I'm Immortal Too

[Mike]

I first found out when I was approached by a strange looking man I can't really talk about. He told me some stuff I can't really say anything too specific about. So forth.

Ask me some questions.

[Delight]

Mike, you have a great sense of humor. I would ask you something but I already know everything. One thing I know is that you DID meet him. He told you some secrets. I met him too but can't talk about it. Don't bother asking me any questions because I'll just give you some vague generic stuff. What I can tell you is I am immortal.

[Mike]

Mike, you have a great sense of humor. I would ask you something but I already know everything. One thing I know is that you DID meet him. He told you some secrets. I met him too but can't talk about it. Don't bother asking me any questions because I'll just give you some vague generic stuff. What I can tell you is I am immortal.


you too? damn. you're so bloody mysterious. i respect and resent you all at once.

how did you know i met that man? who have you been talking to? wait, what's this? what have i done? a thread? on a forum? i can only speculate at this point, but i'm tempted to blame my atlantean twin for all this, roger..that fangle-toothed motherf#cker.

if i were prone to directness, which i'm not, i might say something declarative about my experiences - which may or may not have happened - but i'm not declarative in any way unless i'm stressing how infrequently declarative i am. i'm deadly serious and direct about that...although i'll kindly ask you to keep that between us. you understand of course.

i like you. always have. one day we'll meet up over beers and exchange vague glances and winks.

till then, viva la ambiguity!....er...i mean truth

[Dennis Leahy]

I'm hyper-uber-immortal! Good to meet you, but too bad you are only immortal. I fear for your safety if we clash, but how else can we prove our immortality?

I think we should have a duel, only we should use bazookas. We can charge $100 per household on pay-per view! Hell, maybe even get our own TV show, where we attempt to kill one another a different way each week! Monster trucks, lasers, grenades, lofting corpses with Black Plague at one another using catapults... I'll check and see if Gaia TV has a slot open for us.

[Mike]

I'm hyper-uber-immortal! Good to meet you, but too bad you are only immortal. I fear for your safety if we clash, but how else can we prove our immortality?

I think we should have a duel, only we should use bazookas. We can charge $100 per household on pay-per view! Hell, maybe even get our own TV show, where we attempt to kill one another a different way each week! Monster trucks, lasers, grenades, lofting corpses with Black Plague at one another using catapults... I'll check and see if Gaia TV has a slot open for us.



well that would be too...um...too,uh....sorry, hang on a sec...

("what's that word again Corey?")

invasive! that's it. it would be too invasive. you know, like hypnotism.

p.s. send me a pm and explain uber immortality please. i don't think this channel is safe.

[Dennis Leahy]

I'm hyper-uber-immortal! Good to meet you, but too bad you are only immortal. I fear for your safety if we clash, but how else can we prove our immortality?

I think we should have a duel, only we should use bazookas. We can charge $100 per household on pay-per view! Hell, maybe even get our own TV show, where we attempt to kill one another a different way each week! Monster trucks, lasers, grenades, lofting corpses with Black Plague at one another using catapults... I'll check and see if Gaia TV has a slot open for us.



well that would be too...um...too,uh....sorry, hang on a sec...

("what's that word again Corey?")

invasive! that's it. it would be too invasive. you know, like hypnotism.

p.s. send me a pm and explain uber immortality please. i don't think this channel is safe.

"Uber-immortality" is like when you really really can't die.

"Hyper-uber-immortality" is like when you really, really, really, REALLY can't die.

There is no un-safe zone for us... unless you are a phony immortal!

I don't have time to PM you right now, I'm taking a bath in sulfuric acid, with a plugged-in toaster as a substitute rubber ducky.

[Mike]

oh, i see. it's like infinity infinity. that makes total sense.

what about scalar weapons? could they harm us? i don't know what they are exactly, but i have them listed here as something i should mention if i want people to believe me. i have it all alphabetized btw...it's slid in nicely between satanic sorcerers and shamanic journeys. hey can anyone else besides you read what i'm writing right now? wink 3 times if they can, and i'll start acting sincere. but don't be too obvious about it.

and get that damn toaster out of your bathtub! that head of hair would be a terrible thing to waste. oh wait, you're immortal. that's right (#meToo)

[Mike]

****, i think i'm being followed. wait, never mind, i'm in a conga line...

(celebrating my 1,222nd birthday)

[onawah]

