Speechless

[Earth Angel]

you sure??? i really hope so ........Ive read quite a few posts and it really does seem like these people are NOT attempting HUMOUR.........there are way too many biblical quotes for that kind of messing around

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Ok, ok, everybody, REST YOUR MINDS AT EASE.

The entire website is a parody. A spoof. Do not be alarmed at the overwhelming stupidity, it is not for real. But it is really, really funny. What is not funny is there are plenty of people who wouldn't get the joke, and would take it as serious biblical discussion.

I looked at the FAQ page and to be honest, it really is not funny if that's what they are going for......I don't know what's worse....that people do think this way , or that people put this much effort into it if its just a joke.......I still dont know what to think

[nearing]

Where does it state this is a parody/satire?

[kingmonkey]

He is not the only one.......

http://theflatearthsociety.org/cms/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth_Society

Its people like this that give conspiracy theorists a bad name.....

[Vrilya]

That was so unbelievable shouldn't we be Christ like and send them a link to www.hiddenmeanings.com

Or would they consider that Blasphemy ??

Love and Blessings Always,
V

[Nomatic]

I checked this church on wikipedia and it is a satirical website and pretty funny actually!

[Neptun]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Ok, ok, everybody, REST YOUR MINDS AT EASE.

The entire website is a parody. A spoof. Do not be alarmed at the overwhelming stupidity, it is not for real. But it is really, really funny. What is not funny is there are plenty of people who wouldn't get the joke, and would take it as serious biblical discussion.

I think it is wishful thinking, that you think they made an irony joke, when they are some of the dumbest people, I have ever seen.

We in Denmark use heavy hidden sarcasm and irony. Americans don't do that without underlining it.

When I am around Americans, I have to block my irony/sarcasm humor center in my brain to understand American jokes. Maybe the irony humor center in my brain has been activated again. Who knows?

[PurpleLama]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0701/dating.html

Read this, from the main website, not the forum. Do you still believe this is not a joke? If so, you are obviously confused by Satan or possessed by a demon, or something. Pay special attention to the ads on the sides of the page.

1. COMB YOUR HAIR
Head lice are very common among Christian men, especially Pentecostals. Although it is a normal and natural blessing from God to have head lice, you should certainly wash your hair before your date if only for the reason to avoid the temptation of putting your arm around the young lady while lifting to scratch your head.

2. PRAY
Spend the day before your date with at least 6-hours of solitary prayer in a prayer-closet or a confined area. Ask the Lord to guide your words and actions. Ask Jesus to help you control your lust and pray that you will have a nightly emission before the date, thus making it easier for your carnal mind to operate on a level that is strictly spiritual. Do not masturbate in your prayer-closet unless you are thinking about Jesus. Click here for more detailed spiritual guidance on masturbation.

3. PURCHASE A RING
Visit a jewelry store and purchase a diamond ring. For the Christian man, every date is a potential mate. If she is the right gal, you will want to pop the question as soon as possible. It is always handy to have the engagement ring available.

4. RECITE VERSES
When you are on the date, use awkward moments of silence to quote scripture, or sing a favorite hymn. All women are impressed with such things. If she is not woo'd by this, it is a sign that she might be possessed by a demon. Take her to your church and drop her off by the back gate with a note to the pastor taped to her forehead. Be sure to secure her to a tree or post using chains or rope so that she won't get away during the night.

5. SPRUCE UP!
Wear Christian cologne. The only Christian cologne available is "Betty Bowers' The Essence Of Christian Men." If you do not have any Christian cologne, rub your face in a Bible until you smell like the pages.

6. TAKE HER TO VISIT GOD
The best place for a first date is church. Oh, how impressed your sweetheart will be when she finds out you are taking her to Sunday evening services! Then, a romantic dinner at Denny's!

7. GRILL HER FAITH
Use the time at the restaurant to find out if your sweetheart is really saved. Question her salvation at least 15 times. Make sure she knows the exact day and hour (and preferably the exact minute) she met Jesus.

8. SQUELCH YOUR PASSION
If you have not had a nightly emission before your date, make certain that you take extra precaution. Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney. If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

9. PRACTICE YOUR LINES
Some Christian phrases that will help you "woo" the lesser sex are, "I'm almost as crazy about you as I am about Jesus," "Your long hair is the glory of your humility (I Corinthians 11: 11-15)," and "God broke the mold when he made your sweet face."

10. KEEP THE PASSION SUPPRESSED
If the bandage work on your penis fails in the slightest bit, excuse yourself for the men's room and re-adjust the harnessing.

11. AVOID TOUCHING!
Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date. Even if she has said "yes" to marriage, it is highly recommended that you refrain from even holding hands for at least two years until the courtship is over and you are whisked away on your honeymoon!



Follow these dating tips for Christian men and you are sure to find a life partner that is suitable, submissive, and steadfast.

[Neptun]

PurpleLama,

Americans don't use hidden irony like we do us from Denmark.

It is wishful thinking. They are that stupid and you can't get accept it, so therefore you think they made it up.

That is very common among Christians that are serious about their religion:
11. AVOID TOUCHING!
Make certain that there is no personal contact (PC) on this first date. Even if she has said "yes" to marriage, it is highly recommended that you refrain from even holding hands for at least two years until the courtship is over and you are whisked away on your honeymoon!

