Can Highly Sensitive Persons deal or cope with Passive Aggressiveness?

[ExomatrixTV]

Can HSP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPR1P_D8zjY) deal or cope with Passive Aggressiveness?






What do you think? Am I an annoying vegan, or is my argument actually fairly sound once you give it some thought?
More than annoying, very passive agressive.

Sarcasm at its best :)

Almost ... e v e r t h i n g ... can be interpreted/perceived as a "micro aggression" the moment you get annoyed about anything and let it be known to snowflakes lol :P

I'm with TomKat, it was passive aggressive, and so is your statement ExomatirixTV


My Unfiltered Perspectives ... Trigger Alert! :mod::

I assume that most HSP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPR1P_D8zjY) (Highly Sensitive Persons) cope/deal/handle "passive aggressiveness" differently than I do ...


How you let it "impact" you or not depends heavily how you LET it "impact" you ... it takes two to tango.

Am immune to (insecure) people who use tactical manipulative mind games what some call "passive aggressiveness" ... There are many ways to deal with that kind of "subtle" behavior (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcHnVoqKWM) ... I use the simple practical wisdom/insight that if someone does not know how to be frank & brutally honest and depends heavily on "indirect messages" I will not "play along" nor participate in "how to interpreted" subtle hints whatsoever ... Then I will often be accused of being "rude" but to me that is a given (them kicking an open door) ... because I really do not play those mind games I have much more energy/stamina left to focus more what is really important in life :)

Not being a victim of ANY "passive aggressiveness" tactics means it does not affect me one way or the other ... thus from my perspective it does not even register as "aggressive" to me >>> much more like watching some one being totally incompetent to be more outspoken & frank ... which is sad. Even if it was intended as "aggressive" I still see it as sad.


Only thing I do notice that those who use "passive aggressiveness" tactics will feel annoyed & frustrated when dealing with me https://projectavalon.net/forum4/images/smilies/wink_animated.gif and I really don't care about that. If I did, they "have me" to manipulate me in a certain direction.

https://i2.wp.com/psych2go.net//wp-content/uploads/2017/10/137926-138218.jpg?resize=268%2C188&ssl=1 (https://psych2go.net/signs-of-passive-aggressiveness/)

When that person finally decide to be 100% direct, unapologetic and completely honest towards me (which may be foreign to them to do) ... The next phase of the mind game may arise: using way too many exaggerations in their assumptions ... interpreting things differently because they are already so triggered causing to lose sight on what is really going on ...

This can happen to me too, I too can lose sight (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118223-Welcome-you-to-join-Lifechanyuan--My-Personal-Invitation-Email-&p=1494735#post1494735) of how things really are >>> but only if I am somehow "triggered" ... so am fully aware of these psychological mechanisms.


Sometimes the assumption of something being "Passive Aggressiveness" is the trigger to cause it be exactly that ... There are plenty examples that oversensitive or insecure people project their own incompetence on others to feel better. Playing the victim-card is seen as "the solution" how to deal with it ... because it give than a certain status.

The best way, in my view, to deal with all the above is being hilarious about it and laugh about yourself ... see videos below what I mean by that.

Question: If you do not know how to live in self-honesty and not being completely honest towards yourself you most likely end up attracting someone doing the same into your live! ... Thus you become mirrors in that type of relationship.

If you are brutally honest towards yourself and allow it be known is often assumed that "nobody likes you" ... Indeed less people find you "okay" to be with ... the few that do are often blunt themselves as they dig why you are like that ... and love you for it.


In what relationship-scenario do you think you learn the most about yourself?

https://images.chesscomfiles.com/uploads/v1/user/27474914.f5b631e7.160x160o.f6c78faaf102.png

cheers,
John Kuhles (https://whynotnews.eu) aka 'ExomatrixTV'
April 22th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳




disclaimer: when I say "you" I do not mean anyone in this Forum .. but more in general that it can happen to everybody (including me!).

