Sexsomnia and you...

[petra]

Much to my dismay, I've discovered that Sexsomnia is a legitimate disorder which is affecting people. Also known as 'Sleep Sex', it's like sleepwaking - but with sex.
A man was recently released from sexual abuse charges on his daughter, because the abuse was determined to be a result of this disorder.
So many people are angry at this, and I dare not side with this man - but I'm trying to imagine both sides.
Consider, any one of us could "accidentally" molest someone in our sleep if we had this disorder.
I've been considering the guilt factor too. If what he says is true... there isn't one.

Another thread popped up on PA recently about guilt by association and scapegoating, and the scapegoating really caught my attention, because that's what it seems like he is - a scapegoat.

On the other hand, he could be lying. If he's a liar and I end up believing the lies - that makes ME the guilty one now doesn't it.

I'd be interested to hear any comments on this whatsoever, especially if anyone feels like saying anything that might help me calm down :)

[DeDukshyn]

Tough subject - because being wrong on this conclusion either way will make you feel "not good". I have my doubts that this is a real thing, but it could be. My stance is to not conclude on it. I don't need to figure that out. Trying to do so only has the end to either feel "good" about my judgements, or feel good about not judging. "Feeling good" about our thoughts judgements and conclusions, I find, is an addiction in itself.

[Ernie Nemeth]

Just an excuse for perverts.
There is no disorder that excuses sex with your own children.
Not buying it.
Would never happen to me I guarantee it. And if I did I would kill myself from the shame!

[PurpleLama]

That's one crime that, if caught, one would say literally anything to get out of the stigma, much less the punishment.

Not to mention, one can always wake the somnambulist.

Alternate thread title: The Dangers of Ambien

[AutumnW]

A LOT of women sleep walk through sex! :dancing:

[Strat]

My stance is to not conclude on it.

100% agreed.

[Mike]

Hmmm....

I recall being a boy and witnessing my Dad sleep walk. He'd arrive in our room, angry and disheveled, and demand we get ready for some implied event. We'd explain to him it was midnight, tell him he was acting funny (we were kids. We didn't know what sleepwalking was) and urge him to go back to bed.

My lasting memory is the look of utter confusion on his face. This might have happened 3 or 4 times. The episode would last several minutes in length. I do recall my Mom ushering him back to bed one time.

Another time, at a hotel, I woke up to my Dad shouting and thrashing around. He was sleep walking and got caught up in a huge fake plant. We laugh alot about all that stuff now, but it was sort of frightening when it happened.

In college, I began sleep walking myself. Once I attempted to pee out of my dorm window. The issue was, my roommates' bed was adjacent to the window. I pee'd all over the poor guy. And after that I went out into the hallway and began peeing on everyone's door knobs.

Here's the thing: i was told I did those things. I didn't have any immediate memory of them. As days went by, I had little flashes here n there, and then it all slowly came back.

Point being: this man's defense sounds dubious at best and inexcuseably pitiful at worst. But it's not out of the realm of possibility. I've seen and experienced these states firsthand. The confusion can go on for several minutes, which is just enough time for any sort of horrible thing to happen

[shaberon]

Somnambulism is very weird and can provide silly benefits like long conversations in Eskimo language. A body can do some strange things when the occupant is unavailable. It's almost a totally different subject than sex.

Ever seen someone in shock start making sexual motions? Is that attempted rape?

It is hard to tell unless you were there. Waking up and avoiding a sleepwalker does not sound too difficult. Unless the female in question was naked on top of her sheets, it is difficult to imagine something like this, happening, except there is no victim statement so we do not even know what is claimed and have to make the assumptions. Sexual abuse can be a few miles short of sex.

[petra]

I'm certainly not going to conclude, and I have my own theories - thanks for the input everyone!


That's one crime that, if caught, one would say literally anything to get out of the stigma, much less the punishment.

Very very good point.



Point being: this man's defense sounds dubious at best and inexcuseably pitiful at worst. But it's not out of the realm of possibility. I've seen and experienced these states firsthand. The confusion can go on for several minutes, which is just enough time for any sort of horrible thing to happen

Thanks Mike. His wife is backing him up too, and in hindsight I have heard of this disorder before (a friend of mind admitted this happens with him and his gf), I just did not know it was a disorder at the time - I just thought some kind of weird fetish.

