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Josh88

3rd May 2021, 21:18

To start, I am the grandson of a NAZI P.O.W. A bellygunner, on a B-17 shot down early in the U.S. involvement. The Germans had him for 3 years. He escaped and fought with the french underground for awhile. Upon his return to the states, he was put through OCS, and later went to Korea during that war. When he retired, he moved his family from Texas, to Palo Alto California. His oldest Daughter married a Drummer for a band that had 2 drummers, and toured extensively, And the Lead guitarist Like Cherry Garcia Ice cream(lol). Nextdoor the the house the band lived in was a C_A op, called midnight climax, part of the MK Ultra program. That Aunt would later go to work at Fairchild Elec. and Marry a future Fairchild Executive.(Clown Tie) My mother would be the younger sister, also exposed to this 60's music scene. My grandfather later got a Government Job in washington state, and Moved his family again, at the same time, My father' family moved to the same area, from Iowa. My fathers family is connected to the Founding Fathers. George Washington is my 2nd cousin obviously several times removed, ect.

I saw my first UFO when I was 12. We were driving on Broadway in Everett Wa. on a part that is high on a hill overlooking the Snohomish river valley. It was '82. The Ufo paced us as we drove. My mom yelled at me not to look at it.

That same year I had a vision or a dream, a face I couldn't see told me I was the sword of God. Which I pretty much forgot about till i was in my 20's. (I'm wondering if my clock works orange):bigsmile:IDK. I was born 40 weeks after man walked on the moon if he did......

Also that year, My uncle who is a Russell, and Graduated from Annapolis and worked for the government after he got out in various capacities, entered my life.

2nd one was as an Adult same general area. I was 38 and on my way home from my territory sales job. I lived in Lake Stevens which is on the other side of the valley from Everett, but within 5 miles of my first sighting. It paced me until I turned down my street, then It hung in my sight as if to say, Hi! and then grew into a much larger ball of light and vanished. pretty trippy.

I enlisted in the Army when I was 17, and went to boot camp right out of highschool.
While in Boot camp, I got really sick. !03 temp. I was admitted to the hospital, and was unconscious for 3 days. I don't remember anything.I missed some immunizations, and never had to get them. I'm one of the only people I know that is prior service without a scar on my shoulder from the big nasty shot they give you. Nobody else from my unit got sick. I was the only soldier in my hospital room, 6 beds only me.

I'm O-, Celtic R1b1a2a, and T-2 MtDna. I have a very small amount of Nansemond Native blood through My 11th great grandfather Peter "the great nansemond warrior chief" Tucker. I have some really odd memories, and have had some lucid dreams of a high level Dinner party where the Clinton's were present.

In my family tree you would find, Kennedy's, Collins, Bundy, and about 10 other names frequently associated.

If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

Thank you in advance

Bluegreen

3rd May 2021, 22:33

Yes this sounds very familiar. Dave McGowan's Weird Scenes Inside the Goldmine: The Strange But Mostly True Story of Laurel Canyon, available on this website, covers some of what you are talking about.

Avalon member TrumanCash recommends memory recovery without hypnosis, and there are a couple of books at the bottom of his posts. You might go through one of those and see if there is anything there for you. If so, you may want to take him up on a very generous offer. There is more information here:

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?52786-MATRIX-REVEALED-Analysis-Solutions&p=1312158&viewfull=1#post1312158

Josh88

3rd May 2021, 22:46

thank you. I'm trying to make sense out of what goes on in my head. I went into the Army, kind of normal guy. I wasn't that great of an athlete in school. But after basic training I turned into a different person. over the years as an adult. My personality has cycled through several different types of people, But as I've gotten into my fifties I feel like there's a battle for control of my life.

And If it's true that they target certain groups, and track the bloodlines. Would they even miss me?