[jorr lundstrom]

Giggling is really nice.............................and a good
belly laugh is even nicer.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Fc_-icFHwQo

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Fc_-icFHwQo


All is well


Jorr 2.0

[PurpleLama]

I think you are using some of that "hidden irony" on me right now. It must be a trick from the Devil, or from the Scientists.

*purplelama goes to wash his mouth out to get rid of the taste of the word "scientist" because it reminds him so much of the word "atheist"*

*upon further thought, every word ending in "-ist" might be a word meant by the devil to confuse us*

[Neptun]

jorr,

I think this one is even funnier than your crazy bird

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=f-Kt_kuYVtU

[Neptun]

PurpleLama,

Indeed. It was danish hidden irony humor light. Normally we would not indicate we are using irony.

Danes often make irony jokes that make you wonder if they really mean it or if it is irony. If you accidentally think, they really mean it and they used irony, they will laugh at you and you will feel very stupid and naive.

It is those types of games that keep us on our feet and alert all the time, because we can easy end up looking like fools.

I don't use hardcore danish irony humor on this site though.

[PurpleLama]

You better be careful around any magnets, with all that irony you have.

[miqeel]

Phew, thank Lord that its a spoof, its a good one, some of the posts are genuinely hillarious

[Neptun]

This is an old classic and the funniest youtube I have ever seen. I laughed for days when I thought about it.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ODMYcTJGRiY

===

[Mod-edit: some thought this video funny, and some thought it inappropriate. So I split the difference and made the link inactive. The Youtube title for this video is accurate enough: "Donkey humping man". -Paul]

[jorr lundstrom]

Some places its almost like ordering a pizza. No irony intended.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=t3Z8jmPRPUQ

https://youtube.com/watch?v=t3Z8j...feature=relmfu


All is well


Jorr 2.0

[Neptun]

jorr,

My GOD! It looks like danish irony to me. Hopefully!

This one is a real Swedish roadsign. The first one was rejected and replaced with a more doll one:


Both Denmark and Sweden have extreme feminists that are powergrabbing on all fronts. Now they want to have female roadsigns too.

Danish femi-nazi powergrab:
"Women have a whole floor to themselves at Danish hotel"
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles...h-hotel.400570

[Ernie Nemeth]

I'm glad I never jumped up off the back of my buddy's truck! I'da broken my neck...lol

[Neptun]

More femi-nazi craziness from Sweden:

"Boys and girls abolished in Sweden

The category of gender was canceled at one of Swedish kindergartens. The words "boy" and "girl" are no longer used there, while pronouns "he" and "she" were replaced with "it". Kindergarten teachers believe that they are successfully breaking the gender stereotypes so that the people of two sexes would not feel predominant towards each other. Experts say, though, that such seeming equality may lead to the genetic rebirth of the population and to the decline of human civilization.

The bizarre mission is taking place in the Swedish preschool called "Egalia." In this kindergarten, pronouns 'han' (he) and 'hon' (she) were replaced with genderless 'hen'."

http://english.pravda.ru/society/sto...er_equality-0/

I read in the danish newspaper a school in Denmark did not allow boys to pee standing. They had to pee like a girl.

And an insane lesbian man-hating femi-nazi polician(sorry for my political incorrect language. That is how we communicate when we get passionate) had made it possible for women to stand up and pee. It is all about domination. The manhating feminists wants to be more powerful than men and infiltrate all power structures and use government to create laws in their favor. It is the New World Order agenda.

Scandinavia (Denmark/Sweden/Norway) is the test zone for the brave new world New World Order programming.

About Brave New Denmark(The future USA programming):
http://www.rense.com/general79/brave.htm

This is how it looks like. The picture is from a danish national newspaper:


Translation of the article:
http://translate.google.com/translat...cle2713877.ece

It is not harmless at all. IT'S SOCIAL ENGINEERING!

[Kindred]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Ok, ok, everybody, REST YOUR MINDS AT EASE.

The entire website is a parody. A spoof. Do not be alarmed at the overwhelming stupidity, it is not for real. But it is really, really funny. What is not funny is there are plenty of people who wouldn't get the joke, and would take it as serious biblical discussion.

from Wikipedia; (not that WP is an 'authority', but it does have the citations to prove this item)

The Landover Baptist Church is a fictional[1] Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa. The Landover Baptist web site and its associated Landoverbaptist.net Forum are a satire of fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the United States.

The site was created by Chris Harper, who obtained his Master's Degree in English Literature from George Mason University in 1993 after being expelled from Liberty University (founded by Jerry Falwell) in 1989 for producing a satirical radio show which Liberty's administration found offensive.[2]
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Oh well.... it was 'scary fun' to read! Just the same, I've got to believe there are those that follow this paradigm. On this note, I recount that in Joshuah Slocum's book "Sailing Alone Around the World, which was an account of his sailing journey of just such a feat around the turn of the last century (1900), he had arrived in South Africa, and due to the 'celebrity' he enjoyed with his endeavor (telegraph had been invented, and thus news was available in 'modern' areas) he was invited to dinner with the 'president' / prime minister. The PM finally asked Mr. Slocum, "Don't you mean that you are sailing Across the World?" This PM was of the mind that the World was Flat!!! In 1900!!! And a powerful politician at that!