Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

[Mashika]

Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

Somehow, this is identified as being a very spiritual person, or wise or something along those lines

But it is not, it's unnatural and bizarre, it's like 'a spiritual servant' to other people's energies. Someone who doesn't even try to change the order of some things is not a good person really, it opens some bad doors for behavior of others, if you think about it

Also this, if you are 100% of the time a very nice person, and never, ever get angry because of other people's actions, it just means that you are not growing at all, you have a 'wall of nice' around you, and as soon as you lose control over it you'll probably get a mental breakdown and end up in loony town

It makes a person vey bizarre, truly, because it should be normal that other people's actions make you angry or bothered, and you should be able to express it and then the other person, ideally, should be able to reason this and change something in them to avoid causing that bad effect on other people, or somehow talk about the issue, if this is avoided, then it's all fake, isn't it?

When i see people who always smile, even if something very bad happens, i don't think they are optimistic, i think they are a boiler about to explode, holding so much pressure that it becomes bizarre to watch, and the smile is like a human mask facade of some sort, it's not real, it's the opposite of truly being happy and of truly living life to the max

If you don't get upset or bothered by some things, then how do you truly enjoy peaceful moments, if you can't feel the intensity of life anymore? Sometimes going to the river and swimming means it may rain and then you did not get to swim the way you wanted, and it's ok to feel disappointed or bothered by it. It's how nature works, or maybe you twist your ankle in the rocks one second away from entering the water and then there's no swimming anymore, and that's how life works, and if you want to throw rocks at the water to get rid of the frustration so do it!

Not everything is a signal o or lesson from life, and not everything has a special meaning/purpose from the creator, and being 100% perfect spiritual and loving all the time is fake, that's not wisdom or anything but craziness waiting to happen

A twisted ankle hurts like hell, and there's no lesson there, it twisted because the person stepped on a rock and wasn't firm enough and now they day at the river is ruined, cry or yell and feel frustrated and then slowly walk home and take care of the pain somehow, and don't go smiling pretending that 'it's fine, other people must be suffering more' because it's not, it hurts like hell and what other people may be going through has nothing to do with your ruined day and current pain

Or you can end up like this lol
_1vTGN52MCc

/rant

[O Donna]

Or you can end up like this lol
_1vTGN52MCc

/rant

(Nedward Flanders, Jr. grew up in New York , currently lives at 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield)

End up like what? Two dimensional? :ninja:

https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/56928921/its-just-nonsense.jpg

:shielddeflect::ROFL:

[Jim_Duyer]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

[Mashika]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

But then, you still allow the other person to steal, and nothing much changed, you are not getting frustrated but this allows the other person to continue harming your neighbor without any consequences

This is what i meant by


it opens some bad doors for behavior of others


But yeah i understand "sometimes it's just not worth it to fight it", however if done too much then everything becomes plain and bland, and then there's no change happening, life gets stalled in several ways. It's like the bystander effect thing somehow

OSsPfbup0ac

[thepainterdoug]

My kind of post Mashi , you got it. To avoid living duality is to be in denial of our 3d physical experiential life, we volunteered to come and take part in.
the other side, the place of the spirit is where the constant smily belongs. not here.
Get angy and get over it. It doesnt mean the hate is eternal, its temporary.
Feel the hot and the cold, the fat and the thin, be your etnicity , your color, your sex. Be real, and experience it all.

blessings
doug

[Bill Ryan]

Thanks for this, and it's an important and fascinating issue to discuss. I'd love to hear everyone else's views and experiences.

Here's a starting point. Many will have seen this before, but it's worth repeating. And it's true.

https://www.askideas.com/media/37/Anybody-can-become-angry-that-is-easy-but-to-be-angry-with-the-right-person-and-to-the-right-degree-and-at-the-right-time-and-for-the-right-purpose-and-in-the-right-way..........jpg

What this means, I think, is that anger needs to be


Directed at the right target.
Proportional to the "offense".

And something that Aristotle didn't say is that this is all a subset (an aspect) of being honest.

That's the larger issue. Making nice with someone who you feel furious with for a well-justified reason isn't honest. Not with the other person, and not with yourself.

And there are ways of expressing anger that are more responsible than others.

Screaming at someone that they're a ******* jerk and punching them on the nose (or worse!) might not be as effective as sitting them down and telling them very strongly and directly that you're extremely angry with them, and explaining exactly why.

My own personal experience is slightly qualified, a little unusual inasmuch as I'm a minor public figure. And there are people to this day, some who've I've never met or ever interacted with, who post stuff on social media about me that's hateful, snide, inaccurate, vindictive and immature.

When I first encountered this, I was bewildered and hurt. It was like this Larson cartoon: :)

https://projectavalon.net/Larsen_deer.gif

Then I developed an increasingly thick skin. One develops that after this has happened over and over again. I still get hurt sometimes, but only very rarely, only when someone who I really thought was a true friend had suddenly (in my opinion) betrayed me. The last time that happened was 3 years ago.

So I've learned not to "be nice", but to ignore the critics and trolls. My energy and time is finite — as anyone's is — and so it's like a strategic management exercise to focus my time, energy and attention on things that seem to be useful, and not to get into firefights with people just because I feel like letting off steam.

And besides, as a mod here I get to use the one-click "ban" button, which is the internet equivalent of a firing squad. Simply ending someone's virtual existence.

So with "Gracy May", for instance, and also Frank (Aragorn), whose actions really did anger and disgust me, I simply banned them both and apologized sincerely to the Avalon community for not figuring it all out much earlier.

But after that, I never said or wrote a thing to them. They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.

~~~

I get angry about other things as well. The big-picture issue that angers me the most is the wilful, selfish destruction of the planet and its biosphere. I feel that more than anything else. Here's a tiny story, which happened a couple months ago.

I was on a mountain hike in a very beautiful place, but one which was not that far from a local tourist spot. So I knew that people besides myself sometimes went up there, but not that often and usually just on public holidays — which I carefully avoid.

As always, I was totally loving being there with my dog and all the tiny, subtle, delicate living things all around me. Then I came across this big pile of trash.

Someone had just dumped it there after a picnic. It wasn't heavy, just a big bunch of plastic bags, uneaten junk food and empty containers. They could so very easily have taken it back with them.

I can't properly express how overwhelmed with rage I was. It was so strong, it actually surprised me.

It was a tiny thing. But for me it epitomized (served as a perfect example of) the way humans now are so utterly disconnected with anything that resembles what used, long ago, to be an unquestioned traditional value of taking guardian care of the whole oh-so-valuable, beautiful world around us.

It was dumb ignorance. And (for me) it said EVERYTHING about our terminally sick consumer society.

I collected the trash, every tiny bit of it, and carried it back with me. The hike to the road was maybe 45 minutes.

In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.


All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.

[Bluegreen]

Being nice is so easy

:kiss3:

[thepainterdoug]

Bill, great idea and quote from Aristotle. will participate.

Bluegreen
yes, to people who are nice.

[Mashika]

Thanks for this, and it's an important and fascinating issue to discuss. I'd love to hear everyone else's views and experiences.

Here's a starting point. Many will have seen this before, but it's worth repeating. And it's true.

https://www.askideas.com/media/37/Anybody-can-become-angry-that-is-easy-but-to-be-angry-with-the-right-person-and-to-the-right-degree-and-at-the-right-time-and-for-the-right-purpose-and-in-the-right-way..........jpg

What this means, I think, is that anger needs to be


Directed at the right target.
Proportional to the "offense".

And something that Aristotle didn't say is that this is all a subset (an aspect) of being honest.

That's the larger issue. Making nice with someone who you feel furious with for a well-justified reason isn't honest. Not with the other person, and not with yourself.

And there are ways of expressing anger that are more responsible than others.

Screaming at someone that they're a ******* jerk and punching them on the nose (or worse!) might not be as effective as sitting them down and telling them very strongly and directly that you're extremely angry with them, and explaining exactly why.

My own personal experience is slightly qualified, a little unusual inasmuch as I'm a minor public figure. And there are people to this day, some who've I've never met or ever interacted with, who post stuff on social media about me that's hateful, snide, inaccurate, vindictive and immature.

When I first encountered this, I was bewildered and hurt. It was like this Larson cartoon: :)

https://projectavalon.net/Larsen_deer.gif

Then I developed an increasingly thick skin. One develops that after this has happened over and over again. I still get hurt sometimes, but only very rarely, only when someone who I really thought was a true friend had suddenly (in my opinion) betrayed me. The last time that happened was 3 years ago.

So I've learned not to "be nice", but to ignore the critics and trolls. My energy and time is finite — as anyone's is — and so it's like a strategic management exercise to focus my time, energy and attention on things that seem to be useful, and not to get into firefights with people just because I feel like letting off steam.

And besides, as a mod here I get to use the one-click "ban" button, which is the internet equivalent of a firing squad. Simply ending someone's virtual existence.

So with "Gracy May", for instance, and also Frank (Aragorn), whose actions really did anger and disgust me, I simply banned them both and apologized sincerely to the Avalon community for not figuring it all out much earlier.

But after that, I never said or wrote a thing to them. They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.

~~~

I get angry about other things as well. The big-picture issue that angers me the most is the wilful, selfish destruction of the planet and its biosphere. I feel that more than anything else. Here's a tiny story, which happened a couple months ago.

I was on a mountain hike in a very beautiful place, but one which was not that far from a local tourist spot. So I knew that people besides myself sometimes went up there, but not that often and usually just on public holidays — which I carefully avoid.

As always, I was totally loving being there with my dog and all the tiny, subtle, delicate living things all around me. Then I came across this big pile of trash.

Someone had just dumped it there after a picnic. It wasn't heavy, just a big bunch of plastic bags, uneaten junk food and empty containers. They could so very easily have taken it back with them.

I can't properly express how overwhelmed with rage I was. It was so strong, it actually surprised me.

It was a tiny thing. But for me it epitomized (served as a perfect example of) the way humans now are so utterly disconnected with anything that resembles what used, long ago, to be an unquestioned traditional value of taking guardian care of the whole oh-so-valuable, beautiful world around us.

It was dumb ignorance. And (for me) it said EVERYTHING about our terminally sick consumer society.

I collected the trash, every tiny bit of it, and carried it back with me. The hike to the road was maybe 45 minutes.

In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.


All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.

It reminds me of something a friend did lots of years ago, he was drinking with some friends at a small place outside a gas station. Then some random unknown person came by their table and said "do you want to buy a steam iron machine?" And they asked "What for?", the then said "it's for a drink or two, i'll sell it cheap", but they wondered if it was stolen and asked, the guy said "no no, not stolen, i just took it from my wife!" then my friend asked, so wait, you took this from your own home to sell so you can buy drinks? and the guy said, "yes!", then another guy in the group asked, so what happens tomorrow or next days, when you don't have an ironing machine at home, and the drunk guy said "I'll just beat her up for not ironing my shirts lol!"

At that point they said, ok guy, get the f out of here! But then one guy said, you want beer? I'll give you beer, and he offered a can of beer, then every time the drunktard was trying to sip from the can, my friend would hit him in the face, then tell him "want more beer? drink up!" and the drunktard would try again, then get hit in the face one more time, this happened until the cops came by to see what was going on, then once told the ironing machine issue, they left without helping the guy and doing nothing with my friend and his group, who kept beating the guy until there was no beer left :)

That's how it is, sometimes, 'proportionate' :) I suppose everything, even the bigger pleasures in life, can lead to hell

[Mashika]

Being nice is so easy

:kiss3:

There are two parts to it :)

You can be nice, because all your experiences in life caused you to become nice and understand people better

Or you can 'act' nice, because you think by doing that you will eventually become nice 'fake it till you make it', but that's not how it works at all. It's trap

Being nice sometimes is not easy, acting nice can most times be easy. You don't have to feel it, just go through the motions

A lot of rich people 'act' nice, but they are terrible persons behind closed doors, (some movie stars, politicians, some religious people) for example

But if you interact with them in public, they sure are nice

[Mashika]

In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.


All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.

I can imagine meeting the people who left the trash out there and hitting their butts/wacking them in the head with the trash bag, then asking them to put it all back into the bag, only to hit them once again and make another mess, then asking them once more, very politely, to pick it all up and put it into the bag

There's a side crazy thing to all of it, the realisation in them that they can't escape you and must pick it up once more, already knowing what will happen next

Ha ha ha oh no.... lmao

[DeDukshyn]

IMHO, being spiritual certainly has nothing to do with being "nice". Its about being true and holding the utmost respect to yourself, your environment, your loved ones, and those around you.

Usually (most often) the result of that is expressed and perceived as "nice", but sometimes, being what people might perceive as "mean" or "insensitive" is nothing more than holding true to yourself and the highest values you can express.

Its not really more complex than that. Being true to oneself also comes with the understanding that you are not responsible for others perceptions, but also that you should try to recognize and work with those perceptions, not against them.

[Mashika]

My kind of post Mashi , you got it. To avoid living duality is to be in denial of our 3d physical experiential life, we volunteered to come and take part in.
the other side, the place of the spirit is where the constant smily belongs. not here.
Get angy and get over it. It doesnt mean the hate is eternal, its temporary.
Feel the hot and the cold, the fat and the thin, be your etnicity , your color, your sex. Be real, and experience it all.

blessings
doug

Exactly! I think of it that way "hit me with all you have, life!", then you get back and keep going strong

Interacting with life should be like walking on the rain and not be afraid or covering yourself from the rain drops, but instead feeling them in your face and walk through them, enjoying every second of it

¤=[Post Update]=¤

And sometimes, the nicest thing you can do for other people, is to sit them down and tell them, even yelling (if necessary) what they did was wrong and explain how and why this is not how it should be

[lunaflare]

Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

I do not believe we can possibly know how other people think, feel, and act 100% of the time.
This life experience is tough and no one passes through unscathed.
As mentioned, we all process things differently.
Everyone's lived experience and zodiac wheel is unique.

I am learning that it is not possible to fully comprehend the journey of another.
What is unconscionable to one person may be ok for another

There have been times, in the past, I have left rubbish as it was incovenient for me to carry .
There have been times that I have been disproportionately angry and, as a result, carried guilt.
I pause more these days. I allow others to find their own Way.
I no longer wish to harm myself nor another.
What is the right way to behave? I only know for myself.
I desire to be a better human; a better version of myself.
The body-heart has its own compass regarding what feels right or wrong.
Perhaps "playing nice" is a stepping stone to some other alchemical process, that---eventually-- leads to kindness.

Kindness seems to be the glimmering golden philosopher's stone; the holy grail.

[Rosemarie]

Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL :heart:

[O Donna]

It is also a futile ground for the likes of psychopaths' and sociopaths.
All they have to do is mimic the behaviorism and wear the spiritual regatta and guards are let down when in reality further vetting should have taken place.


The sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church is the result of what police call "noble cause corruption," the belief that because you are dedicated to doing good, you can do no wrong.

Alex Gibney

[Mashika]

Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

I do not believe we can possibly know how other people think, feel, and act 100% of the time.
This life experience is tough and no one passes through unscathed.
As mentioned, we all process things differently.
Everyone's lived experience and zodiac wheel is unique.

I am learning that it is not possible to fully comprehend the journey of another.
What is unconscionable to one person may be ok for another

There have been times, in the past, I have left rubbish as it was incovenient for me to carry .
There have been times that I have been disproportionately angry and, as a result, carried guilt.
I pause more these days. I allow others to find their own Way.
I no longer wish to harm myself nor another.
What is the right way to behave? I only know for myself.
I desire to be a better human; a better version of myself.
The body-heart has its own compass regarding what feels right or wrong.
Perhaps "playing nice" is a stepping stone to some other alchemical process, that---eventually-- leads to kindness.

Kindness seems to be the glimmering golden philosopher's stone; the holy grail.

