaven lies within. Relationships help, and sometimes distract.
Know thyself.
No, I'm not trying to be religious. There are very few quotes I take from the Bible, and it might not be verbatim, but you get the hint.
Hopefully someday I can speak with experience.

The Kingdom is within!...problem is trying to see the Kingdom within each other.
That's where all the problems start and lessons learned.
barneythez...thanks for your comment

barry

[Kristin]

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
Ditto...Kristin
I see You have practical experience in what We are speaking of. Lol
In the middle of this we can be in gut wrenching pain...Yet we can stand back
and look again from the safety of Love and the pain lessens, and we understand
everything is alright...eventually we smile again...

Everything brings us lessons for our benefit...though we may not feel benefit at the time.

I believe the Healing is done by our Creator but We cannot be healed, without our own Willingness

Loved Your post Kristin
barry

I do indeed, the best healing tears are when the good memories and good times can then be appreciated and thought of once more. We are complicated beings and I do not think our creator left us without a tool box.

From the Heart,
Kris

[Grizz Griswold]

Posted by Kristin (here)

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
Ditto...Kristin
I see You have practical experience in what We are speaking of. Lol
In the middle of this we can be in gut wrenching pain...Yet we can stand back
and look again from the safety of Love and the pain lessens, and we understand
everything is alright...eventually we smile again...

Everything brings us lessons for our benefit...though we may not feel benefit at the time.

I believe the Healing is done by our Creator but We cannot be healed, without our own Willingness

Loved Your post Kristin
barry

I do indeed, the best healing tears are when the good memories and good times can then be appreciated and thought of once more. We are complicated beings and I do not think our creator left us without a tool box.

From the Heart,
Kris

I Love It Kris...when You speak from the Heart, you'll never tell a lie.

Thank You so much
b

[Guish]

Hi Brother,

We want reality to be X when reality is Y. That's the main cause of suffering. We have to accept things as they are as we try to do our best to fix things we can fix. Speaking of relationships, my Wife had a serious chat with me the other day claiming that she's frustrated with me because I'm too calm and she wants someone who is attached, gets angry to spice things up. You see, all you can do is do your best and leave the rest. This is heaven.

I'm not sure what is your context as it's been a while since we talked to each other.

Cheers,
Geerish.

[joeecho]

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
Hello Everyone,
It's been a while since I've posted anything.

I would appreciate any input on this subject.
It seems to me that as long as we are in physical form,
there are Lessons to be learned. I believe that no one
in physical form knows it all...this especially includes
myself.

A Course In Miracles...Describes the "Special Relationship"
as the one block remaining between us and God..."The One Holdout"
The One whether being in a relationship or in marriage...that we
would place before our Creator...

The Course says the Special Relationship is usually experienced as a Love/Hate
Relationship and usually is conflicted...but has the possibility... with two who
are near the same level...of becoming the closest thing to Heaven and Our
Creator.

Please join me in this discussion.
barry

Good to hear from you again, Grizz!

The "one block" is superficial however in the physical realm it can seem, much of the time, impenetrable. Perception is exceptional at testing faith.

"Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." -- Bill Hicks

Meditate on what you asked along with the Bill Hicks quote above and I wager insight forth coming.

[greybeard]

Your brother your killer.
That which gives you pleasure gives you pain
Everything two sides of the same coin.
It would seem that you cant have one without the other

Because some one gives us pleasure we have expectation that this will continue---everything fluctuates.
Nothing including our expectation, our emotions, are constant, that's down to the persona--the actor that claims to be us
The only constant is Self..
In my twenties there was extreme jealousy--well founded, rejection--alcoholic misery, suicidal attempt, blaming--why me after all I was a good husband in my estimation.

This led to AA ---spiritual path--Course in Miracles--acceptance--study of non-duality--the acceptance that people for one reason or an other cant help what they do--conditioning, genes, chemical dependence, whatever--they are not themselves.