[ExomatrixTV]

100% related Satire:

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q_NGVEtnJ7s

¤=[Post Update]=¤



Spiritual People Then vs Now:

https://1a-1791.com/video/s8/2/l/V/L/B/lVLBc.caa.mp4


source (https://rumble.com/voa7d7-spiritual-people-then-vs-now.html)

[Catechism]

How do you know if someone is Vegan?
They don't stop telling you

[Kryztian]

How do you know if someone is Vegan?
They don't stop telling you

That is an unfair and ridiculous stereotype. Most of the vegans I know are pretty low key about their dietary choices.

But you might want to take your thoughts on this to this thread
Non-Vegans = People With No Empathy? (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118411-Non-Vegans-People-With-No-Empathy)

They are not HSP over there and are ready for whatever you throw at them.

:focus:

[ExomatrixTV]

How do you know if someone is Vegan?
They don't stop telling you

That is an unfair and ridiculous stereotype. Most of the vegans I know are pretty low key about their dietary choices.

But you might want to take your thoughts on this to this thread
Non-Vegans = People With No Empathy? (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118411-Non-Vegans-People-With-No-Empathy)

They are not HSP over there and are ready for whatever you throw at them.

:focus:

To me he was obvious being hilarious ... most know that it is stereo-typing ... and those who assumes it is "fact" is not (y)our responsibility to worry about them ...


Catechism (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?48959-Catechism) joining date Project Avalon Forum: "April 1st, 2022" <<< that "explains" everything ;)
He will be our practical joker to stir someone up by default.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Catechism]

How do you know if someone is Vegan?
They don't stop telling you

That is an unfair and ridiculous stereotype. Most of the vegans I know are pretty low key about their dietary choices.

But you might want to take your thoughts on this to this thread
Non-Vegans = People With No Empathy? (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118411-Non-Vegans-People-With-No-Empathy)

They are not HSP over there and are ready for whatever you throw at them.

:focus:

I haven't got time , I have to attend to the detritus in my navel apart from ruminating about it first, I was only joking apologies for crayoning on this post

[Matthew]

Can HSP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPR1P_D8zjY) deal or cope with Passive Aggressiveness?






What do you think? Am I an annoying vegan, or is my argument actually fairly sound once you give it some thought?
More than annoying, very passive agressive.

Sarcasm at its best :)

Almost ... e v e r t h i n g ... can be interpreted/perceived as a "micro aggression" the moment you get annoyed about anything and let it be known to snowflakes lol :P

I'm with TomKat, it was passive aggressive, and so is your statement ExomatirixTV


My Unfiltered Perspectives ... Trigger Alert! :mod::

I assume that most HSP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPR1P_D8zjY) (Highly Sensitive Persons) cope/deal/handle "passive aggressiveness" differently than I do ...


How you let it "impact" you or not depends heavily how you LET it "impact" you ... it takes two to tango.

Am immune to (insecure) people who use tactical manipulative mind games what some call "passive aggressiveness" ... There are many ways to deal with that kind of "subtle" behavior (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcHnVoqKWM) ... I use the simple practical wisdom/insight that if someone does not know how to be frank & brutally honest and depends heavily on "indirect messages" I will not "play along" nor participate in "how to interpreted" subtle hints whatsoever ... Then I will often be accused of being "rude" but to me that is a given (them kicking an open door) ... because I really do not play those mind games I have much more energy/stamina left to focus more what is really important in life :)

Not being a victim of ANY "passive aggressiveness" tactics means it does not affect me one way or the other ... thus from my perspective it does not even register as "aggressive" >>> much more like watching some one being totally incompetent to be more outspoken & frank ... which is sad.


Only thing I do notice that those who use "passive aggressiveness" tactics will feel annoyed & frustrated when dealing with me https://projectavalon.net/forum4/images/smilies/wink_animated.gif and I really don't care about that. If I did, they "have me" to manipulate me in a certain direction.

https://i2.wp.com/psych2go.net//wp-content/uploads/2017/10/137926-138218.jpg?resize=268%2C188&ssl=1 (https://psych2go.net/signs-of-passive-aggressiveness/)

When that person finally decide to be 100% direct, unapologetic and completely honest towards me (which may be foreign to them to do) ... The next phase of the mind game may arise: using way too many exaggerations in their assumptions ... interpreting things differently because they are already so triggered causing to lose sight on what is really going on ...