Kindness and acting nice because that's how 'you must behave' are not the same

Let me rephrase this



Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions


to this

"Every time some people interacts with other people, and or animals, or nature, they act as if they are so 100% perfectly balanced that nothing, absolutely nothing can causes them to stop being perfectly aligned and happy. Nothing bothers them, nothing breaks them, nothing makes them upset, but only to the outside world"

That's not true happiness, or being honest, or mindful, or 'high frequency', it's actually the opposite of it, it's blocking the true life experience and pretending just because 'it is expected' and even if you don't feel it, you act it because "fake it till you make it"

That's not how it works, that's soul destructive, it drains your energy and turns you into a sad person inside, even if you always have a smile for other people, or encouraging words

Instead, let's accept life as it comes, with ups and downs, and if you don't feel like smiling then just don't, and if something bothers you, then say so, and if you get hit by a car, then be upset about it, and if a dog pees in your leg, then don't pretend you are not bothered by it, don't hit the dog, but do say something about it, even if to yourself while still accepting the dog did nothing wrong from his pov

Be real, be honest, be strong and be caring, but don't pretend life is a rainbow road full of nice things and that nothing is ever wrong, that's a trap into darkness and you won't experience life to the fullest ever. You'll just squander your life and time on this reality by always looking away and running away from pain or anything that is not made out of silk and pleasant

/rant

¤=[Post Update]=¤


Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL :heart:

Not everything is a fight, and not every time you have to run inside when it starts to rain as well, sometimes you have to jump into the rain, instead of running away from it. But you need to do it more than once, so you get to be truly alive

[O Donna]

Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL :heart:

Principles of martial arts. A good martial artist will not only be skilled in combat, but also in staying calm and rational.

Then the devil led Jesus to the holy city of Jerusalem and put him on a high place at the edge of the Temple area. He said to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, jump off, because the Scriptures say, ‘God will command his angels to help you, and their hands will catch you, so that you will not hit your foot on a rock.’” Jesus answered, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God. - Matthew 4:5-11


“Just because you can doesn't mean you should.”

― Sherrilyn Kenyon

Never forget the first time a 'mom' said these words, "Chose your battles, wisely" when I ask why she was letting her kids get away with something.

(have not fully learned that with all things, work in progress)

[justntime2learn]

Being nice is so easy

:kiss3:

So much easier than the alternative :heart:

[O Donna]

Not to be nice or anything but....

You know what's beautiful? That we can come together and discus varied views. Diversity, stunning.

[O Donna]

Everyone is spiritual, not always obvious
Not profess, profess too much or bleed from every pore?

[Harmony]

Life has provided us all with lessons for sure. How we react to them and what we learn from them will be an individual thing. I have a feeling most on PA have experienced some very difficult times and it shouldn’t be underestimated how much suffering some have been through in what ever circumstances they have encountered.


Feeling outraged at some of the events we see that happened or are happening in the world is natural if we care about the integrity of the world as a “whole”. Distilling the events we experience into wisdom that is useful in determining action if there is any we can take, either physically or energetically or just something to store away for latter use can be a helpful thing in navigating a direction for that response.


I was looking for a video to add here that I saw many years ago about outrage but instead came across this video that I would encourage anyone feeling “what the heck is going on” to have listen to if you have time. The interview with Neil Kramer is about 1 hour and 17 minutes long and gets into current issues that some may find helpful, including the difficult feeling we are having surrounding views of people regarding the vaccine and many other relevant topics, looking at them from a philosophical view and the practical view of what we are facing.
p { margin-bottom: 0.25cm; line-height: 115%; background: transparent }


yQCIjVpgeOQ

[happyuk]

Thanks for this, and it's an important and fascinating issue to discuss. I'd love to hear everyone else's views and experiences.

Here's a starting point. Many will have seen this before, but it's worth repeating. And it's true.

https://www.askideas.com/media/37/Anybody-can-become-angry-that-is-easy-but-to-be-angry-with-the-right-person-and-to-the-right-degree-and-at-the-right-time-and-for-the-right-purpose-and-in-the-right-way..........jpg

What this means, I think, is that anger needs to be


Directed at the right target.
Proportional to the "offense".

And something that Aristotle didn't say is that this is all a subset (an aspect) of being honest.

That's the larger issue. Making nice with someone who you feel furious with for a well-justified reason isn't honest. Not with the other person, and not with yourself.

And there are ways of expressing anger that are more responsible than others.

Screaming at someone that they're a ******* jerk and punching them on the nose (or worse!) might not be as effective as sitting them down and telling them very strongly and directly that you're extremely angry with them, and explaining exactly why.

My own personal experience is slightly qualified, a little unusual inasmuch as I'm a minor public figure. And there are people to this day, some who've I've never met or ever interacted with, who post stuff on social media about me that's hateful, snide, inaccurate, vindictive and immature.

When I first encountered this, I was bewildered and hurt. It was like this Larson cartoon: :)

https://projectavalon.net/Larsen_deer.gif

Then I developed an increasingly thick skin. One develops that after this has happened over and over again. I still get hurt sometimes, but only very rarely, only when someone who I really thought was a true friend had suddenly (in my opinion) betrayed me. The last time that happened was 3 years ago.

So I've learned not to "be nice", but to ignore the critics and trolls. My energy and time is finite — as anyone's is — and so it's like a strategic management exercise to focus my time, energy and attention on things that seem to be useful, and not to get into firefights with people just because I feel like letting off steam.

And besides, as a mod here I get to use the one-click "ban" button, which is the internet equivalent of a firing squad. Simply ending someone's virtual existence.

So with "Gracy May", for instance, and also Frank (Aragorn), whose actions really did anger and disgust me, I simply banned them both and apologized sincerely to the Avalon community for not figuring it all out much earlier.

