David Deida, a teacher who talks about "manhood" and "womanhood" relationships too.

[Victoria Tintagel]

Hey Avaloneans, this thread is about manhood and womanhood, relationships too.
A subject we're all involved in See for yourself, if this interests you. Blessed be, Dutchess Tint.

http://www.deida.info/
About David Deida:
Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative spiritual teachers of our time, best-selling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His teachings and writings on a radically practical spirituality for our time have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to personal and spiritual growth currently available.

Known internationally for his unique workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy, Deida has designed and developed a remarkably effective program of transformative practices that addresses spiritual awakening in mind, body, and heart. He is a founding associate of Integral Institute and has taught and conducted research at the University of California Medical School in San Diego; University of California, Santa Cruz; San Jose State University; Lexington Institute, Boston; and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France.

Deida is known worldwide as the author of hundreds of essays, audiotapes, videotapes, articles, and books that bring to light an integral approach to spirituality. His books include the best-selling underground classic, The Way of the Superior Man; several practical texts on authentic sexual spirituality, including Finding God Through Sex and Blue Truth; and the autobiographical novel about highly unconventional spiritual training, Wild Nights.

David Deida's books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses, source texts used in men's and women's groups around the world, and are considered important resources for spiritual transformation and sacred sexuality by everyone from achievement coach Tony Robbins to philosopher Ken Wilber to minister and spiritual spokeswoman Marianne Williamson.

From Blue Truth by David Deida, Chapter 17
EXPRESS WHO YOU REALLY ARE Every desire reveals your true nature.

Every day you want to do many things, from hugging your lover to earning money. Why? What feeling underlies all your hopes and dreams? This feeling is the tension between who you really are and who you assume yourself to be.

Consider your desire for intimate relationship. There are many reasons for engaging in a relationship. But you only feel utterly fulfilled in intimacy when you and your lover trust each other so much that you are willing to let down your guards, open your hearts, and love. This is your deepest desire in intimacy because, in truth, you are open as love—but you assume yourself to be a separate, isolated individual. So you scheme and dream to experience in your relationship what, in truth, you already are.

You want to enjoy financial security because, in truth, you are abundance, although you assume only effort will provide a feeling of ease. You enjoy dangerous sports because in every moment you are at the edge of death—the ultimate edge of winning or losing—and yet your assumed security makes you seek risks. You want to eat chocolate because, deep in your heart, you are blissful fullness, though you often close to its pleasure and so seek its taste.

Through your daily round, you seek to approximate the truth of who you are that you have lost touch with. This drama of approximation is the story of your life. You never quite succeed like you hope to. You never quite get the love you really want. And so you either try harder or give up trying. In either case, you are missing the point of existence.

The open expression of who you really are is the only thing that will free you from the stress of feeling incomplete. In truth, you are what you want.

The farther you wander from who you truly are, the more you crave the qualities you miss. Since you can’t feel the love that lives you, you look to your lover to cherish you. Divorced from your home of unlimited openness, you seek to expand the sphere of your power, the size of your portfolio, the borders of your country. Desiring the freedom of inherent ease, you try to discharge stress through masturbation, conversation, and secret habits of release. You miss the simplicity of being, so you seek it in the warmth of a heroin rush, a fluffy bed, or a ritual cup of coffee.

At times, you fret over your appearance, seeking to find the radiance you truly are. You think to yourself constantly, providing a reflection of your own presence. Yet, in truth, you are utter presence, whether or not you reflect yourself by thinking.

Whenever you are ready, you can stop trying to find what you are precluding and start being who you are in truth. To surrender so completely to be who you are is terrifying—your self-image instantly vanishes. Yet it is the only way to live that is real. Otherwise, in every moment of missing who you truly are, you create a self-image that isn’t the real thing. You feel a lack. This tension of deficiency can wind into an intense twist of desire. Eventually, you can become quite warped.

Craving the depth that you miss, you may find yourself engaging in crime, lying, self-abuse, and terrorizing others—or perhaps just sitting in front of the TV and eating cookies. No matter how extreme or mediocre your misplaced efforts become, you can always open as your source. In the midst of stealing, for instance, you can open as the abundance of life-force that you are. How will you act as abundant fullness? Open as you are, your twist unwinds.

In your most wound-up, naughty moments of sicko indulgence, as well as in your common round of daily drudge, you are only missing who you truly are. Through years of moment-by-moment practice, you can open as every twist and hope. You can live open as love, alive as spontaneous blessing.

What you want is who you are. Open as you are without hesitation.

[shadowstalker]

Sadly when only one is open and the other is closed, then the divorce happens..

To me if you don't have your soulmate then it only an act anyway. Dogma reins all to much in this world.

If we can get people to open and be themselves then things would be awesome.
If we could get folks to stop rushing to find there mates it would be awesome.

I for one will get my divorce then take a long spiritual brake, if i am going to married again then it will happen, if not i am fine with that to. I myself can go either way.

P.S. I love your post.