You guys have really missed out, and you have NO idea what invasive really is.
I'm a perpetual Walk-In, and when I get tired of being someone, I just jump into someone else.
So not only am I immortal, but I get to have as many different lifetimes as I want.
And I don't even have to be in proximity when I jump ship--I took astral traveling lessons from this British ponce once who showed me how to shop around on the astral for the next person whose body I want to inhabit.
Of course, there is usually some resistance, but when people are in a befuddled state, it's pretty easy, and there is a lot of that about these days...
I mean, after all, why would I want to jump into someone's body who isn't having a good time?
But I have to tell you, Mike, you better get out of that conga line, because that's kind of what I see on the astral sometimes, a big, long line of people whose bodies were taken, without going through a natural death.
See, they don't know any of the astral travelling tricks I've learned, so they just get stuck there, waiting around for someone or something to show them where to go next.
As long as they don't figure out I was the one who took their bodies, it's not a problem.
I definitely don't want any of them hanging around and haunting me, but it's not that hard to throw them off the scent.
The only drawback is that I have to get a lot of therapy.
I used to go to Zen Masters for help, but they would always give me that same stupid koan, "Who am I"?
And that's the problem--I can't remember!!
So I've started therapy, but most psychologists don't have a clue, and during my last past-life regression the therapist freaked out and had a nervous breakdown, right in the middle of the session!
I think I'd like to try getting into one of those Jump Rooms and going to Mars, just long enough to check it out up there and then come back again.
And maybe see if the military has perfected time travel yet, so I could go visit the past or the future.
I'm telling you, you just don't know what you're missing!
Being immortal is a big bore if you don't spice it up with some variety. :wink:

[Bill Ryan]

There can be only one! :)

[Strat]

There can be only one! :)

Dunno if yall ever knew this but Mike's real name is Duncan...
ypyvcfnu4Gg

[Franny]

Mike, I have a question. How did you become immortal, is it a 12 strand DNA thing? Or perhaps a weird and creepy ritual you can't talk about?

[Karen (Geophyz)]

You are all wrong. The only immortal is a woman...ME! Can you give birth...nope! Besides I can pop in and out of time at different intervals. I can take you all before you have any idea what is happening. Just ask my children...they will tell you, I always knew what they were doing and where and when they were lying! When they were small I shape shifted into what every imaginary creature they wanted me to be! Mike the reason the man looked strange to you is because it was a woman...me.

[Frank V]

There can be only one! :)


https://res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--rvhTgN4l--/t_Preview/b_rgb:191919,c_limit,f_jpg,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1470696471/production/designs/623073_1.jpg

[Mike]

Mike, I have a question. How did you become immortal, is it a 12 strand DNA thing? Or perhaps a weird and creepy ritual you can't talk about?


Good question. There's things I can and can't talk about. But I can't really talk about the things I can talk about, and I can talk less about the things I can't. I can't even really talk about not being able to talk about stuff, but since I've already broken the rules, let's see what I can say..

12 strands of DNA = immortality.

Immortality has 10 letters.

12 - 10 = 2.

The number 2 represents duality. It also represents the number of bowel movements I've had today.

Do you understand what I'm saying or do I need to spell it out for you?

Being immortal is not all It's cracked up to be. Existing in a sea of infinity is almost like not existing at all. Limitations, ironically, open up whole new worlds and possibilities. Without limitation, things lose their meaning. Urgency and inspiration vanish, as does desire..because the things I once desired ive exhausted having had them billions of times over. With no reason to look back and nothing to look forward to besides endless repetition, I've become something of a non person.

Your time construct is a blessing. Don't ever grow out of it. Don't ever become immortal. You'll feel intoxicatingly evil and omnipotent for about 5 minutes, but once you've toasted Satan with alien blood under a full moon and emitted your best Sith Lord laugh, it's all down hill from there.

The ritual I'll communicate to you telepathically. But before i do i'll announce my presence by turning your front yard into a bigfoot shaped crop circle. Thats how youll know its me and not some imposter from the lower ass trail.


.

[Delight]

There can be only one! :)

That would be me.


Being immortal is a big bore if you don't spice it up with some variety.

That is why I invented "you". But now I really really really messed up and cannot get rid of all of "you", no matter how I try, you have taken on a life of your own and have actually started to DISAGREE with me. OY.

[DeDukshyn]

Hey Mike,

I can sell you some immortality enhancing herbs if you like ... pharma grade, harvested from sustainable resources, GMO and pesticide free, etc. Pricing is reasonable and its Joe Rogan tested and approved.