But after that, I never said or wrote a thing to them. They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.

~~~

I get angry about other things as well. The big-picture issue that angers me the most is the wilful, selfish destruction of the planet and its biosphere. I feel that more than anything else. Here's a tiny story, which happened a couple months ago.

I was on a mountain hike in a very beautiful place, but one which was not that far from a local tourist spot. So I knew that people besides myself sometimes went up there, but not that often and usually just on public holidays — which I carefully avoid.

As always, I was totally loving being there with my dog and all the tiny, subtle, delicate living things all around me. Then I came across this big pile of trash.

Someone had just dumped it there after a picnic. It wasn't heavy, just a big bunch of plastic bags, uneaten junk food and empty containers. They could so very easily have taken it back with them.

I can't properly express how overwhelmed with rage I was. It was so strong, it actually surprised me.

It was a tiny thing. But for me it epitomized (served as a perfect example of) the way humans now are so utterly disconnected with anything that resembles what used, long ago, to be an unquestioned traditional value of taking guardian care of the whole oh-so-valuable, beautiful world around us.

It was dumb ignorance. And (for me) it said EVERYTHING about our terminally sick consumer society.

I collected the trash, every tiny bit of it, and carried it back with me. The hike to the road was maybe 45 minutes.

In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.


All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.

A similar emotion arose in me once under a similar circumstance, caused by: (get this!) an abandoned shopping trolley!

A bit more difficult to do these days, given that practically all supermarkets require some kind of coin or token to use their carts.

But at the time it it struck a chord so deep it took the best part of a day for angry thoughts such as these to subside...


If you can't push a trolley a few metres to keep it from blocking parking spaces then go to a country with no functional government, you would fit in much better there.


People who don't return the shopping cart are why a punitive system of punishment needs to exist.


Imagine if every single customer left their cart in the lot like you... the car parks would be a total mess.

And so on and so on lol.

(But - with the benefit of a calmer mind I still think The trolley is a true test of how well a person can function, and is usually a projection of their inner world and that people of this caliber are doomed to fail in any undertaking).

[ian33]

social media encourages pretence of being perfect, as do many other things in life such as the relationship/mating game
the undeclared self becomes the denied shadow self, which may be quietly projected on others(its not me its you), behind the nice mask..
with groups of that nature eg religion, we have to contend with a collective shadow reinforced and propped by the group
some people channel the unconscious shadow of others. manifestation through the line of least resistance..

[Matthew]

...
They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.
...

If people show remorse or an inkling of self-doubt that goes a long way. The problem can be when people stick to their guns and pretend to themselves they don't need to change anything. The former doesn't seem such a big issue only the latter. If someone doesn't know they stink it's the big problem. Self-awareness is key imho

[Violet3]

Hmm, it all depends on how you define 'nice'- it is a description that can be filled with contempt.
I have to say that anger has been the bane of my life, and my family's. I struggle with it every day, it is so very deep in me, and I don't even know what it is about.
Did I just grow up with such angry people that it became embedded in me?
I try to be nice in a genuine way, to not be self-absorbed in my dislikes and demands of myself and others, not be so critical. Sometime I don't feel nice but act it as a way to connect to another way of being that is kinder to others. Sometimes I have to stop being righteous and remind myself that I might be right about something but still do harm or simply be ignored (which makes me so mad) because of my delivery.
There are so many things to be angry about now- like all the lies and fear-mongering. In this context, trying to be calm and be nice is part of my spiritual practice I guess, but by that I do not mean not being true to myself as far as I can work that out. And it is really hard for me.

[ExomatrixTV]

Playing nice while covering up your true face/stance/feelings ... is EXACTLY why people are extremely sensitive to "hints" and/or "indirect messages" and/or "body language" and/or "tonality of some ones voice" all to "figure out" what some one "really means" ... Because you assume "the other" is like you "playing nice too" and everybody seems not to live in real self-honesty ... if you did you are called "rude and/or blunt" and "egotistical" because they decided to "sacrifice" their true self being "nice" all the time.


What a waste of time & energy ... :facepalm:

When you are 100% honest to yourself first then to others and super direct without the assumption "you know it all" attitude open to be corrected if need be (to have an antenna open that things could be different that you think it is) <<< that healthy approach not only helps the other to know what you really meant ... it also helps you to learn more about your intuition & assumptions being tested ... Getting feedback ... if you allow to learn from all sides ... but what if "most sides" are not even honest to themselves?

You know you have to be careful to "please" anyone helping them to continue living the lies they (pretend to) believe to be "real". With all the consequences of that behavior. Self-deception is like self-hypnoses ... If you get "results" by lying to yourself and others >>> slowly it becomes "natural" to you ... of course you will defend your "accomplishments" & "privileges" you obtained by lying to yourself and others until you become victim of "like minded" people MIRRORING back the same behavior.


In short ... you reap what you sow ... allowing yourself to express your uniqueness in self-honesty is the true freedom of your Spirit and Soul ... anything less is for weak-minded people mostly blaming everyone else but themselves for the self-deception habits that is going on for decades.

To be really frank & open is for a lot of people "science fiction" and it only happens when people feel safe with someone ... but after playing nice for so long you may not know who you really are as you never tested yourself outwardly ... Internally you may have many "battles" going on "how to be" and "who to please" in "certain way" ... if you let go of all of that >>> and start being honest then only then you get to know yourself much faster & better.


disclaimer: when I use the word "you" ... I do not mean anyone particular ... it is just to describe a psychological mechanism that can happen to everybody! ... Depending where you're at and with whom you are working with.

cheers,
John Kuhles aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 14th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳

[Bill Ryan]

Wow, what a great thread this is. One of the best. :heart2:

[Vangelo]

social media encourages pretence of being perfect, as do many other things in life such as the relationship/mating game
the undeclared self becomes the denied shadow self, which may be quietly projected on others(its not me its you), behind the nice mask..
with groups of that nature eg religion, we have to contend with a collective shadow reinforced and propped by the group some people channel the unconscious shadow of others. manifestation through the line of least resistance..

Need to bump this one ian33, you packed a lot in 3 sentences. I find it quite helpful in my life to understand the phenomenon described in this thread and people's reactions through the lens of Jung and shadow work. For me, I get empowered when I truly understand how external events and the behaviors of others trigger my shadows. It allows me to consciously and deliberately choose how I will respond (rather than being hijacked by the triggering event) and it also helps me heal my inner wounds.

My life changed for the better when I began to study shadow integration and Jung (although some of the literature out there takes shadow work in the wrong direction).

[Le Chat]

The Simpsons clip was wonderful....

[Eagle Eye]

Being nice and being righteous are two different things. The first one if it's a constant attitude, it will make a person vulnerable to many injustices. The second one will make a person cautious from evil actions. To be truthful is way better than being nice.

[ExomatrixTV]

I rather be rude or blunt with truth than "nice" with lies (or half truths) ...

cheers,
John Kuhles aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 14th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳


--o-O-o--


... and there many ways to share "your truth" in such a way it is okay for others to correct you if need be ... "nothing is as it seems" is more prevalent nowadays in 2022

... even if your untold truth turned out to be (partially) incorrect tell it anyway ... this is the fastest way to grow up ;)

[Open Minded Dude]

I would differentiate between the 'ego' view and the 'society' view here.

Ego view: It is in a way 'spiritual' (don't like that word strangely because it always gets overused) to be self-aware enough. This means to become the "OBSERVER" behind your THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS. This is also what many spiritual wisdoms teach us.
However, that in turn - and this often gets misunderstood imv- does not mean that you cannot live out your thoughts and emotions, e.g. getting angry etc. You always should be (at least I strive to be) 'aware' of the observer behind this game you play as a 'person' that is just (rightfully or not) angry, upset, fearful, anxious, etc. So nothing wrong with emotions and also the thoughs that cause them. Some 'nice spiritual' people have this wrong imv when they 'pretend' all is well and high vibration, which it is often not. Of course there are emotions we cannot prevent as they are 'reflexes' and also caused by the hormonal system such as e.g. fear in danger situations, or anger at very bad people or people acting very badly in the moment. This is also 'natural' and playing nice here is out of place, yet again, it is good to be aware of the observer behind it all telling you 'oh, I am / this person that is me is ... angry, upset, fearful,' etc.

Society: We are here to experience duality and that means the good the bad and the ugly. Simple as that. Some are hermits or live in monasteries to avoid this but even they cannot fully. And society and your environment always 'provokes' you. It is the rule of the game down here to have challenges and be challenged, also emotionally.
What is important though: I loved the post above about 'choose your fights', that means you should be 'effective' where to put your emotional energy (while still in control by also being aware of the observer behind it all) or you will burn out quickly with all the negative health consequences. Do not let you get angry at everything and let some bad things (including 'just' other opinions you don't agree with) be or happen - unless there is not way out and you need to speak up either to defend yourself or others or while you see a high degree of injustice etc. Not every battle must be fought; not every war must be won at all cost. Choose wisely.

[Jacqui D]

I think to be one emotion all the time (being happy) may be a little robotic, we all have an emotional body form so although very nice to be happy all the time your showing one side when in fact you are many emotional feelings. If i knew someone who was really happy all the time i think i would have to ask whether they are so indifferent because they wish to be that way or are they being programmed to be like that.

[TomKat]

being cowed by other people to the point of a permanent smile has nothing to do with spirituality, it has to do with cowardice and lack of confidence and personal integrity





Or you can end up like this lol
_1vTGN52MCc

/rant

(Nedward Flanders, Jr. grew up in New York , currently lives at 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield)

End up like what? Two dimensional? :ninja:

https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/56928921/its-just-nonsense.jpg

:shielddeflect::ROFL:

[Agape]

I’m in complete agreement with the meaning of this thread and thanks to all contributions to the topic 🙏

It’s so hot in India I’ve almost disassembled number of things in matter of few days or say they’re naturally coming apart so please forgive me if I’m stylistically retrograde.

I would say, it’s important ( with me) to maintain kind and compassionate inner attitude but not to give people more emotional burden or trauma.
Whether that plays “nice” for the particular person or people concerned is irrelevant,

it’s simple as to say learning to say “NO” ( or no , no and no) to various things in human life is important and it’s a long learning curve and each time we fail to say no to something vitally disagreeable with ourselves,
try to deceive our soul and senses ,
we pay high price for it.

If you have kindness and openness in your heart , more wisdom or more spirit - aren’t both a gift to some and hard won boon to others,
people will eventually start feeling the beats of your heart
and this we find friends mystically ,
without talking.

No I don’t believe in theatrical spirituality and precalculated wisdom.

I don’t believe in medial smiles, face paints, high heels and golden earrings no matter what your mother and my mother said about it.


I gave up on many dates&dines with self important people in my life if I figured out I would have to force myself to it

and I go seeing friends once upon a time only when we all feel blessed and meaningful about the time.


But no matter how many people do I get to see or meet everyday I look into their meaning , their suffering, their beauty, their revolting spirit,
so we all respect each other for the truth

and I refuse and do not repeat their sarcasms about this world being crazy, fake and demoralised because it does not help a bit to be sour .

I feel in serious and responsible role as elder student and sort of therapist to any society, any country I’ve ever been to because I want to learn and listen to the souls and what do people have to say to all this new world chaos I also call humanitarian disaster

and find we all actually feel so similar about it there is nothing to pretend.

I know exactly the same situation Bill quoted about the carelessness of people, their cars taking so much space producing so much heat and pollution and tons of garbage they leave behind , read of microplastic pollution in Antarctica and Borth Pole

but furthest this has got me is it moved me to tears realising those people aren’t hungry or on brink of starvation anymore.

I don’t have the 16 year olds power to change to yell or “tell everyone” and there is hardly any true anger left in me from ever and if I get upset it would cost me heart collapse these days so it too is a lesson

about not getting upset about it all but perhaps,
start thinking of innovative solutions.

For example “how to clean the Himalayas” in 3 days and if everyone went out to help on the same days it would be easy.

Since I don’t have the power to be vocal about it my awareness of many topics has deepened and grown instead and lots of it is ..trash.

So in matters of advanced consciousness, intelligence and wisdom I feel it’s important to focus on long term tasks ( rather than fighting dog -cat wars ) and keep mind in good shape, cultivate decent linguistic experience ,
reject vanity and snobbism and “small talks” about nothing.

It would be great if the current human civilisation could return to some manner instead of over reacting and jumping to conclusions
and if it found value of silence, peace and contentment

instead of cultivating artificial hunger and desires for luxuries
leading to equally fake envy or jealousy

and co-invented sense of despair for missing something
you can’t immediately have.


Young generations around us are coming through much more clear, open hearted and fully resonant with the intelligence of Universe than many of their burdened forefathers

and there seems to be a hope in every new generation
being personally more aware, more honest , more educated and truthful with the meaning of everything than the previous ones.

So it was with us and so I see them coming through now and in future.



One day the roles will reverse , in faraway future this world will be run by children and it will be fast and efficient organisation I believe.


😀

[Denise/Dizi]

I would suggest that being "Nice" and being happy are two different things... But being nice can create more happiness...

I strive to be nice, friendly, approachable and kind, but there are times when I am not always successful at that... But the way I choose (and it is a choice), to behave around others is to be pleasant, and well... as nice as possible.

I will however intervene if I can in some way when I find someone else trying to hurt others in some way..

It's my opinion that one can deal with adversity, or annoying things in a nice way as well, whenever possible... It isn't fake, I am not shorting myself the full range of emotions available to me...

Funny story, but very true...The first time I met Bluegreen, we danced together, outside, and in front of strangers. We had never met prior to that moment... and we did not know eachother in any way...

There was music playing, and we were just having a spontaneous moment of random fun together... I later found him in the same room I was going to... and was happy that we had shared that spur of the moment random time together... It was "Nice"

Had either one of us been averting gazes, grumpy, and unhappy, that experience never would have presented itself...

So for me, "Niceness" breeds more of the same...

[Jim_Duyer]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

But then, you still allow the other person to steal, and nothing much changed, you are not getting frustrated but this allows the other person to continue harming your neighbor without any consequences

This is what i meant by


it opens some bad doors for behavior of others


But yeah i understand "sometimes it's just not worth it to fight it", however if done too much then everything becomes plain and bland, and then there's no change happening, life gets stalled in several ways. It's like the bystander effect thing somehow

OSsPfbup0ac

Well ..... one can not completely change ones spots. So I have turned him in to the county municipality - for having three houses on his land without building permits for any of them. And since he is the IT guy for the county and does the payroll as well for them, he has to explain to the local TV station why he is such a dick. OR perhaps seek employment elsewhere. But we both know that the ones in government rarely if ever suffer any penalties - pretty sure it will be swept under the rug. But I did get to see him turn red when they showed up.

[O Donna]

being cowed by other people to the point of a permanent smile has nothing to do with spirituality, it has to do with cowardice and lack of confidence and personal integrity





Or you can end up like this lol
_1vTGN52MCc

/rant

(Nedward Flanders, Jr. grew up in New York , currently lives at 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield)

End up like what? Two dimensional? :ninja:

https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/56928921/its-just-nonsense.jpg

:shielddeflect::ROFL:

Not sure what that has to do with the post other then a misconception of the spirit of it, but okay. Obviously exercising dart throwing skills. The target you sought is no longer there, opportunity squandered.



when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing - Alanis Morissette

Maybe next time?

[Spiral]

There is another side to this too, the mirror image so to speak.

When nasty, sociopathic & manipulative people use "niceness" to disarm & manipulate others, esp people brought up with too large an emphasis on politeness & not upsetting others.

In particular the British middle classes have weaponised niceness to the point of an art form. The culture of the BBC being a case in point.

When someone uses manners & smiles to disarm you & make you either submit, or even go along with something, even if it's just their boring stories, they are being manipulative, not nice, regardless of what your programming says.


That said, in relation to the need to be "nice", is it because you are afraid of your own reactions & emotions ? If so is that because they really are that bad, or did a parent make you believe that because they weren't developed enough to cope with that ?

[O Donna]

It is also a futile ground for the likes of psychopaths' and sociopaths.
All they have to do is mimic the behaviorism and wear the spiritual regatta and guards are let down when in reality further vetting should have taken place.


The sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church is the result of what police call "noble cause corruption," the belief that because you are dedicated to doing good, you can do no wrong.

Alex Gibney

Also add any group that has an idealistic mantra/ mission statement and identifiable outfit that is meant to automatically command respect and trust via public portrayal in the news and the like. Example: police, politicians/ 'suits', soldiers, nurse/ doctor, teachers, judge etc.

Alluded to in Dr. Kings speech:


I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

[JackMcThorn]

I would argue that being nice most of the time, is indeed, wise.

Reaping what your sowing.
Getting what you are giving.
Treating others the way you wish to be treated.
A spoonful of honey attracts more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
Not complaining.
And the already mentioned, choosing your battles.

Even if the 'customer is always right'; honey goes much farther than vinegar.

These ideas can be accomplished without being manipulative or coercive and the results will speak for themselves.

In the OP the example of a bad day at the swimming hole is noted; but you don't need to ruin someone else's day over it. There is something to be said about having strength and the accompanying silence that could go along with it.

[Strat]

Meh, I'm a nice person and I'm going to continue to be friendly to others. It has nothing to do with spirituality, more to do with maturing and learning how to effectively socialize with my fellow human. Simple is that.

I see your Simpsons and raise you 1 cheesy action flick:
-QJsljIDKkk

[Mike]

For me, it all depends on why someone is being nice all the time.

Often constant, unrelenting niceness is a sign of an unintegrated individual. What I mean is, it can be a sign that someone hasn't integrated the various parts of their psyche because they are fearful of doing so. In that way, the niceness is a default position and not so much a genuine one.

Another way of saying that is this: Some people are nice all the time because they desperately want to be liked. Some are nice all the time because they fear confrontation. Some are nice all the time because they want something from you. Some are nice all the time because they fear not only the anger of others but the anger in themselves. In that way it can be an emotionally cowardly offering. I've written about this stuff to a nauseating extent here, so I won't do it again. But it's all to do with the Jungian shadow concept.

Integrated individuals are naturally relaxed and pleasant because they have no such fears or insecurities. But if you were to describe them, "nice" might not be the first word you'd use. "Competent" would likely be the word you'd use. When you're competent - mentally and emotionally - niceness comes as a natural side effect.

Often "nice guys finish last", as they say, because in the absence of everything a competent adult male should provide, niceness is all they have to offer and is therefore overplayed to a sickening degree. And it scares women away, of course.

...and it scares men away too! Just think of any time someone tried to hook you up with a friend, and said something like, "Oh you really must meet her! She's so nice!" Most people instantly recoil when they hear that, because they intuitively understand all this.

I don't think we should strive to be "nice". I think we should strive to be integrated first, and a more genuine form of niceness will eventually flow from that.

[Michel Leclerc]

Integrated, competent, nice...

All very nice.

What about "good"?

“He’s a good man.” “She’s a good woman.”...

..when I hear this, said without irony! — the capacity of making that judgment about a person without irony; in other words: sincerely.. is itself a sign of goodness —

when I hear this being said about a person with full sincerity, to me that is the highest praise. My trust (my readiness to love) is then absolute.

(To link this to the topic of another thread – and allowing language to speak for itself: the words "good" and "god" share the same origin.)

***

Jesus allowed a loving woman to wash and oil and massage his dirty, tired feet. Jesus whipped the money crooks out of the Temple.