My house get's circled by Blackhawks, a few times a month. I always wave:highfive:
I sleep with cold steel under my bed, and 5 feet away is Mr. Boomstick.
Ive been on Burner phones for 5 years, and regularly switch numbers, and change e-mail addresses. But I'm tired and getting old. I'm a 9 out of 10 on the ACES assessment, which qualifies as CPTSD.

Josh88

3rd May 2021, 22:58

Is this standard life style for the mentally hacked?

Inversion

3rd May 2021, 23:29

Josh88

3rd May 2021, 23:37

Inversion

3rd May 2021, 23:54

Josh88

4th May 2021, 00:00

Inversion

4th May 2021, 00:12

I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.

The Gray abductee Jim Sparks described something similar to that in his book The Keepers. He was sitting in his living room and a vortex opened up and was pulling his physical body. He wrote that he felt a pulling sensation in his gut.

Jaye B.

4th May 2021, 00:33

It might help to keep visual journals, sketches of your dreams and other experiences. It will help in developing the detached observer, i.e., the experience of looking at all that is happening, standing outside of yourself and not being effected by it. A guy I know deep into milabs does this and it seems to help him stay grounded.

Josh88

4th May 2021, 01:41

I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.

Josh88

4th May 2021, 12:46

So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?

Bill Ryan

4th May 2021, 15:13

ExomatrixTV

4th May 2021, 15:23

If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

Yes. Contact Avalon member James Newell (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?30394-James-Newell) (known to everyone as Jim) — either by Personal Message (PM), or through his website at https://getmoreable.com (maybe better, as he's not always online here). Jim can help you recover all your memories both from this life and from previous ones.

I got a warning about getmoreable(dot)com not being safe according to FireFox Browser ... then I decided to go further anyway and saw only that they know my IP address ... nothing more ... weird.

cheers,
John

Mark

4th May 2021, 19:43

I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.

You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat? I did, on military bases around the world. This is the opening/pathway to bringing on an OOBE. Read Robert Monroe's book, "Journeys Out of the Body" to find out how to harness that ability. It's not hard if you are already getting the vibrations regularly. That's the hardest part to bring about just by trying to. But once you do, the multiverse is the limit.

I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.

This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.

So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?

That's what they are and yes.

Sadieblue

4th May 2021, 19:55

Josh88

4th May 2021, 21:14

I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.

You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat? I did, on military bases around the world. This is the opening/pathway to bringing on an OOBE. Read Robert Monroe's book, "Journeys Out of the Body" to find out how to harness that ability. It's not hard if you are already getting the vibrations regularly. That's the hardest part to bring about just by trying to. But once you do, the multiverse is the limit.

I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.

This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.

So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?

That's what they are and yes.

I didn't grow up on a base but moved a lot as a kid. My Dad was absent a lot, but I think he was an asset. Gen 3 , amphetamine driven.
My mother was a Military brat, and as I said think My grandfather was probably, O.S.S., and or a Clown. as well as my uncle who went to Annapolis, and held a GS 15 job after the service, in the Bay Area.

I had been groomed to join the Marine Corp. as a kid, but fell victim to a Army recruiter my Junior year. I entered as a aircraft mechanic, but applied for 18D twice while I was CONUS, and Applied for Ranger school/Jump School/Air Assault/ect.
To say I was Gung Ho would be a severe understatement.

Josh88

5th May 2021, 21:54

I'm having some real breakthroughs. And Have an appointment with someone who specializes in this area. Thanks to all for your support and help, this has been hell on earth for along time and I see the Light at the end of the tunnel.

Grey Brain

21st May 2021, 00:58

Hope all is going well. It sounds like you are already into this. I have a couple bits of advice... You've probably already thought of them, but i wouldn't feel right if I didn't suggest them.

Regardless if you are using 'soft' or 'hard' memory recall techniques, a dam could break at any time = flood. Try to make sure you have a stable base with backup resources and can take a week or two off from day to day work/life as some upheavals can be extremely destabilizing. Not about if you're tough enough... It just might change your frame of mind, and set you off in various ways emotionally and/or idealistically, so it's important to plan for if you need to take sudden time off. For this most need cash.