No matter the spiritual understanding the human body--persona is subject to pleasure and pain--same vehicle different results.
There is acceptance that as long as I am in a body there will be human action and reaction and the same goes for every "other". No one to blame, though blaming or forgiving is all part of being human.

Chris

[Baby Steps]

Two guys sitting in a park...one spends his days thinking hard about how to clear the bins, and keep the park tidy. The other one, is planning to move a million people to mars, and save the planet's energy industry.

they get on well, but the rubbish guy cannot figure out why the industrialist would spend time chatting with lowly old him. He struggles to empathise fully with the suited character, but, still, they have lovely chats.

One day, he asks him - 'why would you sit here with me passing a few pleasant minutes chatting, I am nobody, I have achieved little, I know little - why bother with me?'

The suited guy replied' Don't think like that, there are infinite ways that a human soul can decide to experience their journey through this reality. The life you have is full of gifts and learning. Nobody can judge you, or the choices you have made until they have walked a thousand miles in your shoes.'

The rubbish guy thought about it- he could see the sincerity in his eyes. The rubbish guy started to realise, that truly the suited guy did not judge him and his life. The chats in the park were about mutual respect and cooperation. He took a deep breath and sat back.

'Let's go for a beer...'

[Omi]

Hello Grizz Griswold, or shall I call you Barry?
Thanks for starting this thread, I've been pondering upon some of the things you've mentioned in your OP.

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
the Special Relationship is usually experienced as a Love/Hate
Relationship and usually is conflicted...but has the possibility... with two who
are near the same level...of becoming the closest thing to Heaven and Our
Creator.

As you mention the 'possibility', I'm reminded that anything is possible.
I like to keep an open mind - it gives me a sense of freedom and liberation.

It's even possible that two similar leveled souls unite to become the furthest away from God.
There's probably more of this happening in our world than the right way around.

Love/ Hate in a relationship with another is imo lustful love with attachment
and other negative energies involved. Conflicts are everywhere around this world,
but oppositions, battles, separation, etc. do not necessarily have to become part of our personal lives.

Negative energies would subside when we seek to experience and understand
higher forms of love and the unity with another.

The purpose of the two in unity is what the Alchemical Wedding conveys us,
and what Tantra Yoga is really about.



Some questions:
-How can love be defined in a Special Relationship?
-Is our final destination where it's closest to Heaven and the Creator? If not, where?

Posted by Kristin (here)
I have found that when I am in the most emotional pain it is due to the depth of love that I feel for the person whom is involved with this pain. The greater the love for the person the deeper the wound. I've managed through a great deal of personal healing to find the humanity in said person and to humanize them, give them a history, find a place of empathy. This does not mean that the relationship is healed, rather that through interpersonal investigation (and seeing my part in the play) it is possible to heal myself. I have also found that one can not heal another, they need to do the work themselves.

Thanks Kristin for sharing your insights from your experiences.
I can relate very much to what you've mentioned about the relativity of emotional pain and the depth of love.

You seem to have made great personal healing works over some time.
Maybe this is one of the reasons why you'd feel that one cannot heal another..
If the theory of 'anything is possible' could be applied here as well,
perhaps it's possible that there are other ones who can help to let more healing to happen within us.
It just requires a certain amount of awareness in our waking consciousness to recognize this.
We're here to help each other and raise ourselves up, after all.

The key is how greatly one can feel compassion and gratitude towards another.
I am nowhere near the level of loving all beings and feeling blissful in enlightenment, but I keep working on it.

[Grizz Griswold]

Hi Chris,
In deepest appreciation for your input. I see you have an understanding of this post.
Non duality really doesn't allow for human interaction (non Duality/One) makes us
feel all warm and fuzzy inside...But let there be a problem with That one "Special Relationship" Yep We already have the one in mind...
and everything goes down the drain...Non dual be damned! and we are slammed back down to earth
hard.

