Absolving guilt - teach me, please!

[pilotsimone]

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[Seikou-Kishi]

Hey Simone

What you describe isn't that out of the ordinary. Take depression for example, people become unable to participate in even the most rudimentary of daily functions. We can really only be blamed for doing something that we believed we should do and which we were reasonably able to do but did not. Being unable to fulfill one's own expectations is not the same as being unwilling to do so, the former is blame free, regardless of whether the obstacle is physical, emotional, mental, etc.. You cannot in all reasonable consideration blame yourself for failing to do what you are unable to do, and I do not believe you would blame anybody else for failing to do the impossible. Do not hold yourself to such a high standard that you can never do right.

Seikou

[Limor Wolf]

uh,pilotsimone, i can not offer any advice just say that i can identify with some of what you feel.there are days that i just need my peace and quiet and if things get piled up...i dont feel in my heart to get back to anyone or continue with my chores.those are just a minor days in the month..but its consistent.i felt guilty for years and finally learned to feel better with it when i vocaly announced my unusuall way of behaviour to anyone i could.dont need to explain,just tell as it is.

are you happy with your energy levels on day to day...strange question but there might be something in here..

[noprophet]

I'm very similar to you in said regard. It's affected relationships with people/family my whole life. I don't really let it bother me anymore but my way of reconciling, I imagine, would be vehemently disagreed with by some. I simply believe the world exists in absolute perfection and the only time we feel bad about anything is when we disagree with this through our perception.

A man once said the source of negative emotion is the fact that we have a certain view of the way the world is/should work. When the world doesn't align with this it fractures out personal reality and the result is negativity produced by our disagreement with truth. The fault then lies within ourselves.

So I suppose when I stop talking to someone I've developed a report with I see it as simply another portion of perfection. If this effects them in any way it is in their own right simply another form of perfection. Incorruptible in that once manifest it is truth. You can argue with it, but not change it; so why argue?

Just a complex variation on faith I suppose.

[Pamela]

Let go of the guilt! Those who know you - know YOU. It is okay and they ultimately know this is YOU and YOUR personality. If you try to be someone you are not then you would end up going through the motions and not having those exciting, wonderful conversations.

[Olam]

I know how you feel!..I have been working on that for a while now.
Im reading a book right now, "The dark side of the light chasers" from Debbie Ford. Im not finished reading but so far its been a great help. I wont go into detail because im still reading it. I think its an angle on things that has not been put out before.
So far its helping me alot with guilt feelings that are not founded in anything tangible.

[Teakai]

Hi Pilotsimone
Accept and love yourself honestly and completely.
Those who love and care about you will do the same.

"To thine ownself be true and it must follow as the night the day, thou shalt not then be false to any man."

[Steven]

...I have a mental block of some sort... It looks like a subconscious protection, you probably have been hurt and do not easily open yourself to someone, but at the same time, so willingly to do so. I also have a place in my heart so fragile I have hard time to get in myself ;) .

...What I’m still unable to release is the guilt I still feel... This, I know. The mistake is to try to avoid it. Guilt has to be integrated and accepted first and foremost. If you feel guilt, accept this feeling as yours and recognize it as a true path for learning. By accepting it, instead of repulsing it, you will begin to digest it. The next step is to put the finger on the event that caused it, to accept it and I have a little technique to help reversing the curse. Pm me for this.

...I’ve had numerous examples of my own where I wrote to someone because I was so incredibly excited, only to have them not respond for days. It doesn’t feel good... You seem to have very strong emotion. Emotion is what links us altogether. You might need to root yourself (emotionally) a little less with people and a little more with Life (Creation).

I’m seeking a way to see things differently... What about to feel things differently? What do you think?

...What I want is to be myself... Oh, and this, I assure you, you are. From the little I know about you, you are one true person. You might feel that you aren't yourself because of this emotional blockage. If you solve it and digest it, this strange feeling of being awkward will go away.

Hi Pilotsimone,

It is hard for me to give you a good insight, I would need to know a bit more. But nevertheless, here is a small breakdown of your words.

Namaste, Steven

[Anchor]

Have you considered that this may actually be a good thing?

Everything has its place and time - so if you find yourself being force to work at a certain pace, then just go with it. Good friends will tolerate it.

Additionally you can have a look at the obstructions you are encountering, and see if you cant map these reflections of you into some kind of underlying meaning.

The only person that can judge ourselves is ourselves, but we often do it very harshly :)

[xbusymom]

I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that the cause is depression... often times I have to let 1 of 2 things happen...

either what was said or done by either person needs to let my higher self process the information within the cosmic guidelines (the bigger picture that I can't see yet)...
or I need to wait for the right timing of events regarding that person or situation (letting the universe get things lined up for a beneficial outcome for all concerned)...

in any case I have found that a lot of the times I have waited for those 2 factors is when "miracles" get created and played out in my life...

[witchy1]

Hi pilotsimone - I know exactly what you are saying..........(Particularly more prevalant since quitting a rather high pressure job). Dont feel guilty - simple to say I know but somewhat harder to put into practise. You are who you are - accept that.

You wont be hurting them - likewise you should not be hurting when it happens to you. I dont hang around waiting for people to contact me back knowing they will when its right for them to do so.

Using your logic - you are getting hurt waiting for responses to your contact, therefore they must feel the same waiting for you - maybe its time to move on from that - dont hang round waiting for them...........its perfectly normal that people cannot just drop things to speak to others........irrespective of the cause. You dont have to justify your actions (lack of response) to them - just as they do not have to justify them to you. You certainly do not have to feel any guilt. Remember if it urgent (like life threatening) they will contact you again.