This can happen to me too, I too can lose sight (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118223-Welcome-you-to-join-Lifechanyuan--My-Personal-Invitation-Email-&p=1494735#post1494735) of how things really are >>> but only if I am some how "triggered" ... so am fully aware of these psychological mechanisms.


Sometimes the assumption of something being "Passive Aggressiveness" is the trigger to cause it be exactly that ... There are plenty examples that oversensitive or insecure people project their own incompetence on others to feel better. Playing the victim-card is seen as "the solution" to deal with it ... because it give than a certain status.

The best way to deal with all the above is being hilarious about it and laugh about yourself ... see videos below what I mean by that.

Question: If you do not know how to live in self-honesty and not being completely honest towards yourself you most likely end up attracting someone doing exactly the same! ... Thus you become mirrors in that type of relationship.

If you are brutally honest towards yourself and allow it be known is often assumed that "nobody likes you" ... Indeed less people find you "okay" to be with ... the few that do are often blunt themselves as they dig why you are like that ... and love you for it.


In what relationship-scenario do you think you learn the most about yourself?

https://images.chesscomfiles.com/uploads/v1/user/27474914.f5b631e7.160x160o.f6c78faaf102.png

cheers,
John Kuhles (https://whynotnews.eu) aka 'ExomatrixTV'
April 22th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳

Look at you starting a thread. You ARE triggered lol

[ExomatrixTV]

Look at you starting a thread. You ARE triggered lol

I know ... and if you had red my whole post more carefully you would have known I already mentioned/admitted that ... that I too can lose sight what is really going on after being triggered!

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Matthew]

Lol ok you got me, seeing you open a thread with my quote triggered me

[ExomatrixTV]

Lol ok you got me, seeing you open a thread with my quote triggered me
:pound:

https://c.tenor.com/ea1R-teipsMAAAAd/trigger-triggered.gif

¤=[Post Update]=¤



Assertiveness - What are Passive, Aggressive & Assertive Behavior?

KmrokQdsjTA
Assertiveness at work is important, but do you know what passive, aggressive, assertive all mean? What are the behaviors that are characteristic of each of them, what do they signify, and why should you aim for assertive behavior? Let's look at Passive, Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, and Assertive behavior, because understanding them all is an essential business and professional skill.

[Catechism]

"Catechism joining date Project Avalon Forum: "April 1st, 2022" <<< that "explains" everything "
Oi ! I resemble that remark

[ExomatrixTV]

Sometimes making the wrong interpretation (having false assumptions) that triggered an (over the top) emotional responses, is treated as if it is deemed "more important" (by the triggered person) than what actually happened or what really is going on ...



Could that be one of the Narcissistic (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder) (self-obsessed) traits/characteristics being overlooked? ;)

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[snoman]

I do not like the word Vegan.. it is alien-like.. sounds off. who coined it?

[ExomatrixTV]

For me passive aggression done by anyone was never ever an issue for me, due to the fact I always go (if possible) directly to the core of the issue and ask prudent, super direct/blunt questions (not assuming "I know it all") and if it is not answered honestly, people only expose themselves ... at the same time they feel often "not understood" not realizing what role they themselves play in WHY people do not follow you or not understand you.


The moment someone genuinely WANTS to understand you and describe a list of possibilities what actually is going what actually happened ... they may make you feel "naked" (figuratively) ... feeling exposed that you were not able to be more clear & honest about your grievances.

Being not understood because people do not care or have judgemental assumptions or are just plain dumb ... can, if it happens a lot, be very traumatic ...

Being not understood because you were not completely honest is a whole different ball game and both situations is problematic ... if you become a victim of anything that you think is unjust but never expressed/shared that problem >>> people will not understand why you behave weird if you decide not to explain yourself well.