Not feeling immortal enough? Some guy named Dennis, or perhaps a lady named Delight are touting their immortality as superior to yours? Look no further, increase your immortality by up to 32% according to clinical human trials. Send me a PM, and I'll hook you up. I haven't made the offer yet to Dennis or Delight, so let me know asap if you want to have stronger immortality than your peers ... just sayin' - you get dibs.

[Frank V]

Somehow I feel an urge to post this...




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c75cOL0G8I

[Mike]

You guys have really missed out, and you have NO idea what invasive really is.
I'm a perpetual Walk-In, and when I get tired of being someone, I just jump into someone else.
So not only am I immortal, but I get to have as many different lifetimes as I want.
And I don't even have to be in proximity when I jump ship--I took astral traveling lessons from this British ponce once who showed me how to shop around on the astral for the next person whose body I want to inhabit.
Of course, there is usually some resistance, but when people are in a befuddled state, it's pretty easy, and there is a lot of that about these days...
I mean, after all, why would I want to jump into someone's body who isn't having a good time?
But I have to tell you, Mike, you better get out of that conga line, because that's kind of what I see on the astral sometimes, a big, long line of people whose bodies were taken, without going through a natural death.
See, they don't know any of the astral travelling tricks I've learned, so they just get stuck there, waiting around for someone or something to show them where to go next.
As long as they don't figure out I was the one who took their bodies, it's not a problem.
I definitely don't want any of them hanging around and haunting me, but it's not that hard to throw them off the scent.
The only drawback is that I have to get a lot of therapy.
I used to go to Zen Masters for help, but they would always give me that same stupid koan, "Who am I"?
And that's the problem--I can't remember!!
So I've started therapy, but most psychologists don't have a clue, and during my last past-life regression the therapist freaked out and had a nervous breakdown, right in the middle of the session!
I think I'd like to try getting into one of those Jump Rooms and going to Mars, just long enough to check it out up there and then come back again.
And maybe see if the military has perfected time travel yet, so I could go visit the past or the future.
I'm telling you, you just don't know what you're missing!
Being immortal is a big bore if you don't spice it up with some variety. :wink:




fascinating. truly.

i eagerly await your question.

[edina]

What's the purpose of this thread?


(Forum Guidelines (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/forumdisplay.php?62-General-Forum-Information))

[Mike]

You are all wrong. The only immortal is a woman...ME! Can you give birth...nope! Besides I can pop in and out of time at different intervals. I can take you all before you have any idea what is happening. Just ask my children...they will tell you, I always knew what they were doing and where and when they were lying! When they were small I shape shifted into what every imaginary creature they wanted me to be! Mike the reason the man looked strange to you is because it was a woman...me.



about 500 years ago, on my 722nd birthday on a different timeline, i was driving back home from my downtown area with a friend. the highway straddled a lake, and as i gazed out over the water i couldn't shake this sickening sense of depression i had in my gut. just then, my friend said, "it's murder, isn't it?"

it was like he'd read my mind.

we'd struck out with some women that night, and tho we put a humorous and maybe even macho spin on it all just a few minutes earlier, we were now feeling like such sh!t that the only thing that made sense in the moment was to confess it openly.

they were random women, we did not know them. we were likely silly and obnoxious, and justifiably rejected. i can't quite recall. but it didn't matter. we were deemed insufficient in some way, and the sickening sense of failure went way beyond our wounded egos.

women don't just give life, they are life itself as a result. and getting rejected by those women that night was like being rejected by life itself. that's why it hurt so much.

it's taken me 500 years to sort all that out. immortality has it's merits.

anyway..no i can't give birth, to answer your question. and when you're ready to stop pretending you're immortal and assume the subservient attitude of a mere mortal, i'll be perfectly willing to pretend to be happy to circuitously answer any questions you may have in the most skeletal way possible.

be blessed

[Dennis Leahy]

Hey Mike,

I can sell you some immortality enhancing herbs if you like ... pharma grade, harvested from sustainable resources, GMO and pesticide free, etc. Pricing is reasonable and its Joe Rogan tested and approved.

Not feeling immortal enough? Some guy named Dennis, or perhaps a lady named Delight are touting their immortality as superior to yours? Look no further, increase your immortality by up to 32% according to clinical human trials. Send me a PM, and I'll hook you up. I haven't made the offer yet to Dennis or Delight, so let me know asap if you want to have stronger immortality than your peers ... just sayin' - you get dibs.
You had better jump on it, Mike. If not, I'm gonna snag some of that fine herb and become ultra-hyper-uber-immortal, which, as you can guess, would include exponentially more "really's" in the description.