Related to upheaval and rapid changes to your frame of mind is a word of caution. I don't like to trust anyone, so I don't want to say have a friend to run new ideas by before you implement them, but what I would strongly recommend is to not make any major decisions without 24, 48, or 72 hours passing by. Upheaval can lead to very reckless behavior even if the intention was otherwise... I've seen this with random/garden variety upheaval, but also programmed responses to upheaval ~ CSRS conditioned stimulii response sequence, Wernicke's commands, etc. I've seen many make harsh decisions during times of upheaval that were to their detriment.

Just keep in mind - no matter what you remember, and how it makes you feel, - if it makes you feel angry, or paranoid, or even scared, like you need to do something urgently - the only thing about your situation that has changed is the fact that you are consciously recalling. That can sometimes help people stay grounded... just keeping in mind that the only thing about your situation that has changed is the conscious recall... So no matter how it feels, you didn't 'just enter a situation' so even if you start to feel like the situation you are dealing with merits urgent action, take some deep breaths and at least sleep on it, or properly prepare.

Not trying to put any of that on you, might be no problem for you, but from my experience I feel obligated to say this. I've just seen many things happen during memory work... From lives completely derailing, to just overall quality of life going down, so please make sure you take care.

With taking care of yourself during memory work, my last bit of advice for now - have a healthy physical outlet in place (punching bag, gym membership, pool pass), and a healthy creative/expressive outlet in place (supplies for artwork, even music, etc) - and use them. Even if you don't really feel like it (I mean take time off sometimes), it will usually make you feel better and help keep you balanced, healthy, and also aid in the work. I recommend taking notes as well, although that type of thing many have strong urges against.

Victoria

18th June 2021, 08:22

You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat?

I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.

This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.

Josh, I hope you are doing well and that you have the support you need while uncovering your past. Thank you for posting about your experiences. It will help a lot of people who have experienced similarly.

You & Mark have answered one of my most enduring questions...all these years, I wondered what on earth those intelligence tests were that none of my other friends in various states or schools or countries had ever done. The memories came rushing back to me when I saw this image online several years ago, because it is exactly as I remember. I printed it out 20 or so times to share with family and friends and nobody recalled anything similar. Yes, it's a C. Goode image...but the aspect it shows is 100% real...whatever it represents...that's real.
46845

It's easy to feel kind of futile and confused when no one else remembers experiencing the same and there is nobody to bounce the memories off of.

I knew the tests had happened, because my mother still clearly remembers driving long distances to deliver me to them, how we were treated and that it was only required of me, not for any of my other siblings. We never could discern why, if it was just for school, the tests were were administered by military personnel, despite me no longer attending KAFB. We never lived on the base, I just went to school there. Things that don't make sense years later...but by then, it's too late to ask.

Batteries of tests, behind felted panel partitions in small cubicles given by doctors and military personnel. Extremely strict and freezing cold environments. We drove across state and out of state for the tests, over and over, like it was an honor to be invited and of utmost importance. All this time, I thought it was linked to Gifted and TAG programs, but nobody else in those classes who I asked had been through the same. Their tests were given at school or local educational facilities.

I said "no" during one of the rounds which included timed puzzles, and just like you mention Josh, guessing which symbol card was behind the panel for the gazillionth episode. We had been at it for many hours and I started to feel trapped, so I refused to do the tests further and flat out defied the uniformed man in charge. He became animatedly angry at me, reprimanded my mother who he called in, and demanded her to make me comply. Not good. That made me defensive of her and her defensive of me.

Alarmed by his tone and that there was suddenly not a choice in the matter, she took me home against strong vocal and nearly physical objection. Thankfully, she remained adamant and we left for the last time.