If you assume falsely that you have become a "victim" what turns out to be a misinterpretation/false conclusion made by yourself ... your hurt, feelings & emotions "not understood" was based upon you misunderstanding ... << That feeling CAN become a symbol of dozens of past experiences in your life that may be very similar that were real ... Meaning: your anger & rage deep inside may be based on real unjust traumatic experiences of the past mixed with new things happening in life that are actually based upon having false assumptions.

When your unresolved (traumatic) pains of the past gets mixed with current miscommunications you will notice you are most likely not be able to stay calm nor reasonable. And anyone challenging that only fuels your rage!


disclaimer: when I say "you" I do not mean anyone in this Forum .. but more in general that it CAN happen to everybody (including me!).

So how can we solve this dilemma/issue if it occurs?

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Matthew]

The benefit of triggering people:

- When people are enraged they can't think straight
- When people are enraged they make their own bad case against themselves for all to see

Doing this passive aggressively means you don't flair up as being unreasonable or an arse yourself, if you keep your composure and they lose theirs.

Passive aggressive triggering is THE trolling technique. It couples well with Socratic Method Trolling, which is either well-aimed, insincere Socratic questions, or a lot of sincere Socratic questions because they're annoying.

[ExomatrixTV]

I do not like the word Vegan.. it is alien-like.. sounds off. who coined it?

Could it be you do not like how certain people behave when they use the word ... if that is the case, if it is the core issue, do you really think by changing the name/label it would really "change things"? ... or just postpone the inevitable that it never was about the name itself but much more about how it is used by many who are annoyed by that topic.



Knowing that many people "do not like certain things" and use all kinds of rhetoric to make it known to all, manifests in almost in all controversial topics/issues.


Desperate need to (only) be surrounded by people who genuinely appreciate you is in my view, a common theme with Highly Sensitive People (HSP (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPR1P_D8zjY)) ... seeking ways to mask reality ... it is really impossible task to make everybody to "like you" ... if you think you failed in that ... some can get anxiety attacks (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder).

If you do not need to be "liked", chances are that you have less fear less anxiety issues less worries less over-analyzing etc. etc. ... <<< all of that making you more relaxed about yourself what more people love to see in another.


disclaimer: when I say "you" I do not mean anyone in this Forum .. but more in general that it can happen to everybody (including me!).

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Catechism]

The benefit of triggering people:

- When people are enraged they can't think straight
- When people are enraged they make their own bad case against themselves for all to see

Doing this passive aggressively means you don't flair up as being unreasonable or an arse yourself, if you keep your composure and they lose theirs.

Passive aggressive triggering is THE trolling technique. It couples well with Socratic Method Trolling, which is either well-aimed, insincere Socratic questions, or a lot of sincere Socratic questions because they're annoying.

The Larrikin in Australia was reviled and admired in equal quantity , being serious has its moment but to laugh is eternal

[ExomatrixTV]

I see myself as an amateur "Truther Counselor" using Spiritual Psychology not claiming I am an "authority" (on anything) nor am I an "expert" ...


just sharing my perspectives that some may find useful/helpful & appreciate new insights.
but it can also have a opposite effect with certain individuals who assume it is way too much waffling ...
so it is certainly not for everybody and I respect that.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Matthew]

The benefit of triggering people:

- When people are enraged they can't think straight
- When people are enraged they make their own bad case against themselves for all to see

Doing this passive aggressively means you don't flair up as being unreasonable or an arse yourself, if you keep your composure and they lose theirs.

Passive aggressive triggering is THE trolling technique. It couples well with Socratic Method Trolling, which is either well-aimed, insincere Socratic questions, or a lot of sincere Socratic questions because they're annoying.

The Larrikin in Australia was reviled and admired in equal quantity , being serious has its moment but to laugh is eternal

I've noticed it's a tradition of the genuine working classes of England to teach each other through constant wind-ups; I can see how that works. People who are like, 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 are asking for trouble, and the wind-up merchants run rings around.. well, everyone. But like the Australian Larrikin the English wind-up merchant acts in good faith. Reminds me of the concept of Heyoka, and I've often thought of the two sides of mischievousness as Loki vs 'spirit of heyoka'. Spirit of heyoka sounds glorious but really its a bunch of annoying wind-up merchants

[ExomatrixTV]

The benefit of triggering people:

- When people are enraged they can't think straight
- When people are enraged they make their own bad case against themselves for all to see

Doing this passive aggressively means you don't flair up as being unreasonable or an arse yourself, if you keep your composure and they lose theirs.

