When did the light go on for you?

[Ernie Nemeth]

Thanks Happyuk,

This was the last poem in the series. It sums up what this presence relayed to me and that I have been struggling with ever since:

THE CALLING


Cast adrift among my peers,
My forlorn calls no one hears.
Alone and separate, awash in sins,
This is where the tale begins.

I pull my hair and pound my chest,
But I cannot end my lifelong quest,
The grail I seek at any cost? –
The fragile truth, easily lost.

Among the words, between the lines,
There is a hint, there are some signs.
The golden thread that binds them all,
I cannot find, I don’t recall.

The years go by and still I find,
I’m lesser than this task of mind.
My thoughts may fly and circle round,
But all lead back to zero ground.

Then a phrase, from some unknown source,
Suggests a path, a novel course.
The truth’s inside, the message said,
Forget your thoughts, just be instead.

That can’t be right, screamed out my brain,
What truth is there inside my pain?
No message heard or marvel scenes,
Could come from there, by any means.

Just be silent, relax my dear,
Don’t see your eye, don’t hear your ear,
Don’t feel your bones, don’t have a thought,
Don’t think about what you have sought.

Just be yourself, be with your Self,
This state promotes your soul’s good health.
Exist right now, in the present,
Be still, stay close, ride the moment.

And if by chance a thought should stray
Through your mind, just shoo it away.
Feel warm and safe, this is your home,
No matter how near or far you roam.

Be patient love, there is no hurry,
Release your hurt, give up your worry.
The guilty past, the future fear,
Neither one holds meaning here.

Now at last the truth be known,
With my gold thread the truth is sown.
Open your hearts, this is the cue,
Love is in every one of you

For I am you, don’t let me go,
‘Cause I am all you need to know.
Design your dreams, both big and small,
And we’ll create them, one and all.

It is when it got to "open your hearts" part that I thought I was about to be annihilated by love, with equal parts dreading the experience and another part yearning for it. The dread part won that night...I've regreted since what could have been. But after much contemplation I realize I was not ready, and I feel I still am not.
I did not come here to dispel the lie. I came here to experience it so that whatever my true reality is, I will not make the same mistake there.
This body, this reality, is nothing but a sham...

[TinFoilSuit]

Profound and beautiful. Thank you for this!

TFS

[Foxie Loxie]

Thanks for sharing, Jackson. Most unusual "awakening"! Ernie, indeed what you wrote IS profound & most worthy of introspection! What a unique thought, about not coming here to dispel the lie!!....but to experience it! I DO hope that we carry with us what we have experienced & learned in this short lifetime. The outlook you have makes it all seem more "bearable"!

[findingneo]

Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.

[Vangelo]

Ernie, your poem is extraordinarily beautiful. Regarding

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
It is when it got to "open your hearts" part that I thought I was about to be annihilated by love, with equal parts dreading the experience and another part yearning for it. The dread part won that night...I've regreted since what could have been. But after much contemplation I realize I was not ready, and I feel I still am not.
I did not come here to dispel the lie. I came here to experience it so that whatever my true reality is, I will not make the same mistake there.
This body, this reality, is nothing but a sham...

Here is an excerpt from The Inconsequential Child that you may find of interest.

"... I learned how to bring my self, or more precisely my emotional state, to a safe place of warmth, strength, and serenity. With an open heart chakra, you can experience life from the perspective of unconditional love. Experiencing an open heart chakra and learning how to experience life with unconditional love is a life-altering skill. With it, you are both able and willing to experience everything life has to offer, whether painful or wondrous, because you don’t need to protect yourself. With an open heart chakra, you know you can come to your heart center whenever you need too. As a result, your life experiences and memories are not automatically rejected or filtered. Instead, they are experienced in their purest form. Once experienced; you can see how your memories are impacting your life or the life of another. In this way, giving and receiving unconditional love becomes your norm. It does not mean, however, that you experience life through rose colored glasses. Quite the contrary. You can now see and experience all as it truly is, but without fear."

[Spiral]

Posted by findingneo (here)
Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.

Outside this solar system & this "density", not sure I want to go too far into that in public, I'll sound like a lunatic to some & a braggard to others, neither of which is that appealing.