[Mike]

Integrated, competent, nice...

All very nice.

What about "good"?

“He’s a good man.” “She’s a good woman.”...

..when I hear this, said without irony! — the capacity of making that judgment about a person without irony; in other words: sincerely.. is itself a sign of goodness —

when I hear this being said about a person with full sincerity, to me that is the highest praise. My trust (my readiness to love) is then absolute.

(To link this to the topic of another thread – and allowing language to speak for itself: the words "good" and "god" share the same origin.)

***

Jesus allowed a loving woman to wash and oil and massage his dirty, tired feet. Jesus whipped the money crooks out of the Temple.


When I hear that someone is "good" - man or woman - it does have a different meaning to me than "nice".

When someone says "He's a good man", I imagine a man with integrity, sound judgement, a clear sense of right and wrong, and someone whose words matches his actions. But that's what an integrated person is!:)

Before you can be good, kind, or nice in any kind of genuine way, you first must be integrated (at least to some degree!). Jesus is the perfect example of a fully integrated individual.

Having said all that, I think nearly every human being deserves to be treated with at least a baseline level of kindness, just for showing up!:) But I make a distinction between that and the sort of relentless "niceness" that's being implied in the OP, which should often be regarded with healthy skepticism imo, for some of the reasons I listed and more.

[ExomatrixTV]

there is no dispute about the word "nice" ... what we are talking about is "playing nice" ... that is something different

[Tyy1907]

Differentiation between being nice (living in a high vibration) and acting nice. People can tell.

In a sense there are no secrets.

[Tyy1907]

I would argue that being nice most of the time, is indeed, wise.

Reaping what your sowing.
Getting what you are giving.
Treating others the way you wish to be treated.
A spoonful of honey attracts more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
Not complaining.
And the already mentioned, choosing your battles.

Even if the 'customer is always right'; honey goes much farther than vinegar.

These ideas can be accomplished without being manipulative or coercive and the results will speak for themselves.

In the OP the example of a bad day at the swimming hole is noted; but you don't need to ruin someone else's day over it. There is something to be said about having strength and the accompanying silence that could go along with it.

This is rewarding as far as it goes. Like keeping the peace, live and let live. This describes me in the work place. My work place is a rough sort of place. A Fertilizer Mill. The f word is used innumerably lol.

Of course we're human too so being Mr Nice guy wears me out at times. In a dog eat dog kind of place, others can mow you over if you let them. My struggle lol.

I ask Creator for partnership daily, to feel, open to, and express love. And to find the best expression of my soul. With persistence I've found success in this approach. It's like you don't have to try, you are in the flow so to speak. Everything is just easier. It's like being plugged into the battery charger vs running on battery power alone.

When people get to me though I have to do remote spirit releasment for myself. I can literally feel an anxiety, like I'm being siphoned on. It begins to change you're energy signature and before you know it you're seemingly getting kicked around from all directions. This technique has been a God send. I feel it lift from me and feel normal again.

Sorry if I'm jumping around. It seems this gentler, keep to myself approach is an expression that suits me. Keeps me out of trouble for the most part.

Then the other side of the coin. Certain people just won't like you. I stand in my truth still and have little to do with them. The darts don't stop though. Instigators find a way. Sometimes I forget that everybody wants love.

Which brings me back to being kind. Genuine kind, not fake. People can tell.

[Isserley]

Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

Acting upon other people actions is not my cup of tea. Often it can just fuel their actions even more and it can make one feel quite righteous.

Righteousness - understand the DIFFERENCE between “being right” and “pushing your right onto someone else and making them wrong in the process”

[ExomatrixTV]

Some "play nice" because "pretend feelings" that are not really there can trigger other "nice feelings" when colleagues, friends, family behave in a certain way they intended to steer/manipulate others to go a certain direction ... that kind of "nice feelings" is based upon deception towards oneself AND others ... If you do this long enough you may assume everybody is like that.

A "side effect" of this prolonged (self-deceptive) behavior is that they (sometimes) assume others are "some how" lying even when they telling the truth ... fascinating psychological mechanism!


In short: "playing nice" is actually manipulative behavior even when it is done with "good intentions".

When people have to be dishonest towards themselves first to "fit in" they may use the phrase (I often hear people say verbally): "if I have to be completely honest" then apologizing they are actually allowing themselves to state or say something in complete honesty ... Seen as something "exceptional", which it shouldn't ... it should be completely common to be honest even if others do not "like" what you have to say. But that is my take on it.

I wonder if a person who only want to be "nice to others" no matter what ... is the opposite of spirituality ... because it feels like spiritual suicide to me ... Like you are not allowing yourself to show your true-self going through stages of all kinds of challenges we all can have or have to face.

Maybe, just maybe we all are spiritual beings coming from "higher dimensions" where lying is (near) impossible as everything is 100% transparent ... and some (vaguely) remember where we originally came from who were used to be pure and honest by default ... and in this context lying to oneself seems completely ridiculous ... But for an actor to be "believed" he or she has to believe the script as if it were real and through these believed emotions it represents it becomes an energy of its own ... like a template for many, a "powerful symbol".

So it is not only about being deceptive ... it is how it makes you feel and going with that for whatever reason ... and when others join that vibe they may seem "authentic" to you even if they are completely deceived! ... Whitewashed lies are "believed lies" registered as "truth" via any professional lie-detector >>> because the repeater of the lie is not aware it was a lie!


In my view, being genuine & authentic, free from any (hidden) agendas is really rare nowadays.

cheers,
John Kuhles (https://whynotnews.eu) aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 15th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳


reminder: there is no dispute about the word "nice" ... what we are talking about is "playing nice" ... that is something different

[ExomatrixTV]

Even if you chose never to "act" nice (play nice) if you are not able to be nice ... does not mean you have to be a jerk using among others: over the top exaggerations, lying, misrepresentations, extreme shouting & yelling, willingly hurting people etc.


Choosing NOT to "act nice" is not the same as: "not be able to be genuine nice".

Imagine that you allow yourself only to be really nice when you really mean it ... so that (almost) nobody questions your motives ... as you have proven yourself being consistent in being the real deal! ... Being in alignment how you really feel ... That means the (mutual) experience of that genuine niceness is far superior than anything else :) ... Most can actually feel/sense that difference.

If a cat :cat:or a dog :dog: is nice to you ... do you question its validity? ... of course not ... unless you do not give it food for days then you may question it ... maybe a perfect insight of the human condition.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[ExomatrixTV]

100% related:


Radical Honesty – What If We All Told The Truth?

6viSZCnIpPY


radicalhonesty.com/videos (https://www.radicalhonesty.com/videos)

[ian33]

100% related:


Radical Honesty – What If We All Told The Truth?

6viSZCnIpPY


radicalhonesty.com/videos (https://www.radicalhonesty.com/videos)


not easy as people quite often don't believe you, which in effect is them thinking/ you are lying..
then there is that it can upset people, who may accuse you of upsetting them as if that's the intention, no matter how careful you might try not to do that
..there are also people who like to take advantage of any truth that is revealed
..the world seems more and more set up to punish honesty, and reward deception

[Matthew]

ps. Even if you chose never to "act" nice (play nice) if you are not able to be nice ... does not mean you have to be a jerk using among others: over the top exaggerations, lying, misrepresentations, extreme shouting & yelling, willingly hurting people etc.
...

There is an implicit concept here; influencing model. It's a way to deconstruct and poke a stick at the meta-idea of why we post the content and how we would/could/should post our content, not just the content. It's not a totally ideal model though ...the concept of an influencing model can be constricting, and it takes something very complex and dumbs it down to crayon level nuances. However, it is also a way to differentiate one persons impact vs another's, and self-reflect on good and bad influencing attempts. If you don't think you're using an influencing model you are anyway.

If you don't want your words and thoughts to get into someone else's head why not just write your stuff in notepad and save it locally? And never post it online? We don't share opinions to have people hate and reject our opinions. Thinking of it like this, posting content for others to read, is kind of a type of negotiation. It's a negotiation but where you have no authority. Yet we see people say great words regularly, that influence us, here on this very forum. And you don't have to be nice to influence as MKUltra knows. Dale Carnegie wrote a famous book with an awful title about this, but the basic premise of his naff-titled book was the negotiation was going to be by somebody with authority, so Carnegie's paradigm is too old for our problem, and so sucks, even though he was bang on the money. Sometimes the best achievement possible for the day is to agree to differ. Basically I'm rabbiting on trying to say that it's not always what you do but how you do it that counts. It's not common to identify ones own influencing model. You got your influencing model from someone whether you knew you had one or not.

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is king... lies!

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is perceived as a lunatic, or just plain rude, unless they learn to fit in with idiots; if they have superior sight would they hide and cower? Or would they rule? Use their sight to learn influencing model basics, 5 step negotiation model basics and the classic change curve model, and they might stand a chance, and good luck to them! My 2 cents :Angel:

[Chester]

Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

Somehow, this is identified as being a very spiritual person, or wise or something along those lines

But it is not, it's unnatural and bizarre, it's like 'a spiritual servant' to other people's energies. Someone who doesn't even try to change the order of some things is not a good person really, it opens some bad doors for behavior of others, if you think about it

Also this, if you are 100% of the time a very nice person, and never, ever get angry because of other people's actions, it just means that you are not growing at all, you have a 'wall of nice' around you, and as soon as you lose control over it you'll probably get a mental breakdown and end up in loony town

It makes a person vey bizarre, truly, because it should be normal that other people's actions make you angry or bothered, and you should be able to express it and then the other person, ideally, should be able to reason this and change something in them to avoid causing that bad effect on other people, or somehow talk about the issue, if this is avoided, then it's all fake, isn't it?

When i see people who always smile, even if something very bad happens, i don't think they are optimistic, i think they are a boiler about to explode, holding so much pressure that it becomes bizarre to watch, and the smile is like a human mask facade of some sort, it's not real, it's the opposite of truly being happy and of truly living life to the max

If you don't get upset or bothered by some things, then how do you truly enjoy peaceful moments, if you can't feel the intensity of life anymore? Sometimes going to the river and swimming means it may rain and then you did not get to swim the way you wanted, and it's ok to feel disappointed or bothered by it. It's how nature works, or maybe you twist your ankle in the rocks one second away from entering the water and then there's no swimming anymore, and that's how life works, and if you want to throw rocks at the water to get rid of the frustration so do it!

Not everything is a signal o or lesson from life, and not everything has a special meaning/purpose from the creator, and being 100% perfect spiritual and loving all the time is fake, that's not wisdom or anything but craziness waiting to happen

A twisted ankle hurts like hell, and there's no lesson there, it twisted because the person stepped on a rock and wasn't firm enough and now they day at the river is ruined, cry or yell and feel frustrated and then slowly walk home and take care of the pain somehow, and don't go smiling pretending that 'it's fine, other people must be suffering more' because it's not, it hurts like hell and what other people may be going through has nothing to do with your ruined day and current pain

Or you can end up like this lol
_1vTGN52MCc

/rant

Now THIS is a POST!!! Thank you, Mashika. I hope every member (and non-member lurker) reads contemplatively this post.

[Chester]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

There would be ways in CR to deal with this... GET CREATIVE! I have plenty of ideas and have made them available through "the field" if you so desire to "look" at them. Pura Vida!

[Chester]

100% related:


Radical Honesty – What If We All Told The Truth?

6viSZCnIpPY


radicalhonesty.com/videos (https://www.radicalhonesty.com/videos)


Imagine what a fully telepathic reality experience might be like for all the denizens of that reality? It would be a maximal trust society. These denizens will have eliminated the barrier between their consciousness and their personal unconscious. Thus, my point/suggestion is, work to that - do that. And it all starts with radical self-honesty.

For those who accomplish this, dishonesty with self/others disappears as they also become fully telepathic.

The trick is for our attainment of a maximal trust society while retaining the single most important quality - individuality. We loose that, we lose the tension between competing ideas. We loose this tension, we lose the creative fire. We lose that and the life force dies.

This is why almost everyone alive today that thinks about this wants to revert to a traditional past. The few (like myself) who are future oriented, and we will bifurcate... indeed, we are doing so now.

[ulli]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

I’m familiar with these situations, since I also live in Costa Rica.
First of all, the whole country’s population is forced from birth to be really, really nice, in public, which leads to incredibly repressed individuals.
It is in the collective culture.

They then let off their steam on their animals, and also there is a high ratio of domestic abuse. And many other hidden ways, like dumping garbage where they really should not, the way Bill described in another post.

There is also a streak of xenophobia, especially against Gringos, who dare to carry their anger on their sleeves. But this xenophobia comes out in indirect ways, it is never expressed as anger, rather they just try to avoid contact, or trip you up in other ways…or they could be predators who wish to go after your hard earned cash. And even those types are always really really nice when you meet them.

About the water issue…the best authority to involve is the local water company (ASADA OR AYA) and report the entie situation to them. They would immediately intervene, based on the fact that there is water being used that they have not yet put on a meter. Hence, lost earnings.
We can’t have that now, can we?? Lol.

[Jim_Duyer]

People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

I’m familiar with these situations, since I also live in Costa Rica.
First of all, the whole country’s population is forced from birth to be really, really nice, in public, which leads to incredibly repressed individuals.
It is in the collective culture.

They then let off their steam on their animals, and also there is a high ratio of domestic abuse. And many other hidden ways, like dumping garbage where they really should not, the way Bill described in another post.

There is also a streak of xenophobia, especially against Gringos, who dare to carry their anger on their sleeves. But this xenophobia comes out in indirect ways, it is never expressed as anger, rather they just try to avoid contact, or trip you up in other ways…or they could be predators who wish to go after your hard earned cash. And even those types are always really really nice when you meet them.

About the water issue…the best authority to involve is the local water company (ASADA OR AYA) and report the entie situation to them. They would immediately intervene, based on the fact that there is water being used that they have not yet put on a meter. Hence, lost earnings.
We can’t have that now, can we?? Lol.

In the last five years I have made friends with more people than I have in the previous twenty. The people in the mountains are the best, in my opinion. This is just an exception - he and his family moved up here from Limon about eight years ago, and they have been doing similar things for years. Including illegally cutting down trees all over the place, cutting them up and selling them elsewhere.

They had one of the wives elected to the school board last year, locally, and then she awarded a "contract" to her husband, who built shoddy coverings over the school playground, without permits, and basically stole all of our school funds.

The result? They transferred their kids to another district and go about their ways - enjoying the new flatbed truck they bought with the proceeds.
All of them burn their garbage and plastic in a steel drum - even though we have garbage pickup nearby.
They are just a mess.

Yes, you must have permission from the Ministry to have water rights - but they don't charge for that, and they don't put it on a meter. They simply verify your claims as to how much you need, and then give you a certificate for that amount. I have one myself, that's why I am familiar with it.

Because he is in the Municipal government, nothing was done when I reported the building of three houses without permits. They will be allowing him to pay a small fine, which is less than the amount that the permits would have cost.

I am now back in my take it easy mode. My friends up here got a big kick out of the angry gringo who complained about unfairness - and it went nowhere, just as they told me. They see the USA as a third world country much like their own, at least recently. Neither here nor in the USA does any of the law breakers get punished, as long as they are high enough up the ladder.

My friends tell me that I am actually lucky in a way - if you live next door to thieves and criminals they will almost never steal from you - it would bring too much heat to their home operations.

So, now I am back to take it easy, enjoy the day. Thanks for your reply.

[Mike]

Just came across this video. Perfect for this thread. 12 mins long:

LM6WsBG3Ofs

[ExomatrixTV]

Just came across this video. Perfect for this thread. 12 mins long:
LM6WsBG3Ofs
:bump: excellent choice!

[Michel Leclerc]

(...)

When someone says "He's a good man", I imagine a man with integrity, sound judgement, a clear sense of right and wrong, and someone whose words matches his actions. But that's what an integrated person is!:)

Before you can be good, kind, or nice in any kind of genuine way, you first must be integrated (at least to some degree!). Jesus is the perfect example of a fully integrated individual.

(...)

Yes Mike; I mostly agree. But you see, I prefer "good" to "integrated"; first because "integrated" harks back to the Jungian set of concepts – and not everybody is at home in Jung (when I talk with the pretty rural crowd here of organic farmers, they “know”/“feel” etc. what “goodness” is, but they have never heard of “integration”). You yourself cite Jesus as a “fully integrated” individual but saying that does not explain Jesus with the concept of integration, it helps understanding integration by giving Jesus as an example...

And so I do not see why it would be necessary to be "integrated" first, before one can be "good"...

I must admit that I am a bit wary of Jung (although I am in awe at his Red Book (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Book_(Jung))) – and obviously his thoughts can be, and are, very helpful to a lot of people. It is maybe a matter of taste; I immersed myself in Freud and Lacan, and admire most of all the "unruly" psychoanalyst Georg Groddeck (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georg_Groddeck) who is nearer to immediate, intuitive “apperception” of meaning, un-mediated by words or images (as, typically, in Freudian dream analysis) — hence my belief in the simplest, and/or oldest of words, like “good” as I wrote (being related to “god”)...

And so a “simple” person, who “knows” how to grow delicious shii-take, or to make sure that the little brook offers enough breeding cover for the ducks, also “knows” very well, I guess, as you do, what the difference is between "good" and "nice"..

[shaberon]

There is another side to this too, the mirror image so to speak.

When nasty, sociopathic & manipulative people use "niceness" to disarm & manipulate others, esp people brought up with too large an emphasis on politeness & not upsetting others.

In particular the British middle classes have weaponised niceness to the point of an art form. The culture of the BBC being a case in point.

When someone uses manners & smiles to disarm you & make you either submit, or even go along with something, even if it's just their boring stories, they are being manipulative, not nice, regardless of what your programming says.


That said, in relation to the need to be "nice", is it because you are afraid of your own reactions & emotions ? If so is that because they really are that bad, or did a parent make you believe that because they weren't developed enough to cope with that ?



That is pretty close to how I see it.

I am not a nice person whatsoever. Much more like a predator.

I can be polite when I decide to, and I'm very helpful, but what I mean is if I see a person as described above, my instincts are basically on "kill" and I overlook it because there would be consequences.


And there are plenty of times that the words coming out of your mouth should not match the thoughts in your head, but, let's say, there is another "adjustment process" that has nothing to do with whether something is uber nice.


Most people like to upset you just to upset you. They told me so.

I will do it for a reason, that is, I am going to consciously choose what sort of expressions I give off, compared to my inner assessment of situations. And if you get really mad about trivial situations, then you just look juvenile, so I am not talking about b!tching about everything either.

It really is a flux.

Disney World has been credited with coming up with the first serious "plastic face" for its employees, i. e., part of your job is just to be so nice and cute, and you have to act this way even if you are selling hot dogs.


Most of the girls I work with keep saying "sorry", as if they were afraid or ashamed to actually be somewhere. Not too far back, I made one cry and quit over a joke.

"Pardon me" is polite speech for gtfo of the way.

They probably don't feel they can move me, and I cannot find anyone who could stop me.

This is a new level of discovery about this "sorry" all the time, it is like I have uncovered a breed or something. Don't sneak up on someone and say "sorry", call them "Truffles". If there is no pause, you have probably encountered someone with no soul.

Otherwise, "too nice" is a little bit revolting, about like too much saccharin.

[Agape]

Today’s corporeal world is run by agnostics. It’s a world where you are bound to get lost among human collective chaos because the ideology of doubt and skepticism dictates you are acting mostly on random and see self as animal among animals. Monkey see monkey do 🙊
People repeat each other’s patterns including thought patterns , words and actions trying to find the most successful pattern that would work it out.