When I returned to school, despite not finishing the tests, I was bumped up into classes with children from 1 to 4 grades above me in a group that competed in state and national competitions. Being already young for my own grade level, because my parents started me early, it was a miserable time and I just wanted to go back to something familiar.

At some point during this period, I started having unusual experiences hearing what I thought were angels singing above my bed at night, thinking I had weird magical powers, extreme instances of precognition...and our family began getting unusual attention.

It could have been sheer coincidence, but it all happened at the same time. A car that was waiting, parked around the corner from our house, tried to run me over as I was riding my bike, driving up into a neighbor's yard across the lawn to do so. I saw it before it happened and knew the two men were there before they had ever turned on the vehicle or peeled out toward me as I passed. Even though I was somehow warned beforehand, I wasn't exactly sure what to do to avoid it, but was able to escape safely, getting the license plate, their descriptions and filed a report afterward.

My mother took me out with friends for my 5th birthday around that same time and when we left the movie theater, I noticed wires hanging down under the vehicle and something dripping. Everything had been disconnected while we were inside, which I tried to point out before we climbed in, but my mother was delightfully oblivious. We didn't get very far before her suburban overheated and caught on fire. I remember thinking I had to rescue my little sister in her car seat and jumped out the back window as the vehicle was still moving, beating feet down the pavement as fast as I could carry her in case it exploded. We were also followed in frightening situations several times after that and whenever I was with my father, he would carry a gun on the dashboard.

Then, same timespan, was a strange experience of what I thought was a large moon outside of my window, and I awoke with broken capillaries, shins that bent like spaghetti and bruising all over my extremities, unable to stand. My parents rushed me to the hospital where doctors were at a total loss, and resorted to calling police in what they thought might be an abuse case. The staff tried to take me away from my parents, but my father wouldn't have it.

He had enough, I guess, after sending me to live with other family members and taking me out of school. We finally moved to another state and the craziness mostly stopped except for weird episodes of missing time and unusual weather phenomena that kind of followed me.

I never had any military childhood friends to ask in the years after that, because even though my father was Army, we traveled with the Foreign Service and never returned to any bases except for medical treatment. We always resorted to the navy hospitals for medical. Also, I guess I never really questioned any of it as unusual until attending university.

To see you writing about this, it's reassuring and I am interested to know what you learn as you go forward if you're willing to share... you both have obviously experienced the same...maybe it really is something unique to being military brats. Thank you so much for posting about it. :star:

Mark

13th August 2021, 21:37

Hi Victoria, sorry for the belated reply, I've been away for a while. :)

You & Mark have answered one of my most enduring questions...all these years, I wondered what on earth those intelligence tests were that none of my other friends in various states or schools or countries had ever done.

I've been test resistant for many years, since the youngest ages, probably for this reason. My first memories of strange mechanical tests and contraptions are from kindergarten at Hamilton Air Field in Novato, CA at in the early 70s (one of the storage sites for the Roswell wreck, for a while and a place of many UAP sightings), then around 3rd grade being taken from classes into smaller rooms with a few other kids and given other kinds of lessons was in the third grade, at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, Mississippi. I have some kind of vague memory of being told at the time that I was in a special class. As an adult, I asked both of my parents if they knew anything about that, and they had no idea, had not been told I was being tested and I wonder if they believed that this had even happened to me. :)

It's easy to feel kind of futile and confused when no one else remembers experiencing the same and there is nobody to bounce the memories off of.

Right. I've got a best friend I've known since Kindergarten whom I've always wanted to ask about such things, but I sense that she has blocked it all out and I don't want to open her up to that craziness since her life now is really, really mundane and normative at for folks our age.

At some point during this period, I started having unusual experiences hearing what I thought were angels singing above my bed at night, thinking I had weird magical powers, extreme instances of precognition...and our family began getting unusual attention.