Passive aggressive triggering is THE trolling technique. It couples well with Socratic Method Trolling, which is either well-aimed, insincere Socratic questions, or a lot of sincere Socratic questions because they're annoying.

The Larrikin in Australia was reviled and admired in equal quantity , being serious has its moment but to laugh is eternal

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Political Correctness And The Death Of Australian Culture:

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Sky News Australia presents The Death of the Aussie Larrikin, a special report exploring whether or not political correctness has caused the demise of the larrikin spirit in Australian life and culture. Providing humour as well as insights and commentary, the one-hour television event takes a nostalgic look back at the ‘Aussie larrikin’ of the 70s and 80s, then tracks the changing tastes and standards of more recent years. It explores if the spirit of the larrikin has been crushed by political correctness, the growth of social media, and the ‘cancel culture’ which in recent years has seen online outrage shut down comedy and TV shows. As well as exploring whether the politics of language and culture has caused the disappearance of the larrikins of the 70s and 80s, it asks if there was a dark, divisive side to the larrikin ethos. The program features interviews with legendary television presenter and co-host of Studio 10 on Network Ten Kerri-Anne Kennerley, comedians Paul Fenech, Vince Sorrenti and Emma Malik, entertainer, actress Delvene Delaney, ABC Radio presenter James Valentine and cartoonists Johannes Leak and Warren Brown. 'The Death of the Aussie Larrikin' was originally broadcast on Sky News Australia in 2020.

[The Moss Trooper]

I do not like the word Vegan.. it is alien-like.. sounds off. who coined it?


Probably some Vegan.

[Catechism]

The benefit of triggering people:

- When people are enraged they can't think straight
- When people are enraged they make their own bad case against themselves for all to see

Doing this passive aggressively means you don't flair up as being unreasonable or an arse yourself, if you keep your composure and they lose theirs.

Passive aggressive triggering is THE trolling technique. It couples well with Socratic Method Trolling, which is either well-aimed, insincere Socratic questions, or a lot of sincere Socratic questions because they're annoying.

The Larrikin in Australia was reviled and admired in equal quantity , being serious has its moment but to laugh is eternal

I've noticed it's a tradition of the genuine working classes of England to teach each other through constant wind-ups; I can see how that works. People who are like, 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 are asking for trouble, and the wind-up merchants run rings around.. well, everyone. But like the Australian Larrikin the English wind-up merchant acts in good faith. Reminds me of the concept of Heyoka, and I've often thought of the two sides of mischievousness as Loki vs 'spirit of heyoka'. Spirit of heyoka sounds glorious but really its a bunch of annoying wind-up merchants

You only take the piss out of the people you love, any one else it's called invective

[ExomatrixTV]

Has passive aggressiveness ever been rewarded (being successful) to those who are using these mind-games? ...

If I would use anything near it it would be more like using sarcasm (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm) and being hilarious not to manipulate the other but to laugh at the whole situation (including at myself) ;)


It has some similar tendencies but overall it is meant to have a good laugh which is the opposite what triggered people would do. They are way too serious!

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Catechism]

Has passive aggressiveness ever been rewarded (being successful) to those who are using these mind-games? ...

If I would use anything near it it would be more like using sarcasm (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm) and being hilarious not to manipulate the other but laugh at the whole situation (including at myself) ;)


It has some similar tendencies but overall it is meant to have a good laugh which is the opposite what triggered people would do. They are way too serious!