[Vangelo]

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)

THE CALLING

Cast adrift among my peers,
My forlorn calls no one hears.
Alone and separate, awash in sins,
This is where the tale begins.

I pull my hair and pound my chest,
But I cannot end my lifelong quest,
The grail I seek at any cost? –
The fragile truth, easily lost.

Among the words, between the lines,
There is a hint, there are some signs.
The golden thread that binds them all,
I cannot find, I don’t recall.

The years go by and still I find,
I’m lesser than this task of mind.
My thoughts may fly and circle round,
But all lead back to zero ground.

Then a phrase, from some unknown source,
Suggests a path, a novel course.
The truth’s inside, the message said,
Forget your thoughts, just be instead.

That can’t be right, screamed out my brain,
What truth is there inside my pain?
No message heard or marvel scenes,
Could come from there, by any means.

Just be silent, relax my dear,
Don’t see your eye, don’t hear your ear,
Don’t feel your bones, don’t have a thought,
Don’t think about what you have sought.

Just be yourself, be with your Self,
This state promotes your soul’s good health.
Exist right now, in the present,
Be still, stay close, ride the moment.

And if by chance a thought should stray
Through your mind, just shoo it away.
Feel warm and safe, this is your home,
No matter how near or far you roam.

Be patient love, there is no hurry,
Release your hurt, give up your worry.
The guilty past, the future fear,
Neither one holds meaning here.

Now at last the truth be known,
With my gold thread the truth is sown.
Open your hearts, this is the cue,
Love is in every one of you

For I am you, don’t let me go,
‘Cause I am all you need to know.
Design your dreams, both big and small,
And we’ll create them, one and all.

Hi Ernie,

I've shared your poem with 4 people I thought would appreciate it. I have been surprised how much it has resonated with them. You have certainly touched a chord here.

[Noelle]

Posted by Spiral (here)

Posted by findingneo (here)
Hi Spiral, can you expand on your experiences of "The Elsewhere" please? Thank you.

Outside this solar system & this "density", not sure I want to go too far into that in public, I'll sound like a lunatic to some & a braggard to others, neither of which is that appealing.

No lunatics or braggards here on Avalon ... are there?

[Foxie Loxie]

That depends......

[Chester]

Posted by Jackson (here)
Hello everyone....

I had my great awakening one day while sitting in a very relaxed state, I realized that I was living in a box....a box? The box being my awareness of how life is. I looked up and saw that the box had a lid. I stood-up and looked out of the box and had a momentary look at ALL that existed. I could see everything in great detail.....everything. I sat down in my box again and my first thought was...."Jackson, you can never un-know what you just witnessed....." I also understood that I create my reality....100%. So....if that is the case, then I want it to be exactly like I want it to be.....every moment. It has not disappointed me. I took responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. I have had an amazing life playing Jackson. I am so happy I chose this avatar to come down and play this game of being human. Actually for me it was easy. I had a lot of practice before I got here. What a ride! I hope you enjoy yours.

This is fantastic to read... this is quite reflective of my own view too. I believe the key for me has been " I took responsibility for everything that has happened in my life." At every level of my being.

Also - "I create my reality....100%"

That has been so freeing and simultaneously so sobering. Yes, I still sometimes play the blame game but it never lasts long because I know I am "responsibility for everything that has happen(s) in my life."

[Chester]

This is a great thread... I just found this -

Ernie Nemeth - here

Documenting each milestone in the journey (so many so similar to my own except it was my Mom who I discovered lied and I was 5)...

and the poem - wow

and then this post - and poem.

This is true self honesty/self reflection.

[starlight]

This thread is a great read!

My "light" turned on after awakening from a particular dream believe it or not. In this dream, I met our creator or "source" as some would call it. We were in a bright room standing next to a massive oak tree- the most beautiful tree I have EVER seen! I telepathically asked to know everything my curious mind has sought to have answers to. Immediately I was granted access. I remember feeling ecstatic and truly free from the shackles of this prison. I knew it all... everything I have ever wanted to know about creation itself. I believe this was the true beginning point of my awakening.

I awoke to remember every detail about my dream except the 'forbidden knowledge' part. This frustrated me to no end! My thirst for answers sky rocketed and I found Project Avalon that morning. Safe to say I have not been the same since