No matter what the fad is . In turn, human society of today allows few independent thinkers but supports co-think via internet that extends to common society and the consumer market.

That kind of programmed consciousness is stamped on everything, from money to labels.

If you happen not to touch “their stamps” even for a day, you may find yourself back with your spirit.

Never forget that all of the program that includes internet communications and programs is tied to social mass control and is strictly based in duality.

Whoever or whatever does not “comply” with the code level programmed is automatically rejected or misinterpreted by Siri ( metaphorically any AI from simple to complicated ) .


If people are genuinely interested in finding a new conscious platforms of spirit and intelligence they would have to see clearly through the rest of social programming otherwise “freedom” and “wisdom” likewise become lower case denominations valid within parameters of programs someone else operate .


In truth, any truth about human life is neither “nice”, sweet or easy to take in.

I meet with this ignorance of life everyday , think teenagers who can’t understand that their hard working aged parents are tired and do not laugh all day ,
people who want to “enjoy” and make the most of it as a lifestyle ,
people who spend lives in constant fight against one or another society,

and so on. People who look down on the underprivileged and disabled never getting the point, everyone is bound to get ill one day if we don’t care and die because this is Planet Earth, it’s hard here and there is no other way for the physical.


Their wisdom has ceased in endless search for “better justice” to their cause and more rhetorics being added to the chaos everyday ,
and very few people have respect to each other any more.

In continuous argument, a buzz of humanity increasing its volume and magnitude
wisdom becomes a “distraction” ,
silence becomes a “threat”

and truth , well ..after so many attempts to crucify the truth, cut it to pieces, nuke it and so forth,

the truth shines silently in the Space beyond capture.

One who beholds the truth may not “die” on instant but they’re certainly bound to lose face in their mirrors , I say.


For your face in the mirror like empty gig
of people’s theatres of yesterday
never washes

So vane are the arguments .

So beautiful the truths in absence of twists and paraphrase


So deep are the truth under nights full of Stars

Between you and the Universe of course


Away from hue-mans chatters


🐚

[araucaria]

I’m afraid I don’t have much time just now and this overhasty post may come across as disagreeable to some. That is not my intention. My comments will betray a rather sheltered existence, apart, that is, from my participation on this forum.

‘Nice’ is at the top of the list of those vague words which set you reaching for a dictionary of synonyms for something more specific or apposite, something to get your teeth into. The message of Jesus, ‘Love your neighbour as thyself’, in the modern idiom might simply mean ‘be nice to people’. But the original connotation of nicety, involving delicate discrimination, has never gone away. You might want to consider some of the near-synonyms : (sometimes heroic) forbearance, tolerance, forgiveness, patience, non-confrontation, positive attitude, openness, admitting that maybe one doesn’t know best… And of course gentleness, gentillesse in French.

We have a saying in our family, ‘being nice is not a trade’. Meaning that it it is no substitute for competence in whatever domain. And yet it is somehow priced into that. The tennis champion Roger Federer likes to say (notably to his four kids), ‘it’s nice to be important, but most of all it’s important to be nice’. Given that he is famous both for his competence and his niceness, the relationship between the two calls for further thought. On the one hand, the contrast is with professionalism, on the other it is with importance. Too often, your profession is your way of being important, and vice versa. Interestingly for Federer, tennis is just a game, which he says is trumped by niceness. His is an individual sport, but only the other day, the English cricketers won a famous victory against New Zealand based on team spirit, i.e. extraordinary mutual confidence, boosting individuals to produce record-breaking performances.

What this means is that in most human interactions, we are not professionally competent and therefore struggling to know how best to respond. A case in point is when you have dealings with a narcissist, as many people do since this type tends to gravitate up the social ladder towards positions of power : such people need professional help which we cannot give and which they reject anyway. I have a family member possibly matching this profile – I don’t know, I’m not a psychiatrist – who decided, without any input from me – apart, that is, from ordinary ‘niceness’ – that I was a nasty person to be avoided. Years later, I worked out that, as I was on good terms with his sister, I would see through his lies. This is interesting, because it suggests that niceness can be a sharp defensive weapon in such interactions. It can have an effect that we don’t even notice, one that repels unacceptable behaviour patterns.

I cannot recall offhand anything that I have regretted doing out of niceness. On the other hand, when things I have done that were in some respect regrettable were met with niceness, or forbearance, I would say that this has tided me over until such time as it became possible to understand the positive as well as the negative aspect of whatever it was. In such cases, the nice reaction may be taken to mean ‘I don’t have all the answers’. This may involve something as important as religious convictions. But to suggest that one doesn’t have all the answers is something that decent people are going to agree about, with no nastiness.


A word, then, about Bill Ryan’s anger on a divine scale over a bit of trash left in a beauty spot, the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. It has a counterpart in the original sin of Adam and Eve, who make the one mistake there is to be made, and everyone suffers for it for ever after. This is final sin is so trivial, compared with, say, launching a genocide or a nuclear holocaust, which amounts to saying that we now have a million ways of making a mistake, any one of which will do to trigger an apocalypse.
If we transpose this, Bill, to your management of this forum, then we immediately see a huge difference. You describe how you can occasionally ban a prominent member and tell them to get lost, but the above situation amounts to closing down the entire forum in disgust and heaven knows what in your personal life. Since you don’t seem to have this planned at all, then the above instance was a one-off. I’d say everything has to be a one-off (nicety as delicate discrimination) ; which suggests that the operative phrase in the thread title is ‘all the time’. But this may just be our subjective reaction to another person rather than an objective evaluation of their behaviour.

Maybe instead we have a million ways of being nice, or not. In this instance of litter in a beauty spot, there was apparently no possible niceness, no possible interaction at all with the anonymous perpetrators or understanding of possible mitigating circumstances. I would say that the quiet clearing up of the debris was more useful than the anger, being the nice thing to do and in complete contradiction with the feeling, not at all something an angry god would do.

I guess what I am trying to say is that being nice may not be a trade, but it can be very hard work because it means as far as possible not giving up on seemingly hopeless cases. Sodom and Gomorrah, as the story goes, were destroyed from outside because not a single righteous person was to be found there. If, as seems to be happening today, an actual member of such a community were to cast judgement on their own, then that would be tantamount to confessing ‘my personal shortcomings are enough to justify ending this entire experiment’. I heard only the other day from an unexpected quarter someone saying that the Earth is capable of wiping out a dysfunctioning civilization and so be it, this is where we are at. This mindset strikes me as itself contributing to the dysfunction, and a far cry from the winning attitude of Stokes and Foakes on the English cricket team.

The alternative to this self-condemnation would be to say, ‘I am far from perfect, but I am doing my level best to make this work, so if one righteous person makes a difference, I’d like to think it could be me. But by the same token, there are better candidates.’
The idea of a final sin sanctioned by divine wrath is the logical outcome of original sin. The alternative to anger is pedagogy, to say, okay you made a mistake, but it is not a hanging offence, another time try something different.

This may sound rather too theoretical. What I can say however, is that, without being particularly nice, I have always found this mindset to be a positive factor in creating a positive collective dynamic, and also in personal matters, notably by reducing the negative effects of unpleasantness. By minimizing the severity of the knocks we receive in life, it makes us more resilient, surely a vital quality to possess in these times when zero tolerance of just about anything is the rule.

[Orph]

Yeah, well, ..... screw everybody. I'm going to be myself and if you want to hate on me because I'm nice then that's on you. I'm not spiritual. I don't go around saying "peace, bliss, all is love" or other crap like that.

And yes, if you kick me in the shin, of course I'm going to be pissed off. But overall, I'm going to be nice, civil, courteous, and give people the benefit of the doubt. By nature, I'm more nice guy and less ***hole. Maybe I should bitchslap some of you people and tell you to lighten up. Laugh a little more.

(Okay, how many of you got the irony and humor of my post?)
:laugh: :sarcastic: :sun:

[ExomatrixTV]

Imagine we have a (private or public) Project Avalon Forum Thread (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118833-Social-Experiment-...-Forum-Thread-Sharing-Saying-Only-Nice-Things) where only nice people are allowed to write only nice things to each-other .... and the moment it started most likely nobody joins the conversation ... as who decides he or she is actually "nice"? ... based upon what exactly? ... now I know what "nice" means to me personally and what is not nice for me ... but that assessment may differ to everyone else >>> so we face a paradox >>> as what you or I consider "nice" may offend someone else ;)


example:

I consider people who share their unfiltered perspectives as "nicer" than anyone "playing nice" ... sometimes being hilarious & satirical is super nice >>> meanwhile so many may not get that and totally disagree with me.


Big chance that any forum-thread where only (assumed) "nice people" may say only nice things is extremely predictable boring to me, maybe for some it is a "save h(e)aven" to rest their troubled Soul.

Sometimes I really need to hear, read & study "what is not nice for me" because that is how I see myself (spiritually) grow faster <<< and that is nice for me to be able to do that! :) ... So in essence everything is perspectives & perceptions.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[O Donna]

Two most currently commented threads on ‘Spirituality’ PA section:

Do you believe in God?
and
Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

One is a question and other, an answer/ statement.

Mash them, shall we?
Do you believe in God (s)? = “They call themselves the guardians of the Galaxy.”
Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise = “What a bunch of A-holes.”

_ZKZ_lQ5FWQ

A feeling I got :)

Have a great day :sun:

[ExomatrixTV]

I remember working for big company Leen Bakker (https://www.leenbakker.nl) (22 years ago) selling all kinds of carpets & living-room/kitchen & garden furniture/accessories ... not always the "best quality" and much more for people with a low income ... needless to say after years of experience I was well aware of the flaws of the company products ...

You know why I was the best salesmen (head of anything that has to do with carpets) also helping other parts of the big store .... I was the bestseller, not because I was "nice" towards my company I worked for, I was selling more than anyone else becauseI told the truth ... why certain products are sht ... and may not last long ... many cheap products (mostly imported from China) have no long-term value and I just explained why I know all of that ... I saw (among others) how many people returned the product with complaints.

Then building trust with our customers who were comparing prices with other competitive companies to make a decision ... paying a bit more or paying less ... Part of Leen Bakker (https://www.leenbakker.nl) assortment/inventory can be more expensive but has much better quality ... By being brutally honest towards our customers colleagues assumed I had a "mid life crisis" ... which is hilarious as I was the best salesmen for a specific reason!

I told the highest manager to replace some of the carpets with more expensive ones (reading their internal catalogue) and let me do the talking ... within months they sold more that 1 million euros extra per year because of it.

So being "blunt and/or rude" (not being nice) towards the company I worked for was key to build trust with the customers ... some of them repeatedly told my colleagues working in the store that they only want to be helped by me.

This experience is one of many examples that shows that "playing nice" versus allegedly being "rude" or "blunt" has its own rewards!


on a side-note: anything that was & is "more expensive" was & is still cheaper than the vast majority of competitive company selling similar products.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[ExomatrixTV]

Social Experiment ... Forum Thread Sharing & Saying Only Nice Things (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?118833-Social-Experiment-...-Forum-Thread-Sharing-Saying-Only-Nice-Things)

[O Donna]

In a sense being nice often functions as a bubble. Nice and mimic nice, superficially undifferentiated.

Bubbles operate like blinders. Firing squads use blinders. Prisoners are often blindfolded, particularly in groups.

'Politically correct' has an agenda that goes far beyond a governing body wanting its citizens to play nice.

It can be a set up for future operations of those that created the PC bubble to begin with. Making all potential sitting ducks. Not an advantageous position to be in the world today.
The altruistic part of me believes many on PA use their efforts to inform others in a kind of 'watch your six'.

Have this lithograph framed in the hallway. A reminder that no matter how intelligent, we all have a six even when believing our head is on a swivel and see 360.

https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/pict/273370017533_/Michael-Bedard-Sitting-Duck-SIGNED-DOODLE-Lithograph.jpg
1982 SITTING DUCK LITHO BY MICHAEL BEDARD

[Open Minded Dude]

Would be interesting what Asian culture (Chinese, Japanese, etc.) people have to say about this because the niceness and politeness is ingrained in their cultural interactions.

There is even a whole sociological concept called 'face' (loose face, keep face). I heard about it many years ago when I studied Linguistics because it also has to do with language / communication a lot, of course.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(sociological_concept))

In Asia many people act 'nicely' and politely on principle so that they do not make others lose their 'face' and also keep their own 'face'.

As said, if there are any Asian people here who read this I would be interested in your input here.

[pueblo]

Kindness over niceties all day long. :handshake:

[Snoweagle]

Be truthful in all things, niceness will follow.

[Michi]

There is another important aspect to "being nice":
It's the field of coaching. A "nice" coach wouldn't get anywhere and instead, actually would let the client down and prevent him achieving the goal.
So, often a tough coach is depicted as a complete **hole.

Look at some videos of Anthony Robbins where he adresses a sucidial person in the crowd.
Then you get a good view how to be "nice" in the correct way.
It has a lot to do with "caring" and making the other stronger.

[Bill Ryan]

It has a lot to do with "caring" and making the other stronger.Excellent, thanks. That's a very useful angle on all this.

If we have a goal to always make the other [spiritually] stronger (and maybe wiser as well, as in responding to a bully or an aggressor), then we each have an internal menu of possible ways of presenting ourselves. That can range from being kind and empathetic to any form of "tough love".

The latter can extend to something that may seem violent (verbally or physically), as in "teaching someone a lesson" that we hope they may learn.

But sometimes, instead of reacting ourselves, we should maybe reach out to understand the context of the other person's terrible behavior. Here's a famous true story (https://www.cfos3.com/the-man-on-the-subway/) recounted by author Stephen Covey (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey).

:heart:

I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.

Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt like was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what do think, and I guess they don’t know who to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.

[O Donna]

It has a lot to do with "caring" and making the other stronger.Excellent, thanks. That's a very useful angle on all this.

If we have a goal to always make the other [spiritually] stronger (and maybe wiser as well, as in responding to a bully or an aggressor), then we each have an internal menu of possible ways of presenting ourselves. That can range from being kind and empathetic to any form of "tough love".

The latter can extend to something that may seem violent (verbally or physically), as in "teaching someone a lesson" that we hope they may learn.

But sometimes, instead of reacting ourselves, we should maybe reach out to understand the context of the other person's terrible behavior. Here's a famous true story (https://www.cfos3.com/the-man-on-the-subway/) recounted by author Stephen Covey (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey).

:heart:

I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.

Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt like was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what do think, and I guess they don’t know who to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.


Thank you for sharing that experience, Bill. Great reminder. Reminder of what? Depends on where the reader, the observer is.

David Foster Wallace‘s 2005 commencement speech to the graduating class at Kenyon College with his amazing observation and writing skills touches on this throughout.

The whole speech is worth reflecting on. Adding just a snippet here for brevity:


......and if I don’t make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I’m gonna be pissed and miserable every time I have to shop. Because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me. About MY hungriness and MY fatigue and MY desire to just get home, and it’s going to seem for all the world like everybody else is just in my way. And who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are, and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line. And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is.

Speech and video are worth visiting from time-to-time.

eC7xzavzEKY

Transcript (https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/)

“This is water.”

“This is water.”

[ian33]

..being nice is just one of the ways we learn to attract attention as children
of course being naughty is also effective
being clever/talented, or being funny are popular too
i believe what works as children continues to be employed in adult life where it gets perfected
personally, clever, naughty and funny was my thing..worked really well at school...
the common link is gaining attention for our inner needy child

[Mari]

..being nice is just one of the ways we learn to attract attention as children
of course being naughty is also effective
being clever/talented, or being funny are popular too
i believe what works as children continues to be employed in adult life where it gets perfected
personally, clever, naughty and funny was my thing..worked really well at school...
the common link is gaining attention for our inner needy child


Oh yes, I concur with that one. I learned as a child to be 'nice' in order to keep the parental and societal wolves at bay. I was a 'yes' person. I used deprecating humour to get out of dodgy situations (bullying) and I was rather good at that.

In my middle years I woke up to the fact that a lot of the people around me acted 'nice' but their actions betrayed them, and like my old self, they were simply hiding a lot of 'rejection' pain.
These days, I've learned to speak my mind when called for and damn the consequences :boink: and I found that by doing so, I was giving permission for the recipient to be their own authentic self if they chose to do so. It opens an honest dialogue between people, sans veneer.

[Michel Leclerc]

I remember working for big company

(...)

So being "blunt and/or rude" (not being nice) towards the company I worked for was key to build trust with the customers ... some of them repeatedly told my colleagues working in the store that they only want to be helped by me.

(...)



A contrasting story, John.
In the first years of this millennium, a new client for my communication coaching told me that after joining his then employer (my company’s customer) he had been working as a salesman of IT peripherals and accessoires over the telephone. “That must have been quite fascinating”, I replied.
“Well, the stuff I sold was actually crap you know”, he then admitted. “Really”, I said, “why did you sell it then?”
He had this puzzled look on his face and answered “Well, they didn’t have to buy it after all..”

(The blueprint for our vaccine snake oil sales reps!)

[Michel Leclerc]

Another story, more about the "goodness" of people.

My friend and I travelled to Istanbul in 1999. Luc spoke fluent Turkish and knew the town very well. He showed me around. We had planned to buy a leather jacket each and so we went to the gigantic covered market in the old town.

Like all tourists we were continuously invited by sales people to have a look at their merchandise whenever we loitered a little more slowly in front of a leatherware or clothes' shop. We politely declined and just continued our visit, often happily distracted by whatever caught our attention. Then, after maybe two hours or so, we happened to inspect with more interest the leather jackets in one shop window of a comparatively small shop. All the jackets shown were of good quality, designed with good taste and sharing a visibly excellent stitching finish. Prices were discreetly attached. Nobody invited us in. So we decided to enter the shop.

We were welcomed with kindness and a conversation started about our wishes and tastes, partially in Turkish with Luc, and in English and German with me. We were offered the obligatory cup of tea.. and kept talking with the two salesmen, who were the actual owners of the manufacturing workshop, about tastes and models and leather quality etc. We finally decided, both Luc and I, for a specific jacket each among the two or three that had reached our respective short lists. Having taken good notice of the prices on the tags, we added aloud the two amounts and proceeded to pay the sum total while the jackets were put into sober quality plastic bags.

We said goodbye, thanking each other for the excellent hour spent, the tea and good custom. Then the younger salesman said: "Sirs if I may add something: I have noticed that you did not bargain on the price mentioned on the price tag. In that you are exceptional, I must admit because all tourists bargain. You see: my father and I have made a special promise to Allah that we would always make the best possible quality of leather jackets and ask a totally honest price for this quality — and it seems to us that you have made a special promise to Allah that you would only buy clothes of genuinely good quality and that you would pay the price that is asked for it with honesty. And because of both our promises we have spent a good time buying and selling and are happy, you about your purchase, and we about our work.”

God, or good, is the only guarantor of trade.

[Vicus]

Would be interesting what Asian culture (Chinese, Japanese, etc.) people have to say about this because the niceness and politeness is ingrained in their cultural interactions.

There is even a whole sociological concept called 'face' (loose face, keep face). I heard about it many years ago when I studied Linguistics because it also has to do with language / communication a lot, of course.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(sociological_concept))

In Asia many people act 'nicely' and politely on principle so that they do not make others lose their 'face' and also keep their own 'face'.

As said, if there are any Asian people here who read this I would be interested in your input here.


In South America we speak Spanish with differentes accents and...tones, Argentinos speak very much louder and "aggressive" for the another's latinos...