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hanulj5heg

[Catechism]

Would you care to elaborate my "Friend" ."To me he was obvious being hilarious ... most know that it is stereo-typing ... and those who assumes it is "fact" is not (y)our responsibility to worry about them "...
Catechism joining date Project Avalon Forum: "April 1st, 2022" <<< that "explains" everything
He will be our practical joker to stir someone up by default". Who is them and (y)our and someone , who are you and why worry ? Don't mug me off please with your hyperbole

[ExomatrixTV]

Would you care to elaborate my "Friend" ."To me he was obvious being hilarious ... most know that it is stereo-typing ... and those who assumes it is "fact" is not (y)our responsibility to worry about them "...
Catechism joining date Project Avalon Forum: "April 1st, 2022" <<< that "explains" everything
He will be our practical joker to stir someone up by default". Who is them and (y)our and who are you ? Don't mug me off please with your hyperbole

just a funny coincidence "April 1st" and I used the word: "explains" in quotes and added a wink smiley ;) for a reason ... so why do you assume I take it all literary? even if I was (but I wasn't) you are never to be defined being just a joker (nobody is) unless you are so sensitive that it has so much "power" over you ... which it certainly hasn't >>> everybody is so much more than any label we may use on each-other ...


My comment was pure lighthearted nothing more, as you were making fun of vegans!

[Catechism]

Title was about triggering , apologies

[ExomatrixTV]

ok but why april the 1st and not to worry about them and being a practical joker , can I take away your shovel ?

do you really do not get it? you still take everything so serious .... really? why???

... you never heard about "April 1st (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools%27_Day)" ??? where people using all kinds of pranks & jokes and you happen to be a new member on that day ... I find that a funny coincidence ... because you were making fun of vegans!


My comment was pure lighthearted nothing more, as you were making fun of vegans!

[Catechism]

i'm a fool. still love you

[ExomatrixTV]

i'm a fool. still love you


you know you are not a fool so why say it ... there is a big difference between what you really are and what sometimes can happen in life ... as everybody can have a moment of confusion << no big deal!

[Catechism]

"you know you are not fool so why say it " , you alluded to it

[Catechism]

who is them ?

[Mike Gorman]

The day the Vegans landed was just an ordinary day, people were bustling around the town, buying their meat for the coming weekend, joints of lamb, beef, veal steaks, bacon and sausages for the inevitable fry-up breakfasts, right about 2:30pm we all saw the giant craft hovering over the suburbs, exuding a smell of digested cabbage, and sprout farts, life changed at that time and we have all been striving to adjust to the tofu and watercress sandwiches ever since...

[ExomatrixTV]

The day the Vegans landed was just an ordinary day, people were bustling around the town, buying their meat for the coming weekend, joints of lamb, beef, veal steaks, bacon and sausages for the inevitable fry-up breakfasts, right about 2:30pm we all saw the giant craft hovering over the suburbs, exuding a smell of digested cabbage, and sprout farts, life changed at that time and we have all been striving to adjust to the tofu and watercress sandwiches ever since...


that's deep

[ExomatrixTV]

Tucker: This Is The Road To Chaos And Collapse:

sFR32oNfrDc

[Matthew]

This lady knows where her towel is... what a legend! :bigsmile:

How passive aggressive triggering works - but without sarcasm

https://i.postimg.cc/1tkP2m56/image.png

[DeDukshyn]

I deal with passive aggressiveness by having trained myself to completely emotionally ignore it, even to the point of not being able to see it. If someone has something to say to me, they can say it directly and proudly. Else its not worth my time to even pay attention to it.

I actually tell people that often when I meet them "... If you have something to say, don't be a coward - say it to my face and join me in an adult discussion on whatever is bothering you."

[Apulu]

This brings up a really interesting debate for me. You could pretty much call this post Confessions of a Former Passive Aggressive.

Yep. I've kind of come from that camp. In terms of displays of aggression (perhaps leaving violent aggression asside) there are pretty much only two camps here, huh? There's Tyrannical behaviour, and there's Passive Aggressive behaviour. Or, actually, Passive Tyranny. Thanks Jordan Peterson for that particular categorisation: wish I could find the video that was from...

It took me a long time, in my early twenties, to figure out that both camps were and are equal in their ability to destroy what most of us all want in life. Talking in generalities, of course. You could argue easily, I'm sure, that ultimately tyrannical behaviour is the more destructive, but, we're not talking about ultimate destruction, we're just talking about your average day to day hostilities.