The confusion look is frightening in this case, I've seen it too, nothing like the "wtf look". The wtf look it funny.... this is NOT funny


Just an excuse for perverts.
There is no disorder that excuses sex with your own children.
Not buying it.
Would never happen to me I guarantee it. And if I did I would kill myself from the shame!

I'll buy that it's a disorder, because of how weird sleepwalking is. People can cook food while sleepwalking, so why not sex. Just a few days ago someone was posting about "Sleep drawing" which I think is probably real, and that eerily resembles channeling (since they are in a trance and don't realize they're doing it)

I'd end up killing myself too - that's part of why this is horrifying. I'll add to this too, let's say I wanted to have sex with my child, but didn't actually do it. I'd probably kill myself then too, just to put myself out of my misery.


A LOT of women sleep walk through sex! :dancing:

Hey look, it's an actual benefit of being a woman! Just playing. Sounds awesome to me... I'd rather have sleep than have sex (ha ha)


Somnambulism is very weird and can provide silly benefits like long conversations in Eskimo language. A body can do some strange things when the occupant is unavailable. It's almost a totally different subject than sex.

Ever seen someone in shock start making sexual motions?

Sadly I have seen this, on television no less. A guy was mad about losing on a video game so he tried to stick a remote control up his butt. The commentator made a joke about him being possessed by a gay ghost :P

[Ernie Nemeth]

Sex while sleep walking either requires a simultaneously sleep walking person or one who is awake, aware, and willing to participate.

Which one describes the daughter?

[petra]

Sex while sleep walking either requires a simultaneously sleep walking person or one who is awake, aware, and willing to participate.

Which one describes the daughter?

I've tried to put myself in the child's shoes too, and every scenario is awful, even the one where she believes her father and forgives him - it's still awful!!!!

Not sure why you'd think the awake party would have to be 'willing'. I mean, what if we substitute the child for a sheep? I should probably stop before I make myself sick.

I'm also kind of skeptical about the two sleepwalkers having sex. Imagine if one gets pregnant, they might think it was a friggin' miracle :p

[Ernie Nemeth]

The awake party must be willing because otherwise the yelling, kicking, and screaming would wake the perp.

[PurpleLama]

I can hear it now, Bill Clinton didn't mean to do it, he was sleepwalking.

[Sue (Ayt)]

Drugs or alcohol may have had something to do with it. Ambien is a drug, after all. And many obnoxious act are committed while someone is totally drunk, and they claim to have no memory of it. Almost like they were asleep. Maybe he passed out drunk in bed, then got up.

[Ti]

If he's a liar and I end up believing the lies - that makes ME the guilty one now doesn't it.
No, it doesn't. You're gaslighting yourself! Probably via something you picked up from someone else as a child. Someone told you that, in order for you to believe it. They told you that to remove guilt from themselves and pass it onto you, not because it was true but because it made you feel worse and thusly made them think they felt better. A classic bullying technique, "if I make the people around me feel worse then I'll be the best by association!" Let's tear that belief down now.

Being successfully fooled by someone does not make you into the guilty one. It makes you another victim of his crime. Not as much of a victim as the daughter, but nonetheless you will have been violated by the devious actions of someone's ill intent. If you believe and propagate his lie, you hang onto it and refuse to admit you were deceived when the lies come out and maintain the lie to keep a perceived shred of honor rather than admit you were wrong, then sure, you're now victimizing further people with the ill intent.


I'm perfectly sure that someone could do some sleep sex, however, assuming that the daughter was awake and conscious and not consenting, I also assume she could have managed to escape or evade. Certainly someone who's asleep isn't going to be personally insulted if you rebuff their advances. So, if she just let it happen that tells me it probably wasn't the first time something like this happened. Cooperation means she's been programmed to cooperate, and thus, I think he's making an excuse, there must be more to the story... I have sleep walked myself and I know it's possible to do things without any memory of what you were doing, so I assume it's possible. But sleep sex is a different thing from sleep rape. Also, like, what are you DREAMING about if that's what you do? Like, I sleep peed and sleep walked into the bulletin board and sleep opened the fridge, they were kind of pointless things to be trying to do while asleep but not criminal, just weak reflections of my usual lifestyle being mirrored in my sleeping state. Complex situation.

Ultimately I feel like she could have probably woke him up, so I think he's trying to use it as an excuse to get out of a horrible crime.


Just an excuse for perverts.
There is no disorder that excuses sex with your own children.
Not buying it.
Would never happen to me I guarantee it. And if I did I would kill myself from the shame!