when people from Ecuador/Bolivia/Peru/Paraguay talk to us is like: mi mi mi mim...? and we WHAT?

This people talk not only too smooth but with too many diminutives : pan (bread) pancito...poco (little bit) poquito etc.

Once I saw a video where somebody try to explain why is so ...

His conclusion's was that after centuries Spanish domination they adopted this "submissive" way to avoid retaliation...

Just to "remember", Argentina kick out the "invaders", therefore got another self awareness... :muscle:

[Johnnycomelately]

Would be interesting what Asian culture (Chinese, Japanese, etc.) people have to say about this because the niceness and politeness is ingrained in their cultural interactions.

There is even a whole sociological concept called 'face' (loose face, keep face). I heard about it many years ago when I studied Linguistics because it also has to do with language / communication a lot, of course.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(sociological_concept))

In Asia many people act 'nicely' and politely on principle so that they do not make others lose their 'face' and also keep their own 'face'.

As said, if there are any Asian people here who read this I would be interested in your input here.


In South America we speak Spanish with differentes accents and...tones, Argentinos speak very much louder and "aggressive" for the another's latinos...

when people from Ecuador/Bolivia/Peru/Paraguay talk to us is like: mi mi mi mim...? and we WHAT?

This people talk not only too smooth but with too many diminutives : pan (bread) pancito...poco (little bit) poquito etc.

Once I saw a video where somebody try to explain why is so ...

His conclusion's was that after centuries Spanish domination they adopted this "submissive" way to avoid retaliation...

Just to "remember", Argentina kick out the "invaders", therefore got another self awareness... :muscle:

Very cool, Vicus. Have never heard that angle on social evolution.

We hear about the ancient Romans having produced great orators, but maybe EVERYBODY was loud when the empire was around. ~8)

[Mashika]

There is another important aspect to "being nice":
It's the field of coaching. A "nice" coach wouldn't get anywhere and instead, actually would let the client down and prevent him achieving the goal.
So, often a tough coach is depicted as a complete **hole.

Look at some videos of Anthony Robbins where he adresses a sucidial person in the crowd.
Then you get a good view how to be "nice" in the correct way.
It has a lot to do with "caring" and making the other stronger.

Reminds me of this :ROFL:...

Ddjtb324kRs

:ninja:

[Mashika]

Would be interesting what Asian culture (Chinese, Japanese, etc.) people have to say about this because the niceness and politeness is ingrained in their cultural interactions.

There is even a whole sociological concept called 'face' (loose face, keep face). I heard about it many years ago when I studied Linguistics because it also has to do with language / communication a lot, of course.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Face_(sociological_concept))

In Asia many people act 'nicely' and politely on principle so that they do not make others lose their 'face' and also keep their own 'face'.

As said, if there are any Asian people here who read this I would be interested in your input here.

Believe this is pertinent to your comment about "face" in Asian countries. Bushido is a big part of it, but more like the concept you talk about came out of Bushido or a related/similar concept at some point. In other asian countries it exists in some form or other. It's not just Japanese specific, it's just an asian thing, in general, but it has been constantly removed across decades in most countries, because of what this video explains

Why BUSHIDO Is The Root of All Social Problems in Japan
mJuVUnouo6E

[ExomatrixTV]

Maybe am wrong ... but I can sense superfast when somebody is only "nice" to me because he or she wants to sell me something I have to pay for ... even when it is not yet obvious ... I call it: "meeting a human with a plastic smile" ... Some let their "work" continue in their private lives even when they do not have to do it but do it anyway.

https://www.agoodwaytothink.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Fake-Smile.jpg
It becomes like a permanent 24/7 behavior template ... Not realizing, they mess up real connections with new potential friends ... People who are like that will only be satisfied if you go along with their way of thinking & reasoning using often NLP techniques or something similar to lead you to a certain direction/goal to make more profit ... Even when it was "not intended" they somehow always find excuses (like an addict) to sell you something at the end of the day that you have to pay for.


Needless to say I am extremely allergic to that kind of behavior.

When I feel/sense that in someone doing that to me ... I will confront that person with a simple question: "Is there something you want me pay for" saying it in a 100% neutral way >>> not assuming one way or the other ... Because most of them who behave like what I just described are so eager to have a "score" they may interpret that as "am interested" ... But that is not why I ask the question ... The result is that Yes or No helps me to understand their true motives.

When he or she says "yes" I will respectfully decline and all of a sudden that type of person often does not feel the need to be "nice" anymore! ... When he or she says "no" to my question and stays nice afterwards, then I have to admit I was wrong in my assumption.

cheers,
John Kuhles aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 20th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳

[ExomatrixTV]

This very insightful forum thread started/initiated by @Mashika (https://projectavalon.net/forum4/member.php?45714-Mashika) has now over 4400+ visits in just 6 days ... normally that amount takes weeks!

:Avalon:

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[onawah]

For several years when I was living in California, I attended classes at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, and had readings from the psychics who were on the staff there.
They taught techniques that were especially helpful for people like me who are empaths and at least somewhat psychic, including grounding energy, clearing chakas and auras of
unwanted energy, transmitting healing energy, reading other people, that sort of thing.
They were all very good tools to have, and I came away feeling much more confident, grounded, and with a better understanding of myself and how to interact with others.

I think that people who are always trying so hard to be "nice" are very much in need of such tools.
It seems like they are trying to compensate for a deficiency in knowing how to manage their own energy and state of mind.

Another thing that the BPI teachers emphasized was what they called "staying neutral".
At first I thought it was identical to what the Buddhists call "detachment", and it's similar in some ways, though not identical.
(I've known a lot of Buddhists, and have practiced Zen meditation myself.)

Staying neutral is a combination of those techniques listed above, which when done correctly, enable the practicioner to remain in a clear, calm, open and even-minded state, able to deal with others in a way that keeps the interactions clean.
Which doesn't necessarily register on other people as being "nice", but certainly as pleasant, reasonable and approachable,
And a lot more genuine and sincere than what often passes for "nice", which can actually be a mask for something much different.

[ExomatrixTV]

When a true empath can sense when someone is lying to oneself ... "playing nice" about that makes you complicit in the prolonging of the (eventually) harmful self-deception ... we all have the power to connect to core-being (true-self) hiding behind the mask (role-play & belief systems) people use to survive ... Asking the right questions may trigger a cascade effect to those who need to brake free from the (self-imposed) conditioning.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

[Mashika]

For several years when I was living in California, I attended classes at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, and had readings from the psychics who were on the staff there.
They taught techniques that were especially helpful for people like me who are empaths and at least somewhat psychic, including grounding energy, clearing chakas and auras of
unwanted energy, transmitting healing energy, reading other people, that sort of thing.
They were all very good tools to have, and I came away feeling much more confident, grounded, and with a better understanding of myself and how to interact with others.

I think that people who are always trying so hard to be "nice" are very much in need of such tools.
It seems like they are trying to compensate for a deficiency in knowing how to manage their own energy and state of mind.

Another thing that the BPI teachers emphasized was what they called "staying neutral".
At first I thought it was identical to what the Buddhists call "detachment", and it's similar in some ways, though not identical.
(I've known a lot of Buddhists, and have practiced Zen meditation myself.)

Staying neutral is a combination of those techniques listed above, which when done correctly, enable the practicioner to remain in a clear, calm, open and even-minded state, able to deal with others in a way that keeps the interactions clean.
Which doesn't necessarily register on other people as being "nice", but certainly as pleasant, reasonable and approachable,
And a lot more genuine and sincere than what often passes for "nice", which can actually be a mask for something much different.

I am not a 'nice' person, but i find that i also fit this category
" trying to compensate for a deficiency in knowing how to manage their own energy and state of mind"

That's an odd thing, and i think it could even be a complete thread on its own, a very humanly complex one :)

Your view of this issue is very interesting, thank you! :) "There is always a path"

:heart2::heart2::heart2:

[Mashika]

When a true empath can sense when someone is lying to oneself ... "playing nice" about that makes you complicit in the prolonging of the (eventually) harmful self-deception ... we all have the power to connect to core-being (true-self) hiding behind the mask (role-play & belief systems) people use to survive ... Asking the right questions may trigger a cascade effect to those who need to brake free from the (self-imposed) conditioning.

cheers,
John 🦜🦋🌳

An issue with breaking some people apart in a way, is that you get attached somehow, to their future lives. If you started a process of change, then you must see it through, but can you? It's a very draining activity in life, to constantly 'be there' for a person that is going through extreme life changes that you caused, so a lot of people just simply skip or don't even try in the first place. Kind of like vicious cycle i guess (i won't tell you how to avoid being 'fake' nice because i can't be bothered with the effort, but i wish you would not be 'fake nice')?

And if you break them apart by showing them a new reality, they will need lots and lots of support. It's the entire reality carpet has been swept away in an instance. So those people can't stand on their own without help, and who's going to give them that help? None other than the source of the carpet sweeping :bigsmile:

[Mashika]

Maybe am wrong ... but I can sense super fast when somebody is only "nice" to me because he or she wants to sell me something I have to pay for ... even when it is not yet obvious ... I call it: "meeting a human with a plastic smile" ... Some let their "work" continue in their private lives even when they do not have to do it but do it anyway.

https://www.agoodwaytothink.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Fake-Smile.jpg

It becomes like a permanent 24/7 behavior template ... Not realizing they mess up real connections with new potential friends ... People who are like that will only be satisfied if you go along with their way of thinking & reasoning using often NLP techniques or something similar to lead you to a certain direction/goal to make more profit ... Even when it was "not intended" they somehow always find excuses (like an addict) to sell you something at the end of the day that you have to pay for.


Needless to say I am extremely allergic to that kind of behavior.

When I feel/sense that in someone doing that to me ... I will confront that person with a simple question: "Is there something you want me pay for" saying it in a 100% neutral way >>> not assuming one way or the other ... Because most of them who behave like what I just described are so eager to have a "score" they may interpreted that as "am interested" ... But that is not why I ask the question ... The result is that Yes or No helps me to understand their true motives.

When he or she says "yes" I will respectfully decline and all of a sudden that type of person often does not feel the need to be "nice" anymore! ... When he or she says "no" to my question and stays nice afterwards, then I have to admit I was wrong in my assumption.

cheers,
John Kuhles aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 20th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳

It should be illegal to post pictures like that lmao! Why can't i stop laughing at that? Now i'm upset, i think 80% of the world does that, it's affecting me! lmao

:HELP!::happythumbsup:

[palehorse]

Maybe am wrong ... but I can sense super fast when somebody is only "nice" to me because he or she wants to sell me something I have to pay for ... even when it is not yet obvious ... I call it: "meeting a human with a plastic smile" ... Some let their "work" continue in their private lives even when they do not have to do it but do it anyway.

https://www.agoodwaytothink.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Fake-Smile.jpg

It becomes like a permanent 24/7 behavior template ... Not realizing they mess up real connections with new potential friends ... People who are like that will only be satisfied if you go along with their way of thinking & reasoning using often NLP techniques or something similar to lead you to a certain direction/goal to make more profit ... Even when it was "not intended" they somehow always find excuses (like an addict) to sell you something at the end of the day that you have to pay for.


Needless to say I am extremely allergic to that kind of behavior.

When I feel/sense that in someone doing that to me ... I will confront that person with a simple question: "Is there something you want me pay for" saying it in a 100% neutral way >>> not assuming one way or the other ... Because most of them who behave like what I just described are so eager to have a "score" they may interpreted that as "am interested" ... But that is not why I ask the question ... The result is that Yes or No helps me to understand their true motives.

When he or she says "yes" I will respectfully decline and all of a sudden that type of person often does not feel the need to be "nice" anymore! ... When he or she says "no" to my question and stays nice afterwards, then I have to admit I was wrong in my assumption.

cheers,
John Kuhles aka 'ExomatrixTV'
June 20th, 2022 🦜🦋🌳


LOL

perfect, exactly how it happens to me, that's one way to make them drop their mask pretty quickly.. one time a woman became quite aggressive over me, since she was a multi-level marketing sales person and she was trying to persuade me to get under her sponsorship offering free **** and saying how smart I was and bla bla bla, I just pointed out she was into a pyramid scheme, that was when she cringed and showed her teeth.

[Open Minded Dude]

We can still have arguments and be nice and spiritual at the same time. Takes some time to practice it but it is possible. Here is a lesson by two spiritual pros on how you do it:

eayO3D99nGQ

[O Donna]

We can still have arguments and be nice and spiritual at the same time. Takes some time to practice it but it is possible. Here is a lesson by two spiritual pros on how you do it:

eayO3D99nGQ

Funny.

They should do one of these using other forms of communication like where the interaction takes place, body language, facial expressions, and silence because it's not ALL about the words.


Not all words fit to their meanings. Sometimes what is said is not what is meant and what is meant is left unsaid - Unknown

[Agape]

Well and then there’s the one about “Be Happy”.

I’ve recently pin pointed this deceptive dot that many people and “life guides” copied from somebody and use it nearly as “guru mantra” literally deceiving themselves and others in their heart, hurting each other’s truth sense much as possible and their own.

Of course there are many kinds of happiness in human life and countless sorrows.

The socialist-capitalist paradigm ( believe me it’s ultimately one and the same assorted paradigm) led many people to close their eyes from reality state of matters surrounding them, tolerating minor to vast amount of social evils and injustice and seeking “happiness within you”.
Further on ,”being happy within yourself” simply leads to ignoring not only other people’s problems but your own life problems as well
while in most cases, at least some of them could be addressed and sorted that’s unless you’ve declared yourself “happy with it”.

I don’t think that the state of happiness can be copied from outside or socially learned from others, if so it isn’t true state of happiness.

Happiness manifests from within for sure as sense of resonance with larger reality surrounding us or as a response to true achievements and manifestation of skills and virtues ,
to be called “true happiness” , even if it lasts for a moment.

With growing life experience one should not stop and dwell on that state or become attached to it for a long time .

Becoming attached to “state of happiness” led many people astray from their missions, life truths , reality, pure intentions and so forth to loops and “happiness seeking spirals”. From alcohol, drugs, sex and food addictions, fashionable disorders of all kinds to lives lost in wilderness people have blindly followed the same instruction so many modern “gurus” have passed on about “Be Happy”.

From living with their own imaginations to disharmonious and artificial relationships of many kinds, forever denying rights to their truth sense and intelligence that certainly does know there are “errors in their systems” which not getting fixed will lead to even more destructive circumstances in life,
people insist on the placebo pill and sweetener and “declarations of happiness” with their bosses, their children , their friends who often can’t believe each other anymore so why talking about it if no one is “happy” but everyone has to declare themselves such,
and better as often as possible.

No, I do not advise mourning and frowning as a way or being constantly complainful about yourself but in order to walk our way to future,
to process a piece of work or even to achieve genuine moment of happiness ,
sobriety and modest effort are necessary.
Sometimes even extraordinary effort and work are necessary in order to repair errors, wounds inflicted upon us by human destiny or “Mother Nature” and by that again I don’t mean that we don’t deserve weekends or should die of overwork.

But in general: you may observe that everyone who has achieved “the right fix” on this planet did get results after troubling their minds incessantly for many years if not life time and despite confusions and obstacles,
not by reclining on sofa and imagining they’ve got everything “done”.

For sure, there are those who were born to situations of greater advantage against others and those who experienced unperturbed childhood and state of happiness was granted to them all the way through before they grew up and they were even taught to hide “their happiness” behind sweet smiles or stern faces, pretty cloths of whatever brand or vagabond appearances protecting them from social envy,
they go around self confident and tell us to be the same,
smartly deceptive and “inwardly Happy” but since most of them know little about value of human life, as long as they feel protected from life threatening illness and depravity what kind of “jobs” can those people offer
in their “Chocolate factory” for happiness ?

Not all of them are kind and compassionate and very few take care to complete at least few education levels to brush their discernment of reality.

Some “rich and happy” people can be in fact, extremely dull and negligent concerning basic life matters because their money will “always fix it” for them no matter what happens.

In short ..I talked to my own heart the other day and pointed this out clearly for myself:

from even one point of wrong mantra a cascade of deception , deeper depression, social guilt arises. No I’m not “happy” of any kind with my situation lasting for good few years and I was verbally, sometimes physically forced to consent to someone’s else’s “being happy” inductions and so I walk around with progressing heart disease that could result in failure at any time.
No I don’t feel “happy” about any of it and only crooked person would.

No I don’t need “heart replacement”, “mind replacement” or a “hug” especially not from a dog 😀

I’m not outwardly depressed or desperate unless people would try to stick their fingers to that pin hole and try if “it works” just because I’m not artificially excited or entertained.

Then I felt something real in my physical heart organ ( I’m talking about) as if the “pinch hole” closed and I saw smooth oblong shaped muscle for a second and fell completely the same like years back, illness free.
For sure I’m not very excitable person -naturally- I prefer calms , no loud music and laser lights and violence in movies and all the extravaganza of this modern world,

I like to laugh a lot too with good friends but hate sarcasms and bullying and evil laughter.

So I can’t be this eras poster child because it takes so much emotion to take in and I’ve tried my best to uptake as much of it as I could but it can’t go any further.

But as I have said, I’ve never needed “heart replacement” and would not accept one in case of emergency : organ transplantation can not be done to you without your consent.

Should it not be the same about “intelligence and emotional” transplantation and inductions, or influencing of some of today’s “life gurus” ,

none of it had a positive , life progressive meaning in my life. No consent.

No consent to their wild imaginations and “disability from truth” and deceptive fears they propagate and invented confessions they have readied for each other long ago,
to save their “state of happiness” by another trick just in case the old tricks fail.


Genuine people including thinkers, inventors , may be even ETs ( no pun intended ) may seem to be few in today’s human society but if you look under the artificial social “Happy cover” we are the multitudes :)


Be who you are I pray 🙏🌟🙏


In the state of human and personal disasters,
it’s normal for spiritual person to be concerned,
to be sad, to cry,

forcing others to “laugh in front of you”,
including your children or put on a smile
is real bad.

Don’t try to borrow and steal your life force from others in order to accomplish your life tasks.

Genuine accomplishments and prowess come naturally from within.

True happiness so often is free of emotion
and it most certainly does not laugh at the rest who have fallen
and it does not send “others to hell”.

Perhaps I associate the state of true happiness with wisdom
but consider a matter of fact that British linguistics and mind programming is not the only way this world operates or going to operate in future even if it seems to serve our communications so well.

Or whatever you wish to consider
be happy.

Tell that to your worst enemies in distress 😅


🙏

[ExomatrixTV]

Jordan Peterson - How to Overcome Resentment:

X-EJpW6ZzJ0
Dr. Jordan B Peterson talks about the negative emotions in people. He explains why is it important to pay attention to our negative emotions. He also elaborates that these emotions are very informative and carry messages that we must not ignore.

[xidaijena]

Thanks for sharing.
I think I AM NOT KIND but VERY BAD OR EVIL in somehow.

:blackwidow:

I like this meme. So cool!

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/225357561_537058910945173_1964636019346529020_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=XuzqoVF4is4AX_gLjQJ&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AT8iMB8-nfOFfFIbHnfyX5dlFUjlnQChir0NZSZirh5erg&oe=62B969A1

MY AWESOME PE TEACHER

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/220439241_537059910945073_8844014140794458693_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=QrnnBzGNzGIAX-71yB7&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AT-pm1iL6dTLdO_ngRkOZOzvoF0HMkBMgoKyMhPM7Sq6vQ&oe=62B8D00B

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/224511198_537060077611723_4953821907637036852_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=aklshiO6u2MAX_1ijMd&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AT9Rsl-ZfdzLVYVZhUmdKbxlhuwI8b4BxL9vufpAiKTw2A&oe=62B9AE49

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/220266686_537059254278472_2055486185368466979_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=vgGT25HRu_oAX9N_y6A&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AT-WMMxmcVSEgnYkFSgC9WlmfdiZkwR03SxB68o6-q_fJg&oe=62BA5B3C