My baby sister tells a story about a time when we lived on Scott AFB in southern Illinois, I snuck out to the base 4 Seasons to get us some snacks and she was riding on my handlebars. I remember we crashed at some point and her crying and blood. That's it. Well, she tells me that that was not it. That we were picked up by a black van right after the crash and some med techs worked on her leg and patched her up. The last time she told me this story I said I had no memory of this and asked her what I was doing while she was getting patched up. She said I was sitting in the back just staring straight ahead, the entire time. She says this is when she decided to become a doctor. She must have been 4 or 5 at the time.

So much strangeness. I am content to leave it, as I will not allow anyone 'into my head'. Perhaps some day it will all become clear to me, perhaps my next Kensho will include a flash of of returned memory or greater access to the Akashic. I could talk to you about the gifts that I brought out of childhood and the psychospiritual revelations I've had during adulthood but I just wanted to respond and commiserate, being raised in such strange environs is not something that many people share and those of us who do share these experiences should talk about it whenever we can.

pabranno

13th August 2021, 23:31

Thank you for sharing, Rahkyt.

I sure have missed you🤗

Pamela

Victoria

16th August 2021, 15:08

Mark,

Thank you, and welcome back! I wonder if anybody has made a poll/open study for military brats to find out very roughly the frequency and nature of these experiences? I think if the public could be more active in investigating, it might yield interesting results.

Every once in a while somebody pops up to ask questions and then slips away again on this forum or on other websites. Maybe seeing a mass of correlations and similar experiences in one place would be eye opening. I think milabs are much more widely endured than people recognize.

That's incredible that you were able to compare memories with your sister and she experienced the event so differently: a confirmation that they just shut you on and off. Glad you have her support.
I've experienced that with my sisters, where it's as though someone flipped a switch with them mid sentence during an event, and now they have no recollection at all of what happened afterward...left completely blank.

And to know a van actually picked you up? :( In two incidents* when we have had experiences during the night, our cameras alerted us to a white van oddly parked directly in front of the house, or at the end of the driveway right before dawn. ( We live out where nobody just wanders by) It was troubling but I dismissed them as strange coincidence, because nobody got out or in before the vehicles left again.

47216

I wonder if whoever is behind this can do something from the van remotely without visibly/physically removing people, which might be remembered as actually being inside of it? Kind of like dreaming of abductions instead of physically experiencing them and not being able to distinguish that it actually happened.

Not letting anyone into your head is a good, good idea, stay level and in control. :muscle: I'm learning that the massive amount of mindspace (and hours eaten up in seconds) with these subjects, or when trying to remember, is alarming. Entire days can inexplicably go by in the blink of an eye and if I stop to examine that, things feel much less stable...almost like experiencing missing time. It's good to keep strangeness at arms length or further so it doesn't derail life...that adage about where attention goes, energy flows.

Thank you, Mark. I would love to hear more about your experiences (any that you don't mind revisiting) and what you came away with. You are much appreciated. :heart:

* just remembered: make that three incidents, though this last one, it was a black van in an experience 3-4 yrs ago that involved a woman who was contracted by the military for NLP in Washington state (I think?). Interestingly, she was outwardly and inexplicably very hostile toward me- almost unable to control herself. Meeting her was like meeting an entity that loathed my very being...really made me question whether we have alternate simultaneous lives.

:focus:

Mark

7th September 2021, 19:34

Thanks Pamela, Life is once again taking off into the stratosphere lol I drop through when I am looking for good conversation and thoughtful ideas about the state of the world today.

Mark

7th September 2021, 20:00

Hi Victoria, I sometimes think about these things and wonder if they've continued in my life or if Ive somehow been let go or if directives concerning me have shifted. I know I haven't had what i would consider to b directed experiences of this nature in decades. The last formal conscious event that happened was when I was newly out of the army, a college student. I was at an airport, I don’t remember which one, you know how layovers and such things can be. But i was standing in line to check in and I helped a woman with a baby move her bags in front of me. Right after, this man approached me. He was white, about 5’8 or so, kind of scruffy and wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis with a straw fedora, lol dude looked like a stereotypical agency shill and, sure enough, he told me that I looked like ex-military, I confirmed, curious about his intentions. He told me if i was ever interested, I should apply for the Air Defense Agency and he gave me a card.