Speaking as a daughter with a relative up the family tree who was raped by her father, nah, it's still not worth killing yourself over. Yep, it's sick, perverted, disgusting, and I have enormous empathy for the family members who were affected by this long before I was born. I lived my entire life knowing the rapist as a member of my family and it was not until he passed that the information was revealed to me. Because I didn't know this person was a rapist, I was able to have a positive relationship with him and gain what positive knowledge I could. He was more than just this awful period in his life and I'm glad he didn't feel that way and off himself from the shame. I'm much happier to know that instead, he just stopped the raping young women in the family (I guess his victim got too old for his tastes or something, ugh, I don't know) and tried to be a better guy for the last few decades of his life.

Child molesters are definitely up there on the evil-o-meter, and yet, anyone can rehabilitate, start doing good in the world around them, and do the best they can with what they have left. So to be honest I would prefer someone who did to live with the weight of it and use that pain to find some way to reach people who are still trapped in their darkness, instead of killing themselves. Due to their own demons they may be able to connect with people who are similarly awful and reach them where someone who's never been there might not. Just, y'know, ideally in an environment where they're NOWHERE NEAR anyone who they can victimize again.

If this man's been released back to his family, I sure as hell hope his daughter gets a brand new shiny deadbolt for her door though.


I can hear it now, Bill Clinton didn't mean to do it, he was sleepwalking.
OMG lol.

Wait, though, didn't he get head? The whole "I didn't have sex with that woman" thing? So was Monica sleepwalking? Was Bill also sleep walking? Did they just sleep run into each other and accidentally sleep through some, y'know... foreplay or whatever and then carry on down the hall oblivious? Madness. I lolled.

[petra]

If "Sexsomnia" itself is made up in order to justify molestation, I'd be surprised. I think Sexsomnia is a real disorder, and the Judge must think so too, because the fellow got released.


The awake party must be willing because otherwise the yelling, kicking, and screaming would wake the perp.

I imagine someone could be paralyzed in fear and not necessarily willing. Thought an awful lot of scenarios... and I've also considered the one where she thinks he is awake and doing it on purpose, but he is in reality unaware.



If he's a liar and I end up believing the lies - that makes ME the guilty one now doesn't it.
No, it doesn't. You're gaslighting yourself! Probably via something you picked up from someone else as a child. Someone told you that, in order for you to believe it. They told you that to remove guilt from themselves and pass it onto you, not because it was true but because it made you feel worse and thusly made them think they felt better. A classic bullying technique, "if I make the people around me feel worse then I'll be the best by association!" Let's tear that belief down now.

Being successfully fooled by someone does not make you into the guilty one. It makes you another victim of his crime.


I can tell that I am gaslighting myself but that doesn't make the guilt feel any different, "guilty of being fooled" is the same as any other guilt to me. I'm "guilty by association" in a way. Of course, THEY would be guilty of something much much worse than being gullible...

I do NOT feel like a victim if I end up believing a lie, I'm mostly just disappointed at the time which was wasted due to said lie.



I can hear it now, Bill Clinton didn't mean to do it, he was sleepwalking.
OMG lol.

Wait, though, didn't he get head? The whole "I didn't have sex with that woman" thing? So was Monica sleepwalking? Was Bill also sleep walking? Did they just sleep run into each other and accidentally sleep through some, y'know... foreplay or whatever and then carry on down the hall oblivious? Madness. I lolled.

It's madness alright!! At least we won't get thrown in jail for giving head in our sleep though.

[Ernie Nemeth]

I guess it depends on life experience then.

I was abused as a 3-yr old child, almost killed - but that part is speculation. Because on the way to the rape zone I was luckily saved by three old women - they must have been angels because there was no reason for them not to have been surprised when the elevator doors opened. Instead they immediately grabbed me and pulled me out of the elevator...

So when I hear of a perp explaining their latest excuse I am immediately sceptical. And when the excuse becomes part of the official list of psychological disorders, which itself has grown from a handful of recognized maladies to thousands, I know the fix is in.

YOU CANNOT RAPE IN YOUR SLEEP!

[AriG]

With due respect, some of the comments on this thread are a bit tone deaf with regard to the subject of child rape. No child is ever a willing participant in sexual activity with an adult.

Moving on...