Both camps operate, as far as I can see, on fear. Same thing, differently expressed. Tyranny, and passive tyranny surely, comes from the misguided idea that if a situation is not controlled, bad stuff will happen. That's very often true, and so... I guess... to what extent does the situation need to be controlled?

The whole problem seems to boil down, for any given moment, to having enough awareness (which is HARD to develop), taking complete responsibility for one's emotional responses (HARD to develop), and having the courage to act on what's really true for us (HAAARD).

Whilst this debate is centred around passive tyranny, I'd like to suggest something. Being someone who admits to coming from the passive camp: I would say, do not underestimate the shaking-level fear and dread involved, for some people, in simply speaking up about pretty much ANYTHING, let alone going head first into confrontation.

It's taken me literally decades of confronting that fear to arrive in a place where I feel pretty able to say and do what's right for me in most areas of my life. It was EXTREMELY hard.

Am I saying that's an excuse for being passively aggressive? Absolutely not, no.

It was necessary for me to confront the fear, so, I did. I made a commitment to do that, and completely own my emotional responses. Lucky me. I'm very aware of how difficult that's been. I'm not done yet.

It's necessary to confront aggression sometimes. Sometimes often. To do so without getting caught in the conflict is very tricky, but it's doable. For both 'camps'.

[Johnnycomelately]

This brings up a really interesting debate for me. You could pretty much call this post Confessions of a Former Passive Aggressive.

Yep. I've kind of come from that camp. In terms of displays of aggression (perhaps leaving violent aggression asside) there are pretty much only two camps here, huh? There's Tyrannical behaviour, and there's Passive Aggressive behaviour. Or, actually, Passive Tyranny. Thanks Jordan Peterson for that particular categorisation: wish I could find the video that was from...

It took me a long time, in my early twenties, to figure out that both camps were and are equal in their ability to destroy what most of us all want in life. Talking in generalities, of course. You could argue easily, I'm sure, that ultimately tyrannical behaviour is the more destructive, but, we're not talking about ultimate destruction, we're just talking about your average day to day hostilities.

Both camps operate, as far as I can see, on fear. Same thing, differently expressed. Tyranny, and passive tyranny surely, comes from the misguided idea that if a situation is not controlled, bad stuff will happen. That's very often true, and so... I guess... to what extent does the situation need to be controlled?

The whole problem seems to boil down, for any given moment, to having enough awareness (which is HARD to develop), taking complete responsibility for one's emotional responses (HARD to develop), and having the courage to act on what's really true for us (HAAARD).

Whilst this debate is centred around passive tyranny, I'd like to suggest something. Being someone who admits to coming from the passive camp: I would say, do not underestimate the shaking-level fear and dread involved, for some people, in simply speaking up about pretty much ANYTHING, let alone going head first into confrontation.

It's taken me literally decades of confronting that fear to arrive in a place where I feel pretty able to say and do what's right for me in most areas of my life. It was EXTREMELY hard.

Am I saying that's an excuse for being passively aggressive? Absolutely not, no.

It was necessary for me to confront the fear, so, I did. I made a commitment to do that, and completely own my emotional responses. Lucky me. I'm very aware of how difficult that's been. I'm not done yet.

It's necessary to confront aggression sometimes. Sometimes often. To do so without getting caught in the conflict is very tricky, but it's doable. For both 'camps'.

Apulu, take heart. There is nothing chicken about feeling that you don’t want to hit/strike an aggressor. In my understanding, backed by experience, this is part of changing from an aggressor to one who gets along. Wanting to get along is not enough, you have to earn it back.

[ian33]

my sensitivity level goes up and down, just as the level of aggression online does.
..i have ways of determining when on both counts, using both sides of my brain..when the forecast is for extreme weather and not in mood for such, i stay home
..short answer, i dont have to

[Apulu]

There is nothing chicken about feeling that you don’t want to hit/strike an aggressor.

Thanks - I don't see it as chicken either. There do seem to be folk who believe you have to come back at someone full force. Seems like a collosal waste of energy most of the time 🙂