I moved on quickly once I figured everyone does it - (unless they had nothing else to do accept hang around waiting for my contact - then I would question a co-dependancy issue -LOL)

I also think as I have aged I really dont care what others think of me. I am who I am - take it or leave it.

Not sure if this makes sense or if I have addressed the issues - hope so:love:

[Fractalius]

Expectation. Sometimes a pang of guilt will be from letting yourself down, but often too it will be from a real or imagined expectation from others. Most often the expectation will be at least distorted by ones own doing also. Removal of ones attention and energy is a natural break for creative and emotional states of mind. Engagement for some people can drain them if they have not the psychic faculty to deflect other's energies. Compassionate and sensitive people can be so nice to be around, because they will suck all the negativity out of you. So often, if you are an empath to this degree, you need the time of detachment to release or transmute these energies and recharge. It is good to be aware that this is a part of being a healer for some people. Guilt seems like an absurdity once you have the perspective right.

adding that many do do this and there is sometimes a remnant of "oh they don't like me" voices. Open communication and generosity of self cuts through seeds of guilt like the proverbial. eg
" Hey well buddy ya know that I sometimes feel a bit guilty for erratic contact at times, but really it is only because I fear that you find it rude or cold, be aware that this is not the case, and I always enjoy my self in your company."

[astrid]

I know this all very well... i have found that letting go of attachment to outcomes has assisted me greatly. Then its all about the journey rather than the destination..
And choose your friends wisely, those that love u unconditionally, will not create guilt, but will understand. Intention is everything too, if you love them , regardless as to whether u get around contacting them, u have nothing to feel guilty about. Guilt and its ugly cousin, Shame are also products of our underlying christian programming... its part of keeping us in a state of fear, and self loathing.

Don't forget too, if u are feeling it, its more about you than them, but the good news with that, is when u own it, it then becomes yours to deal with, u are back in the seat of power.
And there are plenty of tools to remove emotional charges that no longer serve you, i have a few good ones . Pm me if u want to know more, i don't want to hijack this thread..

[pilotsimone]

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[Arrowwind]

Guit is the result of a faulty belief system. Find the glitch in your beliefs and alter it.
You are the master of your reality, even if you at this time cannot acknowledge it.
It is all controlled from your central control station
That central control station operates on your belief system
Which sets the perimeters for action, non action and how you feel about it all

Change your beliefs and you change your world.

[conk]

There is a very simple process to alleviate most any emotional issue. it's called ho'oponopono, a Hiwaiian practice of taking responsibility for everything in your life. Joe Vitale wrote a book about it. Zero something. Forget the full name.

In short summary it goes like this. When you have the thought surrender to being responsible and say:

1. I'm sorry
2. Please forgive me
3. Thank you
4. I love you

I do it all the time and it works. My brother in law confided in me that he has suffered from negative thoughts for many, many years. I showed him the book, so that what came next would have some credibility. I taught him the phrases. Two weeks later he told me that it was really helping him. He's a very serious, no nonsense kind of guy. For him to admit it helped meant that it really did.

We do create our lives and everything around us. To accept, then resonate with gratitude and love is very healing.

There are many methods, but another well respected one is the Sonoma Method. Hard to distill a two inch book and twelve CD lecture series into a few words, but....

When you have the feeling ask yourself three questions.

1. Would I be willing to let go of this thought?
2. Could I be willing to let go of this thought?
3. When would I be willing to let go of this thought?
4. Now!
5. Practice.

[TimeRazor]

I think what is being missed here and what is really important is that you say you feel that there is a blockage. To illustrate how we can REMEMBER how we are meant to deal with this type of problem please think of a baby when some small accident happens to him, such as being stuck with a pin.

What does the baby do?

Think about the intensity of it.

You will pass through this life hearing a million reasons why you should not feel your feelings, all designed to keep you trapped in feeling weak, powerless, so you are more easy to control.

Anger, guilt, rage, etc., so-called negative emotions are denied to the point of insane game playing with the mind.

They are, in fact, the doorway to enlightenment when handled responsibly, seen for what they are, a gift from nature.

People will deny this vehemently. Let them pass through you, just like feeling these emotions, let them run their course, no, not while driving your car, but responsibly, making time in this crazy upside down world. Then you will find that all of it is and always has been really yours, you are your own master.

Now, when he is done, what does the baby do? ;)

[Snowbird]

This is a great subject Pilotsimone. We are conditioned from childhood to do and say certain things for standardized reasons. This doesn't always set well with mature adults as they begin to learn who and what they really are.

I understand about the guilt, but I had to ask myself some time ago if my getting back to someone was predicated on a time frame of minutes, hours, days, weeks or ever. I don't do well with chit-chat. I never have. If I don't have something that I feel is important to say or write or add, I simply don't. This does not make for quality friendships, but this is who and what I am.

I would suggest that you be true to yourself and your heart, even if by doing so may appear to hurt someone. And too, there are times when absence makes the heart grow fonder. :hug:

[jack]

I was going to write this as a personal message but it would probably be better to have it on the open forum for everyone to take advantage of.

Guilt is energy that has been stopped in the body, becoming blocked in a certain area. If you focus for long enough on the sensation you will see that it resides in a certain part of your body, with areas of intensity that gradually decrease the further away from the point of most intensity. While this energy is stuck in the body it completely controls the thought processes and the chemicals our brain releases into the body dictating how we feel and what we think. You can focus on this energy and intend it to flow, with practise it will. Google emotrance for more information - and feel free to pm me if you have any questions.