~~~~~~~~~

There is an old saying: Women shall be soft as the water.
But in my opinion, I would like to be strong as a killer.

https://tva3.sinaimg.cn/large/002RVCDwgy1guxbqurs1kj60dw0kt3zt02.jpg

https://s.studiobinder.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/The-Matrix-Script-Teardown-Featured-StudioBinder.jpg

FIGHT WITH EVIL , DARKNESS AND WOLF.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

好人（善人）坏人（恶人）的标准


The Standards of Good (Kind) People and Bad (Evil) People



Xuefeng


(Translated by Tongxin and Edited by Kaer)



好人（善人）的标准
凡给他人带来开心、快乐、自由、幸福的人就是好人（善人）。
凡引导他人走向上帝之道的人就是好人（善人）。
凡帮助他人度过困境的人就是好人（善人）。
凡促使他人关系和谐和睦的人就是好人（善人）。
凡爱惜、爱护生命和大自然的人就是好人（善人）。
凡促使人类走向和平、统一、繁荣、昌盛的人就是好人（善人）。
凡能自食其力不给他人带来烦恼和痛苦的人就是好人（善人）。
凡引导他人走向美好未来的人就是好人（善人）。



The Standards of Good (Kind) People:



· All those who bring joy, happiness, freedom, and blessings to others are good (kind) people.

· All those who lead others to the way of the Greatest Creator are good (kind) people.

· All those who help others to get through difficulties are good (kind) people.

· All those who promote others into good and harmonious relationships are good (kind) people.

· All those who love and cherish nature and LIFE are good (kind) people.

· All those who promote human beings toward the directions of peace, union, and prosperity are good (kind) people.

· All those who can live independently but do not bring troubles or pain to others are good (kind) people.

· All those who lead others to a wonderful future are good (kind) people.

坏人（恶人）的标准
凡给他人带来烦恼、痛苦、焦虑、恐惧的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡引导他人走向魔鬼之道的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡导致他人进入困境的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡伤害生命和大自然的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡阻断他人美好前程的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡把自己的意志强加于人的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡制造和传播是非的人就是坏人（恶人）。
凡促使人进入婚姻家庭和任何组织的人就是坏人（恶人）。




The Standards of Bad (Evil) People:



· All those who bring to others, troubles, pain, fear, and anxieties are bad (evil) people.

· All those who lead others to the way of the devil are bad (evil) people.

· All those who lead others into difficulties are bad (evil) people.

· All those who destroy nature and hurt life beings are bad (evil) people.

· All those who block others’ good futures are bad (evil) people.

· All those who impose their own wills upon others are bad (evil) people.

· All those who make and spread rumors are bad (evil) people.

· All those who urge others to enter into marriage, traditional families, or any organizations are bad (evil) people.



March 17, 2011

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

仅仅有好心是不行的，还必须有好的措施和方法，佛教、基督教的历史证明了这一点，佛教基督教只有好心，但没有设计出好的措施和方法。要达到开创生命禅院时代的目标，靠武力是行不通的，德国、日本等第三帝国的垮台就 是实证。靠一个阶级推翻另一个阶级的暴烈行动也不行，世界共产主义运动的失败证明了这一点。靠政教合一的强权统治扩张也行不通，伊斯兰世界的现状证明了这一点。靠辩论来辩论去投票形式的民主也行不通，联合国美国等 的状况证明了这一点。既要有统一意志，又要使每个个人心情舒畅，这才符合禅院理念。

　　面对一盘散沙的人类，我们如何使人们走向意志统一？首先，我们要明白，未来的人类时代百分之百是生命禅院时代，这是不依人们的主观意志而在发生的客观变化，任何人、任何组织、任何国家都阻挡不了这个发展趋势， 对此，我们禅院草推波助澜即可。

　　我们不用刀枪武器，不用到战场上去战斗，不用去流血牺牲，不用去吃苦受累，我们以玩“过家家游戏”的方式来实施。静静地坐下来，或站着，或躺着，或坐着来进行，不用出门去打斗，将隐患消灭在千里之外，清扫病毒 于无形之中。

Just having good intentions is not enough. There must also be good measures and methods. The history of Buddhism and Christianity has proved this. Buddhism and Christianity only have good intentions, but no good measures and methods have been designed. To achieve the goal of creating the age of Lifechanyuan, it is impossible to rely on force, and the collapse of the Third Reich such as Germany and Japan is the proof. Nor is it possible to rely on the violent actions of one class to overthrow another, as the failure of the world communist movement proves. The expansion of power rule by the unity of the state and religion will not work, and the current state of the Islamic world proves this. Democracy in the form of debate-to-debate-to-vote also doesn't work, as the situation at the United Nations, the United States, and others proves. Not only must there be a unified will, but also everyone must feel comfortable, which is in line with the philosophy of the Chanyuan.

In the face of human beings who are in a mess, how can we make people move towards unity of will? First of all, we must understand that the future human era is 100% the era of Lifechanyuan. This is an objective change that is taking place independent of people's subjective will. No one, any organization, or any country can stop this development trend. Grass can add fuel to the flames.

We don’t need guns and weapons, we don’t need to fight on the battlefield, we don’t need to shed blood, and we don’t need to endure hardships. Sit down quietly, or stand, or lie down, or sit and do it, without having to go out to fight, eliminate hidden dangers thousands of miles away, and clean up the virus invisibly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

超人风采只管前进
雪 峰


人生只是生命在人间的一次旅行，只是一场梦幻，是一场游戏，只有通达之人才能在这次旅行中不论是风和日丽还是沙尘漫天，不论旅途是阳关大道还是丛林小径，都能获得开心快乐自由幸福；只有神仙意识才能在这场梦幻中天 马行空，随心所欲；只有超人意志在这场游戏中潇洒自如，游刃有余，尽展生命风采。

尽展生命风采，不能唯唯诺诺，瞻前顾后；不能拖拖拉拉，徘徊彷徨；不能消极等待，左右观望；不能饱食终日，无所用心，而要积极奋发、扬蹄驰骋、彰显爱性、唯我独尊、星辰为我闪耀，山河为我开道，万物为我所用，世人 为我欢呼，不怕天崩地裂，不怕山河摇动，不怕尘俗喧嚣，不怕死亡降临。爱，就爱他个天翻地覆；恨，就恨他个江河断流；不留遗憾在人间，只愿来世去仙岛。

超人风采不当好人只有目标，不要企望在人间留下美名，不要企望人人都说自己好，不要企望周围人们能理解自己，不要企望天上掉下馅饼，什么都不存在，什么都是过眼云烟，什么都是阴阳对称，什么都是时过境迁，唯有上帝 、唯有意识、唯有当下、唯有超人意志。一旦季节来临，要及时绽放；一旦机缘来到，就不要错过；一旦遇上良机，就不要放过；一旦彩虹出现，要及时欣赏。

超人风采只管前进！不留恋逝去的岁月，不贪恋尘世所有，不回头张望，不左顾右盼，双眼紧盯着目标，前进！不畏惧山陡路险，不惧怕唇枪舌剑，不担忧身单影只，不顾虑饿死冻死，不达目的，誓不罢休！宁愿身心憔悴死在追 求阳光的路上，也不能憋死在阴暗的角落里。

超人意志唯开心快乐自由幸福真善美爱所求，不与无病呻吟者为伍，不与怨天尤人怨声载道者为伍，不与心机重重愁眉苦脸者为伍，不与萎靡不振妒忌埋怨者为伍，不与傻子疯子浑人精神心理有病者为伍，不与寄生虫为伍，不与 消极颓废悲观厌世者为伍，不与弱不禁风胆小如鼠怕这怕那者为伍，不与玩世不恭声色犬马者为伍，却要与充满活力阳光人士一起，与精神饱满朝气蓬勃者一起，与风趣幽默聪颖智慧者一起，与雄心勃勃壮志凌云者一起，与有爱 有情有信有义者一起，与意志坚强不屈不挠者一起，与心灵同频共振能常常带来开心快乐者一起，与前程似锦有无限美好未来的人一起。

“死人的事让死人去处理。”倒下的让他去倒下，衰落的就让它衰落，凋零的就随它去凋零，没出息的就让它慢慢地逝去。人生旅途本来就坎坷不平，就需要每一个同旅者相互鼓励互送能量，“哀莫大于心死，”只要心不死，会 峰回路转柳暗花明，若心已死，不要去管了，就让其随秋风落叶一起飘逝。

超人不是傻子，傻子不是超人！超人不是莽汉，莽汉不是超人！超人不是魔鬼，魔鬼不是超人！超人不是愣头青，愣头青不是超人！超人是天底下最有头脑的人，是带领人向着充满阳光的最美好时代和天国仙境前行的人，是真善 美爱诚信的化身，但绝对不是假恶丑恨奸邪呆笨没出息俗人凡人的替身。

怎么活都是一辈子，与其凄凄哀哀苟且偷生一辈子，不如堂堂正正活力四射一辈子；与其哀怨埋怨痛苦不安一辈子，不如积极奋发阳光灿烂一辈子；与其被软弱无能私欲重重者缠绕一辈子，不如抛下包袱去自我挥洒一辈子；与其 担忧恐惧怕这怕那无所事事一辈子，不如开拓空间在自由天地潇洒飘逸一辈子；与其去随声附和鱼龙混杂一辈子，不如鲤鱼跳龙门向天国攀登跋涉一辈子。

让人们站在我们的背影里去评论、去指责、去侮辱、去忌妒、去愤恨、去追悔、去哭泣、去倒下、去死亡，我们，生命禅院的超人们，迎着新时代的曙光，向着我们心中美好的未来，向着天国千年界、万年界、极乐界仙岛群岛洲 奋勇攀登！

自由属于生命禅院禅院草！

幸福属于坚定不移走上帝之道的家园兄弟姐妹亲人情人们！


Google translate:

Superman style just move forward

Xuefeng


Life is just a journey of life in the world, it's just a dream, it's a game, only those who are well-versed can make this journey, whether it is sunny or full of dust, whether the journey is Yangguan Avenue or jungle trail, Everyone can be happy, free and happy; only the consciousness of the gods can be free and unrestrained in this dream; only the superhuman will can be free and easy in this game, and it can show its life style.

To show the style of life, you can't just follow your promises, look ahead and look back; you can't procrastinate, wandering and hesitating; you can't wait passively, wait and see; Mountains and rivers clear the way for me, all things are used by me, the world cheers for me, I am not afraid of the collapse of the sky, not afraid of the shaking of mountains and rivers, not afraid of the noise of the world, not afraid of death. If you love him, you will love him upside down; if you hate him, you will hate him if the rivers stop flowing; if you don't leave any regrets in the world, you only want to go to the immortal island in the next life.

Don't expect to be a good person in the world, don't expect everyone to say you are good, don't expect people around you to understand you, don't expect pie to fall from the sky, nothing exists, everything is fleeting , everything is yin and yang symmetry, everything is the passage of time, only God, only consciousness, only present, only superhuman will. Once the season comes, bloom in time; once the opportunity comes, don't miss it; once the opportunity comes, don't let it go; once the rainbow appears, appreciate it in time.

Superman style just move forward! Don't miss the past years, don't be greedy for everything in the world, don't look back, don't look left and right, keep your eyes fixed on the goal, move forward! Don't be afraid of steep mountains and dangerous roads, don't be afraid of arguing, don't worry about being alone, don't worry about starving to death and freezing to death, if you don't achieve your goals, you will never give up! I'd rather die physically and mentally haggard on the road in pursuit of the sun, than suffocate in a dark corner.

Superman's will is only to be happy, happy, free, happy, true, kind, and beautiful, not to associate with those who are groaning, not to be in the company of those who complain about heaven and others, not to be in the company of those who are scheming and frowning, not to be in the company of malaise, jealousy, and complainers, not to be in the company of fools, madmen Not with the sick, not with parasites, not with the passive, decadent, pessimistic, world-weary, not with the weak and timid, afraid of this and that, not with the cynical, but with the energetic and sunny people , with those who are full of energy, with those who are full of energy, with those who are witty, humorous, intelligent and wise, with those who are ambitious, with those with love, affection, faith and righteousness, with those who are strong-willed and indomitable, with the same frequency with the heart and can often With those who bring happiness and happiness, with those who have a bright future and an infinite bright future.

"Let the dead deal with the dead." Let the fallen let him fall, the fallen let him fall, the withered let it wither, and the unpromising let it pass away slowly. The journey of life is inherently bumpy, and every traveler needs to encourage each other and send energy to each other. "Sorrow is greater than death of the heart." As long as the heart does not die, the meeting will turn around. The autumn wind and the leaves drifted away together.

Superman is not a fool, and a fool is not Superman! Superman is not a reckless man, a reckless man is not a superman! Superman is not the devil, the devil is not Superman! Superman is not Lengtouqing, Lengtouqing is not Superman! Superman is the most intelligent person in the world. He is the one who leads people to the most beautiful era full of sunshine and the heavenly fairyland. substitute.

No matter how you live, it is a lifetime. It is better to live a lifetime of dignified vitality than to live a lifetime of misery and sorrow. Instead of worrying and fearing that there will be nothing to do for a lifetime, it is better to open up space in the free world to be unrestrained and elegant for a lifetime.

Let people stand in our backs to comment, blame, insult, envy, resent, regret, cry, fall, and die. We, the supermen of Lifechanyuan, welcome the dawn of a new era. , Towards the beautiful future in our hearts, and bravely climbs to the Millennium Realm, Ten Thousand Years Realm, and Xiandao Islands Continent of Elysium!

Freedom belongs to the grass of Lifechanyuan!

Happiness belongs to home brothers, sisters, loved ones, and lovers who steadfastly follow the Word of God!

[Bill Ryan]

I have a funny story to share. :)

As many may know, when I was in the UK I used to run week-long personal development and leadership training workshops for corporations. And I had a small team of friends who used to work with me on these, co-facilitating. It was often quite a bunch of freewheeling, inspiring fun.