The reason A Course In Miracles calls it ...The one hold out...keeping us from God..
Yet Given over to God it can be the last step to Heaven or Realization.

Wonderful Speaking with You again Chris
barry

[Grizz Griswold]

[QUOTE=Omi;1169024]Hello Grizz Griswold, or shall I call you Barry?
Thanks for starting this thread, I've been pondering upon some of the things you've mentioned in your OP.

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
the Special Relationship is usually experienced as a Love/Hate
Relationship and usually is conflicted...but has the possibility... with two who
are near the same level...of becoming the closest thing to Heaven and Our
Creator.

Some questions:
-How can love be defined in a Special Relationship?
-Is our final destination where it's closest to Heaven and the Creator? If not, where

I don't believe Love can be defined in a Special Relationship...in Truth Love can't be defined at all, and is beyond definition.
The Special Relationship...The Love/Hate Relationship is a block between us and our Creator.

Yet as The Course says: However given over to God/Creator, the entire Universe joins in...and we have oneness...non duality.

Some here may not be in a Special Relationship, maybe there is someone in their life, they have not forgiven, again a holdout.
We have endless opportunities, to see God in our Brother. When we see God in our Brother we can see Him in our selves.

Thanks Omi...for Your post
Perhaps I have raised more questions
than given answers...that is my intention.

Much Love
b

[greybeard]

Looking at it from a different perspective
There is nothing but atoms in movement --energy
Opposites can attract--or like minded.
An attraction is founded---You can have a room full of males and females, but the eyes meet, a special relationship is in the making." This is the one for me"

We all change, ok if we grow together.

The body is the receptacle of energy--the chakras are communication devices, they transmit and receive --energy in movement---"e-motion".
The body contains these emotions and one can carry "baggage" from past experiences--relationships.

One can logically re program the mind but the body does not necessarily release the past easily.
Energy therapies like bio-energy can help.

Anyway special relationships can become very demanding---- "I have to be the priority"
By there very nature they separate.

Wayne Dyer defined ego as Edge God Out

ACIM quote Specialness is the last resort of the ego.

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is worth a read.

Relationships are fraught with peril --however it is as it is.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
Wisdom to know the difference


Ive rambled a bit.
Good to see you here Bary.

Ch

[Omi]

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)

Some questions:
-How can love be defined in a Special Relationship?
-Is our final destination where it's closest to Heaven and the Creator? If not, where

I don't believe Love can be defined in a Special Relationship...in Truth Love can't be defined at all, and is beyond definition.
The Special Relationship...The Love/Hate Relationship is a block between us and our Creator.

Yet as The Course says: However given over to God/Creator, the entire Universe joins in...and we have oneness...non duality.

Some here may not be in a Special Relationship, maybe there is someone in their life, they have not forgiven, again a holdout.
We have endless opportunities, to see God in our Brother. When we see God in our Brother we can see Him in our selves.

Thanks Omi...for Your post
Perhaps I have raised more questions
than given answers...that is my intention.

Much Love
b

Indeed, love is beyond words. We cannot describe it as it's one of the more subtle energies that we feel with our higher senses.
Words are limited to express how we experience such things as love, perhaps it shows the extent of our human understanding of it.

There are some people who do not have anyone existing in this world at this moment whom they could be in a special relationship with, which is okay.
If there's someone in their life that they haven't forgiven yet, perhaps they have certain aspects of themselves which they haven't forgiven yet.
I agree - when we see God in another, we can see Him in ourselves.

Thanks for your further insights Barry
One question leads to another, good to converse and share thoughts about.
Wonderful to connect with you.

Omi

[Ernie Nemeth]

Unconditional love is the cornerstone of the Course In Miracles. It is stated in the text that love is beyond the teaching of the book. The course is focussed on the blocks to love and the errors in our thinking and behavior as a result.

