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Old 11-26-2008, 04:00 PM   #2
Bill Ryan
Project Avalon Co Founder
 
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 353
Default Re: My withdrawal from Avalon

Hi, Everyone:

I just wanted to endorse what Kerry has said here, inasmuch as itís genuinely hard for anyone out there to understand what Kerry and I have on our plates (both collectively, and with projects weíre each working on individually).

It IS hard for each of us to contribute to the forum as we would wish. Iíve just spent an hour on the ASK BILL AND KERRY thread and will do some more tomorrow. But we both have a large backlog of stuff to do, which is never ending, like a rolling road. And Kerry does do all the editing... which always takes a really long time, more than most people ever realize.

This continual workload takes its toll on us in various ways... not only the hours spent, but the lack of balance we sometimes have in our lives as a result of working 24/7, and the insecurity of not being paid for anything we do, and the (sometimes) hurt we feel from thoughtless or abusive e-mails we get - which no-one else ever sees.

In everyday management-speak, weíre under continual stress. Weíre both strong and capable and are pretty thick-skinned, and are between us the two most courageous people we know - if that doesnít sound too Irish. But we do get hurt, and tired, and discouraged, and experience doubts and concerns when we wake up early at 5 am and can no longer sleep.

We have also each had the experience recently of having good friends turn on us... which has been bewildering and perplexing. There DOES seem to be - for lack of any better words - a kind of slow-motion craziness which is hitting a lot of people recently. Maybe even us.

On the positive side, we do also get MANY wonderful messages from people who tell us that Camelot and Avalon have changed their lives, and they cannot thank us (and the whole Avalon team) enough. Itís very often this very personal, positive, good-news, transformational energy that keeps us going.

Weíre right on the vanguard of change here, and the push-back is often very strong - as it always has been with pioneers of any age.

Kerry and I both care more deeply about our work than itís possible to express, and this too keeps us going. Itís larger than each or any of us or our personal petty concerns that at one moment seem so huge and the next seem so trivial.

I love and care for Kerry deeply and we will easily and quickly find ways we can each operate together in a way that supports the projects and allows us freedom to express ourselves and work in the ways that support us individually.

There ARE major changes going on and weíre all right in the main flow of this river - probably many of the members too. We donít necessarily have any previous experience (this lifetime, at least) with which to help us cope. So we do our best, and sometimes make mistakes. There are very few bad guys here.

With love to you all -

Bill
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