I have been sleepwalking since childhood. What I do know about sleepwalking is that it is a lot like being drunk, in the sense that it is sort of a "truth serum" in that your inhibitions are lowered. I myself am a Brie addict. Yes, the cheese. When I sleepwalk, I have been known to decimate a wheel of brie in one event. In Mike's case, maybe he did want to pee on his roommate and the doorknobs in the dorm. Maybe Mike had unresolved issues with them. In the case of the man who raped his daughter? My guess is that if he hadn't already raped her previously, in an awakened state he probably had desires, even if they were suppressed or unconscious desires.

[petra]

I sure hope Ernie is right, because it just doesn't get any grosser than that...

This business about being on the 'official disorders list' has really thrown me off kilter, because court judges HAVE to consider it (even if it's a pile of bunk).

AriG makes a lot of sense regarding unconscious desires too, and I tend to agree the state is similar to being drunk with lowered inhibitions. He probably had an unconscious desire, and acted on it.

Either way - this is bringing an interesting question to the forefront.
Q: Do I think people should be held responsible for things they do in their sleep?

My answer to that is NO....

*back down the rabbit hole I go...*

[Ernie Nemeth]

What has made this topic so visceral for you concerns me. I hope all is well...

[Ernie Nemeth]

I get it. Not a nice topic to equate oneself with so let me expand on what happened to me.

I find that bringing up trauma in public allows for quick healing.

After being saved by the three angels, they took me home. They had a word with my father. He flat out refused to believe what they told him. Meanwhile, my mother was away I don't know where dealing with the loss of her second child - pregnancy terminated itself (twice in one year!).

You see, my dad had to go to work. They knew nobody in Canada. They had zero backup...

And so I had to go back to the people downstairs who took care of me while dad worked.

And it is this man, the husband of my caretaker who was the pervert! He kept up his abuse for another few weeks until my mom finally recovered and came back to take care of me again.

By then the damage had been done...I would never be the same again, disabused of my innocence.

[petra]

Thanks for sharing that really personal story Ernie. It has only now just occurred to me that my perspective must seem cold to people who have experienced sexual or physical abuse. I've experienced no such abuse...


What has made this topic so visceral for you concerns me. I hope all is well...

All is well Ernie. I have a house guest currently and I imagine if I were to let this thing consume me, I'd be scared of him and end up kicking him out. Well that's not going to happen - he's my friend and I'm not abandoning him.

Perverts + Sleepwalking is a big deal in my mind, because I have a brother who has had pedophile type of thoughts (he has not acted on them, and is getting professional help), and I've also been involved with a person who had been to jail, and experienced sleepwalking (and black-outs).

Having witnessed how frightened both of them were about either of those things, that's probably what makes things feel so visceral.

This background I have (conditioning?) makes me somehow able to empathize with criminals and perverts, and following that, the thought of having either of those things happen to me (thought-perversion or black-outs) is almost too frightening for me to bear.

[Ernie Nemeth]

I guess it was visceral for me...funny how it's so easy to miss the obvious when it is directed at the self.

I thought I had worked it through, and I mostly have, but the residuals of such abuse lingers forever.

It has triggered a string of memories, of other abuse at later ages, one that targeted our whole family. Another, in a related tale with the family abuse is how our family went and saved three little girls from physical abuse, in a trailer far away (it took hours to drive there). We brought them home and cared for them for a month or so. I don't remember what happened to them. They were dirty and savage, with no language just grunts and made-up words like 'dundeeo' which meant give me water...

It is a wonder how we grow up and cover over these events that had such an important part to play in our development. Or is it just me?

[petra]

I guess it was visceral for me...funny how it's so easy to miss the obvious when it is directed at the self.


This little statement evokes a visceral reaction for me - because in my mind, it's more weapon innuendo. I know that's not the intent (logically)

It IS funny how easy ANYONE can miss the obvious, and that's part of why I'm not able to trust myself 100%.



It is a wonder how we grow up and cover over these events that had such an important part to play in our development. Or is it just me?

I doubt it's just you, and I detect a hint of suspicion - but perhaps I'm imagining things.

[Ernie Nemeth]

For me, I now see, the theme of this life has always been surviving the institutionalized abuse of this society.

The hundred little travesties that make living in this world just that much more painful and arduous.

And it is in our unawareness, akin to sleep-walking, that we live our lives - mostly unaware of the herders that corral our potential and our response at every turn.