After the gulf war i was done with the military and this was somewhere between 93 and 96, so he was barking up the wrong tree on the wrong planet in the absolutely wrong galaxy. I pocketed the card but only looked at it in a cursorial manner at the time. I remember seeing it once again in memory, I must have thrown it away at some point or it got lost in the shuffle of life.

Oh, I lost 3 hours once in the Denver Airport. That was strange.

My sister confirming what had happened was more than that, i remember the accident but i have absolutely no memory of a van except for how my mind’s eye reconstitutes the scene and i have no idea if that is really memory or imagination.

That is an interesting thought about the van possibilities. I have always considered such things to be the purview of ETs and extra-dimensional entities but I have on good authority here in PA that some branches of our military have access to 4D Tech and use it to create false synchronicities and otherwise fark with our perception of reality.

pabranno

8th September 2021, 00:43

Mark

12th October 2021, 02:24

Mark/Rahkyt,
Those are very curious incidents. I would be interested in any follow-up insights, if you are willing and able. If such things happened to me, I don’t know how I would even begin processing it. I’d probably be too scared to delve more deeply.
Thanks for sharing.

Pamela

Hi Pamela, it's all the stuff of daily life and quite tame compared to so many who come through this Forum. :)

My life now is interesting enough, the synchronicities and pathways that are opening up to me have me humbled and grateful in daily life. Please forgive the distance between my responses, but thank you for asking.

Follow up insights?

Choice is choice. We all choose. Given the choice to become more deeply a part of the military-industrial complex when I was younger, I refused at every opportunity. I held on to my ideals, knowing at the time that the military couldn't live up to them, trapped as we were in the world of global economics and superpower monopoly. I've found that choice, following the path with heart, as Don Juan exhorted Casteneda to do, has led me someplace beyond all reckoning, that I could not have predicted. What seemed to have been no path at all, has turned into the pathless path, written in the sky.

Discovering the possibilities, becoming something other than any conception of who or what I could be has been a journey in self-knowledge and traveling down deep into the depths of personal knowing, then emerging to experience and testing the mettle of gnosis upon the crucible of life. I don't know what is coming next but I know it will be magical and beyond anything I can imagine, as our currently reality was, truly, beyond all prognostications. I'm curious and excited, I have no fear or foreboding. I have no fear of any of my experiences, past and present, no regrets, even through the bad times, the dark night of the soul times, the homeless, the jailed, the desperate times.

Through it all, these threads of command and control and deeper spiritual and psychic immersion have intertwined to create a panoply of wonder which I call memory lol and which others might call fantastic imaginings. Either way, it is and has all been real to me.

Inversion

29th April 2022, 17:58

If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

Thank you in advance

Tony Rodriquez claims his memories of a twenty & back program resurfaced after he had a MRI. Johan Fritz also makes that claim.

Tony & Johan: Link (www.youtube.com/watch?v=zej38h-offU)

20 & Back explained: Some report they're taken at about age seventeen, serve twenty years in a space program, aged regressed back to the time they were taken then time shifted back to the point of origin. From what I've heard the person may only be gone fifteen minutes.

After reading Tony's book there's another version of the 20 & back program that he refers to it as a Career Return Program. He was taken as a boy and placed in a stasis chamber. His consciousness was transferred to a clone created by the Grays and it received implants. After twenty years he was transferred back to his original body. The chips were removed from the clone as if to be reused. It didn't state what happened to the clone, but I presume they're disposed of. As a side note there are proclaimed giants in caverns all over the world that are in a crystal statis chambers that expand into the dimension of time. I heard the ratio is 30,000 years can pass outside while only thirty minutes pass on the inside. I suspect their release is weaved into a depopulation agenda and they'll be used to eliminate stragglers. Ceres Colony Cavalier (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?117788-Tony-Rodrigues-Talking-about-Space-Programs&highlight=tony+rodrigues)