I had a new contract with a particular company, starting with a trial week's program, so this one was particularly important to go well.

One young woman, named Sulwen, usually highly reliable, responsible and capable — and a very nice person! — was scheduled to work with me on this program. But the very preceding weekend, she'd been on a personal development workshop of her own, which was called Creative Aggression. :)

When she turned up on the Monday morning, she was just smoldering. She looked like she'd swallowed a bunch of hand grenades, all with the pins out. She was ready to explode at any moment.

And then, our client drove up. OMG. His name was Gerry. Sulwen had never met him.

Gerry, an equally nice person, greeted me with a warm hello, and then outstretched his hand to Sulwen, who had a face as black as thunder.

"Hi there, pleased to meet you", said Gerry.

Sulwen glowered at him. "**** OFF", she said.

I looked for somewhere to hide. Sulwen looked ready to punch him in the face. Gerry, our new client, with our quarter-million pound contract at stake, looked stunned.

Sulwen and Gerry stared at each other like boxers before a big fight. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

"Well, YOU **** off", said Gerry.

And then they both dissolved into laughter. The week's course went perfectly, and we got the contract. Gerry and Sulwen became the greatest of friends, and Gerry made a special request for Sulwen to work on all their programs.
:ROFL: :happy dog:

[Harmony]

Your post #100 above Bill got me thinking of the many stories my old friend has told me over the years. She can swear so beautifully, just at the right time with the right stress where no other words would work half as well.


Then that got me thinking, how sometimes with all the most exasperating news lately, and I don’t usually find a need to swear that much at all, but the F’off seems to roll off my minds voice more often as I can not think of anything else to say now sometimes with all the talk of mandating the most outrageous things ever imaginable not so long ago.


Then I was thinking with all the folk about now that are fed up, if we ever end up in an old folks home or have a stroke, god forbid, and we need to use cards with words on them to communicate, we will just need a few cards with words like “off”, “yes,” “no” or “it” to go along with one big F card.:facepalm::biggrin:

[Mari]

Your post #100 above Bill got me thinking of the many stories my old friend has told me over the years. She can swear so beautifully, just at the right time with the right stress where no other words would work half as well.


Then that got me thinking, how sometimes with all the most exasperating news lately, and I don’t usually find a need to swear that much at all, but the F’off seems to roll off my minds voice more often as I can not think of anything else to say now sometimes with all the talk of mandating the most outrageous things ever imaginable not so long ago.


Then I was thinking with all the folk about now that are fed up, if we ever end up in an old folks home or have a stroke, god forbid, and we need to use cards with words on them to communicate, we will just need a few cards with words like “off”, “yes,” “no” or “it” to go along with one big F card.:facepalm::biggrin:


I'll make my own version of card, letters writ large, if I ever get in that situation...it's one of my current favourite expletives and It was recently explosively employed upon seeing yet another cretinous tabloid headline here in the UK, about how ordinary everyday things 'can give you a heart attack'. (covering up for the countless vaccine injuries and deaths in healthy adults and children which are getting embarrassingly numerous) .
In this particular case it was 'Gardening can give you a heart attack' (trying to divorce those pesky green-fingered die-hards from the land) I had no trouble whatsoever in coming out with hearty 'Piss-Off!' and then some, and it will be my go-to Card whenever they try to interfere with me, either on my doorstep or in a nursing home.

[Johnnycomelately]

Hey what about this, does it qualify? Anybody else agree that heroic deeds might merit some slack about garbage etc.? I think this story, as written, is a sad example of deluded perfectionist idealist prescriptionist dumbass hopium, a steaming pile of stinky sentiment, all four corners’ debris field of the crash of what was, once, our plane of excellence. Oof.

Edit to say, I very much appreciate and laud the man Nirmal Purja, ostensibly the spokesman/impetus for this story. Please read of his exploits to the various tops of this world, he is warp-drive compared to us normies.

https://www.climbing.com/news/k2-trash-garbage-waste-sickening/

“K2, the second-highest peak in the world, has remained relatively free of the commercial circus common on Mount Everest, but this year the number of climbers ballooned. Thus far in 2022, some 200 people reached the 28,251-foot summit, including a record-setting 145 people on a single day. Prior to this year, only about 300 people had summited the mountain, ever. This week we saw reports of another Everest-like occurrence on the mountain: heaps of trash.
A few days ago Nirmal Purja’s Nimsdai Foundation posted a video of the colorful carnage at camp two (21,980’). As dramatic strings play in the background, the camera pans across the steep snow slope to reveal dozens of flattened and shredded tents, ropes, pickets, and oxygen canisters. Nirmal Purja, who famously set the speed record for the world’s 14 highest peaks, led a team on the mountain this season and reported that he almost threw up from the smell. Among the refuse left behind is human waste, which doesn’t decompose at altitude and creates serious health risks, since climbers need to melt snow for drinking water.”

“The issue of trash on the world’s highest peaks isn’t new. Everest often gets referred to as the world’s highest landfill, and Outside has reported on the trash (and bodies) piling up every year. But the issue has historically been associated more strongly with Everest, in large part because of the huge crowds. The recent video was particularly jarring because K2 is climbed by far fewer people, because it is more technical and dangerous. Prior to this year, for every four climbers attempting the peak, one would die.
In response to the uproar following his by-then viral trash video, Purja added that the litter shouldn’t necessarily be perceived as malice. “If a climber is ill or struggling, they need to get down the mountains [sic] asap—they may die if they stay to pick up their gear,” he wrote. “Obviously, those climbers that can bring down rubbish, 100 percent should.””

“But that explanation can’t account for the entirety of the problem. Eric Gilbertson, an independent climber who summited without using supplemental oxygen, compared the situation to nearby Broad Peak in a post on an online forum: “I was surprised how much trash was in this camp given that the camps on Broad were generally clean. Both peaks had a similar number of climbers registered for permits and [camp one and camp two] on Broad were also small. The only difference I can think of is K2 has almost exclusively guided groups while Broad had a high percentage of independent groups. Perhaps independent groups clean up after themselves better and don’t leave old tents on the mountain? I’m not sure.”
Gilbertson might be onto something with that analysis. Adrian Ballinger, a professional climber, IFMGA guide, and owner of Alpenglow Expeditions, which leads trips on peaks from Everest to Aconcagua, weighed in: “I think the problem is inexperienced people led by inexperienced high-altitude workers led by inexperienced or unethical expedition leaders.”
In order to offer expedition climbs to clients at a lower price, some operators will opt not to Sherpa or high-altitude workers to pack out trash and gear. “Companies have told me that the reason they don’t bring things like tents down, is they can buy new tents from China that are cheaper than paying Sherpa to go up and do extra rotations and bring their equipment down,” Ballinger says.
Once that trash is on the mountain for a season of melt-freeze cycles, it becomes embedded into the ice and is incredibly difficult to chop out and remove.
As the waste problems have increased, so too have removal efforts. In 2019, cleanup crews hauled some 24,000 pounds of trash off of Mount Everest. Purja is currently raising money to pay for a team of Sherpa to deep clean both Everest and K2 by removing trash and old, dangerous ropes.”

“But while cleanup expeditions are productive, the culture of climbing these peaks has to shift in order to effect meaningful change. Ballinger ran a clean-up on Ama Dablam in 2010, but felt that it actually gave companies permission to do less. “Until we change the culture, a cleanup expedition just encourages poor behavior,” says Ballinger. Two years after the big clean, the trash problem on Ama Dablam was worse than it had ever been before.
Ballinger believes that the movement toward a better mountain experience has to come from the operators, and that clients have to demand it. Many companies, both local and Western operators, pay their support staff to clean up their expedition’s trash. By choosing to climb with these outfitters, prospective clients can support these ethical practices with their wallets.
“If you’re leaving an 8,000-meter peak as a client feeling a little dirty inside about what might have happened on your trip, whether that’s frostbite on your Sherpa or the fact that you left all your poop at camp two—who wants that?” says Ballinger. “None of us are going to be proud of climbing these peaks anymore.””

[Bill Ryan]

Hey what about this, does it qualify? Anybody else agree that heroic deeds might merit some slack about garbage etc.? I think this story, as written, is a sad example of deluded perfectionist idealist prescriptionist dumbass hopium, a steaming pile of stinky sentiment, all four corners’ debris field of the crash of what was, once, our plane of excellence. Oof.No, it doesn't qualify at all, and trashing a beautiful and majestic natural mountain environment (which is what this is all about) is nothing to do with people's personal behavior with one another. That's the topic of this thread.

BUT, littering and disrespecting the Himalayas is something I care about and do know something about, so for sure it'd be a justifiable new thread topic in another forum section.

:focus:

[DeeMetrios]

Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise ...
100% agree .

[TEOTWAIKI]

Not trying to make this a mountaineering thread :) but Purja was mentioned and I just finished watching his documentary called, "14 Peaks: Nothing Is Impossible" and would recommend it to anyone that likes mountain climbing documentaries. It is excellent!

Sorry if this needs to be on another thread...

[ExomatrixTV]

Living in brutal self-honesty does not mean you think you are "flawless", but at least you are willing to learn & improve yourself no matter what!

As someone who is Dutch https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png (born & raised) most who are real people from The Netherlands https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png are KNOWN to be unfiltered, coming across "arrogant" and-or "rude", blunt, super frank, outspoken, straightforward, highly pragmatic but NOT claiming to be "all knowing", there is always room for improvement! ... If you are surrounded by people who do the same, you can sense if someone has "evil intent" or allows everybody to have their own personal growth dealing with controversial issues ... It is all "trial & error" learning from mistakes and move on!

When you get a genuine, honest feedback that is 100% truthful from the perspective of someone, it does not mean that person is not willing to learn new insights it may have overlooked. If you are surrounded by people NOT giving truthful "feedback" >>> How on earth should you improve yourself if they think you can not handle the truth?

There are 100s of very good YT videos explaining (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness) WHY the Dutch https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png are like that and how it is often seen as very liberating for many foreigners living for a couple of months here. They see the practical benefits of being "brutally honest" and actually mean what you say .... not "playing nice" all the time ... If a Dutch person is nice it is mostly 100% genuine without "hidden agendas" without being conditional and so many outside The Netherlands do not get that (sadly enough!).


There is so much more I can say about the psychology behind all this, but I leave that for a different time.

What I notice with many (not all) people living in the USA https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t93/1/16/1f1fa_1f1f8.png but much more with people living in UK https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t96/1/16/1f1ec_1f1e7.png that their 3 most used common phrases I personally will NEVER use or have to use ever!


01. "To be frank ..." (then saying something that is more truthful).
02. "To be honest ..." (then saying something that is more honest).
03. "To be fair ..." (then saying something that is more balanced & fair).

Every time when I hear someone using 01. and or 02. and or 03. I always say: "WHAT (THE F) IS WRONG BEING ALWAYS FRANK, HONEST & FAIR?"

The world would be really better place if people STOP lying to themselves and to others "to fit in" and call it being "social".

No wonder the world is a big mess, there are also "social" types in The Netherlands https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png "acting nice & empathic" but they can easily change in collectivist tyrants imposing stuff and "demanding" stuff and become "authoritarians" claiming to be "inclusive" and "tolerant" but are obviously NOT ... They lie to or deceive themselves, beLIEving they "are" what they claim ... This self-deception rhetoric often happens in a "hive mind" aka "group think", collectivist setting, not really take any responsibility of their own quality of thinking (acting accordingly). They rather hide behind the mainstream pushed narratives (whatever that is) and we have seen that happening in 2020 onward with countless examples!

I personally met & experienced all kinds of non-Dutch people who totally get it what I am saying ... and they have severe issues to practice above insights & wisdom in their own country because they are in a small minority ... Thus, have less experience how to live your life to the fullest! ... If you are surrounded by people lying to themselves, it can be highly depressing dealing with that day in day out ...


Just do a YouTube search "Dutch Directness" see: youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness) (100s of different non-Dutch people explaining their experiences in The Netherlands 🇳🇱 living here for months!).

cheers,
John Kuhles (https://substack.com/@johnkuhles) https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tdb/1/16/1f99c.pnghttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tbb/1/16/1f98b.pnghttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t6b/1/16/1f333.png


source (https://www.facebook.com/groups/stop5g/posts/1914419435659869/)

[Abondance]

Living in brutal self-honesty does not mean you think you are "flawless", but at least you are willing to learn & improve yourself no matter what!

As someone who is Dutch https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png (born & raised) most who are real people from The Netherlands https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png are KNOWN to be unfiltered, coming across "arrogant" and-or "rude", blunt, super frank, outspoken, straightforward, highly pragmatic but NOT claiming to be "all knowing", there is always room for improvement! ... If you are surrounded by people who do the same, you can sense if someone has "evil intent" or allows everybody to have their own personal growth dealing with controversial issues ... It is all "trial & error" learning from mistakes and move on!

When you get a genuine, honest feedback that is 100% truthful from the perspective of someone, it does not mean that person is not willing to learn new insights it may have overlooked. If you are surrounded by people NOT giving truthful "feedback" >>> How on earth should you improve yourself if they think you can not handle the truth?

There are 100s of very good YT videos explaining (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness) WHY the Dutch https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png are like that and how it is often seen as very liberating for many foreigners living for a couple of months here. They see the practical benefits of being "brutally honest" and actually mean what you say .... not "playing nice" all the time ... If a Dutch person is nice it is mostly 100% genuine without "hidden agendas" without being conditional and so many outside The Netherlands do not get that (sadly enough!).


There is so much more I can say about the psychology behind all this, but I leave that for a different time.

What I notice with many (not all) people living in the USA https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t93/1/16/1f1fa_1f1f8.png but much more with people living in UK https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t96/1/16/1f1ec_1f1e7.png that their 3 most used common phrases I personally will NEVER use or have to use ever!


01. "To be frank ..." (then saying something that is more truthful).
02. "To be honest ..." (then saying something that is more honest).
03. "To be fair ..." (then saying something that is more balanced & fair).

Every time when I hear someone using 01. and or 02. and or 03. I always say: "WHAT (THE F) IS WRONG BEING ALWAYS FRANK, HONEST & FAIR?"

The world would be really better place if people STOP lying to themselves and to others "to fit in" and call it being "social".

No wonder the world is a big mess, there are also "social" types in The Netherlands https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t5e/1/16/1f1f3_1f1f1.png "acting nice & empathic" but they can easily change in collectivist tyrants imposing stuff and "demanding" stuff and become "authoritarians" claiming to be "inclusive" and "tolerant" but are obviously NOT ... They lie to or deceive themselves, beLIEving they "are" what they claim ... This self-deception rhetoric often happens in a "hive mind" aka "group think", collectivist setting, not really take any responsibility of their own quality of thinking (acting accordingly). They rather hide behind the mainstream pushed narratives (whatever that is) and we have seen that happening in 2020 onward with countless examples!

I personally met & experienced all kinds of non-Dutch people who totally get it what I am saying ... and they have severe issues to practice above insights & wisdom in their own country because they are in a small minority ... Thus, have less experience how to live your life to the fullest! ... If you are surrounded by people lying to themselves, it can be highly depressing dealing with that day in day out ...


Just do a YouTube search "Dutch Directness" see: youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness) (100s of different non-Dutch people explaining their experiences in The Netherlands 🇳🇱 living here for months!).

cheers,

JohnKuhles (https://substack.com/@johnkuhles) https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tdb/1/16/1f99c.pnghttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tbb/1/16/1f98b.pnghttps://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t6b/1/16/1f333.png


source (https://www.facebook.com/groups/stop5g/posts/1914419435659869/)


Some years ago I would go to the Netherlands at least once a year for business, our main supplier being in Amersfoort. After shopping, my companion and I used to go to Amersterdam for the evening and I always had great memories there ( except restaurants, very few offer good food, and the most horrible ice cream I’ve ever eaten, apart from good quality fish. And pickpockets but this is part of the usual wildlife in tourist areas of large cities).
The behaviors were sometimes surprising and so fun (a little crazy) and very spontaneous, which is probably in line with what you describe John.
It was the only country where people volunteered to help, while we were trying to find our way back on a map of the city and even the relationship with our supplier was of great quality and friendly. I was pretty upset to see what was happening with the farmers there as well, to see those blows from the government.