Even under the influence of 'sexsomnia', there is a moment of lucid choice - it is not something an offender would ever admit and so there will not be any official statistic of its occurrence. But, if otherwise healthy, a normal person will decide whether to offend or not, even in their sleep.

Remember, a person dreaming thinks they are awake and acts and thinks as if awake. Having sex is a choice, who to have it with is part of that physiological choice. Sleeping has nothing to do with it except as an excuse for unnatural behavior the perp knows is wrong.

[Ernie Nemeth]

Petra.

No suspicion, no reading between the lines, no innuendo. No intent of any kind to imply anything at all in your regard. None at all!

Only memories of trauma bubbling to the surface, that's it.

[petra]

Thanks for that Ernie - It kind of bothers me how sharing my thoughts can trigger people, but at the same time I think it is helping both of us - maybe other's reading will relate too.

I don't know what it is like to feel compelled to have sex with children, but I DO know what it's like to feel compelled to do unusual things. The main thing I've noticed about being compelled to do unusual things is how I only notice the thing was unusual in hindsight! I can't help but wonder if that's the kind of thing that happens to perverts - and if one day they'll look back on themselves and realize how "stupid" they were.

Compelling feeling is hard to describe. It's like you want to do the thing... but you don't fully understand your own reasoning. You don't have to know why in order to do it though, you're doing it because it feels like the right thing to do.

I'm not trying to side with the perverts, I swear. I just fail to see how anyone could manage to sink that low. Maybe one day a reformed one will show up and explain it to us, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

[Mike]

Ernie, thanks for sharing all that. that was really gutsy. respect.:handshake:

[Denise/Dizi]

I am a former sleepwalker.. I have actually gotten dressed, locked the door behind me and gone for walks, only waking up when sprinklers hit me, and then I would return home to find I was locked out, and my mother had to be awoken up with a knock on the door to let me back in, the horror on her face will stick in my mind forever..

As a result of those experiences I have reached out to others that have woken up in unusual places after this phenomenon. I knew I was getting dressed, I knew I was locking the door behind myself.. And I knew where I was going. We had just moved and I wanted to go HOME.. Home being the apartment we had just left. (We moved to a larger on in the same complex).. The thing I lacked was the critical thinking skills, or reasoning abilities to tell myself, "You're in a new home".. In many ways sleepwalking is likened to lucid dreaming.. You go through the motions and ou know what you're doing during that time, but it seems like you are removed for your own environment somehow. At least that was the case for me. I didn't always remember things I did however. It was always different.

I seemed to outgrow the phenomenon before I became a teenager..

When talking to others, they had noted their own sleep/sex experiences. And since I am not revealing names, I think I can share their experiences with such things.. There was one woman who kept waking up in the act of having relations with her husband. She was fully aroused, and participating without having any knowledge of starting and of it, and she was getting very upset with her spouse for instigating such things.. But when she would say that, they would claim SHE instigated it!

So where does that leave this woman? Is she half awake, and just going through the motions? If she woke her spouse, and they engaged, wouldn't they notice that she wasn't quite "There"? I asked such questions, and she said. The lights were always off. So how would he even know so long as she was going through the motions properly?

So this is a very slippery slope. She felt that she was being taken advantage of while she slept, and while with her partner that she loved, she felt it a violation, but her body responses indicated that her body was fully engaged at a level that her mind was not.

So I can't say. I have walked half a mile to my old house, aware after the fact that when I got dressed, upon reflection that I KNEW I was getting dressed and why I was doing it, but I wasn't aware enough to know that this was an absurd thing to do.. I was home already.. As for the wife, she and her husband resolved the matter by making a deal never to engage each other after they went to sleep for any reason.

But can someone walk into someone else's room, and unknowingly commit such an act? While grotesgue and damaging, I would have to say it's possible.. That would go back to whether of not that part of their brain that regulates critical thinking skills is still asleep.

What a sad story. If this person has a history of sleepwalking and unusual sleep behavior there should have been precautions in place in my opinion. Just sad all around..

[petra]

I am a former sleepwalker.. I have actually gotten dressed, locked the door behind me and gone for walks, only waking up when sprinklers hit me, and then I would return home to find I was locked out, and my mother had to be awoken up with a knock on the door to let me back in, the horror on her face will stick in my mind forever..


That's the kind of reaction I'd expect from ANY sleepwalker, but for some strange unbeknownst reason, some people seem to think sleepwalking is something they need to 'learn to live with'. Glad you didn't fall into that trap. Sleepwalking is horrifying, and if anyone thinks it isn't - they're blind.