But, we have several more declared immortals in this thread now, and I think edina wants in too, so maybe rather than a weekly one-on-one duel, we should go for more of a Big Time Wrestling-style rumble, where any two of us are in the ring, we give and take a few punches, and then tag someone else in. I'm positive Gaia TV will give us a slot!

[Mike]

What's the purpose of this thread?


(Forum Guidelines (http://projectavalon.net/forum4/forumdisplay.php?62-General-Forum-Information))



finally! a question!

but such a bad one...

it's ok. god loves a tryer

[Mike]

Hey Mike,

I can sell you some immortality enhancing herbs if you like ... pharma grade, harvested from sustainable resources, GMO and pesticide free, etc. Pricing is reasonable and its Joe Rogan tested and approved.

Not feeling immortal enough? Some guy named Dennis, or perhaps a lady named Delight are touting their immortality as superior to yours? Look no further, increase your immortality by up to 32% according to clinical human trials. Send me a PM, and I'll hook you up. I haven't made the offer yet to Dennis or Delight, so let me know asap if you want to have stronger immortality than your peers ... just sayin' - you get dibs.
You had better jump on it, Mike. If not, I'm gonna snag some of that fine herb and become ultra-hyper-uber-immortal, which, as you can guess, would include exponentially more "really's" in the description.

But, we have several more declared immortals in this thread now, and I think edina wants in too, so maybe rather than a weekly one-on-one duel, we should go for more of a Big Time Wrestling-style rumble, where any two of us are in the ring, we give and take a few punches, and then tag someone else in. I'm positive Gaia TV will give us a slot!



i suspect you're already on that herb. you look eternally youthful and vibrant , and along with PainterDoug are one of the most handsome men on the forum, hands down.

i'm convinced you dye your hair and beard grey, as a way of concealing your uber immortality'ness. come on, fess up.

i had a dream about a week ago that you were a boxer and you were kicking my ass relentlessly. true story. so i find your insistence on a face off unsettling.

is this to be real or fake wrestling?

[DeDukshyn]

Hey Mike,

I can sell you some immortality enhancing herbs if you like ... pharma grade, harvested from sustainable resources, GMO and pesticide free, etc. Pricing is reasonable and its Joe Rogan tested and approved.

Not feeling immortal enough? Some guy named Dennis, or perhaps a lady named Delight are touting their immortality as superior to yours? Look no further, increase your immortality by up to 32% according to clinical human trials. Send me a PM, and I'll hook you up. I haven't made the offer yet to Dennis or Delight, so let me know asap if you want to have stronger immortality than your peers ... just sayin' - you get dibs.
You had better jump on it, Mike. If not, I'm gonna snag some of that fine herb and become ultra-hyper-uber-immortal, which, as you can guess, would include exponentially more "really's" in the description.

But, we have several more declared immortals in this thread now, and I think edina wants in too, so maybe rather than a weekly one-on-one duel, we should go for more of a Big Time Wrestling-style rumble, where any two of us are in the ring, we give and take a few punches, and then tag someone else in. I'm positive Gaia TV will give us a slot!



i suspect you're already on that herb ...

Hey now. It was a small sample, a guy has to pay bills, right? Plus me and Denman go waay back ... I got some new hydro coming in on Thursday. From Hawaii, apparently ... I got you personally dibs on that, I swear this time.

[onawah]

You guys just keep missing the boat.
Take the "t" out of the equation and you'll will have no need of questions, philosophical or otherwise.
(Take the hint--the Satan thread keeps dying due to lack of questions--it's explanations which are wanting.
But then, Satan should never have entered the discussion, as that always seems to end in a dead end--after all, who wants to entertain thoughts of everlasting Hell? :evil: :mad2: :flame:)
But a wrestling ring, where sheer, moronic immorality is what wins, https://media.giphy.com/media/8nmvR3jAxnl2o/giphy.gif
...might suit to a "t", if that's not too confusing, and where all that's burning is a lot of prime weed. :smokin: :cool::hat:
And everyone enjoys getting the s--t kicked out of them, and keeps coming back for more!
Not to be too obvious, but I'd say that the purpose of this thread is to keep some humor bubbling away on the forum back burner; all because of the "b" word.
(That is, boring--which is what we become when we take all the serious discussion too... seriously.:yawn: :nod:)