In Donald Marshall's accounts on YT about the cloning centers he claims they're placed in shredders after they fulfill their purpose. YT (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMxbMUdWshnXpyA7onpUvPQ/videos)

I recall watching this one. video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv7gFIebrn4)

James Rink has an extensive amount of first-hand information about Milabs in his book Lone Wolf. Post #1 (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118606-James-Rink-Book-s--Videos&highlight=james+rink)

Victoria

19th June 2024, 17:32

Just thought to place this here as it references some of what was being spoken about in the original posts, and may help others with similar questions about childhood and their pasts regarding elementary school intelligence tests, zener cards, being monitored and subsequently winding up in covert programs without realizing it until much later in life. It also features one of the Avalon members (Grey Brain) who posted a very helpful response earlier in this same thread.

To note, I have not listened yet to the full video, but from the short bit that I have heard, feel it might be extremely pertinent for others and there are apparently new additions to this original interview currently in the process of being released online.

https://youtu.be/7E53uxsgEbw?si=fFL6c69PNuRLHpsO
53278
from Emma's thread: https://x.com/TheEmmapreneur/status/1803473218822418905

Denise/Dizi

20th June 2024, 15:04

So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?

I have had multiple "Downloads" (That's what they felt like, massive volumes of information that was so intense, I couldn't identify most of the information, and it took weeks the first time, for my brain to process it all, and file it away...) It disrupted my brain for several weeks until they found the proper speed for my brain to take in the information, and then "downloaded it" at that speed from then on...

If this sounds like your downloads, you're welcome to message me, and I will explain further...

Victoria

1st July 2024, 12:34

Updating this with the latest video that was released relating to childhood testing and potential connections to various agencies, paths in life, being remotely manipulated, trauma, creating mind files and even to ESP, occult rituals and UFO experiences. It is almost 5 hours long.

From the podcast description:

"Today, Grey is back for Part 2 of an episode series we started a couple months ago on gifted and talented programs and their relationships to the CIA, NDEA and MK ULTRA. Unbeknownst to most, MK ULTRA was right in our face within our school systems as GATE, TAG and other gifted and talented programs were rolled out and marketed to parents as a prestigious educational opportunity for their children who were recognized as having attributes such as a high IQ and heightened spiritual gifts - and what we found out on Pt 1 is that these programs that appear benign are actually a sinister way for the CIA to scout for gifted children to place in MK ULTRA and related experimental programs while portraying them as benevolent. A commonality of MK ULTRA and SRA survivors that we see on ‘The Imagination’ is their placement in these gifted programs in their formative school years, and it’s a consistency of many others who were enrolled in GATE and related programs to have very little or no memory recollection of what happened to them while in these classes. Grey’s expose and insights on this topic are valuable not only because he can speak from his own personal experience, but because what he shares demands us to ask some very serious questions about our government’s access to and involvement with our children through the very schools that parents are entrusting to protect their children. On today’s episode, Grey will be introducing us to some new crucial pieces of the gifted and talented puzzle including ‘The Mind Files’, more connections to MK ULTRA and the CIA, Project Talent and Keyhole, how the Montauk Project and Indigo children fit into the equation, and much more. "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnknNOnBamc?si=aZTneT0Y2cRT-WPs

stork

2nd October 2024, 10:07

I think it is the safest to wait for memories to naturally resurface. It will happen when it is safe to do so.

Alternatively, scifi movie/tv/game/anime also helps, because some writers are insiders, they just write about what happened. Watch for the intense emotional triggers. There is one game that triggers me so badly, not surprisingly it is about soldiers being genetically altered and experimented on.

Most of my memories are still blocked, but the ones I retrieved had killed me a thousand times. I don't recommend it unless you have gathered all the support you need. Most of all, a safe person to confide to.