When talking to others, they had noted their own sleep/sex experiences. And since I am not revealing names, I think I can share their experiences with such things.. There was one woman who kept waking up in the act of having relations with her husband. She was fully aroused, and participating without having any knowledge of starting and of it, and she was getting very upset with her spouse for instigating such things.. But when she would say that, they would claim SHE instigated it!

So where does that leave this woman? Is she half awake, and just going through the motions? If she woke her spouse, and they engaged, wouldn't they notice that she wasn't quite "There"? I asked such questions, and she said. The lights were always off. So how would he even know so long as she was going through the motions properly?

So this is a very slippery slope. She felt that she was being taken advantage of while she slept, and while with her partner that she loved, she felt it a violation, but her body responses indicated that her body was fully engaged at a level that her mind was not.


Well would you look at that... an otherwise happy couple start arguing because of sleepwalking! What a great example, because this is exactly the kind of worst-possible-situation I seem to be dancing around. What if one of them turns against the other one because of this, but deep down they really love each other?!? It's just ridiculous.



But can someone walk into someone else's room, and unknowingly commit such an act? While grotesgue and damaging, I would have to say it's possible.. That would go back to whether of not that part of their brain that regulates critical thinking skills is still asleep.

What a sad story. If this person has a history of sleepwalking and unusual sleep behavior there should have been precautions in place in my opinion. Just sad all around..

Just the idea of sleepwalking being possible (without the sex part) makes me nervous. I mean, I really don't see why it wouldn't be possible to commit a murder while sleepwalking (though I've never actually heard of this happening)

The man DID have a history of sleepwalking, and precautions should have definitely been in place!

I hate to say this, but I don't trust sleepwalkers (that's sad, I know). If lived with one, I think I'd want to move out .... :/

[Denise/Dizi]

I am a former sleepwalker.. I have actually gotten dressed, locked the door behind me and gone for walks, only waking up when sprinklers hit me, and then I would return home to find I was locked out, and my mother had to be awoken up with a knock on the door to let me back in, the horror on her face will stick in my mind forever..


That's the kind of reaction I'd expect from ANY sleepwalker, but for some strange unbeknownst reason, some people seem to think sleepwalking is something they need to 'learn to live with'. Glad you didn't fall into that trap. Sleepwalking is horrifying, and if anyone thinks it isn't - they're blind.



When talking to others, they had noted their own sleep/sex experiences. And since I am not revealing names, I think I can share their experiences with such things.. There was one woman who kept waking up in the act of having relations with her husband. She was fully aroused, and participating without having any knowledge of starting and of it, and she was getting very upset with her spouse for instigating such things.. But when she would say that, they would claim SHE instigated it!

So where does that leave this woman? Is she half awake, and just going through the motions? If she woke her spouse, and they engaged, wouldn't they notice that she wasn't quite "There"? I asked such questions, and she said. The lights were always off. So how would he even know so long as she was going through the motions properly?

So this is a very slippery slope. She felt that she was being taken advantage of while she slept, and while with her partner that she loved, she felt it a violation, but her body responses indicated that her body was fully engaged at a level that her mind was not.


Well would you look at that... an otherwise happy couple start arguing because of sleepwalking! What a great example, because this is exactly the kind of worst-possible-situation I seem to be dancing around. What if one of them turns against the other one because of this, but deep down they really love each other?!? It's just ridiculous.



But can someone walk into someone else's room, and unknowingly commit such an act? While grotesgue and damaging, I would have to say it's possible.. That would go back to whether of not that part of their brain that regulates critical thinking skills is still asleep.

What a sad story. If this person has a history of sleepwalking and unusual sleep behavior there should have been precautions in place in my opinion. Just sad all around..

Just the idea of sleepwalking being possible (without the sex part) makes me nervous. I mean, I really don't see why it wouldn't be possible to commit a murder while sleepwalking (though I've never actually heard of this happening)

The man DID have a history of sleepwalking, and precautions should have definitely been in place!

I hate to say this, but I don't trust sleepwalkers (that's sad, I know). If lived with one, I think I'd want to move out .... :/

Sleepwalking IS horrifying.. While I never suffered any negative effects, I certainly found myself in situations that could have ended terribly for me.. I was only 7 years old when I found myself half a mile from my home...alone in the middle of the night. This is no joking matter.. My mother made sure that she put measures into place so I never wandered off again! There were locks on the door I couldn't reach after that. And she moved my bedroom so that she could see into my room every night. She made sure that I got more rest so that I was never overtired...