Unconditional love can be practised but it is not attainable on this side of the veil. It is the experience of love that leads to its correction. It is the disassociation with the ego that leads to right-mindedness.

Only by transforming the special relationship can love be freed. But without the special relationship there is no chance at all of breaking through to the other side. The other side being the bridge that Christ consciousness has constructed. Christ sees no one as special, for only ego sees difference where there is none.

The special relationship is the beginning, if brought to HS, of a new way of experiencing life. It transcends the ego barrier of opposites and corrects the error at its source.

[Michelle Marie]

Posted by Grizz Griswold (here)
Hello Everyone,
It's been a while since I've posted anything.

I would appreciate any input on this subject.
It seems to me that as long as we are in physical form,
there are Lessons to be learned. I believe that no one
in physical form knows it all...this especially includes
myself.

A Course In Miracles...Describes the "Special Relationship"
as the one block remaining between us and God..."The One Holdout"
The One whether being in a relationship or in marriage...that we
would place before our Creator...

The Course says the Special Relationship is usually experienced as a Love/Hate
Relationship and usually is conflicted...but has the possibility... with two who
are near the same level...of becoming the closest thing to Heaven and Our
Creator.

Please join me in this discussion.
barry

I've seen these as part of the awakening process. I call these relationships-- the ones that push all of your buttons, can't seem to escape til it's over, and often comes after a dark night of the soul experience -- ascension buddies. They kick your butt, but are good for your soul. Major test? I don't know, but a recognized part of the awakening process. Seeing life as a mirror and facing one's shadow side -- seems like it is evolutionary to the soul. Not easy, but essential.

I had my own experience and have witnessed these "ascension buddy" relationships that others have. Unconditional love as an intention could bring it forth. One learns to love ones Self unconditionally!

Everything passes...

The New is clearly on the horizon.

Best Love to All,
MM

[Omi]

Posted by greybeard (here)
Looking at it from a different perspective
There is nothing but atoms in movement --energy
Opposites can attract--or like minded.
An attraction is founded---You can have a room full of males and females, but the eyes meet, a special relationship is in the making." This is the one for me"

We all change, ok if we grow together.

The body is the receptacle of energy--the chakras are communication devices, they transmit and receive --energy in movement---"e-motion".
The body contains these emotions and one can carry "baggage" from past experiences--relationships.

One can logically re program the mind but the body does not necessarily release the past easily.
Energy therapies like bio-energy can help.

Anyway special relationships can become very demanding---- "I have to be the priority"
By there very nature they separate.

Wayne Dyer defined ego as Edge God Out

ACIM quote Specialness is the last resort of the ego.

The book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is worth a read.

Relationships are fraught with peril --however it is as it is.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
Wisdom to know the difference


Ive rambled a bit.
Good to see you here Bary.

Ch

This post puts a big smile on my face - brings back a lot of good memories.

Everything is energy, always in motion - changing from one form to another.
Some resonate better with certain others, some not.

If the special relationship becomes too demanding, what is there about it
that makes the relationship special, is it the love/ hate?

Perhaps when things go beyond the physical, emotional, or mental,
the souls recognize themselves as how they are in original form -
and what's experienced with another in a way that moves the soul -
all we're doing is giving more value to the quality of it that resonates well with us.

If we take a step back and look at the bigger picture,
everything has equal importance and value -
then there's no need to say what is special or not.

The one in particular that you focus more of your energy to connect with
is only special in comparison to the others.

From my experience, I feel it's a true blessing to have.
It's humbling, healing, purifying.

Thanks for this Chris

[Grizz Griswold]

Here's a little Quote..That may me relative to the thread.

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”
― Richard Bach

Lessons to be learned usually come forth as problems.
The only problem we have is: realizing we are not separate from God. Here on Earth we have unlimited opportunities
to see God/Creator....We see God/Creator in our Brothers. As We see our Brother We see Ourselves and God.

I hope this spurs more discussion
I appreciate each and every post.

Much Love
b