As far as the couple. The whole situation was traumatic for both involved, and of course it would be.. Neither wanted to be in a situation where they were disrespecting the other... So they discussed it and found solutions that worked for them.. Fortunately the behavior was something for them that they willingly engaged in on a regular basis.. So it wasn't like she went outside with a bat and smashed all the windows in a new car or anything like that. But I could imagine that it would be terrifying to wake up in the middle of that kind of an act.

Realizing that you can't go to stay at anyone else's house as this could be taken advantage of in the wrong circumstances. It did raise many alarms.

I cannot imagine that living with a sleepwalker would be easy, but most times no one knows that they even ever get out of bed.. And they get up and wander to the kitchen or wherever it is that they're going, almost in a somber manner, quietly, unless they run into something lol. That may wake them up, or alert someone else that they're moving around..

I bet you that more people sleepwalk to use the restroom than you would ever imagine.. Never fully waking up in the process... They either return and just go back to sleep, or they wake up where they are, wondering how they got there. Our brains sometimes go into "trance like" states when we're driving too. And people forget the last 10 miles of their travels.. It's a scary thing.

I think that you need not lose trust over those that are afflicted with this neurological anomaly. Most have realized that they have this disorder at some point, and they will tell you what they do in their sleep.. Most sleepwalkers eat, or go about daily activities as if it is morning. they will start coffee, go looking for the morning paper.. Or wander around in a state of stupor lol. They engage in activities that they accustomed to doing, almost as if on "Autopilot"..

While I do think that it is possible for a sleep walker to do such a thing? I think that they have to be a pretty messed up individual to begin with, to even do something like that on "Auto Pilot". As I always just did things that meant something to me. You can't live your life in constant fear of the unknown. Surround yourself with good people, and their actions will be good even if they sleepwalk. The BASIC person is still in their mind. Their daily mannerisms shine through. I never became another person when I was sleepwalking, At a soul level. I just didn't have those higher functioning reasoning skills. But I was somewhat aware.

What I mean by that is, I was aware I was in my PJ'S and I needed actual clothing to go outside, I knew it was night and that I could get cold, so I put on my shoes and a large robe to keep myself warm.. I knew why I was leaving.. And I knew to lock the door as it was nighttime and we lock the door to keep strangers out..

I was able to remember thinking about such things after I was fully awake... I knew my environment, my eyes were open the entire time. I just couldn't reach that place in my mind that told me, you don't live there anymore. I was thinking that I was returning home. I wasn't happy in my new home. I wanted to go to the old one, and I lived that out as I was sleepwalking.

While I cannot speak for everyone who sleepwalks, I was right at the verge of being fully awake the entire time.. So as such, I did have some reasoning capacity, a lot of it actually.... Just not ALL of it. So I don't think that you truly need to fear sleepwalkers. Just avoid sleeping in their homes if the thought of that makes you uncomfortable hahaha. i used to visit with my birds, clean up messes, pick up my toys. In many ways I was a perfect little sleepwalker, until i started to leave the house!

[Ernie Nemeth]

My wife was a sleep walker. It is a freaky thing that you never fully get used to. The first time, just for a moment, I thought I had entered the Twilight Zone...

She'd have conversations with me while asleep! Once she went for a walk and woke up miles from home - in a snow-storm with no coat and no boots and no money or phone - in the middle of the night! I had to call the police to go look for her...we worried she'd freeze to death, but the police found her huddled in a bank machine kiosk.

I have personally always been of the opinion that sleep walkers are just not good at holding on to one reality and so create other realities in their sleep. This idea came from the fact that it seems that our realities for the greater part at least are selected by our psyches. And since dreams are so real, I've always thought life is foremost just a dream we dream ourselves in. In other words, we are very good at focusing our awareness down to one dream amongst a multitude of others and holding onto that dream for an entire lifetime.

I do not take this life seriously at all. Nor do I believe any of my faults are intrinsic or necessary for growth. We dream a life until we die, then we dream up another entire new lifetime - over and over.

Sleep walkers just like to have multiple experiences in one lifetime...and that is why I never dream. This dream of life is enough of a farce for me, I don't need other inconsequential experiences to add to the confusion.